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PRACTICAL 
FEMALE 
PSYCHOLOGY 

for the Practical Man 



Joseph W. South 
David Clare 
Franco 



Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man is a unique 
examination of women and relationships in an era of material 
equality between the sexes. Despite vast gains in the welfare 
of women, especially in the modern West, both men and 
women are finding relationships ranging from dating to 
marriage increasingly difficult. The authors draw upon cutting 
edge science in evolutionary biology, and neuropsychology, 
and vast personal experience with women to distill some 
simple and practical principles men will find useful for 
creating and maintaining relationships with emotionally (and 
sexually) compatible women. 



in an ideal world, a man would profit from another's wisdom 
so he could be successful in relationships from a young age, 
but in modern society he's misinformed and therefore his 
relationships are sabotaged before they even start. Here, 
Joseph, David and Franco provide a guide to having successful 
relationships with real advice that works in the real 
world. - Paradise, author of "21st Century Fox - Space Age 
Pimping." 



In an ideal world, a man would profit from another's wisdom 
so he could be successful in relationships from a young age, 
but in modem society he's misinformed and therefore his re- 
lationships are sabotaged before they even start. Here, Franco, 
Joseph and David provide a guide to having successful rela- 
tionships with real advice that works in the real world. 
— Paradise, author of 21st Century Fox: Space Age Pimping 



More great publications from Real Modern Man and affiliates. 

Joseph W. South 

The Joseph W. South Show! 
josephwentsouth .com 

Franco Seduction 

Manual of Seduction 
francoseduction.com 



realmodemman.com 



Practical Female Psychology 

for the Practical Man 



A Joseph <C> David 's? Franco 4 



Real Modern Man Inc 



Published by Real Modern Man Inc and Matrix Nova Tmi. 

Copyright © 2008 Real Modern Man Inc, Clare Communications, 
and Franco Seduction. All Rights Reserved. 

Revision 640 

Published June 18, 2008 

DISCLAIMER: The material in this book is provided for entertainment 
purposes only. Use of this material by the reader is done solely at his or her 
own discretion and risk. The authors and editors do not accept any legal 
responsibility for such use. The reader understands and agrees that the 
information contained herein does not constitute medical advice. The 
material within is not a substitute for psychiatric treatment, psychological 
counseling, or any other type medical or professional treatment. The reader 
hereby agrees to hold harmless the authors, editors and publishers of this 
hook from any liability or harm arising out of reading this book or any 
attempt to apply the knowledge contained herein. All readers are responsible 
for any use or misuse of the material presented in this work. 

NO WARRANTY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED IS MADE FROM THIS 
WORK. 

Illustrations: Free Documentation licensed illustrations from 
Wikipedia are used in this book. 

SCN; Spartan Thunder 



iv 



The authors dedicate the work to the man serious about women, who 
is wilUng to examine his own life to determine "Is what I have what 
1 really want?" And who is ready and willing to take action, 
immediately. 

The authors also dedicate this work to the women in their lives, past 
present and future. Those mothers, sisters, friends and girlfriends, 
dates, lovers, flings, partners, wives and all those women who have 
been our inspiration, our muses throughout our lives. We hope that 
the man or men in your lives are, or will learn to he, your every 
thought of a man. 

Joseph W, South: In particular, I dedicate this book to Olivia, who in 
three wonderful years has taught me a great deal about patience, 
empathy, and sensitivity to the feminine spirit. 



V 



Acknowledgments 



We especially thank all the men we have met who have become 
determined to "get this part of my life handled" and who have 
graciously and freely shared an enormous amount of experi- 
ence with the authors. 

We are deeply grateful to numerous academic scholars as well 
as several members of the seduction community; people who 
have dedicated their lives to the understanding of the female 
mind and body and to sharing their wisdom with their fellow 
man. 



vii 



Contents 



About the Authors xvii 

Introduction xxiii 

This Book is for You xxiv 

Our Motivation xxvii 

How to Read this Book xxvii 

1 The Role of Evolution 1 

Sexual Selection 2 

Evolutionary Psychology 3 

Altruism and Selfishness 4 

Practical Advice 6 

2 Female Neuropsychology 9 

Language and Female Sexual Arousal 10 

Female Need for Communication 11 

Mutual Gazing 11 

Female Blueprint 12 

Passivity and Receptiveness 13 

Body Language and Sexual Arousal 14 

Practical Advice 14 

3 Female Logic Explained 17 

The Calculus of Emotion 18 

Biological and Psychological Factors 19 

Emotional Awareness 20 

Practical Advice 21 

Flip the Script 22 

Some In-Field Examples of Female Logic .... 23 

ix 



Lead Her Emotions 24 

Meta-emotions 26 

4 Female Basic Conflict 29 

The Lover-Provider Dichotomy 29 

The Lover 30 

The Provider 30 

Dissociation 31 

Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider 32 

Female Projection 34 

Female Ambivalence 34 

Practical Advice 35 

5 Female Subcommunication 37 

Basis for Subcommunication 38 

Phenomenology of Female Subcommunication . 40 

Effect of Subcommunication on the Male Brain . 41 

Real-Life Experience 43 

She is Keeping her Options Open 44 

Be that Man 45 

Cultivate Discretion 46 

Subcommunication in the Workplace 47 

Talk Like a Man 48 

Practical Advice 48 

An Example 50 

6 The Magic Pussy Syndrome 53 

Recognizing MPS 53 

Origins of MPS 56 

Pussy Trance 57 



X 



Practical Advice 58 

7 Female Archetypes 61 

The Adventuress 62 

The Materialista 62 

The Good Girl 63 

Sex Drive and Self Esteem 63 

High Sex Drive 64 

Low Sex Drive 64 

High Self-Esteem 65 

Low Self-Esteem 65 

Two Modern Archetypes 65 

The Situational Ten 65 

The Eternally Single Woman 66 

Practical Advice 67 

8 Screening for the Archetypes 69 

The Good Girl 70 

The HSE Case 70 

The LSE Case 71 

The Adventuress 72 

The HSE Case 73 

The LSE Case 73 

The Materialista 74 

The HSE Case 76 

The LSE Case 76 

Practical Advice 77 

9 Female Self Esteem 79 

Basic Trust 80 

xi 



The Early Frame Announcement 80 

Relationship with Sexuality 81 

Internal Beliefs of the HSE woman 82 

Internal Beliefs of the LSE woman 83 

How LSE and HSE Women Test Men Differently 83 

Awareness of Her Own Sexuality 84 

LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests 85 

The LSE Threshold Test 85 

Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 86 

Presenting Yourself as Free-Minded 87 

Testing her Level of Self-Esteem 88 

The Tendency towards Self-Destructiveness ... 89 

Practical Advice 90 

10 Screening: HSE vs. LSE Women 93 

Gender Differences with Screening 93 

Poor Screening: Two Classic Examples 95 

More Examples of Poor Screening 95 

What should I Screen for? 96 

How she treats you 97 

How to Screen Effectively 98 

Eliciting Values 99 

Compliance 100 

The LSE Threshold Test 100 

The Double Bind 101 

Practical Advice 102 

11 Stages of Manipulation 105 

Stages of Female Manipulation 107 

Testing the Male 107 

xii 



Seeking Communication 109 

Putting Him to Work 110 

Female Evolutionary Selfishness 110 

Female Self- Determination Ill 

Manipulation End-Game 112 

Practical Advice 113 

Testing 113 

Seeking Communication 114 

Being Put to Work 115 

Evolutionary Selfishness 115 

Self-Determination 116 

12 Root Causes of Conflict 117 

Root Causes of Conflict 117 

Improper Screening 118 

Female Integrity 118 

The Early Frame Announcement 119 

Subcommunicating the EFA 120 

Detecting a Woman's EFA 121 

Some Examples of the EFA 122 

Setting Proper Boundaries 124 

Practical Advice 125 

13 Female Manipulation 127 

Double Bind 127 

Description of the Double Bind 128 

An Example of a Double Bind in Action . 129 

Practical Advice: Breaking the Double Bind . . . 131 

AB Indecision 133 

Bait and Switch 135 

xiii 



Detecting the Bait and Switch 136 

Ambush 137 

Some Practical Help: Focus on the Process .... 139 

Jealousy 140 

Rich Descriptions 141 

Pouting and Whining 142 

Practical Advice: Taking Action 143 

14 Female Arousal and Sex Drive 145 

Biological Differences in Sexual Drive 145 

Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 146 

Low Drive Women 147 

High Drive Women 149 

Calibrating Sex Drive 150 

Self-Esteem Considerations 151 

The HSE/HD Woman 151 

The HSE/LD Woman 152 

The LSE/HD Woman 152 

The LSE/LD Woman 153 

Verbal Stimulation 153 

Incipient Bisexuality 154 

Practical Advice 155 

Develop Masculine Sexual Leadership 156 

15 Last Minute Resistance 159 

Biological and Sociological Purposes of LMR . . 160 

Two types of LMR 162 

Dealing with LMR 162 

Preempting LMR 163 

The Rapo Game 164 

xiv 



16 The Madonna/whore Complex 167 

What is the Madonna/whore Complex? 168 

Where does it come from? 169 

Do I have the Complex? 171 

How can a Man Avoid Being Harmed by this 

Phenomenon? 172 

Love a Woman for Who She Is 172 

17 Dealing with the Madonna/whore 

Complex 175 

Understand Yourself 176 

Have a Realistic View of the Woman 178 

The Female View of Sex and Politics 179 

Case Study: The Pastor 179 

Case Study: The Sports Celebrity 180 

Case Study: The Prince 181 

18 The Anti-Slut Defense 183 

ASD in Seduction 183 

What is a "Slut", anyway? 185 

ASD in Long-Term Relationships 185 

Practical Advice 186 

Demonstrate Discretion 188 

Reducing ASD Ln LTRs 189 

19 Male Qualities Attractive to Women 191 

Looks 191 

Alpha Atributes 192 

Dominance and Social Status 196 

Practical Advice 197 



XV 



Glossary of Terms 



About the Authors 



David Clare 

I am in my mid-40s. I was married for eight years, in what is 
now referred to as a co-dependent relationship, to a woman I 
deeply loved. My exasperation and frustration with her behav- 
ior resulted in my losing attraction for her. I was unable to lead 
her effectively, but my strength of commitment to the sanctity 
of our marriage transcended what I considered to be relatively 
trivial concerns of sexual and emotional fulfillment. She left. 
I still believe, in the long-term scheme of things, considering 
the capriciousness that life deals us even in the best case, that 
the security, financial stability and deep caring that I gave her 
would have been to her best benefit. Had she stayed, I still 
believe we would have been able to work it out. 

Now that I understand a lot more about how women work, I 
won't ever be in such a situation again. I now have the tools 
to emotionally and sexually satisfy women. More importantly, 
I have the skills to ensure I choose women that sexually and 
emotionally satisfy me. I feel as if I am in paradise, living in 
a large urban area with large numbers of attractive, successful 
women, and so few men with the skill to excite their imagina- 
tions! 

Furthermore, I now have skills for managing different kinds 
of relationships. Not all women are high-speed-rail bound for 
matrimony at all costs, a tremendously self-limiting belief in- 
grained in the so-called "men's movement." Women are in- 
finitely more complex than that, and always have been^ as au- 
thors such as Casanova delighted in telling us hundreds of 
years ago. That I choose to be in one form of relationship over 
another is my choice. 

Part of the motivation for pouring my energy into this book 
comes from disillusionment with the standard self-help ma- 
terial available on bookshelves everywhere. I could not find 
anything at all that offered a view of masculinity, which didn't 
involve me ultimately submitting to a point of view that felt 
emasculating and deeply unnatural. Applying the information 



Joseph <> David '7 Franco <|> 



in those books did not help me save my marriage, and more 
importantly, it didn't help me to be a better person. 

1 felt 1 had nowhere to turn, that is, until I found a group of men 
on the internet, united by a common delight in women. My 
experience was not unique! Other men were dealing with the 
exact same issues I was dealing with. Other men felt what 1 felt. 
Other men were tired of being a sympathetic, generous man 
being automatically spurned even by unattractive women! Can 
you feel me here? Ridiculous isn't it? 

Most importantly, I learned through applying "seduction tech- 
niques" that everything to do with "picking up chicks" applies 
just as well, if not more so, to women in relationships. Picking 
up different women requires learning a few basic skills which 
can be applied repetitively: same schtick, different chick. In 
a relationship, you are picking up the same woman, over and 
over and over again. Now that, friend, requires some A++, 
rock-solid, locked-on, hard core skills. 

And that's what we're all about. 

Joseph W. South 

I am in my late 30's. I am a single white male, divorced. Ac- 
cording to all the self-help books on dating and relationships, I 
have a lot going for me: good fashion sense, decent looks and 
financial independence. I am unusually kind, loving and car- 
ing. However, as I learned from reading such books as No More 
Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover, my abundant "niceness" 
was mostly just a facade covering over the real personality of a 
fairly aggravated man. 

Until recently, women were a complete mystery to me. What's 
worse, I believed that I actually understood women, despite ex- 
periencing a lot of frustration and lonely nights. I had no prob- 
lem finding a girlfriend, which was probably due in part to 
some of my qualities that I've listed above. But having lasting, 
happy relationships, and having a woman truly adore me for 
who I am in a lasting way is another matter. 

Five years after first stumbling across a David DeAngelo prod- 



xviii 



uct on the internet, I now date several women both in my home- 
town and abroad. Every one of these relationships are superior 
to any I had before, even to those prior occasions when I felt 
like I had found "the one." 

I now realize I can generate attraction and have a relationship 
with a wide variety of women; however, my standards have 
risen and I am much more selective about who I will get inti- 
mate with. Ironically, as my standards have risen, so too have 
my options. Beautiful women no longer intimidate me and I 
see that physical beauty is, in fact, very common. Now, I can 
focus on getting the type of relationship that I want, and I am 
not merely idolizing women's bodies like I used to. 

I have devoted my life to reading, studying, meeting people 
and entrepreneurial ventures. My father was a successful, self- 
made businessman who was plagued with confusion about wo- 
men and their nature right until his death. He would often 
complain to me and my siblings about ill treatment from his 
wife, and 1 could never understand why my father would re- 
main with a woman whom he obviously did not like. I silently 
vowed to myself to resolve once and for all the questions of 
relationships, sexual attraction, and achieving respect from the 
women I encounter in my life. I deeply believe that these are 
things that every man wants, and I have the passion and de- 
termination to find that for myself and to help other men to do 
the same. 

I now enjoy happy, sexual and platonic relationships with sev- 
eral women, with each woman's knowledge and consent. 

Franco 

1 am a man in his middle 40s and what many might consider 
to be a "bad guy." I am a businessman and also a medical pro- 
fessional in a field where I am in daily contact with the darkest 
and most tragic aspects of human nature, 

I have been since childhood what you would call a "Natural," 
as in a natural playboy: a man who likes to have sex and re- 
lationships with a lot of women, knows how to achieve that 
and feels no guilt feeling about it because it is for him com- 



xix 



Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco <|> 



pletely natural. A Natural is a guy who belongs to a mostly- 
misunderstood sexual minority, just like gays or lesbians. A 
Natural is a guy who was never under the influence of the 
Madonna/ whore complex and who has been loving multiple 
women since he was young. 

Usually, a Natural is not aware of being such, and that was my 
Karma until 1995 when, at the end of my former marriage, I 
slowly became conscious, in a rather tragic way, of the shocking 
fact that, given certain circumstances, I could be emotionally 
dangerous to women in this society. 

I realized at a certain point that I was emotionally dangerous to 
women because as a "Natural" I was not able nor I was moti- 
vated in the slightest way to repress my male sexual instinct, as 
many men do. I have found in my life that a man like me can 
be highly arousing to women, and at the same time put them 
in emotional danger. 

Many men make an agreement to giving up their own mas- 
culinity and sexuality in exchange for sex and affection. These 
men accept being emasculated by a woman whom they feel has 
taken the role of the Madonna in their life. I never did that; I 
just continuously went for what I wanted. In my life there were 
no "Madonnas" and there were no "whores," only women. I 
was unable to consider all women to be whores as many other 
men do. I simply loved all the women I had dealings with, and 
I am proud of it. 

As a Natural I was not completely conscious of the fact that lov- 
ing women for exactly who they are can even be emotionally 
dangerous in our society. When I realized that loving women in 
this way can in fact be emotionally dangerous, I decided that I 
would start to help other men to love women for who they are, 
without putting the women in emotional danger. 

Too many men do not see women for who they are. So many 
men could make a better life for themselves if they would come 
to understand the real nature of the female psyche, learn how 
to love women for who they are, and even help to make wo- 
men into better people. I have been in a wonderful position to 
get a deep understanding of these things, because throughout 



XX 



my life I have loved with all my heart and dedication women, 
especially those women your mother and father warned you 
about. 



More information 

The authors provide a wealth of resources in order to help you 
to apply this material and continuously enhance the richness of 
your relationships with women, including one-on-one coach- 
ing, audio programs, and other articles and books designed to 
help with specific aspects of male-female relationships. You 
may find out more about the authors and the products and ser- 
vices that they offer by visiting the following web sites: 

Real Modern Man: http://realmodernman.com/ 

David Clare: http://appliedromance.com/ 

Franco: http://franco-seduction.com/ 

Joseph W. South: http:/ /josephwentsouth.com/ 



xxi 



Introduction 



The first rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight 
Club. — Tyler Durden, from the movie "Fight Club" 

UR book isn't for everyone. Some men are deeply an- 
gry, bitter or cynical about women in general; we 
can't help you. You must first let those destructive 
emotions dissipate. Such emotions are frightening 
to women, such that they actually produce a physical, instinc- 
tual response within her. Even a physically small man becomes 
a big, scary guy throwing a big, scary fit when he allows his 
angry emotions to run amok. Women have a biologically hard- 
wired panic reaction to such behavior, and they will avoid men 
exhibiting signs of it. 

Men who are happy in their marriages have little need for our 
material, although we guarantee they will read it and find them- 
selves saying, "Hey, that's what I do too!" And we believe that 
even happy men will find nuggets of wisdom that allow them 
to be more than just happy. We're talking real wisdom, that 
will allow men to absolutely delight the women in their lives 
and teach men to take their relationships to the next level. 

This book is for men who love women and want to improve 
their relationships with them and achieve maximum well-being 
for both parties. 



The Modem, Western Woman 

Men and women in our modem society have become emo- 
tionally and psychologically distant from each other. In some 
countries — such as the United States and western Europe — 
the situation has worsened. Women today have far greater 
civil rights than men, yet continue to engage in political bat- 
tles against men whom they view as their common oppressor. 
This process creates resentment in men, who feel that they are 
no longer being appreciated as fathers and husbands. Many 
men react to this by engaging in infidelity with other women 




Jk Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4t 



(or even men!) and/ or withdrawing from their responsibilities 
as fathers and husbands. 

The modem, western woman is free to explore as wide of a 
range of sexual experience as she desires, with very little risk 
to her physical health and safety. However, women are still 
subject to the dictates of biology, which have evolved over mil- 
lions of years, and women still suffer from culturally-induced 
biases that hinder them from truly enjoying their sexuality. In 
this book, we will demonstrate vividly the ramifications of both 
biology and culture on the modem woman, and we will show 
you how to help her to overcome these biases, for the rich en- 
joyment of both of you. 



This Book is for You 

If women seem mysterious to you, it simply indicates your lack 
of experience or knowledge, nothing more. It's nothing to be 
ashamed of, but it is something to rectify. 

For men who find women a complete mystery, there is hope: 
much of female behavior can be predicted, as Franco is famous 
for saying, "with mathematical precision!" Think about it. The 
average college woman has dated many men, perhaps 6 or 12, 
or possibly (almost certainly) many more. She has a wealth of 
resources at her disposal for dealing with men, ranging from 
gossip with friends and coworkers, to shelves of books in the 
bookstore, to any of dozens of magazines such as Cosmopolitan; 
all of these dedicated to the art of maintaining attraction and 
connection with men. What do men enjoy that's comparable? 
Nothing! And in the realm of divorce, custody and domestic 
violence law, today's woman almost always enjoys far more 
rights than any man does. 

The majority of men today do not possess very many tools 
that work effectively when it comes to understanding and deal- 
ing with the opposite sex. Go ahead and take a visit to your 
local bookstore. Browse the books on relationships, and the 
books authored by women purporting to tell you "what wo- 



xxiv 



This Book is for You 



men want" and "how to treat women." Does this stuff actually 
work? Well, with divorce rates at an all-time high, with divi- 
sions between the sexes even more pronounced than ever, we 
would have to say "no, it does not work!". In our own personal 
.experience, the prevailing, mainstream dating and relationship ad- 
vice does not workl However, once you unravel the mysteries 
of siibcommunication with our help, you will read these books 
in a whole different light. Very much like reading between the 
lines, you will begin to see that what women say isn't exactly 
what they mean, at least not in terms of male language. You 
must pay attention to how women say what they say — and 
equally importantly — to what they have left unsaid. As we 
will show, these same books can actually become a gold mine 
of information once a man understands how to use these re- 
sources properly. 

When relationships are handled properly, modem, western wo- 
men provide men with unparalleled opportunity for personal 
growth and enrichment. Women today have more money, more 
power, and more education than at any time in history. Many 
women today can completely financially support a man and a 
family. Women can train their minds and develop their bodies 
to help even the score physically with men, and therefore can be 
in less danger from physical assault than ever before in history. 

The basis of our book is the celebration of femininity and fe- 
male sexuality. We absolutely adore women! All three of us, 
in our everyday lives, are passionate lovers of women, both in- 
side and outside the bedroom. However, we do not worship 
women. We simply treat them as truly equal partners, and in- 
sist that they act as responsible adults in their interactions with 
us. We — along with the women with us — get what we need 
and want out of our relationships. As importantly, we have 
learned to choose women receptive to what we are able to bring 
to relationships. With most women, we step up to the leader- 
ship position that we naturally posess as men — which most 
women absolutely crave, whether they admit to that or not. 



XXV 



A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



Setting the Stage 

Have you ever met a man who says of his wife, "She's the 
boss!"? No doubt you have, and no doubt you've noticed that 
when a man says something Uke this, he means it, as if his wife 
figuratively carries his balls in her purse. Do you find this sort 
of thing to be vaguely (or extremely) alarming? We certainly 
do, for many, many reasons. 

Fundamentally, we find this type of situation alarming because, 
in our actual, real world experience with women, such men 
are invariably less than delighted with their marriages. At the 
same time these men feel powerless. They also suspect, often 
quite correctly, that their wives don't really respect them. Ask 
any one of these men, "Hey, how's sex with the wife?" and 
most likely you will get answers ranging from "Sex? What's 
that?" to a hostile "That's none of your fucking business." In our 
experience, we rarely meet the man who smiles, saying "She 
treats me well." 

You've probably experienced a similar pattern when it comes 
single men. Of course, there are single men that have happy 
and vibrant sex lives. But teenage boys and young men are of- 
ten taught through locker room antics that it's ok and even a 
lot of fun to brag about sexual conquests that are exaggerated, 
and that many times, never even happened. And then there are 
other men who begin a relationship and enjoy incredible sex at 
the beginning, only to find that over time, the sex diminishes 
as the woman's emotional demands increase. You may have 
even experienced the pain that comes when you love your girl- 
friend so much and would do anything to please her, and yet 
the harder you try, the more distant she gets. This can be ex- 
tremely frustrating for a man. 

We are here to tell you: It doesn't have to be this way! 

We will show you throughout the pages of this book how you 
can escape all manner of emotional traps and manipulation. 
We will teach you ways of changing yourself, thus allowing you 
to lead yourself into a happy future with an adoring woman. 
We give you practical advice every step of the way, with real 



xxvi 



Our Motivation 



examples drawn from our personal experiences. 



Our Motivation 

SOj why did we decide to write this book about women, any- 
way? We want to help our fellow men to understand, appre- 
ciate and love women for who and what they are. We want to 
destroy a myth: the myth that women cannot be understood. 
Women can be understood, as Franco likes to say "with mathe- 
matical precision," and women can be loved for who they are, 
with the greatest love. We want to share with you what we have 
found actually works with happy women in our lives, women 
who do indeed treat us well. 

When the three of us met each other for the first time and be- 
came friends, one thing was clear from the start: all of us love 
women for the wonderful human beings that they are. Each of 
us consider it most important to unconditionally love women for 
who women are, rather than who we would naively wish them to be. 



How to Read this Book 

Throughout this book, we repeatedly share our beliefs about 
women and female behavior. We are much less concerned with 
proving any irrefutable truth than we are with the efficacy of 
our beliefs. The framework we present is based on biologi- 
cal and evolutionary principles, but we don't insist on causal- 
ity. These principles simply provide a coherent structure upon 
which to hang our experience with women, and our observa- 
tions of women's behavior. 

Each chapter describes a key component in the panorama of 
practical female psychology, yet each chapter is inter-related. 
To get the most out of this book, you may find the need to read 
it more than once. We use many broad generalizations to iso- 
late and precisely describe various facets of female behavior. 



xxvii 



Ht Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



The reader must understand that applying any broad general- 
ization to a specific woman requires calibrating the principle to 
the women at hand. No one woman embodies a stereotype, yet 
all women share common traits in greater or lesser degree. 

We wish all of you a wonderful journey during your reading 
of this book. We sincerely hope that this book will be of help 
to many, many men the world over, as they strive for their life- 
long, natural desire to make the women that they love exceed- 
ingly happy. 



xxviii 



1 The Role of Evolution 



Whatever is done from love akvaifs occurs beyond good 
and evil. — Beyond Good and Evil, Friedrich Niet- 
zsche 



ARWIN proposed that evolution proceeded by both 
natural selection and sexual selection. The tenets of 
natural selection have been exhaustively studied for 
more than a century, and we assume the reader has 
at least a passing acquaintance with this subject. In contrast, 
the formal study of evolution driven by sexual selection, espe- 
cially in humans, has been virtually ignored, possibly due to 
social prudery with respect to the subject of sex. Sex is a messy 
business after all. The result of such research could be person- 
ally unsettling and socially risky. 

Nevertheless, the problem of "sex" remains. 

VJhy sex evolved is especially problematic.^ It turns out that at- 
tempting to explain mating behavior simply by means of sur- 
vival is too naive, resulting in theories showing that asexual 
reproduction is more advantageous. Clearly, such theories are 
in error! Thus Darwin's distinction between natural selection 
and sexual selection must be reconsidered. 

Our interest in the "why" of sex results from curiosity, whether 
or not our experience and observation of the courtship and 
mating behavior of a wide variety of women support the tenets 
of evolutionary psychology in general, and sexual selection in 
particular. 

Furthermore, we see no hard distinction between the biological 
and the psychological aspects of the human being, but we con- 
sider them both as expressions of a whole. If you, the reader, 
are mystified in the matter of female relationships, some of the 
material we present in this book may seem to you to be very 
far from reality. However, when you observe the principles in 
action, you will begin to understand that female behavior and 
female psychology are both perfectly understandable. 




The "how" of sex, that swapping of genetic material, is well-understood. 



♦ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



This chapter will help you to understand some of the founda- 
tional psychological principles upon which male-female rela- 
tionships are played out on a more biological and behavioral 
level in real life. These principles help explain a wide range 
of female behavior we discuss through the book. We'll start 
with sexual selection, then discuss evolutionary psychology, 
and close with some important points about altruism and self- 
ishness as defined from an evolutionary perspective. 



Sexual Selection 

Selection refers to heritable traits that remain in — and have 
spread through — a population, because those traits served to 
increase the rate of reproduction of the organisms embodying 
those traits. Heritability refers to genetically-determined traits, 
which vary in their expression within a population. For exam- 
ple, we will refer to the female's manipulative skills, her degree 
of sexual desire, her mate-selecting skills, and so on. Variation 
refers to a state in which there exists a variety of genetically- 
determined traits within a population. 

Sexual Selection can be divided into two main categories: inter- 
sexual selection, representing choices made with the opposite 
sex, and /«fra-sexual selection, representing choices made with 
respect to competition with the same sex. 

/nter-sexual selection refers to the traits that one sex generally 
prefers in the opposite sex, such as leadership qualities, big 
muscles, impudence, aggressive behavior, and so on. (See Chap- 
ter 19, "Male Qualities Attractive to Women" for some practi- 
cal tips on how to cultivate some of these key attributes within 
yourself). For example, a woman of a lower social level can eas- 
ily identify survival with the skills for physical work at home, 
and she therefore may prefer a man who posesses good skills 
for physical labour. A woman of a higher social level, on the 
other hand, may identify survival more with leadership qual- 
ities and impudence, and therefore may prefer a man who is 
able to put himself in the position of being the leader of other 



2 



Evolutionary Psychology 



men. 

/«fra-sexual selection refers to competition occurring among 
the members of the same sex for mating access to the opposite 
sex. For example, it has been observed that a woman's sex- 
ual arousal can increase when she becomes aware that she is 
in the presence of a man who is sexually attractive to women 
in general. In other words, men who are successful with wo- 
men tend to naturally attract more women to them merely as a 
result of their being attractive to other women. What is hap- 
pening in this case is that the female evolutionary system has 
detected the man as being fitter for survival, and the female 
consequently reacts with increased sexual desire. 



Evolutionary Psychology 

Evolutionary psychology proposes that the human brain com- 
prises many functional mechanisms called "psychological adap- 
tations" or "evolved cognitive mechanisms," all evolving from 
natural or sexual selection. Some examples include: language 
acquisition modules, incest avoidance mechanisms, cheater de- 
tection mechanisms, intelligence and sex-specific mating pref- 
erences, foraging mechanisms, alliance-tracking mechanisms, 
agent detection mechanisms, and so on. We won't get into too 
much detail about each of those mechanisms, and will limit our 
discussion to: 

• female sexuality and female emotional life, and 

• female reproductive mechanisms from the point of view 
of sexual selection. 

In general, evolutionary psychology asserts that many univer- 
sal behaviors and aspects of society result from evolutionary 
adaptations. Such behaviors are studied to determine whether 
they are preserved in evolution as being useful to survival, or 
deleted for not being useful. For example, when we refer to 
females with high sexual drive or to females with low sexual 



3 



Jit Joseph <> David ^ Franco A 



drive, we are referring to sub-groups of women whose base- 
line sexual drive has evolved differently, depending on differ- 
ent survival needs and behaviors. 

Within the framework of evolutionary psychology, a woman 
with a high sex drive is more prone to get impregnated by dif- 
ferent men, which shifts her focus from the care of one child 
to the care of many children. Depending on her behavior with 
respect to social norms, such a woman may be labeled "promis- 
cuous" or worse, "slutty." A woman with a low sex drive is less 
prone to be impregnated by many different men. Her focus is 
more on the care of fewer children than on her being impreg- 
nated by many men. Again, depending on her behavior, such 
a woman may be labeled "cold," or "frigid." Both high sex 
drive and low sex drive females are useful to nature for differ- 
ent reasons. In the first case, wider genetic variety results. In 
the second case, greater genetic survivability results. 

Interestingly, these natural differences have been distorted by 
men, in an attempt to understand them and to cope with the 
fear caused by them. We believe that male cognitive distortion 
of these natural feminine traits is the reason for such beliefs 
within our modem population as the "Madonna /whore com- 
plex," which we discuss extensively later in the book, along 
with many other examples such as the so-called "last-minute 
resistance" and "anti-slut defense." 



Altruism and Selfishness 

Many men, especially men who have become emasculated by 
women, fail to understand the real evolutionary meaning of 
female altruism and /or selfishness, which truly depends on the 
circumstances. They fail to see it as a continuously changing 
process that occurs within the same woman, and instead they 
tend view it in a more static and conflictual way. We believe 
that under the influence of the Madonna/ whore complex, men 
stereotypically categorize women into rigid categories of altru- 
istic or selfish. This is understandable, because some of the 



4 



Altruism and Selfishness 



mechanisms which are useful to the continuation of life and 
the fitness of the species are often very immoral and shocking 
when seen from the point of view of the individual. But this is 
the way it is. 

Usually, women are naturally altruistic towards their children, 
and to a lesser extent, close family members. But what about a 
woman's interactions with men that she has romantic or sexual 
relationships with? Should you be expecting mercy or altruism 
towards you from your female romantic partners? Perhaps, 
perhaps not. Our belief is that it's never appropriate for a man 
to expect altruism from a woman, only to appreciate a woman's 
altruism when she provides it. 

Men who become physically unfit in relationships learn very 
quickly that many woman have no compunction against kick- 
ing a man while he is down. As David says, she needs to feel 
that he is the same strong bastard she was initially attracted 
to, even when he is sick-in-bed with the flu. This is a purely 
selfish response from the woman for evaluating — on an emo- 
tional level — the man's continued fitness. 

Consider the predicament suffered by the physically large, men- 
acing Icelandic berserker Egil Skallagrimson. The onset of ill 
health (probably Paget's disease^) gradually rendered him deaf, 
blind and subject to migraines, whence, as the saga tells us, he 
was ridiculed by the women of his household, the same wo- 
men he protected and provided for in his younger, healthier 
days!^ 

Egil, after moving in with his son-in-law. Grim, at 
Mosfell, was walking outside one day when he stum- 
bled and fell. Some of the women who saw this 
laughed: 

"You're really finished, now, Egil," they said, "when 
you fall without being pushed." 

"The women didn't laugh so much when we were 
younger," said Grim. 

■^httpr// www. viking. ucla.edu/Scientific-American/Egils-Bones.htm 

^The Sagas of Icelanders 



5 



ilt Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4|k 



Ifs to Egil's credit he eventually expired of old age, rather than 
the treachery or mischief rampant in Iceland during the periods 
of the sagas. 

Among humans, altruism can be observed when comparing a 
woman from a more traditional, patriarchal country, to a wo- 
man from a more politically-correct, industrialized country. A 
woman of a traditional patriarchal country will be more moti- 
vated in terms of altruistic behavior towards her husband (that 
is, the family's Provider) because the role of family and patri- 
archy is still seen as much more important in those countries. 
In fact, supporting her man by sacrificing herself will increase 
the likelihood of spreading her own genes to her children. 

This altruistic effect is virtually lost in politically-correct west- 
ern countries, such that a woman's motivation for altruistic be- 
havior towards her husband (Provider) may be almost non- 
existent, or will be limited to a short period of time between 
getting pregnant to the early years of the infant's upbringing. 
Selfishness emerges when the woman can induce a man to pay 
for the children without impinging on her freedom, via the 
state-sanctioned mechanism of child support. This selfishness 
provides the woman with material support for children by one 
man, while allowing her to become impregnated by another 
man, with little or no material or social risk to herself. 

In short, evolutionarily-derived altruism and selfishness both 
have clear reproductive advantages, depending on the woman's 
material and social circumstances. A practical man will keep 
these notions in mind wlien arranging his affairs with the wo- 
man or women in his life. 



Practical Advice 

It's not mandatory to accept all of the tenets of evolutionary 
psychology in order to be successful with women. However, 
such a study will broaden your understanding of why females 
think and act the way that they do. Three books we have found 
very helpful are Matt Ridley's The Red Queen, Robin Baker's 



6 



Practical Advice 



Sperm Wars and Geoffrey Miller's The Mating Mind. Each of 
these books are written by an expert in their field; brief reviews 
of each follow, below. 

One of the defining books on the evolution of sexuality is The 
Red Queen by Ridley [1]. The author puts forth several theories 
as to why men feel compelled to ask a woman's hand in mar- 
riage and how we get our concepts of physical beauty, among 
many others. Ridley also presents a convincing array of statis- 
tics which seem to prove that a woman is more likely to be im- 
pregnated during an illicit affair than she is with her husband 
or long-term boyfriend. The Red Queen is fun read, and Rid- 
ley wrote it in an easily-accessible style that anyone new to the 
field of evolutionary psychology can readily grasp and enjoy. 
We therefore highly recommend The Red Queen to help round 
out your education. 

Baker's Sperm Wars [2] is another extremely interesting book 
examining human reproductive strategy. Baker makes a case 
based on evolutionary biology that human males and females 
exhibit a wide range of sexual behavior as an evolutionary re- 
sponse for widening the gene pool. His treatment is explicit 

— at times graphic — in it's description of mating strategies, 
and he pulls no punches with respect to controversial topics, or 
even criminal behavior on the part of either males or females. 
As troubling as many of the behaviors Baker documents are, 
we find that fitting such behaviors into a rational and naturally- 
evolved framework is extremely helpful for guiding our inter- 
actions with women (and men). 

Miller, an evolutionary psychologist at the London School of 
Economics and at UCLA, proposes in The Mating Mind [3] that 
a large portion of the human brain evolved into a Courtship 
Mind (the "mating mind"). This explains why many genetic 
traits such as talents for music, or mathematics, or mechanics 

— which have very poor value from the point of view of nat- 
ural selection — have evolved in our species. Miller maintains 
that both sexes have evolved many significant ways of display- 
ing fitness via expression of creative intelligence, such as story- 
telling, poetry, art, music, sport, dance, humour, kindness and 
leaderhip. That such traits not strictly connected with survival 



7 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ♦ 



is problematic in other theories. 

As we wrote in the introduction, this book is not intended to 
be a scientific textbook. Our main goals are to entertain and 
inform, and hopefully inspire men to action in creating the re- 
lationships that they desire with women. The interpretations 
given to the scientific literature cited are purely subjective and 
constitute the authors' own experiences with a wide variety of 
women and their interpretations of the studies. The validity 
of our interpretations should be confirmed or negated by con- 
cretely testing them in the field of male-female relationships. 

Our experience, however, is our own. We're positive that if 
men test our theories within the realm of everyday experience 
with women, they will find them to be extremely practical. We 
encourage you to maintain an open mind, to read the books 
reviewed above, and to read more on this topic from the variety 
of sources found in the bibliography. 



8 



2 Female Neuropsychology 

Perhaps truth is a woman who has reasons for not let- 
ting us see her reasons ? — The Gay Science, Friedrich 
Nietzsche. 

-EUROPSYCHOLOGY is the Study of how the function 
and structure of the brain relates to specific psycho- 
logical processes. Part of neuropsychology involves 
studying how brain activity expresses itself through 
verbal, cognitive and physical indicators. For example, with 
regards to sexuality and emotional life, there have been recent 
studies on the effects of childhood abuse on the neuropsycho- 
logical and cognitive functions in women, and the effects of 
hormonal activity on sexual orientation.^ 

For centuries, women have been more advanced in knowledge 
of male sexual neuropsychology; women needed such skills for 
physical survival in a world dominated by large, aggressive 
men. Women are usually totally silent about their deep knowl- 
edge of the male psyche and sexuality. We believe this silence 
is a result of: 

1. The female need to manipulate the male into a Provider 
role for reasons of survival. 

2. The female need for social acceptance, or social status 
preservation when promiscuity is punished (this refers to 
the Madonna /whore Complex, which is extensively dis- 
cussed later in the book). 

Our particular interest in neuropsychology is on signs of fe- 
male sexual arousal which can be detected by having a normal 
conversation with a woman, without the need to physically es- 
calate the interaction towards a sexual act.^ Sexual escalation 

"^We would like to see the subject of Female Neuropsychology taught to 
men at school! Many marriages would be saved and many couples would be 
happier. 

^Since this is not a book about sexology, we will not be discussing subjects 
such as the female orgasm, or difficulties with orgasm. 




Jit Joseph <0> David ^ Franco ^ 



is defined as the sequence of acts whiich bring a couple closer 
to the act of lovemaking. Understanding how to detect the 
level of female arousal without escalating physically increases 
a man's social awareness, allowing the interaction to proceed 
covertly rather than overtly. Since there exists a complex of ver- 
bal and non-verbal signs which indicate that the female is be- 
coming sexually aroused, this is a skill: a woman's arousal is 
expressed through her body and her brain's cognitive activity 
in ways that can be detected by simple observation. 

This concept of detecting female arousal through observation 
has been taboo for many centuries, we believe partly due to 
the Madonna/whore Complex and partly because we are only 
now begirming to understand the connection between brain ac- 
tivity and verbal and non-verbal signals. Due to the effect on 
the scientific media of the Madonna/whore Complex, a search 
of scientific literature on the topic of female sexual arousal finds 
studies about the "abnormalities" of female sexuality. There 
are very few articles on how a woman's sexual arousal can be 
detected in the context of normal, everyday social interactions. 



Language and Female Sexual Arousal 

Normal, healthy, adult women often become sexually aroused 
by words and communication. In neuropsychological terms, sex- 
ual arousal in women goes like this: words and communication 
and their effect on the woman's inner mental process creates 
a fantasy for her, and from this primary process follows the 
biological signs of sexual arousal, such as vaginal lubrication. 
Words and communication and their effect on the woman's in- 
ner mental process create pleasurable emotions, and from this 
primary process follows the biological signs of sexual arousal, 
for example an increase in her libido. 

The emotions which cause sexual pleasure within a woman can 
be both positive, as in joy, or negative, as in fear or anger. We 
postulate that a woman who is routinely sexually aroused by 
negative emotions is almost definitely a woman with psycho- 



10 



Female Need for Communication 



logical problems and a woman with lower self-esteem (LSE — 
explained in depth later in the book). We also postulate that to 
a certain extent all women are sexually aroused by strong emo- 
tions, and that strong emotions can also include those that we 
would consider as "negative emotions", even within a psycho- 
logically healthy woman. 



Female Need for Communication 

Though females may train themselves to act like men, in reality 
they have a very deep biological urge to be talkative. Certain 
studies indicate that females get a rush of pleasure by certain 
hormones when talking. Female hormones seem to act in such 
a way so as to induce in the female an extreme need for emo- 
tional expression and talking with her peers. 

It seems likely that men and women have difficulties in com- 
munication because the language they use and the needs they 
have with regards to their communication are often very dif- 
ferent. Science has not been able to demonstrate this for sure 
but several studies seem to indicate that what is intended as 
"communication" may be something totally different for men 
and for women. 

It is possible that already at the age of eighteen weeks, preg- 
nancy hormones define a totally different structure of the brain 
in regards to what is intended as communication. In other 
words, sexual hormones may effect the parts of the male and 
female brain dedicated to communication, such that their neu- 
ropsychological expression may be totally different depending 
on whether the person is a male or female. 



Mutual Gazing 

There is a need for the female of our species to seek mutual 
gazing, or deep and prolonged eye contact. In our extensive 



11 



4k Joseph <> David 9 Franco 4|k 



field experience we have repeatedly noticed this to be true. 

When a female is deprived of mutual gazing she gets anxious 
and depressed. Conversely, when she is rewarded by mutual 
gazing she gets pleasure and is satisfied. You might have no- 
ticed that your wife or girlfriend will become increasingly ag- 
itated when your eyes are focussed intently for any length of 
time on a television sporting event or towards your computer 
screen. 

Our field experience also indicates that females have ambiva- 
lent feelings in regard to males who reward them by talking 
a lot and engaging in mutual gazing. On one hand, they feel 
happy and rewarded. On the other hand, in the long run, wo- 
men will react with a decrease in sexual attraction towards the 
male who seeks too much attention from women in this way. 

Our rationale for this is that sexual attraction is created by con- 
trast. Ultimately, females are attracted by masculine features. 
Therefore, men who reward females with a lot of feminine traits 
such as conversation and mutual gazing are at risk of having 
those females lose attraction for them in the long run. These 
men risk becoming too effeminate in the eyes of their women. 
Calibration is therefore crucial; you will need to listen and ob- 
serve and thereby determine the right amount of these things. 



Female Blueprint 

A Female Blueprint is a specific set of emotions which is indi- 
vidual to the particular woman and which elicits sexual arousal 
in her when it is targeted — either consciously or unconsciously 
— by the male. The Blueprint has an evolutionary purpose: 
it sets the conditions for specific evolutionary selection based 
on certain specific features, which are by nature much more 
specific than what would arouse most males. Males, as we all 
know, can be easily aroused by the sight of a naked, beautiful 
woman. But female arousal is not usually as simple as that. 

Here are some typical Female Blueprints: 



12 



Passivity and Receptiveness 



J 



• A woman is sexually aroused by successful businessmen 
who cause her to daydream about flying worldwide for 
the purpose of building successful businesses. As you 
can see, this is very specific, and the woman will pre- 
dictably become sexually aroused by men who elicit this 
Blueprint from her. She may be totally incapable of sex- 
ual arousal with a guy who is of the "rock star" type and 
without good business sense. 

• A woman is sexually aroused by men who give her the 
feeling of being free and wild; for example, in the manner 
that a rock star or a member of a motorcycle gang might 
do. In this case, she will remain completely cold sexually 
when in the company of a businessman and will show 
biological signs of sexual arousal when in the presence of 
the rock star. 

• A woman is sexually aroused by the emotions created by 
going shopping and looking for red underwear for her- 
self, especially if this happens in the company of a man 
who is able to describe with words the features of these 
clothes. We'll have more to say about such language, 
which we call Rich Description. 

As you can see, female sexual arousal has much wider variabil- 
ity when compared with male sexuality. 



Passivity and Receptiveness 

Passivity and Receptiveness are essential states that the aver- 
age woman needs to get into in order to become aroused sex- 
ually. A truly feminine woman will find it difficult to become 
sexually aroused with a man unless he is able to make her com- 
fortable with being both passive and receptive to the man and his 
advances. If a woman indicates that she becomes aroused by 
acting tough, by fighting or by primarily visual means, simi- 
lar to a man, we can say that her masculine behavior has either 
been learned or is intrinsic to her nature for biological reasons. 



13 



Jl^ Joseph <> David Franco 4|k 



Body Language and Sexual Arousal 

It would be almost impossible to list and describe all of the po- 
tential signs of female sexual arousal. We provide a few key 
examples in order to give you an overview of the correlation 
between the psychology of a woman and the neuropsycholog- 
ical expression of her arousal. 

Soft Signs are expressions visible through body language and 
through cognitive brain activity that something is happening 
within the brain. What follows is a list of some Soft Signs in- 
dicating female sexual arousal. This list could be very lengthy, 
especially for an experienced seducer: 

1. Looking downward after having had eye contact with a 
male she is sexually attracted to is a clear sign of submis- 
sion among all primates. 

2. Giggling is often sign of submissiveness. 

3. Emotional or dramatic outbursts. In most cases, this is a 
clear sign of sexual arousal in a woman. 

4. Impaired concentration and an increase in the unrelated- 
ness of emotions within a sequence. 

5. An increase in lower body movements which attract male 
attention. 

6. Blushing. 

7. Scratching of her wrists and inner arms. 



Practical Advice 

All of our work in this hvok is based on the assumption that 
the human being is a cybei netic system wherein the mind and 
body are inseparable parts of the same system and affect each 
other. In other words, we believe that the mind and the body 



14 



Practical Advice 



of a person are closely coupled, rendering true distinctions dif- 
ficult to determine. 

You are now in a position to train yourself to observe the soft 
signs of arousal within your woman. You will find a clear cor- 
relation with what you do — and what you do not do — in the 
course of your relationship and the signs of her arousal. Learn 
to calibrate. Keep in mind that the main purpose of evolution 
is to screen for better genes and that everything that your wo- 
man does or doesn't do is in one way or another linked to that 
purpose. 

There are couple of very good guidebooks with respect to Soft 
Signs available in the mainstream literature. Leil Lowndes' Un- 
dercover Sex Signals [4] is a compendium of just such manner- 
isms as listed above, and many, many more. Ms. Lowndes 
is an outstanding author, perceptively noting that such signals 
should not be taken at face value. Rather, view each soft sign as 
a "letter". By learning to assemble these "letters", you become 
adept at reading her "words", which in turn are communicat- 
ing her intentions. 

Tracey Cox's Superflirt [5] could be considered an illustrated 
encyclopedia of body language. Some of the material is simi- 
lar in content to Undercover Sex Signals, but the presentation is 
complementary. We recommend that you get both books. 



15 



3 Female Logic Explained 

/ zvant wonderful and fascinating and marvelous things 
to happen to me and I don't want to do anything to make 
them happen. Nothing at all. — Lanya, from Dhalgren, 
by Samuel R. Delany 

FOR ages, men have considered "Female Logic," or the fe- 
male way of thinking, to be one of the greatest myster- 
ies in the universe. Psychoanalysts, philosophers and 
poets have spent countless amounts of time agonizing 
over this topic. 

Well, the good news is that female logic (also known as chick 
logic) can be explained to men in a perfectly understandable 
way. You can learn how female logic works just like you can 
learn the functions of a computer or the technical specifications 
of a car. 

First of all, based on what we considered in Chapter 1 with 
regards to Evolutionary Psychology, let's stipulate that every 
function of the human brain has an evolutionary purpose. The 
evolutionary purpose of female logic is to achieve two basic 
goals: 

1. To create ideal conditions for the procreation and birth of 
children, and ideal conditions to protect those children 
during their early years of development. 

2. To influence the men and the environment around her to 
give her and her children support and protection. This in- 
fluence commonly manifests as manipulation (more about 
manipulation in Chapter 13), which in this scenario may 
be seen as a positive force used by the woman instinctu- 
ally as a means to support life. 

A woman naturally achieves these goals by creating within her- 
self a sense of emotional congruence. When creating such emo- 
tions, the woman is especially concerned with "how she feels 
right now" as opposed to a male-logic concern of "how a corre- 
lates to b, or how a is the cause of b." In psychologically healthy 



Jk Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



women, these will be emotions of pleasure and safety. In other 
women, drama, histrionics and hysteria serve a similar pur- 
pose. 

In the following discussion, the reader should keep in mind we 
are not making any value or moral judgments. Emotional rea- 
soning is very likely deeply embedded into people, if not all 
mammals. Human males have simply evolved a further char- 
acteristic of being more able to easily suppress emotional rea- 
soning.^ 



The Calculus of Emotion 

Female logic is based on a calculus of emotion, allowing a woman 
to understand her current emotional state as a causal result of 
a chain of external factors. That these factors may he physically il- 
logical or irrational is emotionally irrelevant. Men typically have a 
great deal of trouble following women's physically non-causal 
emotional reasoning, and don't understand that to the woman, 
accepting the emotion is much more important than determin- 
ing a logical or rational underlying cause. 

Female logic can be visualized as a sequence of emotional states 
along of the lines of the imaginary chain: 

where the elements are absolutely not required to be in what 
men would consider logical, rational or physically causal cor- 
relation between each other. Instead, these states are correlated 
in terms of how the emotion b was the cause within the woman 
of the emotion c, and of the emotion x and so on, without any 
other correlation between each of the other elements whatso- 
ever, and where there is no certainty about which element may 
or may not be the cause of the next one in the sequence. 

Note: we are making some very broad generalizations here! 

'Men who manipulate women often turn tables on women by employing 
this same sort of reasoning. The authors view this as an abrogation of mas- 
culinity: men should lead, not manipulate. 



18 



Biological and Psychological Factors 



Some women employ chick logic exclusively, other women not 
so much. But in our experience, most women will resort to 
emotional reasoning when under the influence of powerful, 
uncomfortable emotional states, or in uncomfortable social cir- 
cumstances. 

Some women's behavior is primarily driven by their emotions. 
In many cases, these women share their feelings with you in a 
balanced way, having developed very good control over their 
emotions. In other cases women can be prone to discharge their 
problems on you in a massive way. Neither one of these types 
of women may have a functioning sense of causality between 
her emotional states. Trying to apply male logic to women 
and their emotional states is therefore inappropriate and it only 
leads to frustration in the male attempting the analysis. 

It is important to note that female emotionality is of an in- 
ward nature. Franco believes this is strictly connected with 
pregnancy and motherhood. This may appear in some women 
as extreme self-centeredness. In reality this trait is a positive 
strength created by nature to achieve maximum well-being in 
a woman's body and in her psyche, in preparation for the cre- 
ation of a new life. It may sometimes seem to you that your 
woman is unable to feel empathy towards your needs as a man. 
For this reason it is crucial for a Modern Man to be totally non- 
needy in any relationship with a woman. 



Biological and Psychological Factors 

We believe sex drive and self-esteem both influence a woman's 
susceptibility to use emotional calculus. 

Women with a High Sex Drive, defined as "HD" in this book 
(details in Chapter 7), exhibit female logic to a more impres- 
sive extent. This is because female logic is not an isolated phe- 
nomenon, but it is strictly connected with the woman's sexual 
instinct. In contrast, women with a Lower Sex Drive, defined 
in this book as "LD", exhibit female logic to a lesser degree. 
The Modern Man can use seduction techniques to change LD 



19 



X Joseph <> David <y Franco 4 



women into HD women, if he so chooses. When that happens, 
the formerly-LD woman starts to exhibit emotional thinking to 
a greater extent than before. 

LD women also use female logic, but it is different compared 
with the female logic displayed by HD women and it is also 
more subtle. 

Self-esteem is another factor which influences female logic to 
a great degree. Women with Low Self-Esteem (defined in this 
book as "LSE"), employ a more primitive, wilder kind of fe- 
male logic. Women with High Self-Esteem (defined in this book 
as "HSE") have a higher-level kind of female logic, which is de- 
tectable only by very experienced seducers. Most men will be 
able to notice female logic coming from an LSE woman, but 
they will rarely be able to detect female logic coming from an 
HSE woman. 



Emotional Awareness 

Most men would like to relax when they get into a committed 
relationship with a woman. In an attempt to relax, the man 
will start an attempt to establish control her behavior as soon as 
he gets in touch with her emotional side. This almost always 
leads to disappointment, because often a woman will dramati- 
cally escalate her use of female logic the more she is sexually at- 
tracted to her man. The more logic and control a man attempts 
to establish, the more the woman will escalate emotionally. For 
her, it's a matter of self-defense to preserve her sense of identity 
as a woman. 

When a man tries to have his woman's female logic repressed 
and transformed into male logic, he may actually be repress- 
ing his woman's sexual attraction towards him. It is vital to 
remember that the kind of emotional thinking within the wo- 
man — which we identify as female logic — may be strongly 
linked to her sexuality. 

Dealing with a woman and her female logic in the proper way 



20 



Practical Advice 



is not difficult, but you cannot relax in the way a man normally 
intends to relax. This is because if a man could naturally un- 
derstand a woman when she is thinking with her female logic, 
he would no longer be a real man, but rather quite an effemi- 
nate man. Instead, to make a woman happy and sexually ac- 
tive, a man must cultivate a constant state of awareness within 
himself: be aware of her emotional state, without allowing her 
emotional state to affect you. 

So the key to dealing with female logic is constant emotional 
awareness. In fact, you can bet that without being emotion- 
ally awareness your woman will surprise you, sometimes in 
very unpleasant ways, and on a regular basis. With emotional 
awareness, you will be able to anticipate her emotions, and 
lead her through a sequence of positive states. 



Practical Advice 

The best way to deal with female logic is to help your wo- 
man to actually enhance it, instead of trying to change her. This 
must happen in such a way that you never lose your masculine 
frame, because if you do that then you will become her "male 
girlfriend"; emotionally close for sure, but without the sexual 
tension that is at the very center of any healthy romantic rela- 
tionship. 

At its core, female logic is somewhat schizophrenic. Therefore, 
in order to be able to deal with it successfully, you have to po- 
sition yourself in a little bit of a schizophrenic manner; i.e. you 
must be able to talk chickspeak, without ever losing the sexually 
active and aggressive frame of the masculine male. 

The big problem with books such as John Gray's "Men are 
From Mars, Women are From Venus" [6] is that while they can 
help men to understand female logic to a certain degree, in the 
process they emasculate the man, stripping him of his mascu- 
line core. In order to maintain sexual attraction from a female, 
we need to understand female logic but at the same time re- 
main as real, masculine men. We do not effectively resolve the 



21 



^ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



differences between male logic and female logic by becoming 
females! 

An important thing for the modern man to keep in mind is 
that the mechanism of female logic is especially activated by 
the presence of the male himself. The more a woman finds her- 
self in the presence of a masculine man, and especially if she 
is sexually attracted to that man, the more she will get into the 
emotional mental state described above. 



Flip the Script 

The rationalization by women of their emotional processes is 
what we like to call "Chick Logic" and it is a fundamental 
weapon in the female arsenal for managing their relationships 
with men. Chick logic leads to notions such as "If you don't 
talk about it, it never happened." When you hear a phrase 
like this from a woman, understand that what this means in 
practice is that she doesn't want to talk about something that 
"causes" her to feel bad. Never mind whether the whole in- 
cident was captured on video, that's completely irrelevant to 
her. As long as she never talks about it, she never has to feel 
those bad emotions.-^ 

When a man gets angry with a woman and describes her as 
a "selfish bitch," what is happening is that he is relating to a 
woman who is presently focused, to an extreme extent, on how 
she feels right now. In fact, the more a woman can be referred to 
in the context of male logic as a "bitch", the stronger and more 
primitive her female sexual instinct is. 

Women exhibit female logic to different degrees. The degree to 
which a woman exhibits female logic is caused by biological, 
psychological and social factors. 



^David remembers that he had a relationship once with a woman who 
came back from a small resort 90 miles south of Cancun and let the follow- 
ing comment slip: "What happens in the islands stays in the islands." At that 
time, he didn't think much of it. Now, it strikes him that she probably had sex 
while she was down there, and didn't want to feel guilty for "cheating." 



22 



Practical Advice 



Some In-Field Examples of Female Logic 

Franco has been married twice and has otherwise been in lov- 
ing relationships with many women. Once upon a time he 
picked up a woman. Let's call her Lady BadKisser. This girl 
was at that time looking for a committed relationship and Franco 
was enjoying being single. As usual. Franco attempted to ini- 
tiate sex with the woman. It is our very strong opinion that 
no man should even think about starting a serious relationship 
with a woman if she does not demonstrate from the outset that 
she enjoys being sexually engaged with the man. 

So, Lady BadKisser kissed Franco, but when he kissed her, he 
could sense that she was reacting with uneasiness to his kiss. 
This was a good indication to Franco that he should forget this 
particular woman and concentrate on the next one. So Franco 
naturally reduced his time with her. On a subsequent occasion 
the woman told Franco that the reason for her hesitancy was 
because Franco was not willing to have a serious relationship, 
which was quite true at that time. 

After that, they did not meet again for several years. In the 
meantime. Franco got married again, and while Franco was 
married, he met up with Lady BadKisser. They talked and they 
had quite a good time together, and wouldn't you know it? She 
tried to kiss Franco. After that, she started to call him and to 
send him text messages quite frequently. 

This woman was clearly an LD woman and Franco was quite 
interested in understanding how it was that she had this appar- 
ent sudden change from LD to HD. She was actually embar- 
rassing him, by being quite sexually aggressive towards him 
all the time while they were out together in public. 

Well, when finally they talked in depth about this. Franco found 
out the reason: 

Lady BadKisser: "Franco, you are a married man now, so I 
finally know that I can trust you." 

Unbelievable! 

In fact, this story makes perfect sense when viewed in the light 



23 



^ Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4^ 



of female logic. The woman did not trust Franco when he was 
single. She believed that Franco was only interested in a casual, 
sexual relationship with her. At that time, under the influence 
of her strong emotional state "X", she was unable to see that 
Franco may be capable of a committed relationship in the future. 
To do that she would have had to be capable of stepping out of 
her emotional state and thinking logically. 

When she came to know that Franco was now married, she 
came under the influence of another, different emotional state, 
let's call it State "Y", which for her means, "I can trust this guy, 
because he can be my husband". This new emotional state con- 
fused her logic even more because she started to feel that she 
should be Franco's wife and not some other woman. 

When we analyze this woman's contrasting emotional states 
"X" and "Y," we see that she is not capable of logically connect- 
ing the two states together. For her, the two states are equally 
real and equally valid, except that state "X" no longer applies, 
because it is now evident that Franco is husband material, which 
corresponds to her desires for a man, and not a bachelor, which 
is unattractive to her.^ 

Lead Her Emotions 

The authors can deliberately induce an emotional, feminine- 
logic state in women. We have seduced somewhat-masculine 
women, those being defined as women who have consciously 
trained themselves to suppress their female logic. Here are a 
few real-life examples: 

Woman: "Franco, I had believed that I was not a chicl^en like 
my mother is, but when I am with you I feel I am just like her." 
... or ... 

Woman (shouting): "I am used to being in control!" 
... or ... 

Woman: "Unbelievable!... I do not feel ashamed about sex at 
all with I am with you." 

■'Women can learn to logically connect with their emotional states. Appar- 
ently, this is as difficult for women as emotionally connecting to logical states 
is to a man. 



24 



Practical Advice 



And so on. 

The vast majority of men are totally unaware of how their own 
close proximity to their women is the actual cause of the wo- 
man going deeper and deeper into this natural emotional state. 
Once you acknowledge this fact, a lot of good things will start 
to happen for you. For one thing, you no longer need to argue 
or have fights with your woman! 

The majority of arguing that occurs among couples is in fact 
dvie to men attempting to apply male logic to women, and wo- 
men trying to apply their female logic to men, while they are 
interacting with each other. Therefore, if you want to increase 
the sexual attraction of a woman and communicate with her ef- 
fectively, stop asking her the following type of question when 
she is in an emotional state: "How the hell does X relate to Y? 
Or how does Y relate to Z?" 

For example, she may shift from an emotion called X to an emo- 
tion called Y during your conversation, without any apparent 
logical connection between the two points. You need to under- 
stand that the only logical connection between the two points 
is definitely something in her outer world, which has caused 
her to shift from the emotion X to the emotion Y. 

Here is another real-life example: 

Franco: "So tonight we are going to watch a wonderful movie.. 
Yesterday when we spoke, we agreed to go at 5:00PM." 
Woman: "Where are you?" 

Franco: "At the office. So 1 will meet you at the railway station 
at 4:45 pm. They say this war movie is very good." 
Woman: "You are always working. You surely like to be away 
from home!" 

At this point, she is clearly feeling some strong emotions con- 
nected with Franco being at the office. Unfortunately, the ma- 
jority of men would react like this: 

Average Guy, in an angry or frustrated tone: "Hey look! I have 
my next client about to come in. So are we going to meet at 4:45 



25 



Ht Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



or not?" 

This response would be a very logical thing to do, because the 
man surely remembers that in the morning they had agreed to 
go to watch that movie together. However, this would be a case 
of trying to apply male logic to the woman's emotional state. 
She will likely be upset by such a response and feel that her 
man doesn't understand her. Instead, the experienced seducer 
would drop the logical, male reaction and instead respond with 
something like this: 

Franco: "Yes., to think if I would have to go and fight in a war... 

so many months away from home." 

Woman: "You enjoy killing, don't you?!?" 

Franco: "I sure do love the feeling of running towards the enemy 

and putting a bullet into his head." 

Here Franco shows that he does not care too much about her 
disappointment, but this causes no problem because Franco is 
in fact matching her emotional state in that moment. That, in 
fact, is what women want! Imagine that this discussion contin- 
ues as follows: 

Woman: "Alt men are the same; they only want money, power, 
and killing!" 

Franco: "Yes. Actually I think we should purify ourselves... how 
about we plan our next vacation for the monastery at Valamo?" 

And on and on he goes, teasing her about her emotions, and 
as a result she gets hornier and homier. Franco missed out on 
going to many movies in this way! 

Meta-emotions 

Culturally, the West has placed a premium on male control of 
emotions, which is nearly always performed by using rational 
logic. We believe that both men and women experience the 
same suite of emotions to a greater or lesser degree. A man can 
develop the ability to tap into emotions just as women do. 

Once a man is attuned to a woman's base emotions, he is able 
to tune into much deeper emotional states. For example, con- 
sider the following statement: "Sometimes, it feels good to feel 



26 



Practical Advice 



bad." Most men have absolutely no conception of what such 
an obviously contradictory statement means. 

And most women do. 

Furthermore, even men who understand the concepts of con- 
tradictory emotional states in an intellectual way, may remain 
completely unable to enjoy these emotions with women. In the 
worst case, a man will treat woman's capability to enjoy con- 
tradictory and conflicting emotions with contempt. 

One common way to gain an understanding of meta-emotions 
is to ask a women how she feels about how she feels. Suppose 
she is feeling good about something. Does she feel good about 
feeling good? Or does she feel bad about feeling good. 



27 



4 Female Basic Conflict 



Tell me, what you're thinking about 
When you got me waitng patiently 
Usually, I don't have to wait for nobody 
But there's something about you 
That really got me feeling weak 
— Tell Me, by P. Diddy (feat. Christina Aguilera) 

RULY understanding the psychology of women requires 
being aware of a fundamental conflict in the nature 
of women's relationships with men: women are more 
sexually attracted to men who are less inclined to pro- 
vide for them. That is, in their hearts chicks love to love bad 
boys, but in their heads they know that nice guys make much 
better husbands. 

This Female Basic Conflict is a schizophrenic duality between 
a woman's need for survival, on the one hand, and her need to 
express her own sexuality, on the other. This creates a psycho- 
logical condition whereby a woman's sexuality is necessarily 
ambivalent and conflicted, in order to be able express itself to 
the maximum extent. In this chapter we will help you to easily 
recognize this phenomenon in women and how to deal with it 
effectively. 

In a nutshell, the Female Basic Conflict is: 

• The need to manipulate a man into the role of her Provider. 

• Automatic contempt and a lowering of her sexual attrac- 
tion towards a man who lets her do so. 



The Lover-Provider Dichotomy 

Before we discuss the Female Basic Conflict in depth, we need 
to provide you with an explanation of certain terms. Through- 
out history, women have typically been condemned for any ex- 
pression of their natural sexuality. In addition, women have 




X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



naturally a strong survival instinct, which is intrinsically tied 
in with pregnancy and child care. Because of these two factors, 
women have developed a strong tendency to divide men into 
one of two categories: Lover or Provider. 

The Lover 

The Lover is a man with whom a woman can freely express 
her sexuality, without having to be worried about that man at- 
tempting to exert control over her — either in a physical way or 
with respect to her material well-being — and without having 
to be worried about being morally judged by that man. 

In our modern society, a woman will typically consider a man a 
Lover, only if he is not in a position of having any responsibility 
for her or her children, and only if he does not live in the same 
territory as her (i.e., he does not share a house or apartment 
with her), nor exerts any physical or material power over her. 
At the same time, the Lover induces a strong sexual attraction 
within the woman. 

The Provider 

A Provider, on the other hand, can be defined as a man who has 
agreed to take responsibility for the woman and her children, 
both financially and emotionally. This usually is accompanied 
by the exerting of power over the woman. 

We will analyze the characteristics of men who are either Lovers 
or Providers throughout this book. At this time, suffice it to say 
that when a woman chooses a Lover, she is primarily basing 
this choice on an emotional basis, with respect to the raw sex- 
ual attraction she feels. An intelligent woman will usually only 
choose a man as a Provider after careful, rational analysis over 
a period of time. The conflict arises due to the fact that when 
a man positions himself in the Provider role, he will generally 
be perceived by the woman in such a way that her feelings to- 
wards him as a Lover are negated or at least diminished. This 
is due to the fact that, in many ways, the Lover personality is 
in conflict with the Provider personality. 



30 



Dissociation 



The Lover-Provider dichotomy creates a psychological dissoci- 
ation within the woman, which occurs mostly on the subcon- 
scious level. 

For the modern man, it is essential to be able to discern the 
expression of this conflict, by reading the neuropsychological 
responses of the woman's brain activity and through an under- 
standing of the role of evolution behind such behavior. 

To be able to deal successfully with a woman's emotional life, 
you need to focus on the process, much more than any specific 
words being spoken, during any interaction with a woman. 

You should also to be able to view the relationship with a wo- 
man as more of an ongoing process, rather than something static 
and stable. Men — who are normally very good at understand- 
ing processes — often make the big mistake of considering a 
relationship with a woman as something fixed, immovable, or 
permanent, especially once the couple has settled in to a more- 
or-less long-term type of relationship, or expressed words of 
commitment to each other. 

This erroneous, predominantly male viewpoint only results in 
disappointment for both the man and the woman. 



Dissociation 

The Lover-Provider dichotomy often presents itself psycholog- 
ically as an act of dissociation in women. This occurs so of- 
ten due to the oppression of female sexuality throughout his- 
tory. As a modern man you need to fully understand what 
is involved in the phenomenon known as dissociation. Dis- 
sociation is a state of acute mental decompensation in which 
certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and/or memories are 
compartmentalized because they are too overwhelming for the 
conscious mind to integrate. An example of dissociation is this: 

Woman: (to her girlfriend or lover) "He is a good 
husband but I can't help but laugh at him for his 
niceness. He does all that I demand." 



31 



Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



Unconsciously, what this woman is really saying is: I cannot 
feel sexual attraction for a man who is being a Provider to me 
because I know he does that because he cannot get women to 
be sexually submissive to him. So I need now a Lover who 
makes me feel like a woman again. 

Many women may act like this in a totally innocent manner, not 
even aware of all of the psychological forces at work, because 
in their marriages with Providers they have felt they are under 
the effect of an oppression which has been put upon women 
for centuries. 

Now as a man what you need to know is this: under the ef- 
fect of the Lover-Provider dichotomy a woman can find her- 
self in a totally dissociative state which, means that she can act 
out under the influence of strong emotions in seemingly un- 
predictable ways. In other words, you can expect just about 
anything. 



Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider 

As we discuss at length throughout this book, behaviors are 
both evolutionarily-determined as well as learned. The pro- 
cess of learning behaviors, however, is very slow. New hu- 
man behaviors which fit better with survival can be learned 
and behaviors which become obsolete may be unlearned, but 
this takes a lot of time; often this process can take several gen- 
erations. 

In Western countries in the 21st Century we find ourselves in 
precisely such a situation. Women no longer have much of a 
practical need to manipulate a man into serving as a Provider 
to them, and women therefore find that they are struggling to 
unlearn these manipulative behaviors. 

This is a very difficult process because on the one hand, such 
manipulative behavior can still be very fruitful to a woman in 
terms of survival in today's world, but on the other hand such 
behavior often brings internal and external conflict to the wo- 



32 



Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider 



man. 

As a modern man you need to learn to be able to read this con- 
flict in women on the fly as part of her ongoing, internal pro- 
cesses. You need to be able to objectively analyze this conflict 
on an ongoing basis as it occurs within the particular woman 
in front of you. 

If a man tries to put himself strictly in the Provider role with a 
modern woman, sooner or later he will elicit in her the follow- 
ing symptoms: 

• Boredom 

• A massive lowering of her sexual attraction towards him 

• In some cases, even outright contempt from her towards 
the man 

You need to realize that the Provider frame is a dangerous frame 
to find yourself in nowadays. It has always been dangerous, 
but before, women were acting less dissociative than now. In 
the Modern Age the degree of dissociation coming from the 
Lover-Provider dichotomy is at it's maximum. This is largely 
due to a culture which simultaneously grants women greater 
sexual freedom than ever before, while compelling men to pro- 
vide materially for families that they may no longer form a 
strong part of, i.e. in cases of child custody disputes, child sup- 
port payments, and alimony. 

To keep up a woman's sexual attraction you have to be a Lover 
to her flrst and foremost. You can be also a Provider to her, but 
only without taking away the Lover part of your personality. 
As you read and absorb the information contained in this book, 
you are developing the tools you need to achieve that goal. 

In today's modem society this can be quite a challenge. Young 
women are unfortunately often raised to view men as little bet- 
ter than sperm donors, fuck buddies or ATM machines. Young 
girls raised with an absence of fathers tend to view men in a 
love-hate fashion, and they tend to be quite mystified as to the 
psychological needs and desires of men, if they even care about 
that at all. 



33 



A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4t 



Consider the consequences on relationships with women sub- 
ject to the Female Basic Conflict. Under the influence of this 
conflict a modem woman can and will give you contradictory 
communication, and she will do so on a continuous basis. It 
cannot be emphasized enough: a relationship with a woman 
should be viewed as a never-ending, ongoing process; not some- 
thing that can be resolved once and for all. 

Commitments, marriage, pronouncements of never-ending love 
made during romantic moments; none of these change the fact 
that a relationship with a woman is a never-ending process, 
and hopefully a happy process at that. 



Female Projection 

An important feature of female psychology is the projection of 
her emotions and needs into the environment. In other words, 
women tend to automatically place the responsibility for their 
emotions and needs on to their immediate environment. Peo- 
ple with psychological education know that this is actually a 
trait of Borderline Personality Disorder. Obviously, the vast 
majority of women are do not suffer from Borderline Person- 
ality Disorder, but it is interesting that this trait is apparently 
a normal part of psychologically healthy women in a reduced 
sense. 



Female Ambivalence 

Ambivalence is defined as state of having emotions of both 
positive and negative valence or of having thoughts or actions 
in contradiction with each other, when they are related to the 
same object, idea or person (for example, simultaneously feel- 
ing both love and hatred for someone or something). The term 
is also commonly used to refer to situations where 'mixed feel- 
ings' of a more general sort are experienced or where a person 
experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something. 



34 



Practical Advice 



A woman will often assume the right of delivering mixed mes- 
sages to you, without accepting any responsibility for doing so. 
In our modem society, this is in fact an extremely useful evolu- 
tionary trait for a woman to adopt, in terms of her survival. 

The evolutionary positive gain for the woman from her use of 
Ambivalence is that she keeps her options open, and in this 
way she can gain advantages from as many sources as possible. 
For example, a woman will often achieve material advantage 
with a Provider and sexual pleasure with a Lover and success- 
fully rule over both of them, if these men do not have the skills 
to deal with her manipulation. 

Men are logical creatures. When they build relationships with 
females they tend to act along structures based on a logical se- 
quence a—^b^c—>d—*e^f-- - and so on. When you 
create a structure you are doing something yang i.e. masculine. 

The secret wish of every woman is: to find a man who is able 
to build a safe and strong masculine yang structure around her 
feminine yin. 

For more on Female Ambivalence, please see Chapter 12 under 
the section "A/B Indecision". 



Practical Advice 

One of the standards you must adopt as a man, in advance, is 
to decide what role you would prefer to fulfill, with any wo- 
man you encounter. For example, if you are not interested in 
becoming a Provider, you will want to avoid behaviors that 
will tend to demonstrate that you are slotting yourself into the 
Provider role or that the woman can count on you for Provider- 
like behavior. For example, if you want to be strictly a Lover to 
a woman, it would be unwise to make a big display of show- 
ering her with free dinners and gifts, particularly before you 
have had repeated sexual relations with her. 

Understand that women will unconsciously test, and test vig- 
orously, and they will then slot you into either the Lover or 



35 



X Joseph <} David ^ Franco 4 



Provider category. For example, a woman may demand that 
you pay for her dinner or movie ticket, while reciting some 
commonly-used line such as "a gentleman always pays." This 
will not be a problem for you if you have already decided — 
well in advance — the type of man you are and what a woman 
can expect from her time with you. 

If you are wavering on this point — if you say to yourself that 
you will have a policy of never paying for a woman but then 
buckle when confronted with a determined, sexually-hot fe- 
male — you will invariably lose this game. A woman may or 
may not really prefer a man who pays for her, but she will al- 
ways despise a man who is unsure of himself and his standards. 

The challenge to you as a man lies within your ability to toler- 
ate female ambivalence. If you can, you may succeed in becom- 
ing dominant over her, which can greatly increase the chances 
of her remaining sexually attracted to you and a generally happy 
relationship. 

Your goal as a Modem Man should be to build a Yang struc- 
ture for the relationship, while simultaneously being able to 
psychologically tolerate female ambivalence. In fact, the more 
feminine she is, the more she will tend to be and act ambiva- 
lent. 

Unfortunately, the abdicating personal responsibility by wo- 
men is widely promoted and condoned in western media cul- 
ture and modem society. Therefore, as a Modern Man you need 
to leam to deal with this factor in real time and on an ongoing 
basis with the women you interact with. One way to do this 
is to set strong borders with a woman. This does not mean to 
become controlling or domineering. Controlling and manipu- 
lative behavior will automatically kill her perception of you as 
a Lover. It does mean having strong principles and standards 
that you adhere to and do not waver on, regardless of a wo- 
man's tears or how sexually desirable she appears to you. 



36 



5 Female Subcommunication 



You should be stronger than me 

Don't you know you supposed to be the man? 

You always wanna talk it through - 1 don't care! 

Why'd you always put me in control? 

— Stronger Than Me by Amy Winehouse 



NE of the most important aspects to understand about 
female psychology is the use and existence of a type 
of language known as subcommunication. It is a se- 
cret language evolved by women over millennia in 
a male-dominated world. In this secret language women com- 
municate their sexuality freely but in a way that most men can- 
not hear or understand. Women have learned the hard way 
through millennia that men have a psychological need to cre- 
ate a type of schizophrenic distinction among women, slotting 
all women into a category of either "whores" or "Madonnas". 

Subcom.munication is based on communicating with indirec- 
tion, double meaning, ambiguity, emotionality and imprecision 
for the following purposes: 

• To preserve social harmony. 

• To avoid responsibility and establish plausible deniabil- 
ity 

• To signal intent, as in "Tell without telling, ask without 
asking. " 

• To establish boundaries and frames of interactions. 

• To avoid commitment; maintain ambivalence; keep op- 
tions open. 

Furthermore, subcommunication imposes upon the recipient the 
responsibility of correctly interpreting the meaning. 

In this chapter, we will focus on subcommunication within the 
context of female sexuality. 




Jl» Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4k 



Basis for Subcommunication 

Men, throughout history, have traditionally wanted to own wo- 
men and women's bodies. In response, women had to invent a 
secret language that their oppressor could not understand, but 
that other women could easily understand. 

Women protect themselves using subcommunication when di- 
rect communication is dangerous. For example, women can 
be quite promiscuous, yet the consequences for being promis- 
cuous throughout history has often meant ostracism or even 
death for the woman, and humiliation for their families and 
the men that they are partnered with. No woman wants to be 
called a slut, which is exactly what happens even to modern, 
western women who are not sufficiently circumspect when dis- 
cussing matters of female sexuality outside of trusted circles of 
friends. 

As a result, while talking to each other and to men, women 
have learned to speak in this secret language. One of the pur- 
poses of this book is to disclose to men the secrets of Female 
Subcommunication, to be a translator of "womanese" to men. 
To be able to truly love a woman for who she is, a man must be 
able to read between the lines when it comes to her communi- 
cation.^ 

In contrast to women, men practice more of a direct style of 
communication. Men approach subjects of conversation in a 
manner which is more straight-to-the-point. Women, on the 
other hand, prefer to subcommunicate. 

Another reason for Female Subcommunication is the female 
preference for harmony of communication over absolute truth. 
The more feminine the woman, the more she will prefer har- 
mony to the objective truth. On the other hand, what is in- 
tended as the truth in the masculine world is something which 
is usually said succinctly, directly and in synthetic way. 



^Throughout this book, we will use the terms "womanese" and "subcom- 
munication" interchangeably to refer to the female style of indirect — and often 
secret — conversation. 



38 



Basis for Subcommunication 



Men gain social power by penetrating the space around them, 
through logic and mathematics and via physical strength and 
endurance. Women gain social power by communication, and 
will often try to avoid, at all costs, any appearance of social 
conflict. Female Subcommuniation is especially used in order 
to achieve social power through manipulation of their social 
counterparts, such that their social counterparts are persuaded 
to give women what they want. 

We can even observe biological reasons for the differences be- 
tween female and male styles of communication. As we've al- 
ready mentioned, the female brain seems to actually be struc- 
tured differently than the male brain, in significant ways, and 
in particular when it comes to the processing of language. It 
can be observed on the neuropsychological level that female 
language is much more descriptive and rich, whereas male lan- 
guage tends to be much shorter and precise. 

In a recent book called The Female Brain [7], Dr. Louann Brizen- 
dine claims that women actually devote more brain cells to 
talking than men do. Women actually get a chemical high from 
talking, and that would explain why they love to talk so much 
and why many men do not posess the same level of verbal com- 
munications skills that women do. While many of Brizendine's 
findirigs have been disputed and harshly criticized, we have no 
doubt that the average woman possesses a social intelligence 
that the average man cannot conceive of. With the knowledge 
we provide you with here, however, you will be able to un- 
derstand female communication on a whole new level, putting 
you in a category above and beyond the vast majority of men 
in the world. 

From the point of view of most women, male communication 
is extremely poor and boring. For most men, female language 
is incredibly imprecise, infuriatingly vague and, when exposed 
to it for extended periods of time, becomes extremely stressful 
for the man. The end result is that it is a rare man indeed who 
is actually able to read between the lines of female communi- 
cation. Typically, such a rare man will be a so-called "natural", 
or an experienced seducer. 



39 



Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4^ 



Because of these differences, most men and women feel a great 
deal of dissatisfaction when it comes to their communication 
with the opposite sex. While we can certainly improve in our 
communication with each other, we can never eradicate these 
differences completely because they are largely determined by 
the different brain structures of men and women. 

Most men go through life never even realizing that women 
subcommunicate. A lot of men are raised primarily by their 
mothers and they form a strong impression of women as either 
"Madonnas" or "whores," because of the strong social condi- 
tioning put into their heads by their mothers and society at 
large. There are also a group of strong alpha men who grow 
up with either a non-existent or very weak feminine side and 
for this reason they also end up with very little knowledge of 
women and the way women communicate. 

In the latter group, we find men of great strength and value, 
such as military men or very successful businessmen. Iron- 
ically, these men may simultaneously become very emascu- 
lated within their relationships with their wives. These guys 
often sense that something strange is going on but they can- 
not pinpoint what it is. Often, out of frustration, such men will 
make the mistake of either completely cutting off communica- 
tion with their partners, or perhaps even worse, taking every- 
thing their woman says at face value. 



Phenomenology of Female Suh communication 

One of the core features of female subcommunication is am- 
bivalence. One way to describe this is as "A/B Ambivalence", 
where the woman will leave open the possibility of either in- 
terpretation "A" or interpretation "B" with regards to her com- 
munication, without her taking any position either way. The 
woman may achieve this through open-ended statements, which 
leave the responsibility for interpreting the subject of commun- 
ication with the recipient, with little help in regard to it from 
the communicator. 



40 



Effect of Subcommunication on the Male Brain 



Evolutionarily, this approach to communication can be seen as 
good business for the woman, because she can protect herself 
via ambiguity while at the same time leaving the door open 
for a variety of different possible social interactions. The more 
effective a woman is at the art of subcommuniction the greater 
her social power. And as we've already mentioned, women 
achieve power in a distinctly social way. 

To see further the difference in communication styles between 
men and women, consider the way each gender tends to de- 
liver advice to friends of the same sex. For example, a mascu- 
line man will tend to give advice to his best friend regarding 
his alcohol problem, first by being silent for as long as possible, 
but then finally sitting down with his friend and saying: "Man, 
you are destroying your health, you gotta stop that drinking 
now!" without too much concern for empathy or understand- 
ing, 

A woman in the same situation is unlikely to take a direct po- 
sition about the drinking, but rather — taking an approach of 
subcommunication — she is more likely to show empathy and 
make an effort to understand her friend, in the hope that she 
will change. 

Of course, as we know, both approaches are very likely to fail 
miserably if the person has a severe drinking problem, but it 
is always good to try. The illustration is merely meant to high- 
light the different approaches to communication generally taken 
by men and women.^ 



Effect of Subcommunication on the Male Brain 

Female subcommunication has another very important role from 
the point of view of the survival of the species. It happens to 
be highly hypnotic to the male brain! 



^The authors will use this in their seductions. They will temporarily give up 
the usage of male, logical language and will begin to subcommunicate mean- 
ings to women with open-ended statements. When this happens, women tend 
to feel: "Wow! A man who can really communicate!" 



41 



4b Joseph <0> David ^ Franco A 



What has been described as romantic love by poets is actually 
— on the biological level — a strategy of nature designed to 
achieve pregnancy. A hypnotic state is basically a state of ex- 
treme concentration, where a person becomes oblivious to his 
or her surroundings while lost in thought. This can be achieved 
specifically by ambivalent stimulus coming from the female, 
whose biological purpose is to bind the male to her via a state 
of focused attention on her. Hormoiial changes connected with 
sexual attraction make this focused state an extremely power- 
ful motivator for the male. 

Therefore, awareness of a woman's ambivalent, subcommuni- 
cated style of language is key to a modern man being able to 
enjoy lasting and happy relationships. 

Being unaware of female subcommunication will tend to make 
a man weaker over time and will cause him many difficulties. 
When a man finds himself in this hypnotic state for extended 
periods of time, he is more likely to do almost anything to 
please his woman, even at the expense of his own welfare. The 
paradoxical result of this is that she will gradually lose her sex- 
ual and human interest in him. Eventually, she is likely to even 
feel contempt for him. 

Consider courting. When courting, a man who puts a woman's 
daily welfare above his own may find that the successful court- 
ship induces suspicion and jealousy in the woman. How is she 
to trust such a man, who could squander resources on a beguil- 
ing competitor, perhaps a younger woman! 

Many pathological male reactions that can be observed within 
couple relationships are in fact a desperate defense mechanism, 
employed by men who have no skills with women. These reac- 
tions are meant to avoid the hypnotic state of focused attention 
on the female. For example: 

• Violence used as an attempt to avoid the mental distress 
he suffers in connection with being faced with her sub- 
communication and ambivalence. 

• Overt contempt of the woman and of women in general, 
used for the same purpose as above. 



42 



Real-Life Experience 



• Avoiding communication and attempts to isolate himself 
emotionally. Again, used for the same purposes. 

Although a frustrated man may feel driven to employ such 
strategies as listed above, it should be fairly clear that those 
methods will prove to be ineffective in the long run. 

An experienced man is able to make the best of this situation 
by relating to the woman in a challenging way, by indicating 
to her that he is aware of her subcommunication and that he 
understands it. A man is only able to challenge a woman in 
this way if he is aware of the hypnotic effect of female language 
and is able to deal with it properly. In absence of this skill he 
will: 

• Either focus too much of his mental energy on her, and as 
a result become someone who is directed by her; Or 

• Separate himself emotionally from her by cutting off com- 
munication with her. 



Real-Life Experience 

Franco once picked up a girl on the train with this line: "My 
name is Bond, James Bond." They met up and she seemed to 
be attracted but Franco noticed some signs of discomfort in her 
when he drew physically closer to her. Her reactive statement 
was: "You should shave your beard better", while touching 
his face. At first Franco believed this was a test but it was not 
so. Later on he understood that it was actually a blueprint. A 
blueprint is a subcommunicated emotion through which the 
woman is describing something that she likes or dislikes with 
all of her heart. Franco came to the conclusion — by free as- 
sociation — shave the beard soft skin — > woman's skin 
Bingo! She likes women! 

After a few weeks they became friends and the woman re- 
vealed the truth to Franco: she was completely lesbian and ac- 
tually only would be with men in the role of a gold digger. She 



43 



A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



had been married four times and was always moving to a bet- 
ter apartment, paid for by men whom in reahty she did not 
enjoy at all. She introduced Franco to her lesbian lover, too! 
So, it was all about her subcommunicated messages, which as 
you can see, revealed a great deal about her inner personal- 
ity. Did any of her husbands understand this during their long 
marriages with her? 

It should be noted that the ability to derive such definitive con- 
clusions, as Franco did in the above example, is acquired by ap- 
plying the lessons we are teaching you, repeatedly over time. 
The good news is, the moment you start to apply these lessons 
in your everyday interactions with women, the quicker you 
will deepen your understanding of Female Subcommunication. 
In other words, only with experience will you likely be able to 
make such snap judgments with accuracy. The above example 
does not mean that women preferring smoothly-shaven men are 
bisexual or lesbian. Franco's epiphany came from understand- 
ing the subcommunication with this particular woman. 



She is Keeping her Options Open 

Given the importance of subcommunication, let's dig in and 
find out more. As you will see, using subcommunication is 
a wonderful way of keeping one's options open, establishing 
plausible deniability while signaling intent, establishing bound- 
aries, and for generally discussing any kind of topic without 
actually seeming to discuss it. While subcommunication infuri- 
ates men who haven't learned the language, make no mistake: 
women can and will exercise logic and direct speech, when it 
best suits their purpose! 

Suppose you are out on a date with a woman, and you suggest 
a quick.stop by your apartment to pick something up. Out of 
the blue she may say "OK, but we're not having sex." Most 
men would would be baffled by such a statement, especially 
if they had no previous intention of having sex anyway. How- 
ever, what the woman is subcommunicating is something com- 



44 



1 

Be that Man 



pletely different than whether or not sex will actually occur. 

Here is what's really happening: First, she is testing your re- 
sponse. If you get flustered by such a statement, she most cer- 
tainly will not consider having sex with you. If your response 
is "Yeah, so, that was pretty random, who's talking about sex 
here?" the door for sexual engagement remains open. 

Second, she is establishing a frame of interaction where she is 
taking no responsibility for the outcome. If she ends up naked 
in your bed, well, that's not her fault because she said "no sex." 
Never mind that it "just happened." Third, the next day she 
can tell anyone who asks "I specifically told him "no sex" be- 
fore I went into his apartment." 



Be that Man 

Of course, anyone well-versed in the art of subcommunication 
understands all the nuances contained in such statements, but 
generally, these are not the people that will judge her behav- 
ior. We realize that many readers find this form of communica- 
tion absolutely infuriating. Men have railed against it through 
the ages, complaining about women's deviousness and deceit- 
fulness. What these men don't realize is that you can't have 
it both ways. You need to understand that for a woman to 
promote and maintain harmony within her environment, emo- 
tional states are more important to her than physical facts. 

In other words, a woman may very well lie, or at least shade 
the truth, in order to preserve positive emotional states or pre- 
vent negative emotional states. Here is the most important 
part: even when women "lie" with their mouths, their bod- 
ies or emotions may be telling the real truth. The rare man 
that can penetrate these words and handle the truth — as the 
woman feels it — is a man who is very well-loved by women, 
indeed. 

Women will never completely disclose their language to men, 
in part because women themselves dwell in this linguistic par- 



45 



Jft Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4k 



adise mostly unconsciously. And they also do not disclose this 
language to us because they understand that a man truly versed 
in the art of subcommunication finds himself with great power 
over women. One key way for you to achieve this power is by 
cultivating the quality of discretion. 



Cultivate Discretion 

Discretion is the quality that we display as a signal to the wo- 
man that we are aware of the prevalence in society of the Ma- 
donna/whore Complex, and that we have personally dealt with 
it. You will read a great deal more about the Madonna /whore 
Complex in Chapters 16 and 17, but for now, realize that the 
Complex presents a real danger for a woman in our world. At 
the very least, the woman can sense danger from it in her sub- 
conscious mind. How do you subcommunicate to a woman 
that she is safe being sexual with you? 

Men who are enjoying many sexual partners do not need to 
brag about their conquests as if they somehow "got lucky". 
Men who want to enjoy the company of many women must first 
learn to cultivate and display the quality of discretion. Such 
men are comfortable with women and their sexuality, and at 
the same time they know when to keep their mouths shut, they 
are not disturbed by female sexual expression and at the same 
time they know how to discreetly create the circumstances that 
will allow women the freedom to express themselves. 

While he loves and enjoys sex and has no embarrassment about 
his sexual desires as a healthy man, sex is not something so 
rare and unusual for him that he is compelled to reveal private 
details to a woman's friends, or even his own friends. 



46 



Subcommunication in the Workplace 



Subcomtnunication in the Workplace 

We believe that it is perfectly possible for men and women to 
be honest and direct with each other about their sexuality and 
emotional lives, but as long as subcommunication will be the 
female's preferred means of communication in this arena, we 
believe that men who live and work in our modern society 
should learn the art of subcommunication themselves. In so- 
cial environments such as the workplace, this is particularly 
important. 

Women can freely discuss dating and issues surrounding men 
in a mixed male/ female work place using subcommunication. 
All women know that the term "hooking up" has several pos- 
sible connotations, which may or may not mean sexual inter- 
course. Surprisingly, however, not that many men really un- 
derstand this. On the contrary, men haven't had to develop the 
language of subcommunication and indirection, so men do not 
have the universal "code" that women seem to have regarding 
these topics. 

The result on the modem, mixed workplace is often devas- 
tating. Women are free to talk and gossip, but men are not. 
The law in many jurisdictions states that language that makes 
a women merely feel uncomfortable in the workplace can con- 
stitute "sexual harassment", for which there are exceedingly 
stiff penalties. Basically, women today believe they have a le- 
gal right to feel good while they are at work. Strangely enough, 
they are right. 

Men discussing women at work are usually applying male logic 
to situations that they have little experience with. This is, of 
course, a natural and normal thing for a man to do. Women 
recognize that males pooling their knowledge about individ- 
ual women will very shortly develop a collective wit that will 
be applicable to all women. That is, these men will learn very 
quickly how to strip women of their power. For this reason, 
some women — although not all — may even object strongly to 
your acquisition of this knowledge. 



47 



4 Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



Talk Like a Man 

Men should always strive to cultivate the skills necessary to 
communicate in a manly way. Masculine subcommunication 
cannot be identical to feminine subcommunication, because that 
case the man will become too effeminate. The result of this will 
be that women will lose sexual attraction for him. 

One of the aims of this book is to help you to actively improve 
the great mismatch between men and women when it comes 
to the art of communication and social intelligence. We believe 
that a man like you can acquire many of the skills that the av- 
erage female now enjoys, without having to deny your own 
sexuality and masculine identity in order to do accomplish it. 

John Gray, in his landmark book Men are From Mars, Women are 
from Venus [6], did a great job explaining how men and women 
communicate differently and how a man can effectively con- 
verse with a woman in the female language. What John Gray's 
book left out, however, was the crucial factor that a man must 
retain his masculinity in the relationship, and he cannot do so 
if he is engaging in too much feminine conversation with his 
partner over a long period of time. It is therefore vital to note 
that to be happy in your relationships with women, and in or- 
der to make them happy, you need to learn how to talk in the 
female language, and also to withdraw from that type of con- 
versation at the appropriate time. 



Practical Advice 

You should seriously strive to cultivate a state of awareness 
when in the company of women, because female ambivalence 
and subcommunication are not things to be underestimated. In 
fact, if you allow yourself to relax too much and keep yourself 
in an unaware state, you will completely miss the meaning of 
female communication. Accept the fact that it is instinctual for 
women to express themselves in this indirect way. 



48 



Practical Advice 



To be able to deal with female subcommunication you need to 
shift from a mindset where you take everything she says at face 
value, to a mindset where you interpret what she says and put 
it through a subcommunication filter, as it were. Women do 
speak directly when it serves their purpose — some women 
more than others — and this must be accounted for as well. In 
fact, subcommunication is very effective when mixed with di- 
rect language. Also, remember that female subcommunication 
often has an underlying, sexual meaningl The more a woman 
subcommunicates in your presence, the more she may be sex- 
ually attracted to you. 

In "politically-correct" countries it is common for many wo- 
men — especially those not in touch with their femininity — 
to go through phases of dating a masculine man, followed by 
a nice, more effeminate man, to be followed by another mas- 
culine man, and so on. If you want to present a challenge to a 
modern woman, you have to learn how to keep yourself on the 
edge between masculine and feminine, but with an emphasis 
towards the masculine. 

Therefore, to increase sexual and emotional arousal within a 
woman you will need to learn to shift between two identities 
in an almost schizophrenic manner. At times you will want to 
talk to women in a very masculine way: directly, succinctly and 
logically. At other times, you will want to you talk to women 
in the same manner that a female friend might do. To be able to 
use subcommunication, you will need to continuously practice 
the art, because it is not the natural mode of conversation for a 
man. 

Why you need to alternate between two styles of conversation? 
Because when it comes to the modern woman, she will alter- 
nate between preferring one style or the other, depending on 
the circumstances. 

To make a woman happy — whether in the context of a com- 
mitted relationship or in a lighter and less-committed interac- 
tion — you need to learn how to talk womanese while at the 
same time keeping your focus on your masculine attitude. If 
you leave out the art of speaking in womanese, you run the 



49 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



risk of becoming a cold, distant and boring person in her eyes. 
If you become too much of an expert in speaking womanese, 
she will no longer distinguish you from a woman and she will 
certainly lose attraction for you, whether quickly or over time. 

The described alternation between male and female talk is ac- 
tually extremely seductive to women. In seduction, anything 
which causes polarity will also be sexually stimulating. One 
basic aspect of the female psyche is the need for both stimula- 
tion and polarity. When you meet that need in a woman you 
make her happy. One of the main characteristics of today's wo- 
man is boredom, mixed with a search for emotional stimulation. 
By being the man who is able to talk womanese while at the 
same time remaining a real, masculine man, you put yourself 
far above almost all other men in her eyes. In fact, she will 
feel completely challenged when a man — who may even be a 
stereotypical computer programmer — will start to communi- 
cate with her in womanese while still leading her like a man. 

An Example 

David once worked as a contractor in the same office as a sig- 
nificantly younger woman — we'll call her "W" — who was 
also a contractor to the same client. That is, neither he nor she 
were employees. Now W was short — perhaps 5'3" — and a 
bit thick — maybe 145 pounds — but with a definite sexual 
presence about her. She definitely worked what she had to her 
maximum advantage. 

Some light banter and deep eye contact established mutual at- 
traction early on. At one point, one of her supervisors — we'll 
call him "R" — entered the room in which they were working. 
The conversation turned abruptly from discussing "work" to 
this: 

W: "Hey, R... such a jerk" (then playfully, to me) "He called me 
fat the other day." 

R: "I did not!" 

D: (playfully to her) "You're so huge." 
W: "I'm not a pound over 300." 



50 



Practical Advice 



D: (playfully to her) "You're big as a barn. At least 400 pounds." 

Now what the hell does her weight have to do with anything? 
This conversation is a total non-sequitur to the man not well- 
versed in subcommunication. But to the man fluent in wom- 
anese, this conversation is loaded with meaning. Specifically, 
she was acknowledging her attraction to David. And more im- 
portantly, this woman was indirectly, with subcommunication, 
evaluating his comfort level with her weight; whether or not 
David would judge her personally or make her feel bad in any 
way. 

Note: W was not "subcommunicating" in a conscious way. 
She had simply learned through experience with men several 
lessons: 

• Most men are judgemental about a woman's looks. 

• Most men are more worried about what other men will 
think than they are about having a good time with a wo- 
man. 

• Most men will "cop and blow," treating her with con- 
tempt after they get what they want from her. 

Also through experience, W has learned how to swiftly and 
unconsciously evaluate men. It doesn't take much for a woman 
to figure out where a man stands with respect to her looks. 



51 



I 



6 The Magic Pussy Syndrome 

The power of the p-ii-s-s-y — Best of Both Worlds, by 
Jay-Z and R. Kelly 

AGIC Pussy Syndrome (MPS) — a term coined by 
the authors — is the belief that because a woman 
has a pussy, she is entitled to special privileges at 
other people's expense. Such as: free drinks, free 
dinner, alimony, child support. The list goes on. In contrast, 
most guys we know pay for everything, and at retail prices. 

Not all women suffer from this all the time. Most women have 

a bit of it in them, at least some of the time. For example, David 

Clare recently met a woman who said she had been dating two 

guys at the same time except that she wouldn't allow them to David / busted lur 

date other women. Now this was not an otherwise bad woman, °" ^'"'^ "'-'^ "'f' 

in fact, she was a Good Girl. But she believed that because she ^""'^'"'^ "^""^ 

was a woman, she had the right to behave this way, and that 

the men she dated did not. 

In this chapter we will help you to quickly recognize the pres- 
ence of MPS in the women that you encounter. We will explain 
the origins of this mental disease and provide you with powerful 
knowledge that will enable you to counteract it. 




Recognizing MPS 

As men we gain great power by understanding and acknowledg- 
ing MPS, but at the same time, demonstrating that we refuse 
to take it seriously. This has the effect of short-circuiting the 
woman's aloofness and superior attitude. When a man shows 
that he is above a woman's MPS, she instinctively recognizes 
that she is dealing with a rare and superior male. In a healthy 
woman, this will wonderfully transform her into the pursuer 
of the man. 

It can also be said that MPS serves as a screening mechanism 
for the woman. The majority of males will simply accept the 
MPS frame from her, while only the best males will recognize 



4k Joseph <> David Q Franco 4 



the frame but not accept it. 

Your recognition of MPS can be a very effective method to elim- 
inate women from your life who will prove to be a pain-in-the- 
ass, and you can accomplish this very early on in your interac- 
tions with them. 

For example, suppose you have met an interesting and attrac- 
tive woman. You arrange for a casual excursion, perhaps a visit 
to a new gallery opening, followed by a bite to eat afterwards. 
Really simple stuff. But she arrives late to the rendezvous (her 
excuse is irrelevant). Her next actions are critical: if she makes 
it up to you in some material way (like paying your ticket), you 
can safely let the lateness pass. If instead she follows her excuse 
with a request or a demand that you (or "we") do something 
that was not on the itinerary, and she expects you to pay for 
it, then you had better watch out! You should consider such 
behavior as a major red flag. If you don't check her behavior 
right then and there, she will worsen the behavior until she 
reaches your pain threshold. You will know you've reached 
that threshold by that shriveling feeling in your scrotum.' 

If you let things get that far, what happens next will determine 
the entire course of any relationship you have with this wo- 
man. If you pitch a fit, you can now consider that she officially 
owns you. If she pitches a fit, and you supplicate in the hopes 
of calming her down, you are also officially owned. If you look 
deep into her eyes and tell her: "Hey, you know, it's been fun, 
but I gotta go" you may never hear from her again and wonder 
why.^ 

When you playfully tease a woman about her MPS, she will ei- 
ther withdraw from you, or she will transform herself into your 

'Joseph I once dated a woman who had several boyfriends on the go at the 
same time. When she discovered that a former flame of mine had contacted me, 
she became infuriated. She felt it perfectly normal for her to maintain regular 
contact with past and present lovers, but completely unacceptable for me. She 
honestly believed this! 

^Franco Finland, where I have been living now for many years, is an ex- 
tremely feminist country. Most women are used to having the average guy 
totally figured out. These women will usually withdraw completely from the 
game when they meet a guy who keeps the frame "1, male, am the Prize", even 
if they are clearly attracted to such a man. 



54 



Recognizing MPS 



pursuer. Later in this chapter, we'll give some practical advice 
on how to properly handle a woman who displays clear signs 
of MPS. But for now, let's consider the motivations of the wo- 
men whose MPS will cause them to retreat from a strong man 
who refuses to supplicate to them. In this group, let's discuss 
two sub-groups, the Low Self-Esteem (LSE) Group and the Po- 
litical Group. 

The LSE Group will naturally withdraw from interacting with 
a strong man, because they start to feel strong feelings of Low 
Self Esteem once they notice that the man is not promptly react- 
ing as a supplicant to their MPS. Because these women are so 
accustomed to men supplicating, when they meet a man who 
simply refuses to do so, they take it as a personal insult. There 
is nothing you can do to correct such women, and unless you 
enjoy pain, it is best not to consider any serious relationship 
with them. 

Any relationship started by such LSE women is a dead end in 
both directions. They will react with frustration to a man who 
does not supplicate to their MPS because they take it as a per- 
sonal offense. On the other hand, they tend to become sexually 
frigid over time with men who do supplicate to their MPS, be- 
cause the feminine part of their personality cannot derive last- 
ing satisfaction out of such a dynamic. 

The Political Group may withdraw from strong men for purely 
political reasons, even if they are sexually attracted to the man in 
question. This type of woman is very common at university 
campuses and within highly urban areas in the western world. Berkeley 
These women are very often politically liberal, and they will 
often openly reject conventional notions of physical beauty. 

Strangely enough, many women in these politically liberal en- 
vironments, especially highly-educated university women, usu- 
ally do not have much experience with masculine men at all. 
Many are prudes. And the men they are experienced with, 
are often a narrowly-defined group of men who self-identify 
as feminists. These male feminists also typically have little ex- 
perience with women, and the experiences that they do have 
are generally reinforcing of their feminist viewpoints. You can 



55 



4k Joseph <} David ^ Franco 4 



often recognize the Political Group of MPS-sufferers by their 
perennial complaint: "There are no good men left!"^ 



Origins of MPS 

Our hypothesis about the origin of the Magic Pussy Syndrome 
is that female sexual arousal is initated especially by words, 
whereas male sexual arousal is initiated by visual stimuation. 
This creates an obvious mismatch between male and female 
sexuality, such that attractive women easily become overloaded 
with approaches from males. And males usually initiate inter- 
actions with women in such a way that leaves no doubt that 
they are basing their attraction solely on visual factors, which 
is usually not sufficient to arouse a woman or to convince a 
woman that continuing the interaction will be worth her while. 
The result of this is that, over time, may women come to believe 
that they are entitled to special advantages in our society. With 
men approaching and supplicating to women all the time, and 
demanding nothing more from the woman than that she look 
good, it becomes rather easy for women to exploit natural male 
sexuality in this way. 

We believe that this mismatch between the male and female 
method of sexual approach may be created by nature with evo- 
lutionary purposes in mind. It is also possible to observe this 
type of mismatch in the animal species. 

Please keep in mind that our observations here do not con- 
stitute value judgements against women. Women who suffer 
from the Magic Pussy Syndrome are not bad women; it's just how 
they are. Instead, consider this information as a value judge- 
ment for your time. If you easily get tranced-out by women, es- 
pecially those wasting your time and money, learn how to deal 
with this now, before you find yourself deep into a relationship 
and thoroughly whipped. 



^DaviD: The 26-year old, very attractive beautician who cuts my hair 
laughs at these prigs. According to her, there are good men everywhere. 



56 



Pussy Trance 



Pussy Trance 

The corresponding effect on men who haven't come to grips 
with the Magic Pussy Syndrome can be referred to as the Pussy 
Trance. The Pussy Trance is a generalization of the term "pussy 
whipped;" the difference is that being under the spell of a Pussy 
Trance happens to men that aren't even in a sexual relationship 
with the woman. These guys treat all women as if their pussies 
are magic. On the other hand, being pussy whipped implies that 
the man is in a relationship, where the woman is figuratively 
carrying his balls around in her purse. 

Here are some indications that you may be in a Pussy Trance: 

• If you find yourself in the company of a woman, doing 
something you don't really want to do, and you aren't 
sure how you came to be doing it, you're tranced. 

• If you approach a woman you are interested in, and she 
ends up leading the discussion in directions that you don't 
want to go, you are tranced. 

• If at any time, you make excuses for an adult woman's 
bad behavior just because she is a woman, you are either 
tranced or in danger of being tranced. If this bad behav- 
ior is affecting you adversely and you are still making 
excuses for the woman, you are definitely pussy tranced. 

If you see yourself in any of the above situations, you are al- 
ready ahead of most guys, merely by the fact that you are now 
taking steps to understand what's going on. Perhaps you have 
been unproductively spending a lot of time and money dating, 
with no romance developing. Break your trance now! Start by 
putting a value on yourself, your time and your money. When 
you are with a woman who starts to push against these val- 
ues that you've set for yourself, give yourself a reality check. 
Ask yourself whether she is wasting your time and money, or 
whether the interaction or relationship is worthy of what you 
are putting into it.^ 

''David I once went to lunch with a latin woman from South America. We 



57 



J|b Joseph 0 David Franco 4 



Practical Advice 

You should recognize MPS as an integral psychological aspect 
of most women that needs to be taken into account when inter- 
acting with them or when seducing them. Biologically, /ema/es 
choose for sex. Therefore, let the woman feel as though she is has 
free reign to choose whether or not to have sex with you, with- 
out any pressure from you. If she feels the need for her ego to 
be stroked (i.e., she needs to feel as if her pussy is magic), it's no 
big deal. But never, ever allow a woman like this into a serious 
relationship with you, without first ensuring that everything 
else she brings to the table is complementary to or supportive 
of your non-sexual interests. 

In other words, let the woman choose for sex, but ensure that you, 
the man, are the one choosing her, the woman, for the relationship. 
And you must absolutely ensure that your choice is not based 
on the fact she has a pussy and she happens to be physically 
attractive. 

For you chivalrous fellows, be kind to elderly women, of course. 
An elderly woman who was raised with some manners will ap- 
preciate being treated like a lady. 

When dealing with women who insist on being treated like 
ladies, first make sure that they are acting like ladies. If they 
aren't acting like ladies, don't treat them as if they are, no mat- 
ter what they look like! If you do, you are definitely in a pussy 
trance, so stop it. 

From our experience, the man that effectively neutralizes MPS 
can have open sexual relationships with multiple women si- 
multaneously, without too much trouble. No woman in his 
harem will feel played when they have to make a conscious 
choice to engage on such a man's terms. Therefore, once you 
recognize MPS and deal with it properly, there no longer re- 



ended up discussing politics somehow. She ended up practically screaming 
about George W. Bush, Iraq, baby killers, and so on. I tried to reason with 
her. Bad move! I had been tranced out with our delightful tete-a-tete and she 
tooled me hard. It's funny now to remember that I was thinking at the time 
that I didn't want to "take advantage" of her. 



58 



Practical Advice 



mains any need to lie to women about your desires or inten- 
tions. 



59 



7 Female Archetypes 

Yiip. She was a ho... fo' sho. — Andy, in "The 40 Year 
Old Virgin" 

N this chapter we classify women with broad strokes, pick- 
ing out highlights and stereotypes of each kind of wo- 
man, and explaining the ramifications of each personality 
trait within a relationship. We also believe, from personal 
experience, that these terms "Good Girl", "Adventuress" and 
"Materialista" will be universally understood by all women of 
sufficient femininity to be attracted to normal, masculine men. 

We categorize women into three simple classes, each with Sex 
Drive and Self-Esteem attributes. These labels were chosen for 
their common-sense utility. Here we offer distilled, common- 
sense advice on dealing with women based on our extensive, 
practical experience. 

Many people hold the strong opinion that the only socially ac- 
ceptable type of woman is the Good Girl, preferably with high 
self-esteem and a low sex drive. ^ Unfortunately, women pub- 
licly exhibiting any other behavior are judged rather harshly 
by our society. 

In this chapter, we are going to teach you the basics about these 
Female Archetypes, and in the next chapter, we are going to get 
into greater detail on how to wisely choose the right women for 
your relationships. 

It is important to note that we make no value judgment against any 
woman whatsoever, either positively or negatively. The terms The 
terms "Good Girl," "Adventuress" and "Materialista" are sim- 
ply useful labels, and all women will have elements of each 
type in greater or lesser degrees. 

Our perspective is — in most cases, but not all — intended to 
supplement rather than supplant other author's experiences. 
For example, Robert Greene in The Art of Seduction [8] lists six- 
teen types of seduction "victims". The descriptive traits he 
ascribes to each type of victim are excellent characteristics to 

' Bad behavin' women need good lovin' too! 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



bear in mind when you want to build rapport with someone. 
Our taxonomy deals on a more fundamental level, and allows 
for the calibration of attraction and connection. Our types and 
Greene's types can be viewed as orthogonal, and both his and 
ours can be used for great effect in seduction at any speed, and 
especially for relationship management, which we regard as 
simply long-term seduction. 



The Adventuress 

The Adventuress engages in sexual activity to gain emotional 
validation and public attention. For example, consider the she- 
nanigans of Miss Paris Hilton, before she was incarcerated for 
violating probation. This attractive young woman is appar- 
ently driven to appear in public, even at the risk of making a 
spectacle of herself. 

Other women of the Adventuress stripe in the popular view 
include Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie and Madonna. 



The Materialista 

The Materialista is a woman who actively trades sex or atten- 
tion and affection for material "stuff." We use the term Mate- 
rialista instead of "ho" or "golddigger" to indicate the general 
phenomenum of trading sex for stuff in general, versus trading 
sex directly for money, which is prostitution. Every woman has 
some Materialista in her. The behavior is natural, a result of 
evolutionary pressure. 

Personally, we can't think of a better example of a Materialista 
than the brilliant and unique Zsa Zsa Gabon Married nine (!) 
times, to a series of important and wealthy men, culminating in 
her latest and longest running marriage to Frederic Prinz von 
Anhalt, a man recently described as an "aging German stud" in 
a late 2007 issue of Vanity Fair magazine. Interestingly enough. 



62 



The Good Girl 



Zsa Zsa's second husband, Conrad Hilton, was Paris Hilton's 
great-grandfather. 



The Good Girl 

The Good Girl is more dissociative between her sexual life and 
her presentation of herself to the outside world. In other words, 
she is more concerned about public appearances and not being 
viewed in a negative light with regards to her sexuality by her 
friends, family and society at large. In our experience. Good 
Girls are commonly interested in forming a close relationship 
with a man on the basis of love and mutual good feelings. As 
of the time of this writing, Jennifer Anniston — or at least her 
public persona that most people are familiar with — definitely 
qualifies as the USA's quintessential Good Girl. 

Just as we do not make value judgements about Adventuresses 
and Materialistas, neither do we make value judgements about 
Good Girls. In fact, the label "Good Girl" refers primarily to 
how society in general judges her outward behavior. We be- 
lieve that somewhere in the heart and mind of every Good Girl 
there is an Adventuress waiting to cut loose with the man of 
her dreams, and perhaps a Materialista who isn't adverse to 
at least the thought of "getting a good deal." And make no 
mistake. Good Girls can be just as ruthless pursuing their de- 
sires as any Adventuress or Materialista! The difference is in 
the underlying emotional motivations of each of these types of 
women. 



Sex Drive and Self Esteem 

The sex drive in humans is a powerful motivating force, in both 
men and women. Modem, western society downplays the fe- 
male sex drive, while it both derides and exaggerates male sex 
drive. In truth, both males and females exhibit a wide range 
of sexual drive, which will also vary during different periods 



63 



Jit Joseph 0 David 'v' Franco 4 



of an indivudual's life. The following terms "high drive" and 
"low drive" are not necessarily absolute, and in many cases 
should be qualified within the context of any existing relation- 
ship. One man's low-sex-drive woman may be another man's 
high-sex-drive woman. 

Self Esteem is also a crucial factor in determining both the qual- 
ity and tenor of adult relationships. Determining the woman's 
level of basic self esteem in conjunction with her level of sex 
drive — in advance of entering a romantic relationship — can 
save you a lot of time, money and heartache. 

High Sex Drive 

This category of woman is easily understood. It's important to 
realize that a woman's outward appearance, her morals, and 
her personality archetype has little direct bearing on whether 
or not she has a high sex drive, which we will denote by HD. 
Throughout this book, we will provide you with valuable in- 
formation about how to detect the level of a woman's sex drive 
and how to augment it through your own words and actions. 
For now, it is vital to recognize that female sexuality is some- 
thing beautiful and natural, and it should be appreciated and 
cherished, rather than feared or judged. 

Low Sex Drive 

Women with a lower sex drive (LD) will often place greater em- 
phasis on the raising of children rather than on the producing of 
children. It is easy to see why nature has made it necessary to 
have both HD and LD women. We have found from experi- 
ence, however, that LD women can sometimes be transformed 
into HD women, at least for a period of time. We will get into 
more detail in the following chapter, but for now consider that 
an LD woman who considers that she has her man all figured 
out will lose interest in him very fast. She will be more in- 
terested in a man who appears to be less preoccupied with sex 
and who is frequently away for long periods of time, especially 
with masculine- type missions and conquests. 



64 



Two Modern Archetypes 



High Self-Esteeni 

Women with high self-esteem (HSE) place heavy importance 
on safety for both themselves and their future offspring. When 
we say "safety", we are of course referring to physical safety. 
But we are also talking about emotional and social safety. ^ For 
almost any woman, her reputation and her standing among 
her peers is very important. However the HSE woman will be 
much less willing to accept bad behavior from you as some- 
thing normal or tolerable. An HSE woman expects and de- 
mands the best for herself. 

Lozv Self-Esteem 

People with low self-esteem (LSE) will more frequently suf- 
fer from feelings of discouragement and a lack of self-worth. 
When they receive poor treatment, they are more likely to feel 
that it is justified and deserved. When they receive good treat- 
ment, they are more likely to discount such treatment as being 
undeserved and consider the donor of such treatment to be ei- 
ther misinformed or stupid. In the next chapter we will pro- 
vide you with some simple and elegant tests that will help you 
to detect the level of self-esteem in women. 



Two Modern Archetypes 

The following paragraphs describe two types of women com- 
mon in the urban west, especially in the cosmopolitan core of 
large cities. 

The Situational Ten 

The most attractive woman within a social circle or a subcul- 
ture dominated by males is a Situational Ten. She is the woman 
who most all of the men in the circle desire, and she knows it. 

^Social Safety is one of the most important considerations for a woman 
thinking about starting a sexual relationship with a man. 



65 



Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



In some cases, such women may not be looked at twice in a 
nightclub or anywhere outside of her situational circumstance. 
But due to their intellect or athletic ability, or some other ca- 
pability to enjoy relatively-masculine endeavors, these women 
are able to achieve material success in male-dominated fields. 
These women are highly status conscious, in many cases choos- 
ing such fields with full knowledge they will have the the "pick 
of the litter" when it comes to men. Courting or seducing these 
women is hard because it is absolutely impossible to fake status 
in these fields; achievement is public knowledge. 

Any given nightclub, sporting event, or social activity will also 
have its Situational Ten. However, in these cases, the Situa- 
tional Ten is highly likely to be "hot" in the popular culture 
sense as well. 

The Eternally Single Woman 

Many modern, liberated woman, beneficiaries of the pioneer- 
ing work of early feminists, have reached material and physical 
security undreamed of by previous generations. Some of this 
progress has occurred due to gender-based affirmative action. 
Women of the current generation are encouraged to postpone 
marriage and children, to travel and see the world. These phys- 
ical and emotional explorations allow women to develop sex- 
ual and emotional sophistication previously unheard of. The 
result of this is that the modern woman suffers from rising ex- 
pectations even as she moves through repeated failures of suc- 
cessive relationships. We call such a woman the Eternally Sin- 
gle Woman (ESW). 

By the time a modern, urban, well-educated, well-read, well- 
traveled woman reaches her mid-30s, she has most likely ex- 
perienced a much wider variety of sexual experience than 90% 
of the males her age. This presents her with a problem: given 
that she is physically secure and financially self-sufficient, her 
need for a man revolves around satisfying only her sexual and 
emotional needs. Compounding this problem is that her expec- 
tations rise with each successive relationship, while her value 
for bearing children simultaneously declines. 



66 



Practical Advice 



The ESW is a creature of the modern, urban west. She typi- 
cally has a college education. She may consider herself well- 
traveled, having taken trips to exotic locations and stayed in 
luxurious hotels. She may consider herself well-read; a con- 
sumer of best-sellers. She may have a lucrative job, which she 
considers as her career. And yet she may be petrified at work 
when she is finally required to be responsible for the bottom 
line. 

The ESW most likely has a cloud of men willing — if not ea- 
ger — to invest their time with her, in exchange for very little 
return to themselves. She does not treat these men with re- 
spect, but when she needs something distasteful done, she can 
always find a man to perform the task. She is, unfortunately, 
not sexually attracted to these men. In the best case, she may 
feel sorry for these guys, but she will not have sex with them. 
Why should she, when they will do her work for free? 

As you may imagine, these women often lead very frustrat- 
ing lives. While on the one hand they enjoy material success 
and the adoration of men, on the other hand they find them- 
selves moving about freely in a world with so few "real" men. 
Wornen, just like men, are constantly being fed mixed mes- 
sages about what it means to be a "real" man or a "real" wo- 
man. There is an endless stream of men willing and able to 
buy them dinners, take them on vacations, or lend a sympa- 
thetic ear when times are rough, but hardly any men available 
to them that they find sexually appealing. Women long for an 
emotionally strong man to lead and protect them, and instead 
they find themselves surrounded by "male girlfriends"; guys 
that are sweet, kind and understanding, but who have the same 
sex(less!) appeal as any one of their girlfriends. 



Practical Advice 

Most men today are still raised with old-fashioned values based 
on chivalry. Many men haven't a clue just how much sexual ex- 
perience women have had. Their wives and girlfriends aren't 



67 



ilt Joseph <} David ^ Franco 4 



going to tell them either, lest they get tarred with a label of 
"slut" or "whore." Your review of this chapter on common fe- 
male archetypes should give you a new perspective on women 
and expand your horizons as to what is possible in the realm 
of male-female relationships. Please pay particularly close at- 
tention to the next chapter, where we will delve more deeply 
into the Female Archetypes and how to choose wisely for your 
relationships. 



68 



8 Screening for the Archetypes 

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man 
in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. 
— the brilliant Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. 

N Chapter 7 on Female Archetypes, we touched briefly on 
the distinction that can be made between an Adventuress, 
a Materialista and a Good Girl. These distinctions are 
based on emotional responses and behavior, and not by 
things like a woman's physical looks or her manner of dress- 
ing. Furthermore, these distinctions are most useful during in- 
teractions which have an element of high polarity. That is, the 
more feminine the woman's behavior, the easier it is for you to 
understand her motivations and observe how she reacts emo- 
tionally. Women with more masculine character traits tend to 
suppress their emotional expression, which reduces the effec- 
tiveness of these categories. 

The goal of this chapter is to delve further into the Archetypes, 
and to assist you in identifying particular types of women when 
you encounter them. Most men enter relationships with the 
opposite sex blindly, mistaking sexual chemistry for long-term 
compatibility. The purpose of screening is to help you to ra- 
tionally observe the principal types of women that exist in the 
world, so that you can make wise choices regarding your time, 
energy, and emotions, before you get sexually involved with any- 
one. 

Why is screening so important? Sexual intercourse produces a 
flood of chemicals in the bloodstream which, by nature, make 
it much more difficult for most people to extract themselves 
from the relationship after the fact. On the positive side, as a 
practical man you want to spend your time, energy and money 
wisely in life. Spending part of your life on a woman who turns 
out to be totally incompatible with your goals and lifestyle is 
tantamount to stealing that time, from both yourself and from 
the women who are worthy of you. Therefore, screening is a 
vital tool in your arsenal as a happy, successful modern man. 

If we have any mantra, it's this: love the woman for who and 
what she really is, not for who you wish her to be, or for who 



4 Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



society says she should be. This single piece of advice, coupled 
with the skills for recognizing types of women, will revolution- 
ize your skill in relationships with women. 

The Good Girl 

One Good Woman. What every man needs. In our model of 
the female archetypes, the Good Girl derives emotional satis- 
faction from being perceived as following socially-prescribed 
norms, especially those associated with sexual behavior. In 
short. Good Girls generally aren't promiscuous, and prefer to 
limit sexual involvement to more loving and committed rela- 
tionships. Even still, however, not all Good Girls are suitable 
for long term, loving relationships. 

Remember that the archetype label "Good Girl" is not to be 
confused with making a moral judgment abovit a woman. A 
woman in a search for a committed, monogamous relationship 
with a man can be just as ruthless as any other woman in going 
after what she wants. If you are a man of high value, she may 
very well try to mold her personality to conform to what she 
believes you are looking for in a woman, in order to secure a 
relationship with you^ This can even include outright dishon- 
esty. Therefore it is inadvisable to consider a serious, long-term 
relationship with any woman until you have the wisdom that 
comes with experience and you are an expert at the screening 
process. 

The HSE Case 

A Good Girl with healthy self-esteem (HSE) makes appropriate 
long-term relationship material for most men, especially when 
sex drives are well-matched. This latter point is crucial; An HD 
woman paired with a low or much lower-drive man is liable to 
get very cranky and restless. A woman with a low or much- 
lower sex drive may well use sex to manipulate the man in 

^as in the bait-and-switch game, which we discuss in a following chapter 



70 



The Good Girl 



the relationship. A Good Girl who is not satisfied sexually, or 
conversely, one who feels sexually pressured, is likely to get 
feelings of depression and anxiety due to such a mismatch in 
sexual drives. 

Look for the following points when screening for a Good Girl 
with high self-esteem: 

• She tends to place value on all her relationships, whether 
with her family, friends, and mates. 

• She is in touch with her feminine sexuality and her sexual 
desire. She may love sex as much as any other woman, 
but she prefers it with a man whom she is in a committed 
relationship with. 

• She is able to accept you as a man who is also a sexual 
human being. 

• She respects the masculine world without trying to be a 
man herself or act like a man. 

• She is comfortable in a wide range of social situations. 

• She will not tolerate much abuse of any kind from any- 
one, whether friends, family or mates. 

The LSE Case 

A Good Girl with low self-esteem (LSE) may be as ruthless as 
any other kind of woman, and even more dangerous, as she 
cloaks her ambition under what is otherwise socially-acceptable 
behavior. With a woman having a high libido (HD), there will 
be lots drama. Low-libido women (LD) will often use sex within 
a relationship to manipulate her man, and quite often to his 
material disadvantage. 

Low-self esteem Good Girls are not that hard to recognize. This 
woman will be the one hissing at an edgy scene in a movie. 
She will be uncomfortable in a wide range of social situations, 
preferring to spend her time in social situations with very lit- 
tle risk. She will correct her man, in public, when her opinion 



71 



J(t Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



of his actions violate what she perceives as socially acceptable. 
She will also tolerate fairly emotionally abusive situations as 
long as such are perceived by her to be more socially accept- 
able than the alternative. For example, consider how the di- 
vorce rate has risen to staggering levels once the stigma of di- 
vorce was removed through the legal expedient of "no-fault 
divorce."^ 



The Adventuress 

As mentioned in the previous chapter, these women are pri- 
marily motivated by both sexual gratification and male atten- 
tion. They are excellent candidates for women to have casual 
and /or short-term relationships with. 

However, men with sensitive hearts need to be particularly 
careful with this type of woman. It is a commonly-held myth 
in our society that men are universally able to have random 
sex with women without suffering any emotional attachment, 
and that all women require a deep emotional connection before 
being able to enjoy sex with a man. In the face of real-life expe- 
rience with Adventuresses, this myth unravels in a swift and 
shocking way for many men. 

Adventuresses typically get bored with monogamy very easily. 
Remember, they are motivated primarily by sexual excitement 
and male validation. Therefore, supplicating to such a woman, 
or trying to get her settled down into a monogamous relation- 
ship, or wishing for her to change her promiscuous ways, is 
a sure recipe for heartbreak. When a woman talks a lot about 
how much she values her freedom and not being tied down, 
pay very close attention! 

If you are ready for a casual, no-strings-attached relationship, 
however, these women can often be ideal. The proper way to 
interact with such a woman is always in a non-judgmental, non- 

^While the actual percentage is unclear, statistical studies repeatedly show 
that women initiate divorce much more often than men, ranging from 65 to 
91% of cases, depending on the source. 



72 



The Adventuress 



jealous fashion. 

You can recognize an Adventuress by observing her dating pat- 
terns. An Adventuress who is i young or inexperienced may 
have a trail of broken-hearted men behind her. She will gen- 
erally be more open to discussing sexual topics. Dating and 
courtship will cause her to get bored quickly, while proper phys- 
ical escalation will excite her. You will more readily discern the 
difference as you gain experience. 

It should be noted that Adventuresses can often have many 
Good Girl qualities, especially when it comes to their platonic 
relationships. Just be very careful that you do not confuse a 
woman's kindness and friendliness with sexual loyalty and de- 
votion. 

The HSE Case 

A woman who is an HSE Adventuress is a woman who loves 
pleasure for it's own sake. She is not bound by typical social 
conventions when it come to her sexuality. Therefore, an HSE 
Adventuress is a woman who thrives on male attention and/or 
sexual variety, but she is not doing so in a self-destructive way. 
A list of well-known HSE Adventuresses would include the 
likes of Madonna and Angelina Jolie, although both of these 
women have slowed down considerably in the last few years 
or so. 

The LSE Case 

The Adventuress is often typified by self-destructive behavior, 
therefore many Adventuress you will meet will be of the LSE 
variety. An LSE Adventuress may very well sabotage a per- 
fectly good relationship with you, by cheating for example, be- 
cause an LSE woman simply cannot accept that she deserves a 
stable, monogamous relationship with a good man. If you at- 
tempt to impose one on her she is likely to rebel. As already 
mentioned, an Adventuress also craves sexual variety and an 
LSE woman will jeopardize her health, her other relationships, 
and sometimes her physical and mental safety in order to sat- 
isfy her emotional or physical cravings. 



73 



Joseph 0 David 9 Franco ^ 



The Materialista 

Materialistas are primarily motivated by material wealth, by 
money, prestige and the power that such things bring. An in- 
experienced, tactless Materialista may easily get upset at the 
suggestion that you split the bill on dates, whereas a more so- 
phisticated Materialista may actually bait you by offering to 
pay on occasion, knowing that you will be compelled to pay 
later when it really counts.^ 

You will easily recognize such women by their conversation. Is 
she primarily interested in talking about money and the things 
money can buy? A favorite verbal technique of women is to 
present things to you in the third person, such as "My girl- 
friend is so lucky; her boyfriend just flew her to Vegas first class, 
and they are staying in the presidential suite and..." 

If you find that a woman's level of affection towards you rises 
and falls consistently with the amount of money you are spend- 
ing on her, then you can bet you have a Materialista on your 
hands. 

It is important to bear in mind that women with traits of a Ma- 
terialista are first and foremost human animals in as much need 
of love and affection as any Good Girl who is determined to 
preserve her chastity. But loving a Materialista as if she were 
a Good Girl is a recipe for disaster. If she's a Materialista, and 
you love her, love her on her terms as a Materialista, not on your 
terms as if she was a Good Girl. If you must have a Good Girl, 
go find one. 

We are confident in saying that virtually all women have a bit 
of Materialista in them. Throughout the ages, female survival 
depended on the skills of getting men into a position where 
they would provide in a material way for the women, and do 
so willingly. There is therefore no point in expressing anger 
or frustration when a woman demands that you pay for her 
drinks or food. Just realize that some women are more bent 
on extracting wealth from men than others. It is up to you as 

3 A Good Girl may also get upset, but for a different reason: the man picking 
up the tab is the socially-approved manner of courtship. 



74 



The Materialista 



a Modern Man to determine what your standards are, which 
women will enjoy a place in your life and on what terms. 

The key to handling a Materialista, or handling any women 
showing a bit of materialism in her behavior is to "pimp" her. 
That is, you must put the woman to work for you, by having 
her do little things for your benefit, at your convenience, at her 
expense. This might be cooking or cleaning for you, or run- 
ning errands to the market, or ordering items from the inter- 
net. Real-life prostitutes require a full-time, professional pimp, 
who handles the business side of her operations, and provides 
emotional support when necessary. The rest of us need only to 
recognize the symptoms of the Materialista when they emerge, 
and take immediate steps to deal with them. 

Again, a certain amount of Materialista behavior is natural and 
normal in any healthy woman, because any normal girl wants 
to get the best deal that she can. We choose to celebrate this 
fact and turn the woman's nature to our advantage. Even bet- 
ter, when in a committed relationship with such a woman, this 
behavior can be turned to mutual advantage, benefitting the 
relationship as a whole. 

The bottom line is, she needs to be working for you; not the other 
way around. You need to set and maintain a strong frame of 
you and her against the world rather than you and her against 
each other. This means you must be a man who knows how to 
lead a woman and cannot be intimidated — either by her or by 
other men.^ 



^Joseph: One night while out at a swanky place a female friend pointed out 
a well-dressed, much older man and said "He wants to buy me a drink Joseph! 
What should I do?" 1 said to tell him that you will gladly accept a drink, for 
yourself and your friend (me). This man bought us three drinks each before 
we all went our separate ways, with her and I heading back to my place. My 
friend gave the man companionship in exchange for the free drinks, and he left 
happy. She saved her more romantic affections for me. It worked well for me 
because of my non-judgmental, non jealous attitude, and my encouragement of 
the friendly exchange that took place. 



75 



^ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



The HSE Case 

HSE Materialistas can be dangerous — to your wallet, your 
pride, and your emotions — and conversely they can be a lot 
of fun if you know what you are doing. In this case, you will 
need great inner strength. If you have any tendency to buy 
a woman's favor through gifts, a Materialista is not for you. 
However, if you are steadfast in your principles and refuse to 
pay for the affections of women, and if you are completely non- 
jealous and happy for her to get her material needs met else- 
where, such a woman can learn to appreciate a modem man 
very much. Materialistas need love too, and if she has a High 
Sex Drive (HD), she will find you very appealing indeed, if you 
embody the above-mentioned qualities. 

It needs to be mentioned that a Low Sex Drive (LD) Materialis- 
tas can be particularly dangerous for a man. These women under- 
stand the male sexual drive, yet they do not share the same pas- 
sion for sex. Since they are very calculating and always angling 
for money, they are able to fake sexual arousal fairly adeptly. 
They can also withdraw sexual affection quite easily, and they 
do! It is a trap designed to make the man spend more money 
in order to revive what he mistakenly experienced as passion 
coming from the woman. 



The LSE Case 

Even though Materialistas are primarily motivated by money, a 
woman who is also LSE will be ineffective. An LSE woman has 
trouble accepting anything of true value from anyone. An LSE 
Materialista will also be virtually impossible to satisfy, because 
not only does she require more and more material treatment, as 
all Materialistas do, but she also will get less and less satisfac- 
tion from such treatment because of her LSE. In addition, she 
will "price herself" very low. Streetwalkers are very much in 
this category, having nothing other than sex to offer any man 
besides her her pimp, to whom she offers money in exchange 
for emotional support. 



76 



Practical Advice 



Practical Advice 

Remember, these categories are generalized guidelines implying no 
value judgement on any woman. We believe these female responses 
are evolutionarily derived and that they can be overridden or 
otherwise suppressed by most healthy women. 

Also keep in mind that no woman is one hundred per cent 
Good Girl, Adventuress or Materialista. People are usually a 
combination of complex traits. But these stereotypes can prove 
to be an excellent guide for you when you are making your 
dating choices. 

Our goal with this book is to help you love women for who 
they truly are, and not for who you might wish for them to 
be. Once you can accept the fact that women often come with 
very different motivations when it comes to male-female rela- 
tionships, only then will you be in a position to confidently pick 
and choose which women will be allowed space in your life, 
and in what capacity. 

Are you looking for a series of exciting, short-term relation- 
ships with women? Then, as long as you are sure you can tol- 
erate a woman's wilder side, you'll want to focus your energy 
on Adventuresses. Do you want to be a Gigolo? Then, ideally, 
Materialistas who have at least some sense of loyalty and prin- 
ciple will be your targets. Are you ready to settle down and 
start a nuclear family with children? Then the Good Girl is the 
type of woman you will want to devote your time and energy 
to. 

Above all, use this information as data-gathering for mere facts. 
Do not impose moral judgments upon women or get upset that they 
behave the way that they do. This is merely nature at work and 
also part of the effects of our modern, western culture. If you 
find you are having difficulty accepting women as they fall un- 
der these various categories, please review the chapter on the 
Madonna /whore Complex very carefully. 

Next, we will drill down into the psychological dynamics of 
women with varying levels of self-esteem. We will discuss the 



77 



X Joseph 0 David Z) Franco ^ 



different styles of interactions that you can expect with such 
women^ and help you to recognize their archetypes before you 
commit yourself to a relationship. 



78 



9 Female Self Esteem 



Every day I fight a war against a mirror 

I can't take the person staring back at me 

I'm a hazard to myself 

don't let me get me 

I'm my own worst enemy 

— Hazard to Myself by Pink 



with her self-image 



I EM ALE self-esteem is a poorly understood subject for 
most men. To properly understand this part of our 
book it is important to get acquainted with a concept 
known as "basic trust." This concept was described 
first by Milton H. Erickson, and it means that every person has Alwmjs treat a 
a more or less of a basic sense of trust, including the ability to amgruenthj 
depend on oneself as well as on others. Read this chapter care- 
fully, becavise this concept will have a tremendous impact on 
the quality and outcome of your relationships with women. It 
is crucial to detect — very early on — the level of basic trust 
of any woman that you meet, in order for you to decide which 
direction to take with her. 

In this book, we divide women into two groups in regards to 
their self-esteem: 



• HSE: women with high self-esteem 

• LSE: women with low self-esteem 



Being able to detect a woman's own notion of her self-esteem 
provides you with crucial information about how she feels about 
herself and how she views the world around her. 

As a rule of thumb, the HSE woman has a high degree of basic 
trust. She will have a basic internal certainty that she is good, 
worthy and fit as a woman, and she will have a healthy confi- 
dence in her ability to depend on both herself and other people. 

On the other hand, the LSE woman has a low degree of ba- 
sic trust. She may view herself as worthless, bad, and /or not 
useful to herself or anyone else. Unfortunately, many LSE. wo- 
men believe that they deserve to be abused by men, and may in 



4 Joseph 0 David Franco 4t 



fact consciously or unconsciously goad men into abusive acts 
against them, which only serve to reinforce their self-image. 

It is important to note that our division between HSE and LSE 
describes end-member behavior along a spectrum. Most wo- 
men have both HSE and LSE characteristics, and can display 
either or both, depending on the context of interaction that they 
find themselves in. 



Basic Trust 

There is some determinism in this feature. Modern academic 
psychology has — at least in the media — overrated the po- 
tential that psycho-therapeutic techniques have to improve a 
person's self-esteem. What happens in reality is that if you de- 
tect LSE in a woman, she may have that feature for a long, long 
time, and in many cases, forever. 

It is important to make wise choices with your time and en- 
ergy. While some people may label you as callous and uncar- 
ing for refusing to get into relationships with LSE women, it is 
the course of wisdom to realize that many unpleasant features 
Don't he Captain of such relationships will be rather permanent, in spite of your 
Save-A-Ho. best efforts to help such a woman or to show her understand- 

ing and compassion. 

The Early Frame Announcement 

Detecting a woman's self-esteem is strictly linked with a con- 
cept we have coined as the Early Frame Announcement (EFA). 
As a rule, a woman will say or do something early on in a rela- 
tionship, by which she will unwittingly reveal the degree of her 
self-esteem and also what she expects from her relationships 
with men. Therefore, it is important that you pay very close at- 
tention to what a woman does and says at the very beginning 
of any relationship. Never forget that detecting the level of her 



80 



Relationship with Sexuality 



self-esteem is crucial for you to know where to go and where 
not to go in your dealings with her. 

It is also very important to understand well the concept ol frame 
when dealing with women, or any other type of human rela- 
tionship for that matter. A frame is a psychological environ- 
ment which defines interactions and contexts. For example: 

• "Doctors are good people who help others" is one frame 

• "Doctors are sadistic people who enjoy seeing blood" is a 
different frame. 

Maybe doctors are both good and sadistic, or perhaps they are 
neither. The frames used when talking about such a topic are 
not to be confused with absolute truth on a matter; they only re- 
veal details about someone's subjective experience. Therefore, 
a frame is very often connected with one's subjective experi- 
ence. In fact, "basic trust" is also a frame which is highly sub- 
jective. People with high self-esteem might dwell on an idea 
that a terrorist may drop an atomic bomb on some town tomor- 
row or the next day. However, whether or not that happens in 
reality is another matter. 



Relationship with Sexuality 

If read correctly, the woman's EFA will determine the course 
of her behavior in your relationship together, with mathemat- 
ical precision. One of the most important features of an LSE 
woman is her inability to receive or appreciate good things. A 
woman with LSE may relate to her sexuality as something bad, 
dangerous, painful and /or sad. On the other hand, a woman 
with HSE will usually relate to her sexuality as something joy- 
ful, beautiful, interesting and/or positive. 

Take for example an EFA delivered via a statement such as, 
"I don't like to receive compliments." Such a comment from 
a woman, given early on in your interaction with her, should 
cause LSE alarm bells to start ringing in your head. It is very 



81 



J|k Joseph 0 David Z> Franco i|k 



important that you never lose sight of the fact that women are 
extremely serious about their EFAs. What this woman is quite 
clearly subcommuniating — very early on — is: "I feel that I 
do not deserve good things from you or from anyone else." 

Such a lack of basic trust will have the tendency to escalate in 
a relationship. It may start with a frame of "I do not like com- 
pliments." Later on in the relationship a woman like this will 
typically make statements like, "I do not feel comfortable with 
you. I feel you may become violent" or, "I think you are a pig 
when you want sex" or, "you do not understand my depres- 
sion", and so on. 

An important feature of the LSE woman is to introduce the 
topic of sexuality early on in the relationship, while at the same 
time being dissociative in regards to it. "Dissociative" means 
that there is not a strong, conscious connection between her 
mind and her body. For example, she may say something on 
the very first meeting such as, "I like strong men who can make 
me scream," but then refuse to have sex afterwards. 

Another important, core feature of the LSE woman is a deep 
need for figuratively castrating men ps]/chologically . In fact, their 
basic low level of self-esteem makes them see the world from a 
position of envy. On the other hand, an HSE woman views the 
world from a position of gratitude. 

Let us now take a brief look at some of the internal belief sys- 
tems of both HSE and LSE women. 



Internal Beliefs of the HSE woman 

• "I am good. I am worthy." 

• "I deserve all the good things that 1 can get." 

• "I am willing to give good things to other people and I 
know that I will still have enough for myself." 

• "Sexuality is a joyful thing." 

• "Men love me." 

• "I love men." 



82 



How LSE and HSE Women Test Men Differently 



Internal Beliefs of the LSE woman 

• "1 am bad. I am worthless." 

• "1 do not deserve good things from others." 

• "1 feel I cannot give anything positive to anyone, not even 
to myself." 

• "Sex is dirty, nasty, destructive." 

• "Men hate me." 

• "1 hate/am afraid of men." 



How LSE and HSE Women Test Men Differently 



Every woman has a basic need to test the potential and strength 
of a man early on in an interaction, as well as throughout the du- 
ration of any relationship with him. This holds true for interac- 
tions which the woman intends as short-term, and even more 
so if she has a longer-term relationship or marriage in mind. 

As we've already discussed, you can detect whether a woman 
is LSE or HSE by her EPA. You can also detect whether she is 
LSE or HSE from the way she tests you, especially early on. By 
default, an HSE woman's tests are designed to test your self- 
worth. An LSE woman's tests are directed to test how destruc- 
tive you can be. A woman tests you based on her view of the 
world. And her view of the world is determined by the level of 
her basic trust. 

For example, when a woman says something like, "My last 
boyfriend was beating me all the time," this is quite clearly an 
LSE type of test. On the other hand, if she says something like, 
"1 just love guys who interrupt me when 1 talk", with a hint 
of sarcasm, after you've made the mistake of interrupting her, 
that would be an HSE test. 

Therefore, if the woman says, "My boyfriend was beating me 
all the time," she is testing you to see if either a) You are go- 
ing to take part in her misery and become her therapist (if you 



The authors liave 
learned this lesson 
the hard way. If you 
loaiit to be nice to 
u'omen, scrcoi for 
women i/ou am be 
nice to. 



83 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4^ 



choose this route, we guarantee that i/ou will not be enjoying a 
sexual relationship with this woman.); or b) whether you are go- 
ing to beat her in the same way that her former boyfriend did, 
in which case, the sex could be really hot. 

From the LSE woman's point of view you have "value" for her 
only if you do one of the above two things. If you try to give 
her genuinely good things, she will simply not believe that this 
is possible. She will consider you to be either weak or a liar. 

On the other hand, an HSE woman, by calling you on inter- 
rupting her, is testing for whether you are dependent on her 
judgment of you for your own self esteem. If you freak out or 
get defensive, you are done. 

She is also testing you to see whether you are intelligent enough 
to understand that she values how she feels and what she says. 
You can keep interrupting her of course; but that's not really 
the issue at hand. The core purpose of her test is in fact to de- 
tect whether your level of self-esteem is at her level or above. 
In this way she can decide whether or not you are a man that 
she can feel safe with. 



Awareness of Her Own Sexuality 

A woman's awareness of her own sexuality is critically impor- 
tant. Imagine for a moment that a woman's sexual, instinctual 
world is like the motor of a car, and her awareness of that in- 
stinctual world is like the steering wheel. 

An LSE woman is usually in poor touch with her "motor", 
such that she may be under the influence of very strong sexual 
instincts and /or poor sexual instincts, but in either case, her 
awareness (driving skills) of those instincts will be quite poor. 
It is similar to a situation where a person is driving a more-or- 
less powerful Ferrari, but the driver doesn't have very much 
skill or experience with regards to driving that type of car. 

On the other hand, you can recognize an HSE woman because 
of her skillful touch on the 'steering wheel'. She knows where 



84 



LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests 



she is going and what she is doing, whether her "motor" (sex 
drive) is very powerful or not. 

The relationship of the LSE woman with her body is poor and 
for this reason she tends to be very dissociative. On the other 
hand, an HSE woman is not so dissociative. It should be noted, 
however, that dissociation is an element which is always present, 
to one degree or another, in all female sexuality. 



LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests 

You can also screen a woman for her LSE/HSE features by ob- 
serving what arouses her in the course of a seduction. We call 
these LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests. These are simple tests you 
can run on a woman to detect the level of her self-esteem, early 
on. 

The LSE Threshold Test 

We would never advocate doing this if it would not be for your 
safety. For the sake of your safety is very important that you 
know early on whether a woman is LSE or not. Please do not 
try this at home with your long-term partner! This is a test to 
be run early on in a relationship, to lest for a woman's level 
of self esteem, before you find yourself deep into a long-term 
relationship with her. 

When you meet a woman, as an early test, you can say or do 
something that is slightly-lowering to her self-esteem. For ex- 
ample, this could be giving her an order in a slightly harsher 
way than normal, or by making fun of her and then escalating 
such teasing. By doing this, you will find the level which we 
refer to as her Self-Esteem ( SE) Threshold. 

The LSE Threshold is a reaction that a woman will present 
when you run this test on her An HSE woman, for example, 
will react at a certain point with a statement like, "This is un- 
acceptable! You don't do this to me!" From this point, you can 
measure the degree of her self-esteem in a certain way. On the 



85 



4t Joseph <> David ^ Franco ^ 



other hand, if you escalate with harsher treatment on a woman 
with bad LSE, you will be able to go much further without her 
defending herself in an effective manner. Some LSE women 
will be able to tolerate very harsh treatment without present- 
ing the SE Threshold. 

A woman will stop you once you reach her threshold. If the 
woman is HSE and you like her, then it should be obvious that 
you'll want to end the test at this point. Simply acknowledge 
her objection and change the subject. 



Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 

"Eliciting Values" means to find out about the particular ab- 
stract beliefs that a woman has, which in turn produce the feel- 
ings that are important to her in a relationship. You cannot do 
this in a direct way, otherwise you will give her the impression 
that you are too much of a nice guy and hence lower her attrac- 
tion for you. For example, you would never, ever want to ask 
something direct like, "am 1 your type?"; rather, you have to 
elicit this information in an indirect way. 

Indirect simply means that you are finding out about her values 
without her noticing that you are doing so. This can be done 
by using active listening skills. Having active listening skills 
means that you put aside your own values for the moment, and 
you relax and listen carefully to what she says about her past 
relationships. If she stops or changes subject you can kindly 
redirect her with phrases such as: 

• "And?" 

• "Oh that sounds interesting! 1 can't believe it really hap- 
pened..." 

• "Amazing story! How did that happen?" 

You absolutely must elicit a woman's values in regards to one 
extremely-important thing, and that is, how she reacts to abuse. 



86 



Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 



Remember this: how a woman reacts to abuse is crucial in- 
formation that will help you to determine where she is on the 
LSE/HSE spectrum. Therefore, when you find out the history 
of her former relationships, what you especially need to look 
for is, 'has she been psychologically and/or physically abused, 
in a repetitive fashion, by her former male partners?' If she has 
been in that scenario very often, then you can be very sure that 
she is LSE. While there is absolutely no excuse for continuing to 
beat on another human being, adults also have the responsibil- 
ity to immediately and permanently remove themselves from 
unacceptable situations. 

Presenting Yourself as Free-Minded 

This is a technique to have her open up to you, so that she tells 
you what you really want to know. It is also a good test for 
HSE/LSE. 

There is a secret agreement amongst women; they talk in a 
completely free-minded way about everything amongst them- 
selves. This free-minded conversation that women have comes 
across as subcommunication when translated into the male lan- 
guage. Women keep this facet of their conversations with other 
women a secret from men, and they sometimes do this con- 
sciously and sometimes unconsciously. 

The key here is, when you first approach a woman, you should 
let her know in a subtle way that you are a free-minded indi- 
vidual. As an example, you could say something like: 

• "I can't believe how those guys made such a big deal 
about the mayor's affair. They are all adults after all." 

• "I think it is so stupid when people make such a fuss 
about sexual minorities!" 

• "1 can understand that women who are frustrated in their 
marriage sometimes will end up seeking out a more adult, 
satisfying love." 

Sooner or later, sincere comments like this from you will in- 
variably cause any woman to open up. She will start to tell you 



87 



ilt Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4t 



things she would never imagine discussing with her husband 
or boyfriend, but only with her girlfriends. 

But be careful: don't do this from the frame of the nice guy, 
who is trying to make up for his own lack of attractive qualities 
by presenting himself as the overly-sympathetic listener who 
has nothing better to do than agree with everything that comes 
out of the woman's mouth. By doing that, you will ruin the 
sexual attraction. Your goal here is not to become another one 
of her girlfriends. Instead, be sure to put some tension and 
excitement into the conversation; disagree with her on occasion 
and tease her a bit at other times. 

Testing her Level of Self-Esteem 

Once a woman is comfortable with you and convinced that you 
are a free-minded person, she will start to open up to you about 
everything; what she likes, her sexuality, her former relation- 
ships and so on. Once you know what you want to know, you 
can then test her by becoming a little bit nastier and wilder in 
your free-mindedness. In other words, become progressively 
more crude. If she is LSE, she will giggle and become even 
more attracted to you. This is because the LSE woman has very 
chaotic and non-defined borders of the Ego, and they easily let 
strangers into their sphere of personal intimacy. 

On the other hand, an HSE woman will do something to try 
to stop you, because she will begin to feel some uneasiness. 
Caution: this does not mean that the HSE woman is not free- 
minded. Instead, this usually means that her self-esteem reacts 
to your attack on her core values by defending the borders of 
her intimacy. 

The less a woman defends an attack against her personal, in- 
timate boundaries, the more she is LSE. The more a woman 
defends against such an attack, the more she is HSE, with one 
important exception: the LSE LD women. 

The Low Self-Esteem (LSE), Low Sex-Drive (LD) woman may 
seem to be defending the borders of her intimacy while you are 
becoming more crude in your speech, but she is usually doing 
this out of a fear of sexual intimacy. Such a woman lacks the 



88 



Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 



capacity to really enjoy sex, and this is not due to a healthy 
level of self-esteem on her part. Therefore, it is important to 
know about and recognize this sub-group of women. 

After you have performed this basic test of the woman's free- 
mindedness, you then must determine whether there are ele- 
ments of self-destructiveness in her. 

The Tendency towards Self-Destructiveness 

Once you gain experience with testing women for HSE/LSE, 
you will begin to notice that the HSE woman has a lot of men- 
tal space between the physical and the psychological part other 
sexuality. In other words, she behaves like a person who is con- 
stantly testing your personality, and she will take the time to 
do so without rushing into any kind of sexual action with you. 
The HSE woman can do this because of her superior awareness 
of her own sexuality. 

On the other hand, an LSE woman will seem to be in a big rush 
— once you elicit her sexuality with your seductive skills — in 
either one of two directions. In one direction, she may be in a 
hurry to deny her own sexuality, by making comments like "I 
am not that kind of a woman!" This is a distinctive trait of the 
LSE LD woman. 

Alternatively, she may be in a relative hurry to grab your male 
sexual organ and to jump all over you. This is a distinctive 
trait of the LSE HD woman. The women of this sub-group may 
introduce sexual elements early on in your interaction, even 
before any overt approach coming from you. 

HSE women may also have sex with you quite quickly, but you 
will notice that before an HSE woman does so, she will take the 
time to more carefully test your personality. Not testing your 
personality prior to having sex is almost invariably a sign of 
LSE. 

Another important feature of the HSE woman is that she will 
always test you for safety. For a healthy women, she is con- 
cerned with three primary aspects of safety: physical, psycho- 
logical, and social safety. 



89 



4k Joseph <C> David ^ Franco 4|k 



This will not be an easy one to detect; women with LSE can 
also test you for safety, but they will do so from a completely 
different perspective than HSE women. LSE women will test 
you for safety from a position of fear. LSE women who have 
deep damage to their self-esteem will also test you for abuse. It 
is very sad to say, but some LSE women will consider a man 
as a high-value prospect if he demonstrates the capability for 
abusing them. 

On the other hand, when an HSE woman tests you for safety, 
what she is after is the feeling that she can safely be with you as 
an emotional and sexual human being. She is also concerned 
with her reputation in the community and among her friends 
and family. This is deeply programmed into a woman on the 
biological level. An HSE woman understands well about the 
chance for pregnancy and of the necessity of wisely choosing a 
suitable partner before she engages in the act of sex. 

When an HSE woman tests you for safety, she will often seem 
to be acting in quite a selfish manner from your perspective as a 
man and that is certainly the case. However, the HSE woman's 
selfishness will not have destructive elements within it. Rather, 
there will be always be an aspect of looking out for her own 
emotional, physical and social well being. 



Practical Advice 

Why, therefore, should you always test a woman for her level of 
self-esteem? Because amongst all of the discernible traits of her 
personality, her self-esteem is one factor that will definitively 
influence the course of your interaction with her. This holds 
true whether the interaction be will be short-term, long-term 
or even result in a marriage. 

The issue of a woman's self-esteem is extremely important. If 
you are looking for a healthy, long-term relationship, failing to 
recognize a woman's level of self-esteem may mean years of 
problems for you, severe emotional pain, and even economic 
losses. The chances that a woman with LSE can change into 



90 



Practical Advice 



an HSE woman, without years of therapy and a strong motiva- 
tion on her part for change, are extremely, extremely low. Fur- 
thermore, the journey would be full of dangers for your own 
well being as a man. It is extremely important for you to learn 
to screen LSE women out of your life, and by doing so, make 
room in your life for HSE women. 



91 



10 Screening: HSE vs. LSE Women 

Wliat I need 

Is a pretty woman next to me 

To share the dreams that I believe 

Maybe we could start a family 

Someone who truly understands, how to treat a man 

This is what I need — / Need A Girl (Part II), by P. 

Diddy & Ginuwine 

VERYONE screens. Men and women always screen for a 
potential partner and for a relationship, and they do so 
consciously and unconsciously. On the conscious level, 
we seek to find the features in our potential partners 
that we rationally believe will suit us the best. On the uncon- 
scious level, we are motivated by the magnificent strength of 
our biological and evolutionary drives. 



Gender Differences with Screening 

With regards to unconscious screening, nature has created an 
interesting mismatch between men and women. Men are espe- 
cially driven by visual features when screening. It's important 
that you become fully conscious of that fact in order to be able 
to screen well. 

Women, on the other hand, are particularly motivated by things 
such as a man's masculine dominance, social status and per- 
sonality. 

It's easy to observe the manner in which women screen. Just 
look at any internet dating site. Women typically present a long 
shopping list of the qualities they think they want in a man. 
Men do this too, but most men will admit — if asked privately 
— that what they are really hoping for is a woman that they 
find physically attractive. 

Because of these differences in the screening process, men are 
usually completely unaware of how they present themselves to 
women. 




J|k Joseph 0 David <^ Franco 4|k 



As a man, the two most important things that you should un- 
derstand about screening are that 

1. Women are always screening you. 

2. The way you present yourself will be the determining fac- 
tor with regards to the women available to you for sexual 
relationships. 

Tied in with your more visual nature as a man, you'll notice 
that when it comes to sexual partners, you appreciate quantity. 
In reality, there are probably hundreds of women within walk- 
ing distance of you right now who you would find sufficiently 
attractive. If you're like most men, if the woman is physically 
attractive, available and not completely crazy, then you would 
be inclined to start some sort of a relationship with her. 

Women, on the other hand, tend to be more concerned with the 
quality of mates they choose. This is not to say that women are 
on average any less promiscuous than men are; it is just that 
the criteria we naturally use when selecting a mate is funda- 
mentally different from our female counterparts. 

The problem that many men face is that they will often fail 
to screen for the personality of their potential partners. This 
is what women mean when they say "men think with their 
dicks." Women are very well aware of how primitive or in- 
stinctual men can be when they screen for women. 

If the quality of your relationship is important to you, then you 
will want to avoid most situations with women who display 
too low self esteem (LSE). As we described in detail in the last 
chapter, only women with healthy self-esteem (HSE) are truly 
able to enjoy healthy relationships with other people. 

It is important to discuss some of the pitfalls you will encounter 
with the screening, and how to recognize women with LSE. Af- 
ter you've mastered this skill, you'll be free to spend your time 
and energy on the multitude of HSE women that surround you. 
For motivation, let's examine some examples of poor screening. 



94 



Poor Screening: Two Classic Examples 



Poor Screening: Two Classic Examples 

One classic situation we see over and over again is the suc- 
cessful nice guy with a high sex drive who is only able to at- 
tract Materialistas by virtue of his material wealth, or Good 
Girls who view him as a potential provider and a fixer-upper 
"project." You can often spot such a man by his preposter- 
ous lack of fashion sense (as if his mother still dressed him), 
poor posture, passive-aggressive attitude with respect to wo- 
men and relationships and generally deferential attitude to- 
wards the woman. His relationship with both the Good Girl 
and the Materialista is likely to be notable for its lack of hot 
sex, and by a substantial amount of drama. This situation oc- 
curs because he has been screening for women only based on 
his sexual drive with the Madonna stereotype present in his 
mind. (See Chapters 16 and 17 on the Madonna/whore Com- 
plex for more information on this point). 

Another classic situation is the reformed player who would like 
to settle down but can't seem to find any Good Girls. Even the 
way he walks attracts Adventuress-type chicks and screens out 
the Good Girls, without him even being aware that it is hap- 
pening. The reason for this is because the man lacks the skills 
necessary to detect aspects of a woman's personality which 
might actually qualify her as a good prospect for a more com- 
mitted relationship. 

In both these cases, these men are simply not screening women 
appropriately for what they really want, and they are suffer- 
ing because of it. As are the women with whom they become 
involved. 



More Examples of Poor Screening 

All of these examples are based wholly on real situations. 

Mom leaves Dad and the kids and runs off with the East Bay 
Rats motorcycle gang. Dad obviously didn't screen very well. 



95 



Jit Joseph 0 David 'Z> Franco 4 



He was far too attracted to the good sex she was giving to him 
and forgot to consider her personality as a factor. And given 
that he had in fact scored an Adventuress, he didn't take ad- 
vantage of this fact (wild sex, threesomes, etc.) while the taking 
was good. 

Wife leaves husband, takes the kids, the house, the car, every- 
thing. This wife either has some Materialista in her, or she is 
seriously LSE, or perhaps both. Either way, husband didn't 
screen well enough. He was letting his Madonna /whore Com- 
plex and his visual sexuality affect his judgement and he did 
not see the important factors in her personality. Sir Paul McCart- 
ney is a recent example of this. No matter what kind of woman 
Heather Mills really is, McCartney certainly didn't screen for 
the type of woman he wanted. 

Dad works hard to provide for his family, and when he comes 
home he wants some peace and quiet and happy, smiling faces 
surrounding him. Instead, his wife is constantly complaining 
about how awful things supposedly are. The man is baffled; as 
far as he can tell, they have a decent life and a healthy family. 
They should be reasonably happy, but instead, the wife is only 
able to focus on and magnify every little negative detail. While 
his wife may well be a Good Girl, she may also have low self- 
esteem and a relatively high, unfulfilled sex drive. This man 
did not screen for a calm, peaceful woman. 



What should I Screen for? 



Many men wonder about the type of woman they should screen 
for. This is the most important question, which most men will 
NOT answer truthfully. The most truthful answer is "What 
kind of woman am I capable of finding?" followed closely 
"What's available?" Most men don't have enough experience 
to even realize that asking such questions is critical, or feel guilt 
and shame for wanting to have the best relationships possible. 

The reason that so many men do not ask "What am I capable 
of?" or "What is available?" is because most men do not have 



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What should I Screen for? 



enough skills to meet a lot of women and seduce them. Instead 
of developing the skills, they settle for whatever they can get 
with their current skill set, or for what society and their peers 
deem acceptable. They reside in a world of sexual scarcity, mak- 
ing themselves much too easily available to women, whereas 
women operate from a position of sexual abundance. In other 
words, women tend to make themselves scarce so that men feel 
that they have to supplicate in order to get something from a 
woman. 

The most important quality in a woman is horn she treats you. If 
you cannot handle contentious, contrary women with a high 
sex drive, you had best screen them out. Women who have 
a high sex drive and have high self esteem will still give you 
lots of drama, to be sure, but it will be of a different nature. 
The HSE woman is giving you drama primarily as a means of 
continuously testing your strength as a man. The LSE woman, 
on the other hand, gives drama in a self-destructive and even 
vindictive and malicious fashion. 

Most men, especially when younger, screen on looks alone. 
This is nearly always a mistake. As the old saw goes, "kissin' 
don't last like cookin'." 

Hoio she treats you 

HSE women are able to love themselves and they do not en- 
gage in self-destructive behavior. She also demonstrates that 
she is capable of treating you and the other people in her life as 
well as she treats herself. 

All women — both HSE and LSE — have a natural tendency 
to seek power over their men. However, an HSE woman will 
target your heart. This means that after having tested you for 
Alpha qualities, the HSE woman will try to gain rapport with 
you and achieve some kind of ownership over your mind and 
your feelings. On the other hand, the LSE woman will mainly 
use self-destructive drama in her quest to achieve power over 
you. 

An HSE woman will demonstrate the skill to respect the bor- 
ders of your ego. When an HSE woman tries to change you 



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Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



— as all women will do to one degree or another — she will 
do so in a respectful way, from a frame of love and a sense of 
connection with you. She will often say things like, "I feel that 
we mean a lot to each other. I would love you to open up to me 
more". With an HSE woman, you will get the feeling that she 
wants to own your heart and mind, but in a non-violent way. 

Conversely, an LSE woman will often invade the borders of 
your ego with severe drama or violence. In some cases, she 
will even be unaware that you have such borders. 

An HSE woman's primary concern will be to gain rapport with 
you, while her own feelings will be of secondary concern. An 
LSE woman, on the other hand, will be continuously talking 
or complaining about how you make her feel, with little or no 
concern about gaining rapport with you. 

We are aware that with this criteria we are screening out a lot 
of women in the western world today, but we do not care; we 
are more concerned with the safety and well-being of ourselves 
and you, the reader. 

Now that you are clearly able to recognize women for their pri- 
mary attributes, you are in a position to look beyond physical 
beauty and focus on true compatibility with your goals and de- 
sires. The great news is that once you develop these skills you 
will automatically become more attractive to women in gen- 
eral. Women find men who know what they want in life to be 
highly attractive. However, LSE women will now typically dis- 
qualify themselves from a relationship with you, because they 
start to recognize that they do not deserve a relationship with 
a man of your calibre. 



How to Screen Effectively 

The most important weapon in a man's arsenal of screening 
techniques is being able to control the frame of interaction, right 
from the beginning of the relationship. This is done most eas- 
ily by "sweeping a woman off of her feet". A man that has 



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How to Screen Effectively 



the skills to meet, attract and lay a woman within a few hours 
smashes her Magic Pussy Syndrome and will have a window 
within which the choice of pursuing a relationship with the wo- 
man is at his convenience and on his terms, not hers. 

This is 180 degrees opposite the cultural norm, where women 
choose not only for sex, but also for the relationship. We believe 
that in modern, western culture, this unilateral female power is 
deadly to successful, long-term relationships. 

When we say that you should control the frame, that doesn't 
mean we want you to be a controlling, domineering jerk. It 
means we want you to know what you want and to be deter- 
mined to not accept anything less than that. 

In the long run, when a man does not know what he wants in 
a relationship, the woman will feel compelled to fill the leader- 
ship vacuum. If a feminine woman is forced to take on the role 
of leader within a relationship, she will inevitably lose attrac- 
tion and respect for the man, sooner or later. 

Eliciting Values 

Understanding a woman's value structure is critical for evalu- 
ating the potential for a successful relationship. Eliciting values 
(EV) is a very useful tool that we can borrow from the field of 
neurolinguistic programming (NLP). The idea behind EV is to 
find out what is important to a woman, and what she desires 
in life and in her relationships. 

The correct way to elicit a woman's values is to get her to talk 
about herself and her past relationships freely. This carmot be 
done if you are interrogating her in an interview style; rather it 
should flow through normal conversation. It will be helpful to 
put a woman at ease by revealing little tidbits about yourself 
at the same time, or at a minimum, displaying empathy and 
understanding for the things she is telling you. 

It is also important to be completely non-judgmental when a 
woman is revealing details about her personality. If you reveal 
your standards and moral principles too quickly, it is a surefire 
way to have the woman either clam up completely, or to try 



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Joseph 0 David Franco ^ 



to start painting an inaccurate picture of herself based on what 
she thinks you want to hear. 

With experience, you will be able to quickly determine the wo- 
man's level of self-esteem by what she reveals about her past 
and current relationships. You will want to ask yourself con- 
tinuously, is this a woman who sees the good in people un- 
der most circumstances (HSE)? Or is she someone who is con- 
stantly seeking to criticize and tear others down(LSE)? Is this 
a woman who tolerates and perpetuates physical, emotional, 
or verbal abuse (LSE)? Or is she someone who avoids abusive 
people and situations (HSE)? 

Compliance 

Once you are able to control the frame, you will quickly dis- 
cover that LSE women are incapable of following you as the 
leader of the relationship, no matter how self-assured and in 
control of yourself you are. On the other hand, HSE women 
will find it much easier to admire and respect a man who dis- 
plays such leadership qualities. 

The way to distinguish between LSE and HSE women on this 
point is by mastering a technique called compliance. If you ask 
an HSE woman to do something for you, she may test you to 
see if you are confident enough to really be asking for the thing 
that you are asking from her. And an HSE woman will likely 
reject any request to do something that she considers demean- 
ing or degrading to herself. 

An LSE woman, on the other hand, will sometimes get an- 
gry and hostile towards normal, reasonable requests and she 
will often comply with degrading or abusive demands. If you 
do not wish to abuse a woman, you can simply ask about her 
past relationships, or put hypothetical propositions to her, and 
watch carefully how she responds. 

The LSE Threshold Test 

We spoke about the LSE Threshold Test in the last chapter but 
it bears revisiting. Why? Because screening women on their 



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How to Screen Effectively 



self-esteem is so important! 

Start off by playfully joking with a woman, then move towards 
making mildly insulting comments, and go as far as you rea- 
sonably can. The point at which she objects to what you are 
saying indicates her threshold. 

If you find that you are able to say things to a woman that make 
yoii uncomfortable by saying them, and the woman is respond- 
ing either neutrally or by becoming sexually aroused, then you 
can be sure that the woman is more LSE than what your stan- 
dards for a relationship will dictate. 

Please note that under no circumstances do we advocate any 
kind of abuse in the context of a romantic relationship. The 
LSE Threshold Test is, however, an elegant mechanism for you 
to determine a woman's level of self-esteem when you first be- 
gin interacting with her. The test does not necessarily need to 
be run for very long or more than once. From there, you can de- 
cide whether you want to continue interacting in a normal way 
with the woman, or not. Furthermore, this test can be com- 
pletely playful and non-judgemental, while at the same time 
subcommunicating your standards. 

The Double Bind 

One very effective means that you can employ to detect LSE 
women is observing the degree to which they demonstrate some- 
thing called the double bind. 

The essence of a double bind is the presentation of two con- 
flicting demands, neither of which can be ignored, and which 
leave the victim torn between two options. The "options" are 
presented to the victim in such a way that whichever demand 
they try to meet, they find that the other demand cannot be met. 

"I must do it (or say it) but I can't do it (or say it)" is a typical vic- 
tim's description of the double-bind experience. For example, 
imagine trying to respond to a hostile woman, who is shouting 
at you, "I know that you don't love me!" 

Psychologists have described the double bind as a pathologi- 
cal phenomenon. However, within the context of romantic re- 



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lationships, it can also occur in situations which could be de- 
scribed as normal and to be expected. 

The positive purpose of the double bind in human sexuality 
is to act directly upon the limbic system of the brain, so as 
to create a situation of confusion, which is meant to lower a 
lover's defense mechanisms, with the purpose of increasing the 
chances of sexual intercourse. Therefore, in spite of the painful 
nature of double binds, they can actually be a sign that your 
woman is becoming sexually aroused! 

Well-adjusted people with healthy self-esteem will be able to 
get into situations involving the double bind, and back out 
again by employing normal, psychologically-healthy defense 
mechanisms. If a woman's use of double binds are rare and 
short-lived, then this is a good indication that she has high self- 
esteem. 

On the other hand, if a woman is persistently and massively 
using double binds against you, and this is not connected with 
her becoming sexually aroused, then this is a clear-cut indica- 
tion that the woman is LSE. This is because the behavior in- 
dicates that she is unable to verbalize the emotions connected 
with her sexuality in a mature, adult way. 



Practical Advice 

Much of proper screening results from having an appropriate 
self-image, and demonstrating your self-image in a way the 
effectively communicates to women what your standards are. 
The following advice will help you to naturally screen desir- 
able women into your life, reducing the amount of effort to 
screen undesirable women out. 

Being congruent, also known as "acting normal", is very at- 
tractive to women. When your internal self-image matches 
how women perceive you, that is called being congruent, and 
as a result, your attractiveness to the opposite sex increases. 
Sexual selection can then proceed. Women that aren't attracted 



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Practical Advice 



to you will simply not appear in your life. Contrast this with 
the problem of breaking up with women you became involved 
with attempting to be someone you weren't. 

Owning your own frame with sincerity is also crucial. If you 
really know and understand what it is that you want, you will 
find a large selection of women with the desire to bond with 
you, on your terms. Women in general just want to know what 
your terms are, whether you accept them as they are, and how 
likely you are to change your mind. 

Having a man who knows what he wants is very comforting 
to women, while a man who doesn't know what he wants is a 
sexual turnoff and can even be frightening, especially to HSE 
women. Again, women without an appreciation for what you 
stand for simply won't be around. 

The man who doesn't know what he wants, who cannot ex- 
press his desire to women, puts women in a position of being 
responsible for the emotional content of the relationship. This 
will only be attractive to LSE women. And not only will un- 
necessary drama ensue, but a woman carmot feel at ease with 
a man who is so unsure of himself. 

Having very high social value such that women clamor to be 
in your presence, is also something you want to cultivate care- 
fully. A-List actors fall into this category. Freaky chicks (Ad- 
venturesses), who are primarily driven by external validation 
will certainly be attracted here. But HSE women across the 
spectrum of the archetypes are certainly attracted to men who 
have high social value. In this case, you must manage all of 
your relationships very carefully. What we do is manage our 
time, and don't allow women with romantic intentions, or any- 
one else, to waste our time. 

Having a lot of money allows a man to select among a wide 
range of women with Materialista characteristics. The more 
the money, the higher quality the Materialista. Having a lot 
of money is also attractive to Adventuresses and Good Girls, 
but for different reasons. Any woman will be attracted to a 
man who displays the qualities of leadership, ambition, and 
self-reliance. HSE women will want to share the good life with 



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you, whereas LSE women, with their tendency towards self- 
destructiveness, will sooner or later start to exhibit signs that 
they are poised to damage your material interests. 



104 



11 Stages of Manipulation 

When it comes to marriage, one man is as good as the 
next. And even the least accomodating is less trouble 
than a mother — Marquise de Merteuil in "Les Li- 
aisons Dangereuses," by Choderlos De Laclos. 

E believe that manipulation is an instinctual behav- 
ior deeply rooted within female biology. Manipu- 
lation is also a learned behavior, due to one's need 
for survival. From a biological point of view there 
is not too much of a difference between biologically-rooted and 
learned behavior. In fact, from the point of view of both mod- 
em neurobiology and evolutionary psychology, behaviors re- 
peated and learned over time become deeply rooted in the neu- 
rological patterns within the brain, to the point where the be- 
havior becomes largely unconscious. As individuals are prone 
to choose behaviors which support survival, manipulation has 
certainly been selected as a desirable survival skill. 

Manipulation can be defined as the attempt to influence an- 
other person's mind to achieve a certain outcome. Manipula- 
tion is very often seen as a negative thing. We, however, are not 
judgmental about manipulation, and actually consider it a pos- 
itive feature, which has been designed to keep life continuing 
on this planet. 

In order to best manage relationships with women, the Modern 
Man should understand that there are various stages of manip- 
ulation that a woman will go through during the course of a 
relationship with a man. 

On the biological level, the female of our species is programmed 
to: 

1 . Elicit a strong sexual attraction in one or more strong males. 

2. Feel a strong sexual attraction for such males. 

3. Become impregnated by her choice of male. 

4. Have a male to provide materially for both her and her 
infant child. 




J|k Joseph <> David ^ Franco ^ 



5. Afterwards, she will subconsciously tend to operate in 
such a way so as to have her sexual attraction for tliat 
male decrease. 

6. Wash, rinse, repeat: she will tend to have more sexual 
intercourse and more children with other strong males. 

We call this process betaization, where the strong, alpha male 
is rendered beta — which means "secondary" or "subservient" 
— within the relationship, over a period of time. Quite often, 
this process occurs gradually and almost imperceptibly to both 
parties. 

Manipulation is widely used by women to achieve: 

• Safety and comfort for her and her children, with their 
survival being the primary purpose. 

• To thereby influence the man's mind in such a way that 
he will feel compelled to protect her and her children, 
especially before pregnancy, during the pregnancy and 
throughout the children's early developmental years. 

Female manipulation can be either creative or destructive, de- 
pending on the desired outcome. From the point of view of 
the man, female manipulation can be considered "good" when 
it supports life and the man's interests and "bad" when it de- 
stroys life and/ or damages the man's interests. 

Succinctly, the more manipulation is used by a woman, the 
more it becomes natural and unconscious to her. It is like learn- 
ing to play a musical instrument: at first it is difficult and one 
needs to pay conscious attention to each note being played, 
Then, as mastery is gradually achieved, manipulation becomes 
more and more unconscious. 

Behaviors are slow to develop and also slow to be unlearned. 
In the modem woman of the industrialized countries, the way 
instincts are expressed has changed slightly with time, due to 
less-demanding survival conditions. However, the influence of 
the female's primal instincts on her behavior remains evident. 



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Stages of Female Manipulation 



It is important for you to learn to recognize manipulation. In 
fact — as we discussed in Chapter 4 "Female Basic Conflict" 
— for a woman's sexuality to be satisfied, it is important that 
her manipulation attempts against her man not be too effective. 
You must learn to observe female behavior and give the right 
responses, with the goal of making her happy on the emotional 
level, as opposed to responding to manipulation attempts on a 
logical level. 

Learning to respond appropriately requires knowing the vari- 
ous stages of female manipulation. 



Stages of Female Manipulation 

A woman's attempt to own you mentally will follow certain 
incremental stages, which predictably occur with mathematical 
precision. We will now discuss each of the following stages in 
detail: 

• Testing the Male 

• Seeking Communication 

• Putting him to Work 

• Evolutionary Selfishness 

• Self-Determination 

Depending on the woman's self-esteem, there are big differ- 
ences in the way these stages will play themselves out. If a 
woman has high self-esteem (HSE), she will test you and ma- 
nipulate you in a totally different way than a woman who has 
low self-esteem (LSE). 

Testing the Male 

"Let me be a little bitch to him/' A woman knows on the in- 
stinctual level — and also on the rational level — that a man 



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Joseph 0 David Franco <|> 



can impregnate a large number of women without too many 
consequences. In our modem age of mandatory child support, 
this is not always true in practical terms, but biologically it re- 
mains the case that the female has a much higher risk and bur- 
den when it comes to pregnancy than the man does. 

A woman also knows that a weak male will not be able to pro- 
tect her or her children in any way. Imagine as a man how 
your thoughts about survival would be different if every time 
you made love to a woman you faced the possibility of carry- 
ing a baby in your belly for the next nine months, followed by 
the primary responsibility of taking care of the baby for many 
years to come. Imagine how you would feel if you knew that 
your partner could leave you at any time and impregnate other 
women and /or leave for war or for hunting. Get the picture? 
You would become much more selective in your choices of who 
to mate with. 

From this biological reality stems the deep need that a woman 
has to test the male for his physical and leadership qualities. In 
our modern society, the need to test for physical qualities and 
financial stability has become less important than the need for 
qualities such as leadership, intellectual capacity, and strength 
of personality; but that would be quickly reversed in the case 
of war. 

One thing is for sure: a woman in this stage will test the male 
for his skill of being a hunter. This will happen whether you 
are skilled in hunting animals in the grassy field or company 
shares in the business field; you can be sure that at the first 
stage of manipulation a woman will test you. 

A woman will always test a male who she is sexually attracted 
to. For a psychologically healthy woman, survival and sexual 
desire must always harmonize with each other. A woman who 
tests men only for survival benefits — such as a man's ability to 
provide — is denying her sexuality. A woman who tests men 
only for their sexual appeal, is either planning to live her life 
without men, or is being self-destructive. 



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Stages of Female Manipulation 



Seeking Communication 
"Open up to me, please." 

Once a woman has tested the male, and is relatively sure that 
he is strong enough to serve her purposes, her concern begins 
to revolve around making the man serve her exclusively. Many 
men who are relatively strong and pass the tests of the first 
stage, fail to understand the meaning of this second stage. This 
stage is extremely difficult for the average man to detect. It is 
instinctually and often unconsciously masked by the woman 
as a purely innocent attempt to "communicate" with the male. 

It is a feature of the feminine psyche to appreciate commun- 
ication above all else, but from an evolutionary point of view 
what the female of our species is really doing at this stage is us- 
ing language to befuddle her partner, which will hopefully cause 
him to serve her and her purposes. 

This stage is extremely important to the success or failure of 
couple relationships. Couple therapy fails so frequently be- 
cause it tends to disregard the real, evolutionary meaning of 
this stage. A very common pitfall for couples is when the wo- 
man starts to feel that the man is displaying an inability or un- 
willingness to "communicate properly" with the woman. Mod- 
em couples therapy almost invariably places the blame for this 
supposed lack of communication squarely on the man's shoul- 
ders. 

In the first stage, the woman has screened out the weaker males; 
the man was specifically chosen by the woman for a relation- 
ship. In this second stage, the woman acts as if she is seeking 
deeper communication with the man. A strong man will start 
to sense that an attempt is being made to weaken him, and he 
will then usually react with certain predictable behavior pat- 
terns. He may get angry or he may withdraw. Arguments that 
seem to the man to be based on nothing logical at all will often 
occur at this stage. 



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Putting Him to Work 

"Honey, please take out the trash and wash the cat, and please 
hurry!" When and if a man opens himself emotionally up to a 
woman — in the sense of what we discussed in the preceding 
subsection — from that point onwards the woman effectively 
owns the frame of the relationship. Now, the active destruction 
of attraction can begin in earnest, as she starts her attempts to 
take over aspects of the man's life which directly affect his ma- 
terial interests. For example, purchase decisions can now be 
made "jointly" which, in the cool light of rational analysis, re- 
ally are the result of the woman's manipulation attempts and 
the man's desire to maintain some semblance of peace in the 
household. 

Female Evolutionary Selfishness 

"I am never satisfied no matter what you do or how hard you 
try." This stage begins once the woman has succeeded in hav- 
ing her formerly-strong male open up to her emotionally. In 
this stage, any communication with her male partner is only 
for the purpose of deriving something useful for her and her 
children. At this stage she will exhibit a total disregard for the 
man's psychological and material interests. The man will be 
put under the power of a strong and constant psychological 
double bind, along the lines of: 

"If you don't open up to me I am not satisfied. You don't com- 
municate with me." 

simultaneous with 

"As soon as you open up to me I will use the information you 
provide in a totally selfish way for my own needs." 

Either way, the end result for the male is usually guilt, shame, 
or confusion, finally giving way to resentment and anger. As- 
suming he takes her seriously — and most men do — he will 
get caught into an ongoing psychological mechanism, which 
will make him weaker and weaker, with terribly-negative re- 
sults for her sexual attraction towards him. At this stage, he is 
no longer the strong male she admired at the beginning. 



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Stages of Female Manipulation 



Female Self-Determination 

"I am full grown, independent woman now." Of course, the 
female in the relationship never was a "little girl." In the self- 
determination stage, however, another double bind — even 
more powerful than the preceding — will be thrown at the 
male. Once he starts to seek out the emotional communication 
that she had been asking for all along, she will begin to express 
sentiments such as she is feeling oppressed, or that the man is 
boring, or that he is too nice, or that he doesn't understand her, 
and so on. Again, the usual effect of such feminine expressions 
on the man is bewilderment, shame and guilt. 

If at this point the man decides that he does not care at all 
about what she says or does, she will assert that "he is not a 
loving husband /boyfriend" or "I cannot live with him because 
he does not understand me," or "I do not feel anything for him 
anymore," or "sex without communication is a turn off"; once 
again inducing some very negative feelings within the man. 

In the Self-Determination Stage, the female expresses her re- 
sentment and dissatisfaction with the relationship. This hap- 
pens virtually without exception in the case of male partners 
who have become progressively psychologically weaker with 
time. 

Men who are able to pass through these stages without a corre- 
sponding decrease in their women's sexual attraction towards 
them are exceptionally-strong men. These men avoid becom- 
ing psychologically weaker through the process. We believe 
that such men are more the exception than the norm. It is much 
better for nature to first create attraction between a male and a 
female and soon after have it decrease. That helps to ensure 
both a safe upbringing of the offspring as well as more sexual 
interactions with other sexual partners, which in turn results in 
more offspring and a wider spreading of genetic materials. 

This is not much different from what happens with many ani- 
mal species, including species where the female kills the male 
after copulation. In the case of humans, this "killing" happens 
on the psychological level. The killing of human males by their 



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female partners is largely symbolic, but we must also take into 
account those men who take this process so seriously that they 
start to destroy their health through the abuse of alcohol or 
drugs, or start to abuse their partners, or even murder their 
partners or commit suicide. 

In other words, permanently-monogamous sexual relationships 
are not necessarily natural. They are partly a modern, social 
construct. Or, put another way, they are a social construct, the 
evolutionary purpose of which lasts for as long as Nature con- 
siders it useful. 



Manipulation End-Game 

In traditional, male-dominated societies, if the female cannot 
leave the relationship when her attraction evaporates through 
the process discussed above, the end result is often clinical de- 
pression and/ or cheating. Clinical depression occurs when her 
sexual attraction for her mate decreases or dies out completely, 
and she is prevented from having sex with other males by so- 
cial restraint. The woman in this case has to face a practically 
impossible conflict between her emotions, which demand sex- 
ual satisfaction, and her societally-restrained behavior, which 
prohibits sexual satisfaction. 

In modem, politically-correct societies, a common end result 
of the manipulation process is the woman ending the relation- 
ship, or acting in such a way that the man has no other choice 
but to end the relationship. Infidelity is very likely to happen 
in either case. 

Psychological counseling and family therapy usually fail to help 
couples in this situation because they start from the shaky as- 
sumption that exclusive committed relationships are always 
"healthy" and that having sex with different partners is "sick." 
They also fail miserably in detecting the slow and dangerous 
psychological process whereby the mind of the male is con- 
fronted with schizophrenic double messages from the female, 
which would be considered to fit the clinical definition of Bor- 



112 



Practical Advice 



derline Personality Disorder by most experienced clinicians on 
the planet. 

Usually what happens in therapy and psychological counsel- 
ing in the western world is that the male is made to be the 
scapegoat of a process which has been actively maintained by 
the female. There are some professionals who understand this 
process better than most, but they often do not have the courage 
to speak out about it. On a meta-level, what is happening with 
this social process is simply another evolutionary mechanism, 
one which allows for more pregnancies and for the upbringing 
of children in the most viable way possible. 

There is certainly a strong cultural influence at work here and 
it behooves men to understand these forces and to work hard 
to make themselves strong men who do not succumb easily to 
female manipulation. Above all, a man with children should 
start from the premise that he is an equally important and vital 
link to a child's psychological well being. There are countless 
studies which show that statistically, children do better in ev- 
ery social and psychological respect when they enjoy the equal 
influences of a healthy male and a healthy female parent. 



Practical Advice 

Although the onset, intensity and order of occurrence of each of 
these stages in the betaization process may vary from woman 
to woman, in our experience this process has occurred in every 
long-term relationship we are familiar with: ours, our friends, 
and our families, and in countless case studies that we have 
researched. In fact, this process is exactly the means by which 
women turn short-term relationships into long-term relation- 
ships. However, female manipulation is not difficult to counter 
once a man understands the process. Let's revisit each stage in 
turn. 

Testing never ends. Women test unconsciously. Testing is the 
woman's primary method for determining congruency and for 



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discerning a man's authenticity; his ability to be genuine. Test- 
ing ceases to be an issue of any significant consequence when 
the man is fully congruent — both internally and externally. 
The woman will still always test, but once a man has it together, 
he will pass the woman's tests without much effort or even re- 
alizing he is being tested. 

Since testing is so closely related to the mechanisms controlling 
sexual attraction, it is important to remember that testing never 
ends. Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within any 
romantic relationship is very important. One way we, the au- 
thors, maintain attraction with our mates is through regular, 
social interaction with other attractive females. For more infor- 
mation on why maintaining friendships with the opposite sex 
is important to your relationship, please see Chapter 19, "Male 
Qualities Attractive to Women." 



Seeking Communication is really her signal that she is suf- 
fering from emotional ambiguity. Most men view a woman's 
pronouncement of "I don't feel we are communicating" as a 
logical statement addressing the exchanging of facts — or a 
lack of such activity — between two people. It is not. It is 
an emotional statement involving her confusion and emotional 
disconnection from the relationship. 

When the woman puts the blame on the man, this is normal, for 
two reasons. For one, women habitually blame their own emo- 
tional distress on external factors, thus absolving themselves 
from responsibility. When a man happens to be the most con- 
venient "blame receptacle", then he gets the blame. The sec- 
ond reason she does this is that she is actually making a re- 
quest for masculine leadership. She wants her man to step up 
and deal with her out-of-control emotional state with mascvi- 
line strength, and without fear. 

The only important word in any such statement coming from a 
woman is "feel." It's so important that in many cases it doesn't 
matter what she feels, as long as it's any emotion stronger than 
indifference. Anything with passion will do, as long as it's fol- 
lowed up, in all cases, with the appropriate level of physical 



114 



Practical Advice 



commitment. And always make sure that intense displays of 
passion are followed by intense displays of affection. Let's be 
blunt: keep her well-sexed. 

Being Put to Work can be stopped simply by saying "no." Do 
it sometimes. Just say no! If your woman has become habitu- 
ated to your instant obedience, then refusing a request is going 
to stop her in her tracks. She will literally not know what to do. 
Lots of drama could ensue, so be prepared. 

Another way to handle her constant requests is in a spirit of 
teasing and fun. You can gently make fun of her being "bossy," 
and so forth. 

Yet another effective way to handle a woman's attempts to put 
you to work is to negotiate with her. For example, if she de- 
mands that you take the kids shopping for clothes, you can 
kindly request that she prepare a special meal while you are 
gone. While tit for tat may seem thoroughly unromantic, by 
the time a man is in this situation, we believe the romance is far 
gone anyway. There is nothing to lose, and your self-respect to 
regain. 

Best yet, be proactive and act like a leader: women want to feel use- 
ful and contribute to something meaningful. Spend some time to 
give your female counterpart meaningful work, ensuring that 
yon are the one who determines the direction of the family. You 
will find that agreeing on specific tasks becomes much easier. 
When you appreciate a good woman for her specific contri- 
bution, she will be delighted in her relationship, and feel she 
made an excellent selection in a man. 

Evolutionary Selfishness is understandable when we consi- 
der that the female's primary concern is always for her own 
well-being and that of her children, It is difficult — if not im- 
possible — for most women to feel altruistic or merciful to- 
wards a grown man. Your role as the man is to be her pro- 
tector, or to get out of her way. However, as a strong protector 
you have great value in the eyes of a healthy woman. So the 
key here is to assert your value and put a price tag on your 



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^ Joseph 0 David 9 Franco <|b 



leadership of her and the family. This means simply that you 
lead the relationship and continually give her tasks within the 
context of the relationship. 

Putting a price to your leadership also means having your own 
moral standards, whereby it's subcommunicated from the be- 
ginning and throughout the relationship that you, as a man, 
expect certain behaviors and certain types of treatment from 
the female, if she is to retain your interest in being her leader 
and protector. As we discussed in the chapters on Screening 
and Female Self-Esteem, certain women, obviously, will never 
he able to submit to male leadership, no matter how strong you 
are. 

Self-Determination This stage is a very strong signal from 
the woman that — in her mind — the relationship has ended, or 
is about to end. She is effectively telling you that she no longer 
views the two of you as a unit. As difficult as it may seem, at 
this stage you may need to be prepared to let her go. Your best 
chance to salvage the relationship may be to start right back 
at the beginning; let her know that you are equally prepared 
to leave the relationship if you are not getting the respect and 
admiration that you want and deserve. 

You never want to be in a position where you are chasing or 
begging a woman. Not only is that a pathetic position for a 
man to find himself in, but any shred of sexual attraction that 
had remained in the woman will be completely destroyed by 
such actions. 

In reality, a man can survive just about anything, including the 
ending of a cherished relationship. Therefore, consider this 
stage as the ultimate test of how much of a man you really 
are. If you fail this test, the game is over with this particular 
woman. 



116 



12 Root Causes of Conflict 



You are the lovers rock 
The rock that I cling to 
You're the one 

The one I swim to in a storm. 
Like a lover's rock. — Lover's Rock, by Sade 

OST of US have been in a relationship where, at one 
point or another, we felt Hke we were engaged in a 
battle for power with our female counterpart. Cer- 
tainly, we've all heard about such scenarios. In 
some cases the conflict can spiral into something downright 
nasty, such as verbal or physical abuse, resentment, guilt and 
shame, and finally, breakup or divorce. 

It is important to note that some friction within a relationship is 
natural and can create a lot of good sexual tension, but only if 
it is handled properly. 

In this chapter we will explain some root causes of relation- 
ship power struggles. We'll also teach you some techniques for 
managing the relationship to your mutual benefit, while help- 
ing your partner to have a lot of fun and good feelings in the 
process. The authors love women very much, and this chapter 
is about creating a positive outcome for everyone. 



Root Causes of Conflict 

In our view, there are three root causes of conflict in a relation- 
ship: 

1. Improper Screening 

2. Mishandling of Early Frame Announcements 

3. Failure to Establish Boundaries 

Failure to properly handle the above-three items is a death sen- 
tence for long-term relationships. The first two items always 




^ Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



need to be dealt with before a serious long-term relationship is 
undertaken. Setting proper boundaries is an ongoing process, 
and the man that doesn't learn to set and insist on appropriate 
boundaries is running a serious risk as well. Let's now examine 
each of these root causes of conflict in more detail. 



Improper Screening 

Millions and millions of people marry the wrong person. With- 
out a strong social fabric that binds marriages together for the 
life of the partners, while also allowing the husband and wife 
some respite from each other, life-long marriage is quickly be- 
coming a relic from an incomprehensible age. Lacking a culture 
that provides a rational mechanism for choosing a mate, how 
does a man choose a suitable wife for a prosperous and peace- 
ful life? He does so by first learning to screen women for the 
traits he finds desirable. And, just as importantly, he must form 
an understanding of the price he will pay for getting involved 
with a woman with such traits. 

For example, do you want a really hot woman? One who is 
hot now, and will be hot when she is 40? Well, do you have 
the libido to keep up with her? Or the emotional maturity to 
manage her libido for her? Can you mentally and emotionally 
handle the thought of her being constantly hit on by other men, 
every time she leaves the house? If not, then you may find 
yourself much happier with a woman a little less "hot." 

Female Integrity 

To many men, the very notion of female integrity is an oxy- 
moron of the highest caliber. Right up there with "military 
intelligence." However, we believe it's unproductive to hold 
women to the same standard of integrity as men, especially, 
in the modern world where women are not held accountable 
by society in the same way men are. A better way to come to 
grips with female integrity is to "trust the woman to act as a 
woman." 



118 



The Early Frame Announcement 



For example, consider the female view of honesty and promises. 
Have you ever heard the aphorism "A woman is only as good 
as her word?" 

Didn't think so. 

There is a double standard here. Do we need to mention that 
women will break promises with impunity, yet call a man out 
for doing the same? When a woman makes a promise, it's be- 
cause something made her feel a certain way. The reason for 
the double-standard is that when a woman makes a promise, 
this is what she actually believes to be true at the moment, 
based on her emotions. Later, when she feels differently, the 
promise is no longer valid. A promise from a man has a dif- 
ferent meaning. Rational, or masculine integrity, standing by 
one's word, is a predominantly-male concept. In addition, in 
the desire to right many oppressions against women, women 
generally have far lesser consequences to lying under the law; 
thus, lying becomes a habit. 

Summarizing, we trust a woman to act with her integrity as a 
woman, not with our notions of integrity as men. 



The Early Frame Announcement 

The Early Frame Announcement (EFA) is a verbal or some- 
times non-verbal frame that a woman establishes in her first 
interaction with a man she is attracted to. Using the EFA, the 
woman subcommunicates exactly how she will place certain 
needs of her own as absolute preconditions for the relationship 
itself to exist. Sometimes this is done consciously, sometimes 
unconsciously. You can consider a woman's EFA to be a fairly 
rigid and inflexible statement of what she demands from the 
relationship. 

Failure to detect the EFA can cost a man a lot of energy and 
possibly a lot material possessions. Therefore, understanding 
the concept of the EFA and being able to act accordingly are 
important skills for you to have. It's crucial that you can deter- 



119 



j|b Joseph 0 David Franco 4 



mine quickly — right at the beginning of an interaction with a 
new woman — whether it is wise to invest yourself into a new 
romantic relationship, or not. 

When properly applied, an understanding of the EFA can spare 
you from a lot of trouble and heartache. It's important to al- 
ways remember that, as a rule, most women will be totally 
inflexible with regards to their EFA, no matter how long the 
relationship may last. 

A mistake that men often make is that they fail to take the EFA 
seriously. The most important quality in a woman is the way she 
treats you as a man. The EFA is usually a clear and unambiguous 
signal from the woman about the way she will treat you and 
why. So pay attention to it carefully. 

Subcommunicating the EFA 

It is important to understand that relationships are very im- 
portant to women and that women have a compelling need to 
frame their relationships according to their emotional needs, 
which they reveal to us during the EFA. The EFA can also help 
us to determine what type of girl we are dealing with, as in 
Good Girl, Materialista or Adventuress, whether she is HSE or 
LSE, and in some cases, whether she is LD or HD. 

Women will establish these EFAs from the beginning in a very 
sweet and subcommunicative way. They may not be direct. 
Few women are willing to expose themselves as Materialistas 
by bluntly stating "diamonds = sex," or as Adventuresses by 
flatly saying something like, "I party with the fastest crowd I 
can find." Consider the EFA like a "my way or the highway" 
frame, delivered in a sweet-and-silent, feminine way. 

Accepting an EFA from a woman is a tacit admission that she 
has chosen you for a relationship. In extreme cases, she may 
demand not only very specific terms and behaviors from you, 
but she will predicate sexual availability on her EFA. In our 
experience, this is unworkable in this age of no-fault divorce. 
Even if not married, this makes it easier for her to break up on 
a pretext once whatever attraction there was dissipates, ratio- 
nalizing with "The marriage wouldn't have worked anyway." 



120 



The Early Frame Announcement 



It cannot be emphasized too much that the EFA is something 
that all men should learn to listen for very carefully. In express- 
ing her EFA, the woman is giving to the man a clear but sub- 
communicated message of her most important needs within 
the context of a relationship. It is vital to note that a woman will 
always put the needs that she expresses with her EFA above the 
man's needs. These EFA-expressed needs of hers are even more 
important to her than the man himself! 

Detecting a Woman's EFA 

Have you ever been on a first date with a woman and she starts 
prattling on about apparently random aspects of her personal- 
ity or lifestyle? For example, she may say something like: "I 
am generous to a fault", and yet expect you to pick up the tab. 
Such incongruity preys heavily on the mind of most men, who 
don't understand that the women has just started dictating the 
terms of power in any forthcoming relationship, she has made 
an Early Frame Announcement (EFA), 

The man that allows a woman to establish the entire frame of 
the relationship in such a manner, will most likely find that 
his needs come far, far behind the "needs of the relationship," 
which means, her needs. Worse, he will wonder "What the hell 
is happening?" as he feels in his guts that his masculine power 
is evaporating. Ever notice how when a woman says "We", 
your testicles seem to shrink? 

Think for a moment about her statement, "generous to a fault." 
To whom is her generosity extended and why? How could any- 
one's genuinely-offered generosity be faulted? In this particu- 
lar case, what she is subcommunicating here is "I, the woman, 
am going to do nice things, like arranging flowers for you, the 
man." Notice what happens if the man remarks that flowers 
aren't really his cup of tea. Because the woman established this 
martyr-like frame early on, she now has a mechanism for dis- 
placing all the responsibility for her bad feelings onto the man: 
"He doesn't appreciate anything I do." And she will use this 
like a whip to subjugate the male. We call this behavior "be- 
taization," a process we believe is evolutionarily driven, inex- 



121 



Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



orable, and largely unconscious. 

The ramifications of unconditionally accepting a woman's EFA 
are many and varied, but all lead to the same end: the subju- 
gated male. This is ultimately an unhappy result for the vast 
majority of men and women in relationships. (We don't speak 
for — or judge — those happy couples in fully role-reversed 
relationship where the woman dominates a submissive man.) 
From the current example, a woman who is "generous to a 
fault" will shower her man with unwanted gifts and attention, 
while using guilt and shame to manipulate his behavior. 

Some Examples of the EFA 

"My former boyfriend was aggressive and he abused me." 

Translation: "I will be horny for you and appreciate you only if 
you will abuse me in the relationship." 

Now, many will object to the translation shown above and say 
that we are being misogynistic, or worse. Perhaps the woman 
is stating that she unwittingly became involved with an abu- 
sive man and no longer wishes to have relationships with such 
a man. 

Consider, please, the well-known psychological tenet that in- 
dicates we are attracted to certain types of people for a reason. 
People tend to repeat the same types of relationships over and 
over again in their lives. A woman may consciously feel she 
needs to stay away from abusive men and she may even know 
that these types of relationships are not good for her. But the 
fact remains that she accepted — and on some level enjoyed — 
a sexual relationship with a man of this nature. 

We suggest that there is no way a woman would enter and re- 
main in a sexual relationship with a man whom she does not 
feel a strong sexual attraction for, especially when there are as- 
pects of that relationship which are clearly unpleasant. Sexual 
attraction is the core of a sexual relationship, and with her EFA, 
the woman is clearly telling you what type of men she gets 
sexual with, or, what personality she will eventually subcons- 
ciously try to extract from the men she gets sexual with. 



122 



The Early Frame Announcement 



In the translation shown above, many men have reported that 
this is precisely what happens when they find themselves in a 
relationship with a woman who has previously been in several 
abusive relationships. There will come a time when she will 
seem to be trying very hard to provoke a violent reaction from 
him. She may not be doing this consciously, but now you un- 
derstand why this happens. The important point is that it is far 
easier to know and deal with this at the outset of a relationship, 
once the EFA has been delivered, than it will be later once you 
have already enjoyed sexual relations with her for a time. 

"I like men who know what they want and take charge." 
Translation: "I will relax and put all the responsibility for my 
life upon you, as soon as we start our relationship." 

This kind of woman can be delightful to be around. Just be 
aware that she may also be extremely passive-aggressive, and 
perhaps depressive as well. 

"I love jewels... they make me so happy!" 
Translation: "In our relationship, I will demand material pos- 
sessions from you in exchange for love and sex." 

The classic Materialista. You've been warned. 

"I often like to go dancing late at night. I don't understand peo- 
ple who like to sit on the couch and watch television." 
Translation: "1 want to have fun in any relationship and be out 
late at night, either with you, or without you. You can expect 
that I will frequently come home drunk from the club." 

Warning: if you don't know how to handle a woman like this, 
you're asking for trouble! 

"I just love to spend my time with my girlfriends after work. It is 
so refreshing to chat with them." 

Translation: "I only want to have fun while I am with you. 
Don't even think to stop me from doing that when we are in 
a relationship together." 

"I need my space in a relationship." 

Translation: "I am the most important person in this relation- 
ship and you will have to practically beg me to get any affection 
or sex." 



123 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ♦ 



Be wary of attempting any sort of long-term relationship with 
a woman stating this EFA. An acquaintance of David's has been 
trying to date one of these "socially responsible" women, some- 
one who has volunteered for service in a primitive nation half- 
way a around the world. Of course, she needed her space. His 
acquaintance finally wised up after several months and went 
out and scored some one-night stands at a local hotspot. He 
rightly figured he was being used as her backup boyfriend, 
in case she wasn't able to find someone of a more socially- 
conscious stripe during her service. Her later response went 
something like: "Well, I didn't think you actually would date 
other women!" That was a gross insult to his masculinity, and 
clearly shows her actual opinion of him: lovable loser, boy- 
friend of last resort, etc. 

On the other hand, women stating this frame can make excel- 
lent partners for friends with benefits (FB) relationships. Which, 
in fact may be what they are actually looking for in the first 
place. Such women may possibly be married, or have a "real" 
boyfriend elsewhere. Who knows? Who cares? Enjoy this kind 
of woman for who she is and do not trouble yourself with in- 
vesting too much of your time and energy into her. When she 
wants more from the relationship, be assured, she will let you 
know. 



Setting Proper Boundaries 

It is vitally important that you know what you want out of your 
life and what you expect from your relationships with women. 
You should not allow any feeling of neediness or desperation 
for a relationship to interfere with recognizing a woman's EFA 
and making it clear — at least to yourself — that your bound- 
aries will not be violated. 

It's important to realize that every human being is unique, and 
what is perfectly acceptable female behavior to one man may 
be unacceptable to another man. The point of learning to rec- 
ognize a woman's EFA is not to judge her or think badly of 



124 



Practical Advice 



her, but to make good judgments for your own time and en- 
ergy. Therefore, one of the keys to maintaining power in your 
relationships is knowing what you want from women. 

Given that there are literally billions of women on our planet, 
and probably millions within driving distance of where you 
live, there is simply no reason to accept bad behavior from the 
women you choose to invest your time and energy — and per- 
haps money — into relationships with. 

It's important that a woman understands from the outset that 
you are a man who knows what his core values are in life and 
cannot be swayed from them. We are not talking about being 
intransigent or having an inability to negotiate or compromise 
in general, however, there should be certain principles in your 
life that you rarely violate, if ever. Let's say, for example, that 
you've decided not to do drugs. It would be completely inap- 
propriate for you to violate this principle in an effort to appease 
your wife or girlfriend, in the vain hope of placating her. 

To same extent, if you've made certain hobbies or friendships 
to be important parts of your life, you should never start to re- 
treat from these things if your woman starts to give you grief 
about them. You might think that — when your woman is com- 
plaining about your friend Bobby — that she really wants you 
to curtail or eliminate your friendship with him, but more than 
likely, she is subconsciously testing your inner resolve, to determine 
whether you are a man who can be swayed by a woman's emo- 
tional manipulation, or not. This is counterintuitive but crucial! 
Making the wrong choices when it comes to your boundaries 
and your woman's attempts to push back on them can result in 
a loss of sexual attraction and increased demands from her. 



Practical Advice 



The easiest way to preempt a women's EFA is by simply being 
her Priiice right from the start. Sweep her right off her feet. 
If she has chosen you for sexual engagement — and choos- 
ing for sexual engagement is the woman's prerogative — then 



125 



Jl» Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4^ 



you should take her there so fast that she is powerless to re- 
sist. Make her weak in the knees. Let her feel herself toppling 
into you. Give her an out-of-body experience, a seduction she 
can brag about to her friends: "I had no choice, I couldn't help 
Tliis is heavil]! field it." If you don't have such seduction skills, acquire them. It's 
tested advice. much less expensive to spend a couple of years and few thou- 

sand dollars developing seduction skills than it is to be married 
for years in an unsatisfying marriage, especially if the marriage 
eventually fails. ^ If you plan on being married one day, or are 
already married, or still married, as the case may be, learning 
real seduction skills will pay off. Just because Dear Wife is mar- 
ried doesn't mean she doesn't want to be seduced. Think of 
it the other way around: just because you're married doesn't 
mean you don't want a blow job. 

Lacking a memorable seduction to kick start a relationship, the 
most important thing for establishing harmonious relationships 
with women is to use the EFA proactively. Set boundaries for 
both her and the relationship directly, whenever appropriate. 
Screen her behavior for general compliance. Louis and Cope- 
land [9] refer to the entire suite of these activities as "managing 
[her] relationship expectations." The more intimate the rela- 
tionship, the more the woman needs to earn her role in that 
relationship in order to be "happy. No one values anything they 
get for free. When you price-tag your time and energy in this 
way, you are actually giving the woman a gift that most men 
are incapable of giving. 



'Franco seduces his; wife on a regular basis. David Clare seduces his girl- 
friend at least several times a month. Mr. South, well, Mr. South is just one of 
those kinds of guys. 



126 



13 Female Manipulation 

The man is the head of the household, and the woman is 
the neck — Rev. Jerry Falwell 

OMEN MANIPULATE. This is sure as the sun rising 
in the east. Manipulation occurs because of infe- 
rior physical strength and centuries of male dom- 
ination; it's women's source of power and they 
are generally very good at it. It helps them to feel like they are 
on more of an equal footing with men. Manipulation is largely 
subconscious; women saw their mothers doing it, too. 

As noted previously, we do not make a judgement call about 
the moral content of manipulation, other than to say that ma- 
nipulation is good when it furthers a relationship in a positive 
way, and bad when it is destructive to either partner in the re- 
lationship, or to the children within the structure of a family. 

In this chapter, we describe many forms of manipulation em- 
ployed by females, including manipulation that we have not 
seen described elsewhere. Along with our descriptions, we 
provide examples and suggestions for countering manipula- 
tion as it occurs. 



Double Bind 

The emotional Double Bind is one of the primary means used 
by females to manipulate males. It's a powerful psychological 
mechanism by which the female of our species commonly binds 
the mind of the male so as to have him invest his energy into 
her, with the ultimate purpose of procreation and the safe up- 
bringing of her children. The primary effect of the Double Bind 
on a man's mind is to have him puzzled. A man will naturally 
try to solve any puzzle that is presented to him, and particu- 
larly if it involves a female that he is sexually attracted to. By 
so doing, he invests more and more of his psychological energy 
into the particular female. Another way to describe the effect 
of the Double Bind on the male mind is to induce "paralysis of 




X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco <|t 



analysis". In cruder terms, you can also think of the colloquial- 
ism, "damned if you do, damned if you don't," when it comes 
to the Double Bind. 

Think, for example, of the following words, dreaded by men 
everywhere: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The correct, 
logical answer is probably yes, it does make her look fat; oth- 
erwise, she wouldn't be asking. If it does make her look fat, 
stating the fact insults her, but declaring that it doesn't make 
her look fat exposes you as a liar. Now you're in trouble; you're 
damned either way. No worries, we'll revisit this situation later 
in the chapter.^ 

Description of the Double Bind 

The Double Bind concept was first introduced to the scientific 
world by Gregory Bateson (9 May 1904-4 July 1980). Bateson 
was a British anthropologist, social scientist, linguist, and cy- 
berneticist whose work intersected that of many other fields, 
including psychiatry. Bateson described the Double Bind as 
a communication paradox, first observed in families with a 
schizophrenic member. A true Double Bind requires several 
conditions to be met: 

1 . The victim of the Double Bind receives contradictory in- 
junctions, or emotional messages on different levels of 
communication (for example, love is expressed by words, 
while hate or detachment is expressed by nonverbal be- 
havior; or a child is encouraged to speak freely, but criti- 
cised or silenced whenever he or she actually does so). 

2. No meta-communication is made possible; for example, 
it is not permissible to ask which of the two messages 
is valid or to describe the communication as making no 
sense. 

3. The victim caimot leave the communication field. 

'Joseph: A cocky thing that I sometimes like to say in this situation is, "no 
honey, the dress doesn't make you look fat, your/af makes you look fat!" All 
the while, I will escalate the physical component of the interaction. This is a 
high-risk, high-gain move. 



128 



Double Bind 



4. Failing to fulfill the contradictory injunctions is punished, 
for example by the withdrawal of love. 

Ati Example of a Double Bind in Action 

A woman will often say — in a dramatic and emotional man- 
ner — something along the lines of, "you don't understand my 
feelings!" 

If the male qualifies himself to her and tries to understand why 
she would say such a thing, then she will invariably keep on 
repeating the frame: "You don't understand my feelings". She 
will do so in many different ways, so that the man will feel 
compelled to put more and more of his mental energy into her. 

On the other hand, if the male does not qualify himself to her, 
she may repeat, over and over, something like: "You see, I told 
you, you do not understand my feelings!" 

As Bateson describes, what will happen in such a case will be 
as follows: 

1. Contradictory injunctions. No matter what the man says 
within the woman's frame of "understanding emotions," 
he loses. In fact, his attempt to even engage her on the 
topic in a logical manner demonstrates to the her he lacks 
fundamental emotional skills. 

2. No meta-communication possible. Meta-communication 
is the psychological skill of analyzing and discussing dif- 
ferent models of communication used between individ- 
uals. This skill is usually taken for granted among psy- 
chologically healthy adults, but as the woman shuts this 
possibility off from the male, he will face her Double Bind 
without any chance of discussing its content with her. 

3. The victim (feels he) cannot leave the communication field. 
This is because the Double Bind causes the victim to in- 
vest ever-increasing amounts of psychological energy into 
the person delivering the Double Bind. 

When the Double Bind is used within the context of a ro- 
mantic relationship, it assumes important biological and 



129 



Joseph <C> David 9 Franco 4 



physical aspects. Human males are strongly driven to- 
wards the female by both visual sexual attraction and the 
need for affection. Therefore, when a woman uses a Dou- 
ble Bind, the man is not usually motivated to withdraw; 
instead, he often becomes motivated to invest even more 
energy into the relationship. 

4. Failing to fulfill the contradictory injunctions is punished, 
for example by the withdrawal of love. This is counter- 
intuitive. 

Once a woman has caused a man to invest his psycho- 
logical energy into her by means of the Double Bind, he 
is now in a very vulnerable position. She can now easily 
make the man do whatever she wants, and she can pun- 
ish non-compliance with the withdrawal of her affection 
and sex. 

In the long run, allowing Double Binds to proliferate within a 
relationship is enormously destructive. Failure to understand 
and properly handle double bind manipulation can have an 
extremely-destructive effect on male self-esteem. Repeated use 
of the Double Bind by the female becomes a lose/lose situa- 
tion for both parties: he loses his self-esteem, while she loses 
respect for him. Over time, a woman can become completely 
demotivated to be altruistic to the man in any way, because by 
dominating the man's mind, he progressively loses any evolu- 
tionary value he may have had in her eyes. 

What follows are more examples of Double Binds: 

"I need a man who is comfortable tall<ing with me, who is able 
to express his feelings" 

together with 

"Men who talk too much are wussies." 

"I don't like really muscular men, they are usually too egotisti- 
cal" 

together with 

"A man without big muscles is surely a wussy." 



130 



Double Bind 



"I want a man who knows how to lead me and make me feel 
secure" 

together with 

"I want a man who respects my freedom and does not try to 
boss me around." 

"I go only go out with a certain type of man..." 
together with 

"unless I'm in love, then all bets are off." 

By deUvering such contradictory messages, a woman intends 
to have the man invest his energy into arguing with her about 
the content of what she said and then, following the pattern 
of the Double Bind, she will try to induce guilt and anxiety in 
the man. Note that each of the messages above simply reflect 
the woman's feelings at the particular time she was talking. 
Keeping that in mind goes a long way towards being able to 
handle the logical contradictions inherent in Double Binds.^ 

Practical Advice: Breaking the Double Bind 

There is a very effective way to negate the effect of the Double 
Bind. It is not nice, fair or democratic, but it is the only method 
that works consistently. 

The rule is that you must recognize that every Double Bind 
has some specific content. Then, you must refuse to buy into 
frame set by the content. For example, as in the examples listed 
above, the content could "listening/not listening to the wo- 
man" or "having/not having muscles". You must, therefore, re- 
ject the content itself. For example: 

Woman: "You never share your emotions with me!" 
Franco: "Yeah. So scratch my back please!" 

Notice that the above conversation sounds exactly like an inter- 
action which might occur between two schizophrenics. Here, 

^Remember: the vast majority of women manipulate unconsciously, and 
without malice. Be the man that can look past the double bind, seeing it as an 
expression of some underlying emotion the woman may not be comfortable 
discussing, or may not even be aware of. 



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j|l Joseph 0 David P Franco <|> 



Franco simply does not buy into the frame of tfie Double Bind. 
At this point, women will divide themselves into one of three 
groups: 

1. Some women will react to the man's adept handling of 
the Double Bind with increased sexual desire. 

2. Women who are for one reason or another iinconsciotisly 
suppressing their sexual receptiveness, and especially if 
they are intensely seeking a Provider, will simply cut their 
interaction with the man at this point. 

3. Women who are consciously trying to suppress their sex- 
ual attraction — perhaps because of political ideology or 
because they are seeking to extract money from the man 
— will either change their attitude and become friends 
with the man, or cut off their interaction with the man. 

As a man, this is exactly what you want! You want sexually 
receptive females to stick around, and you want the sexually 
non-receptive females to either disappear or simply become 
your platonic friend. 

Breaking a Double Bind requires taking the frame of interaction 
back from the woman, and then emotionally leading her away 
from the arena of conflict. 

Another effective way to do this is to not get upset but to accept 
her emotionally-driven assertion, then use male logic in an im- 
pudent way. If this produces a sharp emotional reaction in the 
woman, then escalate sexually, if logistically possible and if you 
so desire. Actually, it is highly impudent to escalate sexually at 
a seemingly inappropriate time, and that can often work very 
well. Once the woman's mind turns to sex, the Double Bind 
becomes irrelevant. Continuing with our opening example: 

Woman: Does this dress make me look fat? 

David Clare: Yeah, a big fat butt, that's what I like, gonna get 

me some big fat butt (pets her butt). 

^Note well: this works for David Clare because he likes his woman's butt 
just the way it is, something she can feel in his words and touch. 



132 



AB Indecision 



AB Indecision 

AB Indecision is one way a woman will test a man on his lead- 
ership skills. She can also use this as a signal to him that she 
is "officially" turning over control to him, provided he is man 
enough to take it. This situation comes up when a woman feels 
insecure about a man's ability to lead. Here is what it sounds 
Hke: 

Wife: Let's go out to eat. 

Man: Sure, where would you like to go? 

Wife: Oh, I don't know. 

Man: (A) How about seafood? 

Wife: No... too many calories... (whine whine) 

Man: (B) Ok, we'll go to a salad bar. 

Wife: (Indecision) Ooohhh... I just went there a few days ago 
and some "thing" happened that made me feel bad (she blames 
the environment for her emotions). 

Man: (Starting to lose patience... wife won't tell him what she 
wants.) Well just tell me what you want! 
Wife: Well fine! If you're going to act like that, I don't want to go 
out anymore. 

If you recognize yourself here, you know that drama will now 
ensue, for no discernible reason. Bad feelings will develop, old 
wounds will be reopened, and in the worst case, incidents like 
this can trigger the resumption of huge conflicts. 

Let's try this again. 

Wife: Let's go out to eat. 

Man: Sure, where would you like to go? 

Wife: Oh, I don't know. 

Man: (A) How about seafood? 

Wife: No too many calories. 

Man: (B) Ok, we'll go to a salad bar. 

Wife: (Indecision) Ooohhh... I just went there a few days ago 
and some thing happened that made me feel bad. 
Man: Well, I'm hungry, and I'm going to get some pizza. You're 
welcome to join me, or not, but I am leaving now (grabs coat). 



133 



Joseph <> David 9 Franco 4^ 



Now, it is absolutely critical for this man to go get some pizza. 
She will probably — at the last minute — grab her coat and go 
with you. If she doesn't, do not bluff! Leave her at home to sulk. 
Bring her back a piece of pizza. If she apologizes, you are on the 
right track. If she spurns it, simply throw it away and ignore 
her. She will probably ask later where it is; tell her you threw it 
in the garbage, and go to get it for her out of the garbage. It's 
absolutely critical to hold your frame completely. No matter 
what she says about the pizza (too fattening, too greasy, she 
ate it for lunch, whatever), just go. She can sit and watch you 
eat. If she suddenly gets hungry, make her get her own food, or 
make her work for a bite of yours. In other words, price-tag it. 
For example, if she does something nice, she gets a mushroom, 
or a pepperoni. At this point, you have the frame, and she is 
yours to do with what you will. 

Does that still sound like too much work? Good, because it is. 
Let's try a third time: 

Wife: Let's go out to eat. 

IVIan: I lil^e the way you think. Grab your coat and keys, you're 
driving. 

Wife: Where are we going? 

Man: (Spins her around) We'll know when we get there! 

The man in example one failed miserably is because he made 
some critical mistakes. First of all, he expected the woman 
to take the lead in decision-making, something that most wo- 
men are loathe to do. Secondly, he tried address her emotions 
with logic. The woman was trying to communicate "Let's have 
fun!" and/ or "I'm hungry!," with the expectation that the man 
would provide her with this, while the man was busy arguing 
over her emotional state. 

In the second example, the man still failed to provide her with 
the good emotions she was seeking, but at least he avoided 
arguing logically with her regarding her emotions. 

As you can see, the basic structure of AB Indecision is when 
two or more "choices" — both equally agreeable to the man — 



134 



Bait and Switch 



are disqualified by the woman on emotional rather than logical 
grounds. Once a man learns that statements such as "Let's go 
out to eat." really mean "I'm bored, entertain me!", then these 
kinds of situations can actually be quite enjoyable, because they 
provide opportunities to play. Once you have mastered this, 
when a woman says "Let's go out to eat!" you will hear "Let's 
play!" 



Bait and Switch 

The Bait and Switch probably costs more men more grief than 
any other technique in women's arsenals. Succinctly, the Bait 
and Switch is just what it sounds like: offer something of value, 
then switch the valuable thing to a worthless thing once the 
hook is set. Women are very cognizant about this tactic; it has 
even been written up in Cosmopolitan magazine as a sure-fire 
way to get a guy interested in a relationship. So how does it 
work? 

It's pretty simple. Did you ever know a guy that stated mourn- 
fully "My wife used to be so into Trucks/Camping/Beer Bong- 
ing before we got married. Now, she gives me a huge ration 
of shit whenever I want to do it, and 1 don't care if she comes 
along anymore." Bait and Switch, gentlemen. Bait and Switch. 
Wifey baited with some fun activity, set the hook (pussy), then 
removed it once she got what she wanted (marriage, or a com- 
mitted, long-term relationship). 

This works so well because so many guys have this fantasy of 
women as "dudes with tits." That is, they want they male- 
oriented companionship, but with a woman whom they can 
have sex with when they get horny, instead of jerking off. We 
suspect that this fantasy runs very strong in men lacking nor- 
mal socialization, and possibly among many otherwise-normal 
men as well. Natural ladies men know better than this, under- 
standing that women are best enjoyed for their unique, wom- 
anly charms, and not to provide emotional validation equiva- 



135 



il, Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ♦ 



lent to male bonding.^ 

It is important to note that the Bait and Switch is also a female 
test to detect weaker males, or weaker-male behavior. We have 
observed an increase in sexual desire in many females when 
the male is not effected by the mental power of the Bait and 
Switch. Therefore it is very good business for a man to learn to 
deal properly with this female mechanism. 

Detecting the Bait and Switch 

How do you know when the Bait and Switch game is afoot? 
When a woman shows apparently-sincere interest in something 
you do for fun, something you do that occupies your time away 
from her. Are you a surfer and she has never surfed in her 
life, but now, she has a sudden, overwhelming passion to surf? 
Watch out, buddy, because this is exactly how a Bait and Switch 
is set up. If you must, take her out on a special trip once in 
a while, make sure to show her lots of affection, and bone her 
silly afterwards. But take her only once in a while. Interest- 
ingly, a recent issue of Surfer Magazine had an article on this 
very topic: How to take a surf trip with your girlfriend. Their 
advice: pretty much same as ours.'' 

Breaking the game is easy once you can recognize it: simply 
treat any excursion as a normal date and plan accordingly. Make 
sure that is just uncomfortable enough for her that she won't 
want to do it again, but that the discomfort is from her lack 
of experience, from being out of shape, or from anything at all 
other than some way to blame you. And no matter how shitty 

*Joseph: In industrial Canada, female competition for good Providers is 
fierce. The men do a lot of physical labor but make very good money doing it. 
It is not a coincidence that a majority of young women here are extremely-avid 
hockey fans. 

^David Clare once dated a woman who had a wild, kinky side to her. He 
fell in love with her! Well, it turns out that part of her kink was the chase itself. 
Once she "caught him," the sex dried up, literally, and she started pressur- 
ing him about "the relationship." He figured out tliat, since the great sex was 
steadily diminishing as the level of commitment increased, he would promptly 
break up with her. He explained that he had already been through the Bait and 
Switch with his ex-wife. Her response: "That bitch! Your bitch ex-wife ruined 
you!" 



136 



Ambush 



it is, with crappy weather, filthy conditions, or whatever it is 
that bothers her, make sure that you absolutely revel in those 
conditions! You love being hot, cold, dirty, tired, thirsty, hun- 
gry or whatever, right? Have a great time! This will allow her 
to respect you, and to politely limit her future involvment. You 
can reinforce this by making sure to invite her out again once 
in a while, when the conditions are equally shitty. 

An even better way to break the game is simply smile and nod: 
"Sure baby, I would love to take you climbing," but never ac- 
tually do it. Or, drag it out and make her really, really work for 
the privilege. Once your inner game is locked on, you won't 
want the woman around for these activities anyway. It won't 
be validating to have her there; it will simply be a pain in the 
ass. 



Ambush 

A man works hard to provide for his family, maybe in a job he 
dislikes. The hardworking man then commutes home. Maybe 
the train is packed full of people, or the traffic is snarled. The 
hardworking man opens his door wanting nothing more than 
a few moments of peace and quiet. But he knows there is a top- 
level predator in his home — a female of the species homo sapi- 
ens — lurking in ambush, near the door. She has been "wait- 
ing all day" for the hardworking man's return. She is full of 
unspent emotion and lists of things for him to do. Her emo- 
tion must be dissipated immediately. The man must be put to 
work immediately. The hard working man's stress level rises 
another notch. He knows what is to transpire: As soon as his 
shoe crosses the threshold, she will launch herself at him with 
a litany of complaints and incessant chatter about meaningless 
aspects of her uneventful day. 

It happens every day. He feels powerless. 

This is unacceptable. A man's home should be his castle. A 
place of peace and refuge. But, what to do? 



137 



ilt Joseph <C> David ^ Franco ^ 



A woman's emotionality is compelling. A woman — and espe- 
cially a modern woman — often feels that she has the absolute 
right to express her emotions freely, regardless of the opinions 
or reactions of those around her. This is especially trvie with 
regards to her romantic partner. 

Especially with women with a high sex drive (HD), the ap- 
proach of "Please let me rest when 1 come home from work" is 
not likely to be too effective by itself. This very-understandable 
male demand will usually face resistance from the woman. A 
woman understands — subconsciously, in her deeper, biologi- 
cal level of instinct — that if she does not comply with his de- 
mand, he will be forced to either: 

1. Get angry with her. This will betaize him, though not as 
badly as can be expected under some alternatives. She 
will use his anger to to try to make him feel guilty about 
"treating her badly". In worst-case scenarios, she may 
use his reactions to try to demonstrate that he is mentally 
abusive or that he cannot control himself, 

2. Start to qualify to her about her demands. This move is 
totally betaizing. In this case, in order to achieve peace at 
home, he will have to pay a heavy price to her, such as do 
favours for her, and comply with her demands for atten- 
tion. In this scenario, men who often completely Alpha 
at work end up in a completely Beta position at home. 

3. Abandon his territory to go "hunting". This man will 
usually end up doing business all the time, or will spend 
a lot of time in the apartments of the other women he has 
hunted.^ 

4. Become a tyrant. As a man, you may very well feel that 
it is not fair or right for a man to not be able to relax in 
your own territory — your home — after you've done all 
you can for your family and your woman. Many men go 

^Franco: I remember a man whom I coached who had slept at his place of 
business for ten years! His wife had the habit of giving him constant emotional 
outbursts while he was driving his car, with every single change in direction. 
At home, this man could not move a thing without having to face drama. 



138 



Ambush 



through a difficult moral struggle on this point once they 
realize that being polite and considerate is not having any 
effect against the Ambush. 

It is important to understand that this female behavior seems to 
have deep biological roots based on primary survival instincts. 
For many years now, the dynamics of family therapy and coun- 
seling has made men feel guilty for supposedly not grasping 
the female need for communication. In fact it is true that a 
man should understand a female's need for communication, 
but that does not mean he should comply with manipulation 
or forfeit peace and quiet on his territory. Our policy has been 
to show understanding of the female need for communication, 
but only when the process of the communication does not in- 
dicate an attempt at manipulation or an ambush against our 
peace in the home. 

The male biological brain structure is such that relaxation and 
silence during the times between battles and hunting are vital 
needs. When a woman tries to keep a man from doing that, she 
is in effect manipulating him when he is at his weakest point. 

Some Practical Help: Focus on the Process 

Men suffering from the Ambush are in a difficult position. Any 
attempts to negotiate the issue of your need for tranquility in 
the home may encounter resistance from her. Democratic-style 
discussion usually does not work. Instead, tell her your need 
for silence and relaxation on your territory and establish simple 
guidelines rules within your household with regards to that. 
Verbal appreciation and physical escalation (if you have energy 
for that) may help reduce the drama, especially if you as a man 
are able to very rapidly dissipate her emotional tension. 

If such efforts prove fruitless, find for yourself a couple of hours 
of relaxation with your friends in bars or restaurants before you 
finally go home. Franco does this with good success, finding 
that once he has relaxed from the work day it is much easier 
to emtionally engage at home. Another great method for mini- 
mizing the impact of the Ambush — if you can afford it — is to 



139 



Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



have more than one apartment or at least a private room that 
is totally separate from the rest of the home. Your studio or li- 
brary should become a place dedicated to relaxation and peace 
of mind. 

It is vitally important that you focus on the process of your ver- 
bal interactions with women, much more so than the content. 
If you are unaware of the process — which can happen when 
you get caught up in the specific words that a woman is saying 
— you can quickly become betaized. 



Jealousy 

New studies about jealousy seem to indicate that it is a strong, 
primitive instinct, which is meant to increase competition for 
sex between individuals. In other words, it is preserved in evo- 
lution because it has the positive purpose of increasing preg- 
nancies. It is similar to what is achieved by the sensations of 
thirst or hunger in that it is designed to preserve human life. 

The emotion of jealousy can therefore be viewed in a positive 
light, since it is meant to motivate people towards procreation. 
It is, in fact, crucial that you frame the emotion of jealousy as 
something natural and even positive. A man who is unable 
to put jealousy in proper context puts his emotional safety, his 
mental health and possibly even his assets at great risk. 

Jealousy is widely used by females — whether consciously or 
not — as a means to control her male love interest. This is con- 
nected with her drive to maximize the profit she can gain by 
having a man fall into the role of Provider with her. 

One especially common case you'll notice is that women will 
tend to create for you mental images of competition with other 
men. For example, a woman will often describe interactions 
with other men in vague ways, such that you start to really 
wonder whether she has any sexual involvement with these 
men, but you are unable to logically conclude it either way. 
She will usually do this in a subtle, even unconscious manner 



140 



Rich Descriptions 



In this way, she is acting upon your strong instinctual drive to 
procreate. Women will tend to do this at all stages of a relation- 
ship. 

It should therefore obvious why — if you are not able to prop- 
erly handle your jealousy instinct — a woman you find attrac- 
tive will easily be able to manipulate you into doing what she 
wants, such as marry her or support her financially, whether or 
not doing so coincides with your own best interests. 

An important point to note here is that we are talking about 
mental images. These images do not necessarily mean that wo- 
men will cheat on you. They simply indicate that you have 
been actually hypnotized by the woman's use of language, such 
that you find yourself in an altered mental state. You may very 
well start to feel that in order to be able to procreate with the 
particular woman you will have to please her, so as to avoid 
her being impregnated by other men. 

Realize that it is the instinct of preserving life in you which can 
put you at the mercy of the woman! The positive drive towards 
the preservation of life is acting upon you. Allow yourself to 
feel the emotion of jealousy, but do not let the hypnotic effect 
of the woman's words affect your better judgement! 



Rich Descriptions 

Words can have a hypnotic effect on the brain. This has been 
demonstrated by science by measuring the effects of auditory 
stimulation on brain activity, magnetic resonance and positron 
emission tomography. 

Our experience in dealing with women matches that of many 
professional hypnotists: the richer you describe an experience 
to another person, the more you will have that person actually 
live and feel that experience for themselves. 

A Rich Description is a distinctive trait of femininity. Men, — 
especially very masculine men — communicate primarily by 
exchanging data. They tend not to use redundant. Rich De- 



141 



^ Joseph <0> David ^ Franco ^ 



scriptions. Men can enjoy spending hours exchanging facts but 
they will not usually enjoy richly describing them. 

For example, a man who wants to talk about his experience at 
the gym with another male friend will typically express it like 
this: 

"I was at the gym. I had a hell of a workout tonight!" 

On the other hand, a woman talking about her experience at 
the gym might describe it more like this: 

"Yesterday I was feeling so tired and depressed. Then I no- 
ticed my gym bag, the red one my aunt Mary gave me as a gift, 
and I started to remember how good I used to feel when 1 was 
exercising regularly. I started to feel like I wanted to get mov- 
ing again! I used to be so much happier before when I was in 
shape! It was such a miserable, cold winter day yesterday, so I 
felt like I had better go to the gym." 

The purpose of the female's use of Rich Descriptions in nature 
is linked to her need to manipulate her environment for the 
purpose of survival. By using Rich Descriptions in her conver- 
sations with the members of her social circle — and especially 
the males — she achieves the hypnotic effect of having those 
close to her desire to support her in her aims. 

It is very important for you to recognize the hypnotic effect that 
female Rich Descriptions can have on the brain and to be ready 
to manage these effects within yourself. Again, your mental 
health and your assets can be put at risk if you do not! 



Pouting and Whining 

Pouting and whining are somewhat softer forms of manipu- 
lation seen in mammals. For example, dogs and cats clearly 
whine, and a pretty good case could be made that they engage 
in pouting as well. Both pouting and whining indicate a fim- 
damental secession of authority, but they also represent of test 
of resolve. Whining comes from a place of weakness. Capitu- 
lating to whining comes from a weaker place yet. So don't do 



142 



Practical Advice: Taking Action 



it. 

Both pouting and whining are easily dealt with by teasing, as 
well as appreciation. It is important that you do both at the 
same time. On the one hand, the woman has turned over her 
personal authority to you, which should be appreciated. On 
the other hand, the point under consideration is probably in 
nobody's best interest, no matter how good it might feel to her 
to express her point in this way. 

If the rest of the relationship is in order, then handling pouting 
can be as easy as this: 

Her: "Whine whine pout pout" (The actual words are irrelevant, 
because her lower lip is stuck out) 

You: "You are sooo cute when you pout!" (pinch her lower lip) 



Practical Advice: Taking Action 

One of the best ways a man can take action when being manip- 
ulated is using his birthright, which is his natural male logic. 
Women aren't stupid; they can use logic as well as men. David 
Clare knows many female engineers and scientists, most of 
whom are quite good at logic. However, they usually don't 
choose to use logic in relationships, because emotions work so 
much better for getting them what they want. When they use 
logic, they run a risk of losing the battle with their male coun- 
terpart. 

In any case, if the man's logic is good, and doesn't hurt the 
woman's material interest (it may confound her desire, greed, 
or whatever), then a normal, healthy woman will recognize it 
for what it is and, we believe, respect the man for using it. This 
will be the case even if she gets upset in the process, so long as 
the man retains his composure. 

So many times we have heard women say, "I want a man who 
is smarter than I am." We believe this — in part — means his 
ability to use logic in the sense we describe. 

The key to using male logic requires two preconditions, both 



143 



X Joseph 0 David Franco ^ 



equally important: 

1 . Only apply logic to situations with a clear train of casu- 
ality, such as physical situations where B is clearly the 
result of A. For example, not paying bills results in calls 
from the collection agency, no matter what her "feelings" 
might be about bills, collection agencies, or whatever. 

2. You as a man must be completely unengaged in the out- 
come. You must not care at all what she thinks or says 
about the situation. If she displays an emotional outburst 
to deflect her feelings or absolve herself from blame, you 
must absolutely retain your composure. In these situa- 
tions, her opinion simply does not matter. Let her dissi- 
pate her emotion first, then you can engage her rationally. 

This may sound unduly harsh. But there is big difference be- 
tween really caring for a woman, and appeasing unacceptable 
behavior. The result is that you as a man will be able to provide 
necessary emotional strength to her, as she deals with emotions 
ranging from anger and embarrassment, to shame and disap- 
pointment. 



144 



14 Female Arousal and Sex Drive 



Love to think that you couldn't love another 
I can't help it... you're my kind of man 
— Bathwater, by No Doubt 

E purposely put this chapter after the other chap- 
ters on screening, for several important reasons. 
First of all, sex is absolutely the core of any ro- 
mantic relationship. In fact, we would go so far as 
to say that without a good sex life, you simply no longer have a 
romantic relationship, or at best, it is in a comatose state. Lack 
of sex that is satisfying to both partners in a relationship, how- 
ever, is actually a symptom of deeper problems within a rela- 
tionship. Later in the book, we will discuss important aspects 
of the male personality, which you can work on and improve, 
and in some cases even salvage a relationship that has gone 
sour. But it is certainly better to understand the type of woman 
you are dealing with before you become romantically involved. 



Biological Differences in Sexual Drive 

Before going any further, we 
emphasize that the material in 
this chapter generalizes and ste- 
reotypes women into what we 
consider extremely useful end- 
member categories on a spec- 
trum of sexual drive ranging 
SEX DRIVE from Low-drive (LD) to High- 

drive (HD). In reality, very few 
women occupy the end member positions in this spectrum. We 
assume that sexual drive is normally distributed (as shown in 
the figure) and that most women have tendencies towards LD 
or HD. We have also observed that the same woman may be 
either LD or HD depending on circumstances such as environ- 
ment, her age or time of life, potential partners, relationship 
status, and stage of relationship. Some women will always be 





Jit Joseph <> David 9 Franco 4 



well to one side or the other in this spectrum. Calibrate to the 
woman in front of you. 

Just as the woman's sex drive is variable, so too the man's. 
The vast majority of men and women are more "medium sex 
drive," differing more in a relative sense than an absolute sense. 
In a relationship, more than likely the importance of HD/LD 
depends on where the man and woman are with respect to 
each other. For example, both the woman and the man may 
have lower than normal sex drives compared to the popula- 
tion at large. But one or the other will invariably have a sex 
drive higher than the other, and that's where the juice is. As 
you read through this chapter, keep this point in mind, under- 
standing that most likely, whether the woman is HD or LD has 
as much to do with your sex drive as with hers. And as much 
to do with your ability to arouse her romantic urges. 

When evaluating female sexuality, men often forget that the 
woman is the one to get pregnant and carry children. Men are 
prone to project their own sexuality on the woman, feeling that 
a woman would feel and behave like a man in that regard. In so 
doing, men tend to forget that the main biological purpose of 
human sexuality — unromantic as it may seem — is pregnancy. 

Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 

In this book, we divide women into two rough groups: 

1. HD women. Women with a relatively stronger sexual 
drive. 

2. LD women. Women with a relatively weaker sexual drive. 

HD women are evolutionarily and biologically programmed 
to get pregnant more easily. They are programmed to make 
more children but at the same time to be inferior mothers. LD 
women are programmed to be better mothers and yet less pro- 
lific in the matter of pregnancy. Our theory has absolutely no 
moral implications; it is simply a strategy of Nature to spread 
its investments into different directions, as it usually does in 
the evolutionary area. 



146 



Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 



Women who are HD tend to get aroused sexually by verbal 
stimulation and male dominance very fast, and at a very high 
degree. On the other hand, women who are LD need a much 
longer time and greater verbal stimulation to achieve the same 
degree of horniness. This is purposeful from Nature. The faster 
way in which HD women get aroused by verbal stimulation — 
and their tendency towards dramatic emotions — means that 
those women are more prone to get pregnant. On the other 
hand, LD women may need a huge amount of verbal stimu- 
lation and a much longer time to achieve the same degree of 
horniness. This makes LD women less dramatic and more ded- 
icated to childcare. 

One could say that HD women are more deliverers and LD wo- 
men are more care givers. This is one of the biological reasons 
that the M/w Complex (Chapter 16) was invented in the first 
place: a male projection of the fear of HD women, and of the 
illusory sense of safety given to them by LD women. 

Low Drive Women 

Many LD women are very much under the influence of what 
we like to call the frame of "the knight coming from afar." 
They are in a continuous state of preparing their hearts for their 
prince, whom they imagine as traveling great and difficult dis- 
tances to come conquer the group and lead everyone within 
it. The worst mistake you can do with this kind of woman is 
to put yourself in the role a man who she has figured out com- 
pletely. Instead, if you frame yourself as someone rare, exclusive 
and difficult to reach, and you maintain that frame at all times, 
then you can slowly influence a woman into more of an HD 
frame. How you do that in practical terms? 

Our method is simply that you reduce the time you are with 
her. Think: short, quality time. Give vague answers to her 
questions. Keep longer breaks between interactions with her. 
When she asks about what you do, you can use these James 
Bond-style cocky but funny frames. For example: 

• "I was on a mission" 



147 



♦ Joseph 0 David Franco 4|k 



• "I had someone to take care of.." 

• "I was flying to X" 

• "I was flying from Y" 

Note that this James Bond frame is not simply saying these words. 
The words themselves convey only 7% percent of the mean- 
ing. Your tonality and body language must convey those James 
Bond attributes: Excitement! Adventure! Danger! Sex! 

In other words, you want to keep yourself in a frame where 
you are seen by the LD woman as: 

• Mysterious. 

• Always coming and going to and from places where she 
cannot reach you. 

• Ambiguous and vague. 

• Generally unavailable. 

Unlike Franco and Joseph, David has a penchant for relatively 
LD women. David creates these kinds of interactions naturally 
by keeping a certain amount of his activity relatively close to 
the vest. Prematurely revealing intent before action may result 
in two situations conducive to reducing attraction. The first 
is that demonstration counts, talking doesn't. The second is 
that most men will collapse in the face of female disapproval 
of their behavior. Keep your failures to yourself until the pain 
has passed. Keeping the mystery alive allows you to surprise 
her with success, instead of disappointing her with big talk and 
subsequent failure. 

Contrary to this frame would be deeply sharing all of your 
ongoing activity, allowing her to feel both success and failure. 
There is great power here, under the condition that you are not 
supplicating for her approval of your activities, and that fail- 
ure results only a powerful, shared emotional experience, not 
a complete masculine frame collapse. In other words, feel free 



148 



Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 



to share anger, disappointment and pain, but take full respon- 
sibility, without ever whining. Given most women's adroit ca- 
pability for offloading responsibility, she will surely find a way 
to shift the blame from you to someone or something else. Let 
her. 

Remember, once you are in a relationship with a woman, she 
wants to be attracted to you. Let these qualities emerge from 
within you; do not use them as manipulative techniques to 
compensate for emotional weakness, neediness or approval- 
seeking. If you do, your outward appearance will eventually 
collapse into your weak, hollow core, and your soon-to-be ex- 
girlfriend will complain that you weren't genuine. 

High Drive Women 

Two critical aspects of the HD woman must be understood. 
The first is that HD women crave being seduced and feeling 
masculine power just as much as LD women. The second is 
that drive and seducibility are not necessarily correlated. Some 
woman are easier to seduce than others, irrespective of their 
sex drive. 

Due to the Madonna/whore complex, the The HD woman's 
strong sexual drive has long been a taboo in our culture. The 
figure of the HD woman has always been identified with the 
figure of the whore. This kind of woman has inspired fear in 
men; fear of them not being able to satisfy her sexually and 
emotionally, and fear of the extreme appeal she exerts on mas- 
culine men. 

The psychological profile of this woman is usually totally dif- 
ferent from the LD woman. She is more prone to exhibit drama 
during conflict situations and throughout her relationships with 
men. What we refer to as "drama" is actually a means by 
which the cortical part of the brain tries to keep control over 
limbic system, during episodes of powerful hormonal effects 
of arousal. 

In other words, an HD woman will also face strong internal, 
moral pressure from her superego — or strong outer pressure 
from society — in regards to controlling her arousal. When 



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j|b Joseph ^ David ^ Franco <|> 



this pressure becomes strong enough, the woman will exhibit 
drama. Psychologists used to refer to this phenomenon as hys- 
teria. The modern term for hysteria is dissociative behavior. 

It's very interesting to note how nature is working here: weaker 
men will tend to react to the HD woman's drama by arguing or 
withdrawing out of fear or fatigue. However, the stronger the 
man is, the less he will fear the woman's dissociative behavior 
and the more likely he is to successfully deliver to her some 
"medicine" that is likely to calm her down: great sex! 

In our opinion, the natural purpose of the HD woman's disso- 
ciative behavior or drama is to short-cirtuit male logic so that 
the male becomes sexually aggressive and more prone to cause 
a pregnancy. In fact, female drama is almost unbearable to the 
male brain and a man will tend do almost anything to get a 
release from that. 

From our point of view, it follows that many home violence 
cases can be traced back to encounters between an LSE HD 
woman and an aggressive, LSE Alpha male who is unable to 
control his aggressive tendencies when faced with feminine 
drama. 

Calibrating Sex Drive 

Here is an interesting observation we've made through experi- 
ence: you can calibrate the woman's drive to your own drive 
over time. If you want things hotter, run more attraction ma- 
terial when you see her. And then, make sure you can sex her 
good everytime you see her, and do not take the sex for granted. 

On the other hand. If you want to lower her sex drive, involve 
her more often in logical conversation, which will put her cere- 
bral cortex to work, thereby overriding the emotional brain's 
impetus towards sexual engagement. This is guaranteed to 
work for all women, except the few who are actually aroused 
by intellectual conversation!^ 

If you are an HD male, it makes sense that if you decide to have 

'Women's extraordinarily wide range of sexual blueprints again demon- 
strates nature's stratgey of widening the genetic pool. 



150 



Self-Esteem Considerations 



a particular woman as your primary (or only) sexual partner, 
that she should also be HD. 

If you are more of an LD man, you will also want to choose 
a partner that is compatible with you in that regard, unless 
you are completely comfortable with the idea of her getting 
her needs met elsewhere on occasion. This doesn't necessar- 
ily mean structuring a sexually open relationship, but it does 
mean taking the lead to help her effectively channel her emo- 
tional energy for your mutual benefit. 

By learning how to calibrate to each woman, you will have a 
better idea wether you and your partner are sexually compat- 
ible. Before we get into details on how to screen a woman for 
either HD or LD, we need to understand some key differences 
between the way men and women think and function sexually. 



Self-Esteem Considerations 

When we consider sex drive alongside the factor of self esteem, 
we derive additional, different categories of women. Bear in 
mind that each of these qualities exist on a continuum, and 
what we are presenting here are archetypes. Calibrate accord- 
ingly to the woman or woman in your life. 

The HSE/HD Woman 

This type of woman is the dream of every man but not many 
men can actually deal with her. She has a very strong sexual 
drive backed up by a very good self-esteem. She is like a Fer- 
rari with a strong motor and an experienced driver driving it. 
This type of woman will test her man — from the very begin- 
ning — for leadership qualities. She will be able to remain a 
good companion to him for as long as is the alpha in the rela- 
tionship. One of the most distinctive traits of the HSE woman 
is the relative absence of self-destructiveness from her person- 
ality. However, her high level of energy means that she is not 
suitable for every man. She can be the ideal woman for men 



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X Joseph <> David ^ Franco <|> 



who are exceptionally strong in both mind and body. 

The HSE/LD Woman 

This is also a very good woman, but certainly not suited as the 
sole woman for a man who is very HD. This woman's sexuality 
is meant by nature to be sublimated as much as possible, in or- 
der to ensure the care of herself and her children. This is a good 
woman for a man who is very much into his business and who 
does not have too much time for romance. But the man should 
hope that she never meets a man who is able to act on her emo- 
tionality. In fact, this type of woman is also programmed to 
change herself into HD when she meets a man who presents a 
real mental challenge to her. 

The HSE/LD woman could, under certain circumstances, feel 
very strong sexual attraction for a man who is strictly not in 
the position of her Provider but in the position of her Lover. 
Very often, this would be a man who does not live with her on 
her home territory. A man should always remember that the 
biological purpose of this woman is not so much the man, but 
rather the child. 

The LSE/HD Woman 

You do not want to be this woman's husband or boyfriend, but 
you can be her Lover so long as you do not share keys to a 
home with her. This is the kind of woman who often has been 
verbally or physically abused by several former boyfriends or 
husbands. With a mere superficial observation she may seem 
to be the victim, but what happens in real life is that she will 
tend to test men for the most primitive and low-level Alpha 
qualities: skills for violence and abuse. Her extremely strong 
sexual drive is paired with a total lack of control over her emo- 
tionality and actions. This is obviously a dangerous woman. 
Among this group you can find a lot of man-haters, but more 
often in this group there are a lot of psychologically-disturbed 
women with a lot of self-destructive tendencies. Here, a strong 
sexual drive is linked to a feeling of being worthless as human 
being. 



152 



Verbal Stimulation 



The LSE/LD Woman 

You should not be her husband or boyfriend and neither should 
you be her Lover. This woman is usually continuously' de- 
pressed. In this group you will find a lot of man-haters and 
women with Borderline Personality Disorder. What can be ex- 
tremely dangerous about this type of woman is that she may 
seem to be, at first glance, a totally normal, shy woman who 
is kind and affectionate. In reality, behind that facade there is 
a woman who is used to owning men through the use of suf- 
fering and sexual deprivation. Slowly but surely, she brings 
any man who is with her into total submission, to his material 
detriment. 



Verbal Stimulation 

Many women are highly dependent on verbal stimulation to 
be able to enjoy their sexuality fully. As experienced players 
we have known for years that one of the main roads to having 
a woman sexually aroused is through the use of rich, verbal 
descriptions. Brizendine [7] states: 

"Connecting through talking activates the pleasure 
centers in a girl's brain. We're not talking about a 
small amount of pleasure. This is huge. It's a major 
dopamine and oxytocin rush, which is the biggest, 
fattest neurological reward you can get outside of 
an orgasm." 

In our experience, female arousal, and the pleasure connected 
with talking that Brizendine writes about, are actually not sep- 
arated from each other. Bluntly put, effectively delivering rich, 
descriptive speech makes women horny. 

But there is much more! A woman is dependent upon the ac- 
tions and the attitude of her man with respect to how aroused 
she is able to become. That is, a woman is in some ways just 
like as it is written in the Bible; a part of the man's body. This 



153 



Ht Joseph <0> David ^ Franco ^ 



is because in order for her to be sexually receptive, she first has 
to find within a man a combination of several attributes. Based 
on our experience, a combination of male sexual dominance, 
and the skill of verbally stimulating emotions within a woman, 
will cause a very large number of women to become irresistibly 
sexually attracted. 

Nature, however, has been cruel. It is not natural for most men 
to be so verbally descriptive. If a man is too verbally descrip- 
tive with a woman on an ongoing basis, this will eventually 
lead to the emasculation of this man, or the perception that he 
is a homosexual. In fact, such a man will tend to become more 
and more submissive as he agrees to verbally and emotionally 
open himself up to the woman. 

When a man becomes more and more effeminate by opening 
himself up emotionally to a woman, female attraction towards 
that man will invariably plummet. This is because the relation- 
ship is lacking the other important quality that a woman needs 
for sexual arousal: male dominance. 

When a man allows himself to open up to a woman for too long 
of a time, he is in effect being slowly transformed into a wo- 
man, from her point of view. At the very beginning, opening 
up in this way will create a huge increase in her sexual attrac- 
tion, but eventually, if the man gives up his masculine domi- 
nance in the process, it will cause her to her lose her attraction 
for him. 

Incipient Bisexmlity 

There is evidence that a man is able to arouse a woman via 
verbal stimulation due an incipient bisexuality in the female 
arousal process. Apparently, women can be aroused in two 
distinct ways: 

1. Heterosexually, via male sexual dominance. This hap- 
pens when men do what is natural to them: act dominant. 

^Decker Cunov, founder of the Authentic Man Program, has developed a 
coaching program teaching men to become emotionally open, while remaining 
fully masculine. 



154 



Practical Advice 



I 



2. Bisexually or homosexually, via verbal stimulation. This 
is iniierently a lesbian-type of arousal because the use of 
verbal, rich descriptions when arousing a female is not 
natural most to men. 

According to Chivers et al. [10], female arousal is stimulated by 
both men and women: 

"In contrast to men, both heterosexual and lesbian 
women tend to become sexually aroused by both 
male and female erotica, and, thus, have a bisex- 
ual arousal pattern.... These findings likely repre- 
sent a fundamental difference between men's and 
women's brains and have important implications 
for understanding how sexual orientation develop- 
ment differs between men and women." — J. Michael 
Bailey, professor and chair of psychology at North- 
western and senior researcher of the study "A Sex 
Difference in the Specificity of Sexual Arousal." 



Practical Advice 

It is vitally important to determine whether a woman is LD 
or HD before deciding whether to enter into a long-term rela- 
tionship with her, because her behavior and the dynamics of 
a relationship with her will totally different, depending on her 
sex drive. We already gave you some guidelines by which to 
screen for a woman's sex drive in Chapters 9 and 10. 

Now, based on your deeper understanding of how and why 
women become sexually aroused, you have the tools to look 
deeper When the topics of sex and sexuality come up in your 
conversation with a woman — and you have properly screened 
her as either HSE or LSE — then her reactions to such topics can 
also help to identify the level of her sex drive. 

One huge mistake that men typically make in this area is not 
recognizing the nature of a woman's tests. If a man is unsure of 
himself and his sexuality, a woman may in fact feign disinterest 



155 



^ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



in sex, or act as if she is tired or busy, in order to test the man's 
self-confidence and also to test the man's sex drive. The worst 
thing you can do is act needy; that is, act as if sex is some sort of 
a gift that the woman bestows upon you in exchange for acting 
like a so-called "nice guy," as described in Glover's No More Mr. 
Nice Guy [11]). Needy behavior is often fatal to relationships. 

It must also be noted that if you understand all of the con- 
cepts of this book and apply them rigorously, your partner's 
sex drive should be higher during the time she is in a relation- 
ship with you than it would be otherwise. When you are sex- 
ually attracted to someone it is natural that your desire for sex 
would increase, either somewhat or a lot. 

Instead of viewing sex as a woman's gift to you, be a leader: 
someone who bestows sexual pleasure upon the woman and 
takes it for himself. If you know within yourself that you can 
bring a particular woman to orgasm, and you have identified 
the nature of her testing (HSE or LSE), then you can easily com- 
pare the level of her sex drive to yours. 

Develop Masculine Sexual Leadership 

One of the keys to great sexuality in a man is being able to mas- 
ter two seemingly-contradictory states of mind within yourself. 
For one, you need to be fully conscious of the signals the wo- 
man's body and mind are giving off, in order to calibrate your 
movements and pace. On the other hand, acting like a sub- 
servient wussy, who is only concerned with the woman's plea- 
sure and ignorant of his own body, is a sexual tumoff to most 
women. Therefore, what you need in the bedroom, as any- 
where else in life, are the qualities of a leader. A leader in this 
context is someone who is aware of his own body and his own 
pleasure — and he will take what he wants when he wants it — 
but at the same time he is sensitive to the needs of his partner, 
who also has a need to be pleased. 

Once you have the experience and understanding to really, re- 
ally please any woman both mentally and sexually, it will be 
much easier to gauge how much of a sex drive any particular 
woman has. You'll be able to quickly ascertain how often a spe- 



156 



Practical Advice 



cific woman wants to come back for more in relation to how 
often you want sex. Even better, you will be able to quickly 
screen for a woman with whom you are most sexually compat- 
ible with before committing to a long-term relationship. 



157 



15 Last Minute Resistance 

Stop right there! 

I gotta know right now 

Before we go any further 

Do you love me? 

Will yon love me forever? 

Do you need me? 

— Paradise by the Dashboard Light, by Meatloaf 

AVE you ever been with a woman and having a great 
time as things progressed to physical play? Maybe 
things got started with a dance to a favorite song, 
and then, slowly but surely, your bodies became 
closer and closer as your arousal increased. You could feel her 
arousal increasing too, as her kisses became more passionate 
and she began to pull your body closer to hers. At some point, 
one of you made a decision to get yourselves into more private 
surroundings, and the kisses and the touching continued to es- 
calate. You and your woman were connecting on every level, 
and you became certain within yourself that the connection the 
two of you were experiencing could not be more perfect. And 
then, suddenly, she pulled back and said, "Stop!" 

If you are like most men, at one time or another you have ex- 
perienced something similar to the scenario we just described. 
And, like most men, you were probably left scratching your 
head wondering "what went wrong?." Actually, nothing went 
wrong, the woman is responding appropriately. This pheno- 
menon is known as Last-Minute Resistance (LMR) and virtu- 
ally every man has experienced it. LMR can be defined as fe- 
male resistance to sexual intercourse, after the female has al- 
ready agreed to spend time in an isolated venue with a man. 

Intelligent men who have agonized over this phenomenon have 
come up with technology that allows one to effectively deal 
with LMR, while at the same time allowing the woman to main- 
tain her self-respect. Later in the chapter, we will provide you 
with the specific tactics that every man would love to have with 
respect to LMR. But first, let's make a detailed examination of 
the evolutionary underpinnings of LMR. 




Jjt Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



LMR has been described by women as a horrible, fearful emo- 
tion that envelopes them at a particular threshold. The thresh- 
old varies among women. One woman may draw the line at 
removing her jeans, another at removing her panties. The same 
woman may have a different threshold depending on the man, 
or the environment of the encounter, or both. A few women 
have very little LMR. 

One of the reasons that LMR can be so frustrating for the man 
involved is that this reaction often occurs right at the point of 
no return of the sexual encounter; the point where a woman 
realizes that if she goes one step further, she is going to end up 
having sex with the man she is with. To put it simply, this fear 
comes down to a fundamental question that the woman feels 
inside: "should I — or should I not — have sex with this man 
(yet)?" Every single woman on the planet will feel this emotion 
at one time or another in her life, and to varying degrees. 

LMR is difficult for men to understand, because men do not ex- 
perience this in the same way. Men do have an corresponding 
fear, one that is experienced at the very begimiing of the sexual 
encounter, and that is the fear of the approach. Since women 
do not normally approach men, they often find it difficult to 
understand this male fear, in the same way men find it hard to 
understand LMR. 

LMR is a mechanism that is hardwired into the biology of vir- 
tually every woman on the planet, no matter what her level 
of sexual experience or her cultural background. In biological 
terms, LMR serves two purposes in benefit of the woman. 



Biological and Sociological Purposes of LMR 

If a woman becomes impregnated by a man and the man does 
not stick around to protect her and her child, this can be a real 
danger for the woman. This is a basic, instinctual fear inside 
almost every woman alive. The fear persists in spite of the fact 
that today's society allows women the freedom to choose one 
man for pregnancy, another man to support her, and other men 



160 



Biological and Sociological Purposes of LMR 



for fun on the side. Today, health care for most women is far su- 
perior to the days when pregnancy meant death for 50 per cent 
or more of childbearing women. In those days, being aban- 
doned by her mate could mean ostracism, poverty and even 
death for a woman. Today, the state will give a woman full 
custody of her children, order that child support be paid, and 
remove most of the harsh consequences of pregnancy, but these 
are recent societal developments which do not alter a woman's 
biological makeup. 

LMR is also an instinctual reaction from females induced when 
she finds herself in a state of isolation. We believe this reaction 
fulfills two roles: it is designed to maximize her evolutionary 
value, and to preserve her physical safety. In our culture, a wo- 
man's being isolated with a male has a sexual meaning. A lot of 
cultural norms and institutions have been put in place with the 
sole purpose of prohibiting females from being in a state of iso- 
lation with a man to whom she is not married. Physical safety 
considerations come from both the biological risk of childbirth, 
which is dangerous for women, and getting caught in a "com- 
promising" situation has far more lethal ramifications on the 
African savannah where humans first evolved. 

Usually, a man who is directing his efforts towards having sex 
with a woman will attempt to get the woman into a state of 
isolation in order to achieve his goal. Men in particular hold 
the viewpoint that if a female agrees to isolation with a male, 
she is desiring to have intercourse with him. However, that is 
not necessarily the case. 

Basically, when a female has agreed to be in an isolated venue 
with a man, she has decided (at least subconsciously) that the 
male in question is superior in terms of genetic fitness, in com- 
parison to all the other males in her proximity. At a minimum, 
she would like for others observing the interaction to believe 
that she feels this way about the man. Since LMR means frus- 
tration for the man and puts him in a position of wanting some- 
thing froih the female, exhibiting LMR gives her some power 
over him. In this way, she can maximize her potential control 
over him. 



161 



Jit Joseph <) David Z> Franco 4^ 



It is therefore important to detect the underlying meaning of the 
LMR being displayed. 



Two types of LMR 

If a woman has LMR out of an inability to be sexually recep- 
tive to a man, or because of difficulties in accepting any man as 
sexual human being, then what we have is LSE LMR, which is 
a pathological form of LMR. 

If a woman has LMR for a biological and evolutionary need 
to test her male's psychological strength and control over his 
instincts — in other words, to test for his lack of neediness — 
then we have HSE LMR. 

HSE LMR is a trademark of a female who is a very strong in- 
dividual in terms of her rational control over her biological in- 
stincts. Such a woman wants to be sure to choose only strong 
males as her sexual partner. A "strong male" in this context is 
one who does not need her, either sexually or psychologically. 

These are of course general descriptions; most women will have 
a mixture of both HSE and LSE. When you properly screen a 
woman for her self esteem, then you will be able to avoid the 
pain and frustration that comes from dealing with a woman 
with LSE LMR. You can rest assured that a woman who would 
exhibit LSE LMR with you at the beginning of your relation- 
ship will consistently do so, as long as your relationship with 
her lasts. She will do so because has indicated from the out- 
set that this type of behavior is either acceptable or tolerable to 
him. 



Dealing with LMR 

It should now be obvious to you, the reader, that you will want 
to avoid women who exhibit LSE LMR. A relationship with a 
woman like that will constantly put you in the position of a 



162 



Preempting LMR 



man who is made to feel like his natural male desires are some- 
how wrong or immoral, and at a minimum, a burden to the 
woman he is with. In reality, for a sexual relationship to func- 
tion in a healthy way, you should view sex as your gift to her. 
The gift a woman gives you is her love, not her sex. 

That being said, there remains the issue of legitimate, HSE LMR, 
where a woman is merely testing you for strength because of 
her own high self-esteem. As we mentioned in the last para- 
graph, the way to pass that test is to demonstrate that you do 
not need her, either sexually or psychologically. Demonstrating 
this positions you as a man of strength. 

Let's say for example that you are about to reach the point of no 
return, and your woman abruptly says "we should stop." The 
correct procedure here is not to get upset or angry, or to sulk 
or complain. Rather, you will want to demonstrate that you 
understand this phenomenon, which implies that you've seen 
it before, and that you are not at all troubled by it. Remember, 
sex is a gift from you to her. If you decide that you no longer 
feel like cuddling with her, then you can get up and make a 
sandwich, go for a walk, or check your email. Remember, it is 
absohitely vital that the woman not feel that she has been able to 
upset yovi by this course of events. 



Preempting LMR 

If you are dealing with a sexually healthy, HSE woman, re- 
member that her LMR reaction is a test for her to judge your 
strength and your dependence on her. Before mating, a wo- 
man needs to feel like she is with a man who is strong and able 
to take care of her and her child in a case of pregnancy. If a 
man demonstrates that he is dependent on her for either sex 
or psychological support, she instinctively knows that he is not 
the man with the best genes for her. And the best way to judge 
a man's strength is to observe him under pressure. These tests 
are merely part of the female biological instinct. 

Women also have an instinctual fear of being abandoned by a 



163 



a, Joseph ^ David 9 Franco <|» 



man who, while he may be very attractive to her in terms of 
his strength, may not be willing to stick around long enough to 
ensure the safety of her and her child. 

When couples fall in love, there is a chemical process that oc- 
curs the brain known as pair bonding. The biological purpose 
of pair bonding is to ensure that a couple stays together long 
enough in order to ensure the survival of both the mother and 
the child. 

One way to preempt the naturally occurring LMR in a healthy, 
HSE woman is to encourage pair bonding throughout the court- 
ship process. Assure her with words such as: "I feel that you 
and I have a really special connection," or "Even though we 
are here amongst all of our friends and loved ones, my mind 
is on you all the time." These words are effective, with the fol- 
lowing caveats. Such statements should never be made in an 
approval-seeking way, and should only be done in the context 
of building comfort with a woman who is obviously already 
attracted to you. And it should go without saying that that if you 
do not feel pair bonded with her, don't manipulate her emotions by 
telling her you do. 



The Rapo Game 

Every once in a while, a woman will come along and give you 
all the right signals, all the way up until it's time to lift her skirt. 
Then, she not only balks at your advances, but becomes indig- 
nant about the entire notion of sexual intimacy. In other words, 
she tricks you. The best description of this phenomenon is Eric 
Berne's "Rapo Game" [12]. If you meet a woman like this, your 
absolute best bet is to project both strength and absolute dis- 
interest. Showing any weakness, such as when apologizing 
or supplicating may induce a further attack, with possible ad- 
verse legal consequences. Disinterest means exactly that: you 
never want to make an overture of any sort towards this type of 
a woman. And best to never be isolated with her either. 

For whatever reason, you may be required to interact with such 



164 



The Rapo Game 



a woman in a social context, and you may be in a position 
where you must always respond to her in a pleasant and po- 
lite manner. Such women know that they hold all the cards, 
and that society will completely back them and any allegations 
they make. The game for these women is the obtaining male 
attention, but in an very sick way. If you can avoid giving such 
women your attention, you will go a long way towards defus- 
ing future problems for yourself. 



165 



16 The Madonna/whore Complex 

And the angel inid unto her, 

"Fear not, Man/: for thou hnst found fiwour Toith God." 
— Luke 1:30, Kin^ Jaiiics Bible 

THE Madonna/whore Complex is a widespread pheno- 
menon of modem life. We can properly call it a meme, 
or a mind vims, that affects the majority of people to- 
day, both men and women. The presence of this meme 
directly contributes to sexual frustration in both men and wo- 
men, with men relegated to consuming pornography, and wo- 
men consmning romance novels, both in astonishing quanti- 
ties. Both the pornographv and romance novel industries are 
worth billions of dollars every single year. 

In spite of that, most men will not openly 
admit to being regular consumers of pornog- 
raphy. Most women will blush and deny 
if asked about their propensity towards ro- 
mance novels. Sexual satisfaction for many, 
if not most people, comes via secret fan- 
tasy worlds. Men and women both spend 
lots of time fantasizing about other people 
having hfrt s^ and living out exciting rotnantic lives. 

Nowadays, women evai try to match male behavior by going 

to watch male strippers and being more prOt1^ti^•e about sug- 
gesting sex . When tiiat type of female assertix eness is not an 
expression of free will, it actually derives itself from the com- 
plex, too. 

We believe that one of the primary causes of this secret sexual 
Ufe, and the inability of many people to create real, exciting and 
passionate relationships with other human beings that they can 
touch, feel and interact with, is the Madonna/ whore Complex, 

One of the most deleterious effects of the Madonna/ whore com- 
plex in our society is ttiat there is a psychological tendestcy to 
deny or ignore the existance of female sexual arousal. Because 
of this, many people do not realize that female sexual desire is 
a phenomenon that can be detected — not only by studying the 
f^ate orgasm — ■ but also by studying ttie female's: 




X Joseph <> David ^ Franco <|> 



1., Verbal Expression (female language and its relationship 
to the level of her arousal.) 

2. Behavior {the relationship between a female's manifested 
behavior and her level of arousal.) 

3. Facial Expression and Body Language (the non-verbal ex- 
pression of female arousal.) 

In the mind of the average guy, there is a total black hole in this 
area. Many men tend to view women as merely a "walking 
vagina." Some men have some knowledge about the female or- 
gasm and yet absolutely no knowledge of how a woman's sex- 
ual desire affects her behavior and her verbal and non-verbal 
expression. And too many men, sad to say, have absolutely no 
knowledge about the female orgasm and how it relates to her 
personality. 



What is the Madonna/ whore Complex? 

There does not appear to be a single, universally-accepted defi- 
nition of the Madorma/ whore Complex. According to one def- 
inition we like,^, the Madonna/ whore Complex refers to a phe- 
nomenon where men view their mates as sacred love objects, 
too pure to be sullied with the ugliness of sexual interaction, 
like a Madonna. 

Women who engage in raw and passionate sex, such as the wo- 
men of pornography, are considered "whores" or even worse. 
These women are secretly admired from afar, through the pages 
of a magazine or on the television screen, but they are never 
loved openly and directly. 

Freud wrote that the Complex arises in a man as a result of 
very close bonding with his mother, which the man never truly 
outgrows. The man seeks out a wife to replace the lost bond- 
ing with his mother, and because having sex with his mother 

' http: / / en. wikipedia.org/ wiki /Madonna-whore-Complex 



168 



Where does it come from? 



would be incest, tie becomes subconsciously repelled from his 
wife in a sexual way. 

An alternative explanation comes from Primal Theory, which 
posits that the complex results from a cold and distant mother; 
a mother who has not met the male child's need for affectionate 
intimacy. Either way, such a man may seek out and marry a 
supposedly "pure" woman to love, treasure, and protect. But 
in his mind, this is not a woman with whom one would have 
dirty, nasty sex. 

The existence of the complex is not disputed. It is in fact very 
real, and most everyone has an intuitive understanding of what 
it means for them personally. 

A dissociation between "sex" and "love" is omnipresent in our 
culture, even in our English language. For example, a man un- 
der the effect of the Complex may define the sexual activity a 
woman has with other men as "sex", and the sexual activity she 
has with him as "love". A woman, on the other hand, can de- 
fine making love with her husband as "dirty sex", but when she 
falls in love in a romantic way with a lover in an extra-marital 
affair she may define it as "making love with my lover". 

This conflict is spread throughout our culture. Both men and 
women alike love the idea of raw, passionate sex. Yet, most 
men walk through life being afraid of women and treating them 
like Madonnas. The modern man often has a secret, vicari- 
ous relationship with the whores of pornography, and a timid, 
asexual relationship with all other women, including his inti- 
mate partners. 



Where does it come from? 

Men have learned since childhood that the Mother is a sacred 
creature, and our culture and the powerful messages it con- 
veys through television and other media teaches that women 
are to be viewed as either good or bad, depending largely on 
their ability to surpress their sexuality and display mother-like 



169 



4t Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ♦ 



qualities of compassion and nurturing. 

The woman who bas a strong sexuality and a free life, is, in the 
minds of mfflry^ meiv ttie Whore, The woman who gives birth to 
them, takes cem of tiaem and is dose to Qvem in flieif momenlbs 
of despair is ttie Madonna. 

When a man suffers from the Complex and 
fh-ids himself in a relationship, confusion 
often arises as to which category he should 
place his girlfriend or wife. Many men 
fantasize about a woman that is wild in 
bed, but if thev picture their \vi\'es like 
that then they start to feel jealousy. If their 
woman is active in bed and seems to enjoy 
sex "too much", the man may even start to 
feel a certain dislike towards her, feeling that she is too "slutty" 
to be a "good" wife. 

Many men suffer because they automatically place their girl- 
friends or wives into the Madonna category, but they still se- 
cretly long for sex with a vviiore. In this case the woman may 
suffer from apeat deal of sexual frustration, and she may adopt 
man's view Chat too much enjoyment of sex by a woman is 
^mm^id, M this case she will gradualK lost' her ability to bo 
sexually uninhibited with her man and begm to avoid sex with 
him. The men will then often complain that their "good" girl- 
friend no longer wants to make love, and the\' will be aston- 
ished when she decides to seek out anotlier sexual parhier, one 
who understands her needs as a woman. 

But what, oxactlv, causes this Complex? Is it possible to eniov a 
rich and deep relationship with a woman who is a freak in the 
sack? For the average guy, it's hard to know which category to 
place the woman in front of him. To be totally frank, most wo- 
men are aware of this conflict within men and will sometimes 
intentionally play this dual card of being either a Madonna or a 
whore. It is to the woman's advantage to have you invest men- 
tal energy into her in this way. Before we give you the solution 
to this dilemma, we'll pro\ ide some further detail about why 
women act the way that they do. 




170 



Do I have the Complex? 



Many of us were taught by our mothers especially that sex is 
something to be hidden, kept secret and often that it is some- 
thing shameful. We are especially fed the cultural message that 
it's ok for boys to brag in the locker room about sexual exploits, 
many of which never even happened or are exaggerated. A 
young woman who is the subject of such tales can often face 
the ridicule and scorn of her peers. In ancient times and still to- 
day in more traditional countries, a woman can be put to death 
on the suspicion of committing illicit sexual acts. Although at- 
titudes have relaxed quite a bit in the past few decades, women 
who are promiscuous are generally not viewed in the same fa- 
vorable light that promiscuous men are. 

To put it another way, both girls and boys are taught from a 
very young age that good girls are not free to enjoy sex in the 
same way that boys are. Girls who enjoy sex too much or who 
are too open and direct with their sexuality are called horrible 
names and punished within their social group, or worse, cast 
out completely. 



Do I have the Complex? 

If you possess a belief that good girls do not enjoy sex in the 
same way that "bad" girls do, you have the Complex. If you 
are afraid to be sexually agressive with your wife or girlfriend, 
and yet masturbate regularly to pornography, then you proba- 
bly also have this complex. If you find yourself repeating and 
laughing at common jokes such as "all men are pigs," or "he 
can't help it, he's a guy," then that would be another indication. 
If you regularly engage in wussy, tip-toe-on-eggshells type be- 
havior around women that you are sexually attracted to, then 
you definitely need to work on this issue. 

Understand that to truly be liberated from the Complex, your 
internal attitudes and views about women and female sexual- 
ity will need a radical makeover. 



171 



ijt Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4^ 



How can a Man Avoid Being Harmed by this 
Phenomenon? 

What is really astonishing about the existence of the Complex is 
the fact that women enjoy sex as much and often more than men 
do. One only needs to take a look at a typical romance novel, 
or some female-authored erotica like Nancy Friday's My Secret 
Garden, to realize that women have wonderfully explicit sexual 
imaginations and desires. 

As a mature adult male, you should recognize that it is a beau- 
tiful and healthy thing for a woman to have a strong and wild 
sex drive. The sex drive of a woman says little about her char- 
acter or her personality, other than her appetite for sex. In 
Chapter 7 on Female Archetypes we dealt in depth with the 
personality types of women. As you should well understand 
by now, many good women have an extremely high sex drive, 
and there are also dangerous women to be avoided that do not 
possess a high sex drive. It is good for a man to appreciate the 
indisputable truth that sex for a woman is a beautiful, natural 
expression of her femininity and that it should be encouraged 
and praised, never condemned or feared. 



Love a Woman for Who She Is 

"Unconditional love" is when you love a woman for who and 
what she is and not for who you think she should be. When 
a man is forced by circumstances to give a woman conditional 
love he feels bad inside. Unfortunately, men do not talk about 
this sort of thing with each other. Men will rarely admit it, but 
when they really love a woman they do it with every breath, 
and with every cell of their body and mind. This is one of the 
lesser-known reasons that men are always trying to hide their 
feelings in favor of their mission. They persistently try to keep 
themselves "tough" and shut off from the emotional world. Men 
also have many other reasons for suppressing emotions, but 
love for a woman is the most sensitive reason. 



172 



Love a Woman for Who She Is 



When is a man forced to give conditional love to a woman? He 
becomes obliged to do so when he is put in a situation where 
he has to choose between his honor, his self respect, and his 
vital interests on the one hand — and giving his love to the 
woman on the other hand. The experience of being forced to 
stop giving love to his woman and to the members of his inti- 
mate group is the one of the most deleterious and dangerous 
experiences a man can face in his life. 

For a man, having to withdraw his love is especially painful, 
because to maintain his manhood he has to take the responsi- 
bility of repressing the love he naturally feels within himself, 
if circumstances oblige him to do so. A masculine man is in 
fact totally dominated by the instinct of being the protector of 
women and children. The experience of loving them and pro- 
tecting them is — by instinct — extremely important to him. 

As men of honor, we personally do not consider "real men" 
those who try to escape their natural role as the Alpha of their 
group. 

If one wanted to efficiently and completely destroy a man emo- 
tionally, then one would merely need to demonstrate to him in 
a clear way that he is useless as a protector to the members of 
his group; to other men, to his women and to his children. 

Men are tough: they have been trained throughout history to 
do what must be done. A man's mission is his honor. If a real 
man is put to choose between his honor, his mission and the 
woman he loves he will choose his honor and his mission. And 
his woman — if she is a real woman — will love him for that. 

If a real man is put to choose between his honor and love he 
will choose honor. He will suffer, but he will do so. If a man 
gives up his honor and his mission for his woman, then his 
woman may pretend to love him but her love for him will be 
already dead in her heart. 

As Franco often says, being a man can be a lonely business. 

Next, we'll show how your knowledge of the Complex actually 
puts you at a distinct advantage over the vast majority of men 
when it comes to dealing with women. 



173 



17 Dealing with the Madonna/whore 
Complex 

I'm just a bad girl, that's why we get along 

Won't make excuses for anything I'm doing wrong 

I'll pull the trigger in a flash 

Watch out honey, step back 

(Oooh) What's the use in playing it safe? 

(Oooh) Wouldn't you rather misbehave? 

— Dirty Laundry, by BitterSweet 

Y recognizing the true nature of women as passionate 
sexual creatures, and by eliminating from your mind 
the completely /a/se choice that says a woman must ei- 
ther be a whore or a Madonna, you put yourself at a 
huge advantage over most men today. Because so few men re- 
ally understand the Madonna/whore complex, you will soon 
discover that there is a whole world of women that are frus- 
trated and lonely and looking for sexual adventures. 

In order for her to truly express herself sexually, a woman needs 
to feel that the man she chooses to be with will not expose her 
to ridicule. She must be confident that he will not embarrass 
her in public or in front of her friends and family. Even more 
fearful for a woman is the prospect of being considered trash 
by the very man that she has chosen to give herself to sexually. 

One of the crucial keys to having a lot of women feeling sexu- 
ally comfortable with you as a man is to eliminate any traces of 
the Complex in your mind and attitude. What are some of the 
ways that you can let a woman know that you've completely 
eliminated the Complex from your life? 

There are several things a man must do to relax the boundaries 
that society and he himself may be imposing on his sexual life. 
First, understand the traditional female response to the Com- 
plex, which is known as the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD). In the 
next chapter, we go into detail with regards to ASD and pro- 
vide you with the tools you need to overcome it. 

The next thing you need to do in relation to the Complex is to 
thoroughly examine your own belief system. Be honest with 




A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



yourself and see whether you have any presence of the Com- 
plex within you. Then make a sincere and determined effort to 
get a deep understanding of how it has been affecting you and 
your views towards women. 

Finally, subcommunicate to your lover or mate that wild sexual 
adventure is normal and healthy, even though you understand 
that it's still important in our society to be very discreet about 
such beliefs and behavior Let's examine each of these points 
in more detail. 



Understand Yourself 

All of us have some aspect of the Complex. From the perspec- 
tive of Evolutionary Psychology, the Complex may also serve 
to distinguish in both men and women such roles as the Lover 
versus the Provider. If you are currently in a loving relation- 
ship with a woman, consider the case where she reveals that 
she has always had a powerful fantasy of being penetrated by 
two men at once. How would you feel about this? Suppose 
you are deeply in love with this women. Does this revelation 
change your feelings for her? VVould you be willing to allow 
her to explore this fantasy, or would you feel betrayed by her 
admission? Here is the social reality: most women have out- 
rageous fantasies, while most men are completely, totally, and 
irrevocably unable to emotionally handle such rampant female 
sexuality. 

But let's say that, unlike most men, you wish to freely enjoy 
women in both aspects. Madonna and whore. In that case, you 
will need to rewire both yourself and your relationship in the 
following ways: 

• First, make sure you are completely comfortable with the 
Madonna side of your relationship. This could take some 
work if you are currently in a rocky relationship, and 
you will need the baseline of trust and comfort. There 
are times when a woman wants to be motherly and feel 



176 



Understand Yourself 



like a lady. This does not mean that you will forfeit your 
leadership role in the relationship. However, there are 
times when a woman can properly enjoy taking care of 
her man and expressing tenderness and affection towards 
him. More on this point is covered in Chapter 19, "Male 
Qualities Attractive to Women". 

• Become comfortable with your own sexual needs and de- 
sires. If you are uncomfortable with your very real desire 
to do X, Y or Z with some "slut" it is 100% certain your 
woman will feel uncomfortable with the idea as well. This 
may take some profound personal reevaluation. 

• Understand your personal boundaries. Write them out if 
necessary. Be detailed and very specific. Imagine situa- 
tions that "couldn't possibly happen." 

• Start subcommunicating that you are comfortable with 
sexually expressive women. That "sluttinesss" is a sexu- 
ally attractive quality. This is easy when it's true. 

• Lose your ego. It is very likely that your woman fan- 
tasizes about other men once in a while. Possibly even 
when you are sexually engaged. That is, while you are 
pretending she is Pamela Andersen, she may be pretend- 
ing you are Jude Law (or whomever). It's normal. Deal 
with it. Play with it even, if you're man enough. 

• Establish a deep, intimate, loving connection with her 
such that your interactions with her are appreciative. That 
is, you are not giving with the expectation of being repaid 
by her, but rather, you are giving to her out of apprecia- 
tion. Once you are able to truly appreciate a woman as an 
intensely sexual being, she will feel much more comfort- 
able deeply opening herself up to you. And you will feel 
comfortable with the responsibility that such trust entails. 

• Make sure that your normal sexual relations with the wo- 
man are otherwise outstanding. Make sure she is thor- 
oughly and properly well-sexed. 



177 



4 Joseph <> David Franco 4 



• At this point, sexual experimentation is almost a given. 
She will want to be sexually experimental with you! 



If at any point during this process, your woman feels any judge- 
ment about her sexuality from you, or feels any social pressure 
from friends or family, it's game over. At least temporarily. For 
this reason, the quality of discretion is also very important. For 
more information on how to use discretion in your dealings 
with women, please see Chapter 5 on female subcommunica- 
tion and Chapter 18 on the Anti-Slut Defense. 



Have a Realistic View of the Woman 

The best way to avoid the deleterious influence of the Complex 
is to have enough real-life experience with women. Young men 
should avoid committed relationships with women if they do 
not first have more casual relationships with women, especially 
if they come from a cultural background where the Complexis 
very much present, such as North America. If you believe in 
marriage and want to marry that one special woman you meet 
while you are still young, then it is absolutely crucial that you 
pay attention to female psychology and that you dedicate your- 
self to the understanding of the female psyche and a woman's 
emotional life. 

If you get into a relationship with a woman, without first hav- 
ing a realistic view of what it actually means to be a woman — 
including all of the psychological and cultural forces at work 
that we've discussed here — then be assured that you are go- 
ing to face a lot of trouble and disappointment. A realistic 
view of women starts with the acceptance that they are sex- 
ual human beings with healthy sexual desires. The cultural 
influences that we've been bombarded with since childhood 
regarding Madonnas and whores does not reflect reality. The 
Madonna /whore complex is in fact an extiemely sick, dissocia- 
tive distortion of reality. 



178 



The Female View of Sex and Politics 



The Female View of Sex and Politics 

Another factor which makes this even more complicated is the 
fact that the Complex has very much to do with gender poli- 
tics and the balance of power between men and women. One 
woman under the effect of the Complex can create for herself a 
life where her sexuality has been totally taken out of the equa- 
tion when it comes to her relationships with men. A different 
woman may be able to remove the "Madonna" part from her 
life completely and effectively use her sexuality as a means to 
achieve social power. 

For example, the woman who sacrifices herself and her rela- 
tionships in favor of her secular career is actually under the ef- 
fect of the Complex. The woman who deliberately suppresses 
all of her natural needs for emotional connection and love, and 
who uses sex as a means to achieve power over men, is also 
under the effect of the Complex, but for different reasons. 



Case Study: The Pastor 

One recent case in the US news involves Ted Haggard, a promi- 
nent pastor of a large Evangelical denomination. For whatever 
reason, conjugal relations with his wife did not provide enough 
sexual fulfillment for him, leading our unfortunate pastor into 
the realm of hot, gay, tweaker sex. This cost him his job of 
course, once he got busted. Although many facts of the case 
are not at all clear, it is self-evident that Mr Haggard was not 
sexually satisfied within the constraints of his marriage. 

Individual psychology is very complex and in the case in ques- 
tion, issues connected with both the inner psychological world 
as well as issues connected with interpersonal relationships are 
likely to be involved. Although we cannot say for certain, Mr. 
Haggard is congruent with the Madonna/whore Complex. We 
can also see evidence of the Complex in society's reaction to 
this case. The magnitude of the public reaction demonstrates 



179 



JH Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



just how deeply this Complex is ingrained in our society. 

One of the aims of this book is to educate men, so that they can 
have a more relaxed and realistic view of female sexuality. We 
believe that many of these types of problems could be avoided, 
if men and women could learn to meet each other's sexual 
needs without having to psychologically dissociate from each 
other, and without this compulsion to divide women into two 
pieces in a schizophrenic way. While homosexuality is very- 
well accepted in many civilized countries, a single honorable 
man's entire life's work may be permanently damaged by his 
psychological dissociation of sexuality. It is obvious that this 
dissociation of sexuality that is caused by the Complex is very 
harmful and is the cause of such a huge collective reaction of 
denial. In this case there is evidence of a psychotic group reac- 
tion coming from within the pastor's religious social network. 



Case Study: The Sports Celebrity 

In another case, O.J. Simpson, a famous sports celebrity, had 
been accused of the murder of his own wife and her lover. Ev- 
idence about his terrible jealousy towards her and his abusive 
behavior have been widely reported in the media. The exis- 
tence of the Madonna/whore Complex is in this case evident. 
It seems that Mr. Simpson was regularly cheating on his wife, 
while at the same time jealously accusing her of the very same 
act. He apparently could not accept the fact that she is a whole 
woman, and that the jealousy within him reflects a denial of his 
woman's sexual desire, Mr. Simpson was acquitted of all the 
criminal charges against him, but he did in fact come danger- 
ously close to the electric chair. Mr. Simpson's reaction toward 
his wife can be considered to be a focused psychotic reaction, in 
that it is manifested specifically towards one situation and one 
person. At the root of such a psychotic reaction is once again 
the Madonna/ whore Complex. 



180 



Case Study: The Prince 



Case Study: The Prince 

In another country. Prince Charles of Wales and his relation- 
ship to a very wild, adventurous woman named Lady Diana 
Spencer was regularly reported on in the media. The wife of 
the Prince, Ms. Spencer, now deceased, was what we would 
define as an LSE Adventuress type of woman. She had suf- 
fered from bulimia and from personal identity problems and 
from depression. In spite of these LSE traits, Ms. Spencer was 
a great woman, dedicated to children and to many charitable 
works. 

As far as we can surmise. Prince Charles too is a great man 
who is devoted to his country. However, he faced a recurring 
problem with his former wife. We can make an educated guess 
that he was probably too much of a "Nice Guy" for a woman 
like Lady Diana. A Nice Guy is someone who is not able to 
recognize an Adventuress for who she is: a woman who has 
possibly suffered from neglect in her childhood, who is often 
in constant need of attention, and usually craves a high degree 
of external stimulation in one form or another. The Nice Guy 
will quite often and quite easily commit the terrible mistake of 
trying to "fix her" or "improve her." 

For a woman of the Adventuress type, attention and validation 
are of paramount concern in her life, and her sexuality is often 
deeply connected with those needs. It is important to note how 
Diana's sexuality seemed to flourish as soon as she found an- 
other man who is what we would call a "tough guy" or a "bad 
boy." It was widely reported that she appeared quite happy for 
the first time in many years. Still, she continued to live a self- 
destructive life. The story ends with her tragic death in a car 
accident in Paris, a death whose circumstances are still unclear. 

What if Prince Charles would have been able to deal with Ms. 
Spencer more effectively? Would she still be alive? It is pos- 
sible that a whole web of psychotic reactions had been caused 
as a result of the Prince's inability to acknowledge or properly 
handle the free-mindedness of his wife, triggering a long and 
complex chain of events which eventually led to her death. 



181 



18 The Anti-Slut Defense 



what kind of a girl would do 

the things you're askin' me to without wedding rings? 
Is it what you must do to prove you're a man? 
What kind of a girl do you think lam? 
— What Kind of a Girl, by Loretta Lynn 

FTEN a woman will want to have sex with a man, 
sometimes very urgently, but she will impose logi- 
cal reasons, excuses, and other obstacles in order to 
hinder sex from happening. Especially when a wo- 
man is in the presence of her peers or family will she tend to 
avoid any appearance of promiscuity or of being too readily 
available for sex. Her corresponding behavior in such situa- 
tions is referred to as the "Anti-Slut Defense" (ASD). 

An experienced man can deflect ASD so as to extract from his 
woman the best of her sexuality. On the other hand, learning 
to detect ASD is also important in order for you to be able to 
determine which woman or women to spend your time and 
energy on. You should be aware that there is a socially-induced 
ASD, which is present in every woman, and also a pathologi- 
cal ASD, which is a sign of a woman who will never be able 
to fully enjoy her sexuality, even within the boundaries of a 
socially-acceptable relationship such as marriage. A woman 
who exhibits strong ASD at all times no matter what the cir- 
cumstances can surely be considered LSE. 

This chapter includes some of the most important material in 
this book. Your ability to defuse ASD is one of the most pow- 
erful weapons you will have for being in a position to sexually 
satisfy women. 



ASD in Seduction 

Seducing is the act of first creating attraction within a woman^ 
and soon thereafter a willingness to have sex with you. In most 
cases, you can view the presence of at least some of the signs 




A Joseph 0 David Franco 4t 



of ASD as a positive thing. Generally speaking, ASD is a sign 
that you are succeeding in making a woman homy. With your 
help, a psychologically healthy woman will eventually be able 
to overcome her ASD and enjoy sex with you. 

ASD can be detected by observing a complex of verbal and 
non-verbal, behavioral responses within the woman. Detect- 
ing ASD is not always easy; in fact, the woman will not usually 
communicate it directly but, rather, she will subcommunicate 
it. 

During the seduction process, you will need to perform an in- 
dependent interpretation of the woman's subcommunication 
without actually talking or arguing with her about it. Quite of- 
ten, the presence of ASD is completely unconscious to the wo- 
man. Even in cases where a woman recognizes certain symp- 
toms of ASD within herself, she will rarely discuss this openly 
with you. 

ASD can be noticed when a woman shows signs of general un- 
easiness in conjunction with an increase in her arousal. This is 
different than when a woman is testing you. Usually, a wo- 
man tests a man so that she can determine whether or not he is 
worthy of having sex with her. With ASD, on the other hand, 
she is already craving sexual relations with you, but she is feel- 
ing a sense of inner conflict about her arousal. She may won- 
der whether she is a slut or a bad woman for being so aroused 
so quickly in your presence. As was already mentioned, these 
feelings maybe (somewhat) unconscious and be manifested by 
a general feeling of discomfort. 

Keep in mind that ASD can be very specific: some women may 
feel like sluts if they have sex with you on the beach and yet be 
perfectly at ease having sex with you in hotels. Other women 
may feel that they are sluts if they have sex with you in a hotel 
and be perfectly at ease on the beach. 

A woman's ASD will often be totally illogical and unrelated 
to the context and situation. For example Franco remembers 
one of his lovers, a married woman, who felt she was perfectly 
okay making love with him at her professional studio, and yet 
she would feel like a slut when presented with the opportunity 



184 



ASD in Long-Term Relationships 



for a rendezvous at a hotel. 

Usually, a woman's feelings of ASD will be projected onto the 
man in question, meaning that she will tend to feel that it is en- 
tirely your fault if she begins to feel badly about feeling slutty. 

What is a "Slut", anyway? 

When we think in terms of evolutionary advantage, people will 
tend to label women as "sluts" when they seem to be ignoring 
certain rules for fair competition among women. Women are 
always after the highest-value males, and a slut is a woinan 
who is accused of selling her reproductive rights to men at too- 
low of a price. Women are very competitive in nature and will 
sometimes enforce the rules of competition through selective 
labeling of their competitors. 

The term "slut" also comes from a perspective of negative moral 
judgement on the part men with the Madonna/whore com- 
plex. These men are in fact scared of competition with other 
men, and so they label women whom they consider to be "easy" 
as sluts. A man speaking in such a derogatory fashion about a 
woman is in fact demonstrating fear of the woman's sexuality 
and an inability to handle it in a mature fashion.^ 



ASD in Long-Term Relationships 

ASD is also rampant in long-term relationships! In fact, it's 
almost certainly more present in long-term relationships with 
Provider-type men than it is in short term or ephemeral rela- 
tionships with Lovers. 

Think about it from the woman's point of view. She may en- 
joy a surprisingly wide variety of sexual activity, but her need 
for personal security and security for her children preclude 
such activities, when her man is not comfortable with sexually- 

'"Slut" is a label also applied by men to women who refuse to grant sex- 
ual access to such men, while publicly granting access to other males. In this 
situation, the epithet comes from envy. 



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X Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



engaged women. Suppose he sees on TV or a movie a scene 
depicting a sexually active woman and exclaims "What a slut 
she is!" using a tone laden with condemnation or contempt. 
His judgement on that woman sends powerful messages to the 
woman he is with, such as: 

• He is not comfortable with female sexuality 

• He may be supplicating to obtain his woman's approval, 
saying what he believes she wants to hear 

• He does not have very much sexual experience with wo- 
men. Men with a lot of sexual experience with women 
know that women as a group enjoy an extremely wide 
variety of sexual activity. 

Women will test for your views on "sluttiness" within a rela- 
tionship, by making remarks like "Oh that woman is such a 
slut!" If you are a man who enjoys the company of women, 
step up and say so: "I know! That's what I like about her so 
much!" This test is commonly employed early on in a relation- 
ship. The woman will use bad-behaving celebrities — or other 
women she doesn't know personally making similar news — 
as examples for such comments. 

One thing is for sure: if you don't believe a woman is capable of 
acting in some particular sexual manner, you can be absolutely 
sure she won't act in this way, with you. If such an activity is 
something she craves, some integral part of her love map, she 
may find it elsewhere. If you don't take steps to lead her where 
you want to go, you will never find out one way or another 
whether she is willing to follow you there. Don't sell her short! 



Practical Advice 

In our society, it may not be possible to eliminate the pheno- 
menon of ASD entirely, but we can certainly mitigate the inci- 
dence and severity of it with the women we choose to interact 



186 



Practical Advice 



with. One important way that we can do this is by mastering 
something known as Discretion. 

Discretion is tlie quality that we display as a signal to the wo- 
man that we are aware of the prevalence in society of the Ma- 
donna/whore complex, and that we have personally dealt with 
it. We realize that the complex presents a real danger for wo- 
men in our world; at the very least, she senses danger from it 
in her subconscious mind. How do you subcommunicate to a 
woman that she is safe being sexual with you? 

Consider when you are in a group of people, and some of the 
men begin making distasteful comments about a certain wo- 
man's sexuality. Are you eager to make fun at the woman's 
expense? Or consider if you have an opportunity for a secret 
rendezvous with an attractive woman. Are you the type of per- 
son to openly discuss the possibilities with your friends, as if 
you were a child about to travel to Disney World for the first 
time? Or would you likely brag about your conquest after the 
fact to anyone who will listen? Doing any of these things will 
position you as a man that is not discreet and who cannot be 
trusted with any decent woman's honor. You will automati- 
cally and unfailingly raise the ASD of the women around you. 
This is something, however, that women will rarely, if ever, talk 
about. Women simply avoid men who are not discreet. 

Men who are enjoying many sexual partners do not need to 
brag about their conquests as if they somehow "got lucky." 
Men who want to enjoy the company of many women must 
first learn to cultivate and display the quality of discretion. You 
are a man that is comfortable with women and their sexual- 
ity, and at the same time you know when to keep your mouth 
shut. You are not disturbed by female sexual expression and 
at the same time you know how to discreetly create the cir- 
cumstances that will allow the woman the freedom to express 
herself. While you love and enjoy sex and have no embarrass- 
ment about your sexual desires as a healthy man, sex is not 
something so rare and unusual for you that you are compelled 
to reveal private details to the woman's friends, or even your 
own friends. 



187 



^ Joseph 0 David 9 Franco ♦ 



You will find that even women who have a liberated view of 
sexuality will in fact avoid men who do not display discretion. 
While many people today will not judge a woman for being 
promiscuous, other people will still judge her quite harshly. 
Naturally, she will feel comfortable with non-judgmental peo- 
ple and will want to avoid people with a deeply-ingrained Ma- 
donna/whore complex. 

Demonstrate Discretion 

It's not enough to subcommunicate discretion. You must demon- 
strate discretion as well. Men who are showoffs, braggarts and 
boasters, who must have the last word, who crave being the 
"most in the know," who are addicted to playing "one-up," 
these men will find demonstrating discretion much more dif- 
ficult. 

Here's how it works: Discussing real sexuality is more or less 
taboo in nearly all segments of society. When sexuality is dis- 
cussed, uncomfortable topics often arise quickly, increasing the 
social and sexual tension. This tension is invariably reduced 
with ridicule. Which is exactly what triggers ASD. 

Suppose you and your woman get up to some naughty stuff, 
stuff that drives her crazy, but she would be mortified if people 
found out. Now you are both surprised to find that the topic 
comes up in public discussion, in one of two ways: 

1. As innuendo. This is easy: let it pass. If other people 
in the conversation don't know otherwise, just let them 
think you're a bit "dull" in such matters and not so quick 
on the uptake about the sex thing. Your woman will in- 
stantly understand and appreciate your actions here. 

2. Directly. A little bit tougher: go with the crowd here, 
and subcommunicate to your woman that you're play- 
ing along to maintain discretion. Tell her later, in private, 
that while you may find such people agreeable to social- 
ize with at times, their unenlightened, judgemental or ig- 
norant attitude about women's sexuality is boring to you. 



188 



Practical Advice 



More simply put: just keeping your mouth shut will go a lot 
further than most men. 

Reducing ASD in LTRs 

Men in long-term relationships wanting to engage their women 
in deeper, more passionate sexuality need to start with them- 
selves. In particular, as a man, you must ask yourself these 
questions: 

• What really is acceptable and unacceptable female sexual 
behavior for me? (Dig deep, gentlemen.) 

• How am I — as a man leading my relationship — pre- 
pared to take concrete action? 

Most men have a vague notion of their feelings about the first 
point, and none at all about the second. In fact, most men aren't 
really aware they have any choice in the matter of the second 
point. 

Once the above work has been started (it's a process; don't 
think you will ever finish it), taking a relationship to the next 
level generally follows one of two patterns: 

1 . The man attempts to logically persuade the woman. 

2. The woman attempts to emotionally persuade the man. 

You can see both patterns in nearly every issue of Playboy's 
"Advisor" column. 

The first point never works. Not ever. The second is much 
more liable to work, except that not too many women are go- 
ing to lead their relationship in a "sluttier" direction. More so 
today than ever before — to be sure — but this is still the ex- 
ception rather than the rule. Not so surprisingly, for the second 
point, women tell of frustration in attempting to engage their 
men with activity beyond the men's comfort zones. 

So, how to proceed? 

The answer is simple! 



189 



X Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



Simply seduce your woman. That's all there is to it. Remem- 
ber, it's impossible to seduce someone who is unwilling to be 
seduced. Let her be the "willing victim of circumstance;" let 
this be your gift to her. 

Every time you desire a level of sexual engagement that is be- 
yond either the social norm or her present comfort level, lead 
her there with confidence. Everything about seduction still ap- 
plies in a long term relationship just as much as in a same night 
lay from a nightclub. You will have to build her attraction to 
you high enough to compel her to desire the risk. You must 
build comfort and rapport at this newer, deeper and riskier 
level of sexual engagement. You must be willing to handle 
ASD as it arises. And most importantly, you must be able to 
handle Last Minute Resistance from your woman exactly as if 
you just met her 3 hours before in a cafe. In a very real sense, 
you are meeting a new woman\ Certainly, you are meeting an as- 
pect of her personality that is previously unknown to you. She 
must always feel the emotional security that comes from being 
with a man who truly loves women. 



190 



19 Male Qualities Attractive to Women 



A pretty man came to me 

Never seen eyes so blue 

I could not run away 

It seemed we'd seen each other in a dream 

It seemed like he knew me 

— Magic Man, by Heart 



"TOW you know all about how the female mind works! 
In fact, you know things about feminine psychol- 
ogy that very, very few men will ever know. Expe- 
rienced ladies men may know a lot of these things 
subconsciously, but never before has the true nuts and bolts of 
the female brain been laid out for you in such a way as we have 
done in this book. 

Now, it's time to take a look at ourselves as men. It's one thing to 
understand what motivates women and what gets them sexu- 
ally aroused. It's quite another matter to actually be a man who 
is sexually appealing to women. So let's take a good, long look 
in the mirror and find where we can improve ourselves as men 
who love women deeply. 



Looks 



Do you think that women care a lot about a man's looks? Before 
we answer that question, here's another: have you ever seen a 
woman being drawn to a particular man and found yourself 
scratching your head in amazement? You look at the guy, and 
you think to yourself, "That guy is as ugly as home-made sin, 
what in the world does she see in him?."^ While many good 
looking men have beautiful women in their lives, many do not. 

Good looks can, in fact, hinder your success with women. A 

'Joseph: I recall many such experiences while growing up. I would say to 
myself, "it can't be his looks, he's very ugly! At least by the standards I've seen 
on television. What is going on here?" It took me years to understand what 
was really going on. 



Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4^ 



very good looking, handsome, or dapper man is expected to be 
an expert with women. Such a man lacking expert qualities suf- 
fers under the label of "creepy." This is due to a phenomenon 
called congruence. A man who looks like he is good with wo- 
men should be good with women. This is a situation that wors- 
ens with age. Really good-looking, younger guys can get away 
with quite a bit, especially with older women who find such 
naive incongruence to be cute or charming. Furthermore, with- 
out very careful calibration, women who cannot match you in 
looks may well refuse your advances, feeling that all a good- 
looking guy would want with her is easy sex. Thus, whether 
you look like a male model or not, you need game to consis- 
tently get what you want! 

What one woman finds attractive is often another woman's 
definition of dog food. It's that subjecive. We have also discov- 
ered that when it comes to looks, men put priority on different 
facets than women do. Of course, women prefer tall men with 
muscular bodies, right? However, if a man possesses certain 
other attributes besides just good looks, what we will call Al- 
pha Attributes, he will actually be rated as better looking by the 
women in the study. Conversely men who appear ^ good look- 
ing in photographs, will later be ranked several points lower 
on the looks scale if they are deficient in the Alpha Attributes. 



Alpha Atributes 

Before we discuss some of the Alpha Attributes that you will 
want to cultivate in yourself, let's posit for now that good looks 
are a somewhat of a help in your success with women. If you 
are naturally good looking, you might have a certain advan- 
tage at the outset, and we won't deny that. However, as you 
will soon discover, there are other qualities that you must have 
which are far more important. 

In Chapter 4 (Female Basic Conflict), we examined in detail 
how, instinctually, women have two primary needs when it 

^Women will tell you these men "look good on paper." 



192 



Alpha Atributes 



comes to selecting a mate. First, they need a man with fierce, 
strong genes to mate with. This is where sexual attraction comes 
into play. Women also need emotional and financial support 
during times of pregnancy and childbirth and through the in- 
fancy of the child. True, modern society has conferred many 
benefits onto women such that they usually no longer need 
a specific man to fulfill the role of "provider." Whether con- 
sciously or unconsciously, however, women will typically view 
a man as either a potential Lover, or a potential Provider, or 
some combination of these two types. It is crucial to under- 
stand this distinction, which all women make with the men in 
their lives. 

What then, about material wealth? Well, whether you are a 
Lover or a Provider, having wealth will certainly help you with 
your goals in life. But again, like good looks, it is not even a 
primary criteria for attracting a woman sexually. (Recall from 
Chapter 7 — Female Archetypes — that a Materialista is a wo- 
man who is not motivated by sexual attraction but by money 
or material possessions). 

It is true that we are constantly bombarded with media im- 
ages telling us that a man on one knee who has just spent three 
month's worth of his salary to buy a stone for a woman is what 
makes him sexually attractive. And we know that both men 
and women love to receive gifts. But demonstrating that you 
put your woman on a pedestal, or displaying your capability 
as a potential Provider, is not at all the same thing as cooking 
up sexual attraction within a woman. As you will soon dis- 
cover, sexual attraction does not get sparked within a woman 
based on the size of your bank account or even by your genuine 
displays of love towards her. 

A man's ability to generate and grow wealth does in fact signal 
the presence of other, more important qualities within the man, 
such as leadership, intelligence, survivability and so forth. 

What is an "Alpha" male? According to dictionary.com. Al- 
pha Male simply refers to a man who is the dominant member 
within a group of males. Women are irresistibly drawn to the 
Alpha Male. It's instinctual: a woman cannot help but feel deep 



193 



A Joseph <0> David ^ Franco ^ 



sexual attraction when she is in the presence of an Alpha Male. 
Her instincts signal to her that he is a leader of men, he is a 
survivor. He is so strong that competition from other males — 
which is a reality in life — does not phase him at all, in fact, he 
thrives on it. Her evolutionary instincts signal unmistakably 
that this is a man she would like to mate with. In plain English, 
we say "he makes her horny." 

Naturally, then, we will want to cultivate the traits of an Al- 
pha Male. More than just putting on an act, we must become 
the Alpha Male. We've already explained in great detail how 
a woman will test you to see whether you are putting on an 
act or if you are the real deal. To become an Alpha Male can 
sometimes take years of practice and study, but great improve- 
ments can be made starting today, as soon as you set this book 
down on your coffee table. What, then, are some of the key 
characteristics of the Alpha Male? 

Impudence is the most tell-tale trait of the Alpha Male: that 
ability to raise a finger, saluting the absurdity of life, and face 
the consequences with a smile or smirk. Another way in which 
we demonstrate impudence is by displaying our ability to take 
a woman sexually. Everyone knows that heterosexual men like 
to have sex with beautiful women, but due to society's con- 
straints and that mental illness that we've referred to earlier as 
the Madonna/whore Complex, men hold back."* Such men act 
overly polite and gentlemanly, so as not to offend the woman's 
supposed delicate sensibilities. The impudent man, on the other 
hand, takes what he wants. An impudent man is not intimidated 
by beauty and is not afraid to create the circumstances to entice 
a beautiful woman into willing submission. 

Sexual Confidence Another reason why being a sexually con- 
fident male is attractive to women is because it demonstrates 
that you have sexual competence. Women don't want to just 
have sex; they can get plain old sex anywhere and any time. 
What women do want, what women intensely crave, is great 
sex. We are confident about the things we know we are good 
at. Therefore, when we display sexual confidence, we are send- 

^ "Taking" a beautiful woman is not an endorsement for forced sex any more 
than capitalism is an endorsement for bank robbery. 



194 



Alpha Atributes 



ing a powerful message to the woman: we know what we are 
doing and we kiiow how to blow her mind! That's instantly 
attractive to a woman. 

Voice Quality. We defer to popular authority on this one: "US 
researchers got 149 men and women to rate the attractiveness 
of a series of recorded voices. They found the most appealing 
voices belonged to people who had sex at an earlier age, had 
more sexual partners and were more prone to infidelity." * We 
refuse to speculate whether voice quality is cause or effect! 

Leader of IVIen, Protector of Women. When you demonstrate 
that you understand the potential danger a woman faces if she 
acts out sexually, and that you are a man that can shield her 
from those consequences, then you are naturally going to be 
attractive to her. Most women are not impressed by a man who 
finds himself in bar fights or other unnecessary physical alter- 
cations. But she will want to know she is safe with you and that 
you're not afraid to act in cases where it's absolutely necessary. 
It's really important to recognize that rushing to a woman's de- 
fense is rarely necessary. A man who doesn't understand this 
subtle point is going to create the opposite effect in women to 
what he intends. 

Mission and Honor. Take away from a man his mission and 
his honor, take away from him the feeling that he is useful 
to his women and his children, and you kill him emotionally. 
Men understand instinctively that without respect, there is no 
chance for love. As a man, you'll want to be steadfast in your 
mission in life, whatever you might choose for that to be. And 
you'll want to be sure that your principles and your mission in 
life is without compromise, especially in cases where a woman 
might try to divert you from them. A woman really doesn't 
want a man to give up his mission or compromise his honor 
for her, but she is interested to know if a man will easily be led 
to do so. 

Decisiveness has many aspects, the most notable of which is 
the ability to make an appropriate decision when under men- 
tal, emotional or physical stress. This could be called "Decisive 

*http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3665246.stm 



195 



Jl» Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4^ 



Leadership" and has a very important place in relationships. 

Dominance and Social Status 

Male Sexual Dominance is a complex of behavioral responses 
from a man meant to lead the woman and her emotions into 
sex. Male Sexual Dominance is actually an important precondi- 
tion for a woman to become sexually aroused. The "Cocky and 
Funny" attitude, popularized by David DeAngelo, is a pattern 
of behavior that constitutes sexual dominance over the female, 
without the need for physical dominance. This style of behavior 
does indeed elicit sexual arousal in females. By withdrawing 
rapport from the female, and by displaying a cocky but funny 
or playful attitude, the male is behaving in a sexually dominant 
way and is thereby able to arouse the female sexually. 

Just as visual stimulus is a great factor in increasing a man's 
sexual desire, a man's social status has a tremendous impact on 
female sexual desire. This means that a certain characteristic in 
the male elicits a certain neurobiological response in the recip- 
ient. 

Of course, the fact that women will respond preferentially to 
men displaying the traits indicative of high mate value does 
not imply that women consciously appraise men through the 
sharp eye of material pragmatism in every case. 

When a woman experiences feelings of sexual attraction, she is 
not, at a conscious level, plotting a reproductive strategy de- 
signed to maximize the representation of her genes in future 
generations. Rather, she is probably simply experiencing sex- 
ual desire for the man in question. This desire may or may 
not enhance her reproductive success in the milieu where it is 
experienced. 



196 



Practical Advice 



Practical Advice 

When you start to apply the counsel in this book and adopt the 
traits of the alpha male, you will find that competition among 
women for your time and company can in fact become quite 
fierce. As men who have made such a transformation, we can 
tell you first hand that you will experience astonishment at the 
reactions you begin to receive from women, along with a deep 
sense of satisfaction. 

Warning! women will test you, and test you hard. As we have 
discussed, females have a biological imperative to select only 
the best males to have sexual relationships with. Therefore, 
quite simply, women will test you in order to determine whether 
you truly possess those Alpha traits or are just a fake, only pre- 
tending to be an Alpha Male. A woman becomes consciously 
aware that she is in the presence of an attractive male, but at 
the same time her instincts drive her to make certain choices. 
Therefore, these tests will be both conscious and subconscious 
from the woman's perspective. 

The important thing is to recognize these tests when they come, 
and to not take them personally in a negative way. The testing 
is "personal," in the sense that they are directed at you, but the 
good news is that it generally means that the woman likes you 
and has at least some attraction for you. Why? Because if she 
were not attracted to you, she wouldn't bother spending any 
time with you at all! 

Men that are orbiters will generally say that their relationships 
with these women are generally good and that they cannot un- 
derstand why she is not attracted sexually when they "do ev- 
erything for her." What such a man has missed is that the wo- 
man has already tested him and found him lacking as a sexual 
being. He is now in the role of male girlfriend, or benefactor, 
and as long as he maintains that role, she has no reason to argue 
with him or test him as a sexual male. She will, of course, still 
test him from time to time to ensure that the dinners, drinks 
and emotional comfort are always available to her. 

Since testing is so closely related to the mechanisms controlling 



197 



A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ♦ 



sexual attraction, it is important to remember that testing never 
ends. Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within the 
relationship is important. Some of the ways in which the au- 
thors of this book maintain attraction with our mates are: 

• Regular, social interaction with men who are attractive to 
women. Uncalibrated and unattractive men induce the 
risk of socially awkward situations and won't help you 
to mature into a more attractive man. 

• Clear demonstration of physical leadership in our daily 
lives. We are each living our lives in a manner congruent 
with our beliefs, with gusto and without apology. 

• Regular, social interaction with other attractive females. 
Women are social creatures, and will derive emotional 
satisfaction from being with a man capable of being with 
a variety of women. 

Normal, social interactions with attractive women are critical 
for several reasons. Within the hothouse of a relationship, in- 
teractions between men and women can assume bizarre and 
ultimately unhealthy forms without socially calibrating expe- 
riences with normal, healthy women outside the relationship. 
Direct, personal feedback from women allows us to calibrate 
our behavior within the relationship. When we are passing tests 
thrown by women outside the relationship, we have a baseline 
for our own behavior inside the relationship. For those of you 
who enjoy jealous women (we do not), this could inspire a cer- 
tain amount of jealously, which also increases attraction, so cal- 
ibrate accordingly. 

Men, note well: encourage your woman to maintain normal, 
regular social interaction with males of her acquamtance. If 
you are the man of her dreams, her Prince, you have nothing 
to fear. 



198 



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ula E. Burki, Elizabeth S. Ginsburg, Raymond C. Rosen, 
Sandra R. Leiblum, Kim E. Caramelli, Norman A. Mazer, 
Kirtley P. Jones, and Claire A. Daugherty. Transdermal 
testosterone treatment in women with impaired sexual 
function after oophorectomy. N Engl } Med., 343(10):682- 
688, 2000. 

[35] Anatoly Protopopov. The treatise of 

love, as it is recognized by awful bore. 
http://www.geocities.com/protopop_1999/treatise.html 
(second edition, 1999. 

[36] Theresa L. Crenshaw. The Alchemy of Love and Lust. Put- 
nam Pub Group, 1996. 

[37] James Allen. As a Man Thinketh. DeVorss & Company, P.O. 
Box 1389, Camarillo CA 93011-1389, 1902. 

[38] Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed. The Art of Mackin. Research As- 
sociates School Times Publications, 751 East 75th Street, 
Chicago, IL 60619, 2000. 

[39] Michael J. Bader. Arousal : the secret logic of sexual fan- 
tasies. Thomas Dunne Books, St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth 
Avenue, New York, NY 10010, 2002. 

[40] Mickey Royal. The Pimp Game : an instructional manual. 
Mikail Sharif, 1998. 



202 



Bibliography 



[41] Neil Strauss. The Game : penetrating the secret society of 
pickup artists. HarperCollins, 10 East 53rd Street, New 
York, NY 10022, 2005. 

[42] Leil Lowndes. How to be a people magnet : finding friends 
and lovers and keeping them for life. McGraw-Hill, Two Penn 
Plaza, New York, NY 10121-2298, 2001. 

[43] Terry Gould. The Lifestyle. Random House Canada, 1999. 

[44] Jack Morin. The Erotic Mind. HarperCollins, 10 East 53rd 
Street, New York, NY 10022, 1995. 

[45] Paradise. 21st Century Fox, Space Age Pimping. Infinite 
Dreams, RO. Box 63, Buxton, SK17 9XH, Great Britain, 
2001. 

[46] Erving Goffman. Interaction Ritual. Doubleday & Com- 
pany, Inc., 1967. 

[47] Julius Fast. Social Intelligence. Simon & Schuster, Inc., 1230 
Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020, 1970. 

[48] Jayne Ann Krentz. Dangerous men & adventurous women : 
romance writers on the appeal of the romance. University of 
Pennsylvania Press, Philadelphia, PA 19104-6005, 1992. 

[49] Brian Tracy and Ron Arden. The Power of Charm. Amacom, 
American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New 
York, NY 10019, 2006. 

[50] Daniel Goleman. Social Intelligence. Bantam Dell, Random 
House, New York, NY, 2006. 



203 



A Glossary of Terms 

Subcommunication: The underlying or implied meaning be- 
hind direct communication. Women's favored method of com- 
munication with each other and with members of the opposite 
sex. 

Betaization: The process by which a man loses his leadership 
position to the female in the relationship. This can happen sud- 
denly or imperceptibly over time. Women are unconsciously 
driven towards this process; they will inexorably lose sexual 
attraction for the man who allows this process to continue vm- 
abated. 

LTR: A long-term relationship with an expectation of monogamy 
between the man and the woman. 

MLTR: Multiple long-term relationships. Similar to LTR, ex- 
cept without monogamy; there is the possibility or reality of 
other, simultaneous relationships for either the man or the wo- 
man or both of them. 

EFA; The Early Frame Announcement. A woman's subcom- 
municated declaration, very early on in the relationship, of her 
inflexible terms for the relationship. 

Female Logic: Women have a unique method of communicat- 
ing emotions that is often baffling to men. Neurological stud- 
ies and especially our own field experience have demonstrated 
that men and women use different parts of the brain to reach 
conclusions on important matters, and that our primary goals 
when it comes to dating and mating can often be in conflict. 

Magic Pussy Syndrome (MPS): The belief that because a wo- 
man possesses a pussy, she is entitled to special privileges at 
other people's expense. This is an endemic cultural phenome- 
non in modern, western society. 

Good Girl: A woman whose primary motivation when it comes 
to relationships with men is the relationship itself. 

Adventuress: A woman who is primarily concerned with male 
attention and validation, and her own selfish pleasure. 

Materialista: A woman who is primarily concerned with the 



A Joseph <0> David ^ Franco 4 



Bibliography 



material benefits she can derive from her relationships with 
men. 

HD: High Sex Drive. A woman with a higher-than-average sex 
drive. 

LD: Low Sex Drive. A woman with a lower-than-average sex 
drive. 

HSE: High Self Esteem. A woman with a high level of Basic 
Trust. 

LSE: Low Self Esteem. A woman with a low level of Basic 
Trust. 

Basic Trust: An degree of inner sureness that a person has that 
their inner and external worlds will be safe and happy places 
for them, as opposed to places of turmoil and unmanageable 
conflict. 

AB Indecision: The presentation of two or more choices — 
both equally agreeable to the man — which are then disquali- 
fied by the woman on emotional rather than logical grounds. 



206 



PRACTICAL 
FEMALE 
PSYCHOLOGY 

for the Practical Man 



Joseph W. South 
David Clare 
Franco 



Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man is a unique 
examination of women and relationships in an era of material 
equality between the sexes. Despite vast gains in the welfare 
of women, especially in the modern West, both men and 
women are finding relationships ranging from dating to 
marriage increasingly difficult. The authors draw upon cutting 
edge science in evolutionary biology, and neuropsychology, 
and vast personal experience with women to distill some 
simple and practical principles men will find useful for 
creating and maintaining relationships with emotionally (and 
sexually) compatible women. 



In an ideal world, a man would profit from another's wisdom 
so he could be successful in relationships from a young age, 
but in modern society he's misinformed and therefore his 
relationships are sabotaged before they even start. Here, 
Joseph, David and Franco provide a guide to having successful 
relationships with real advice that works in the real 
world. - Paradise, author of "21st Century Fox - Space Aqe 
Pimping." 



In an ideal world, a man would profit from another's wisdom 
so he could be successful in relationships from a young age, 
but in modem society he's misinformed and therefore his re- 
lationships are sabotaged before they even start. Here, Franco, 
Joseph and David provide a guide to having successful rela- 
tionships with real advice that works in the real world. 
— Paradise, author of 21st Century Fox: Space Age Pimping 



More great publications from Real Modern Man and affiliates. 

Joseph W. South 

The Joseph W. South Show! 
josephwentsouth.com 

Franco Seduction 

Manual of Seduction 
. francoseduction.com 



realmodemman.com 



Practical Female Psychology 

for the Practical Man 



J(t Joseph 0 David 'v' Franco 4^ 



Real Modern Man Inc 



Published by Real Modern Man Inc and Matrix Nova Tmi. 

Copyright © 2008 Real Modern Man Inc, Clare Communications, 
and Franco Seduction. Ail Rights Reserved. 

Revision 640 

Published June 18, 2008 

DISCLAIMER: The material in this book is provided for entertainment 
purposes only. Use of this material hy the reader is done solely at his or her 
own discretion and risk. The authors and editors do not accept any legal 
responsibility for such use. The reader understands and agrees that the 
information contained herein does not constitute medical advice. The 
material within is not a substitute for psychiatric treatment, psychological 
counseling, or any other type medical or professional treatment. The reader 
hereby agrees to hold harmless the authors, editors and publishers of this 
hook from any liability or harm arising out of reading this book or any 
attempt to apply the knowledge contained herein. All readers are responsible 
for any use or misuse of the material presented in this work. 

NO WARRANTY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED IS MADE FROM THIS 
WORK. 

Illustrations: Free Documentation licensed illustrations from 
Wikipedia are used in this book. 

SCN: Spartan Thunder 



iv 



The authors dedicate the work to the man serious about women, who 
is willing to examine his own life to determine "Is what I have what 
I really want?" And who is ready and willing to take action, 
immediately. 

The authors also dedicate this work to the women in their lives, past 
present and future. Those mothers, sisters, friends and girlfriends, 
dates, lovers, flings, partners, wives and all those women who have 
been our inspiration, our muses throughout our lives. We hope that 
the man or men in your lives are, or will learn to he, your every 
thought of a man. 

Joseph W. South: In particular, I dedicate this book to Olivia, who in 
three wonderful years has taught me a great deal about patience, 
empathy, and sensitivity to the feminine spirit. 



Acknowledgments 



We especially thank all the men we have met who have become 
determined to "get this part of my life handled" and who have 
graciously and freely shared an enormous amount of experi- 
ence with the authors. 

We are deeply grateful to numerous academic scholars as well 
as several members of the seduction community; people who 
have dedicated their lives to the understanding of the female 
mind and body and to sharing their wisdom with their fellow 
man. 



vii 



Contents 



About the Authors xvii 

Introduction xxiii 

This Book is for You xxiv 

Our Motivation xxvii 

How to Read this Book xxvii 

1 The Role of Evolution 1 

Sexual Selection 2 

Evolutionary Psychology 3 

Altruism and Selfishness 4 

Practical Advice 6 

2 Female Neuropsychology 9 

Language and Female Sexual Arousal 10 

Female Need for Communication 11 

Mutual Gazing 11 

Female Blueprint 12 

Passivity and Receptiveness 13 

Body Language and Sexual Arousal 14 

Practical Advice 14 

3 Female Logic Explained 17 

The Calculus of Emotion 18 

Biological and Psychological Factors 19 

Emotional Awareness 20 

Practical Advice 21 

Flip the Script 22 

Some In-Field Examples of Female Logic .... 23 

ix 



Lead Her Emotions 24 

Meta-emotions 26 

4 Female Basic Conflict 29 

The Lover-Provider Dichotomy 29 

The Lover 30 

The Provider 30 

Dissociation 31 

Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider 32 

Female Projection 34 

Female Ambivalence 34 

Practical Advice 35 

5 Female Subcommunication 37 

Basis for Subcommunication 38 

Phenomenology of Female Subcommunication . 40 

Effect of Subcommunication on tine Male Brain . 41 

Real-Life Experience 43 

She is Keeping her Options Open 44 

Be that Man 45 

Cultivate Discretion 46 

Subcommunication in the Workplace 47 

Talk Like a Man 48 

Practical Advice 48 

An Example 50 

6 The Magic Pussy Syndrome 53 

Recognizing MPS 53 

Origins of MPS 56 

Pussy Trance 57 



X 



Practical Advice 58 

7 Female Archetypes 61 

The Adventuress 62 

The Materialista 62 

The Good Girl 63 

Sex Drive and Self Esteem 63 

High Sex Drive 64 

Low Sex Drive 64 

High Self-Esteem 65 

Low Self-Esteem 65 

Two Modern Archetypes 65 

The Situational Ten 65 

The Eternally Single Woman 66 

Practical Advice 67 

8 Screening for the Archetypes 69 

The Good Girl 70 

The HSE Case 70 

The LSE Case 71 

The Adventuress 72 

The HSE Case 73 

The LSE Case 73 

The Materialista 74 

The HSE Case 76 

The LSE Case 76 

Practical Advice 77 

9 Female Self Esteem 79 

Basic Trust 80 

xi 



The Early Frame Announcement 80 

Relationship with Sexuality 81 

Internal Beliefs of the HSE woman 82 

Internal Beliefs of the LSE woman 83 

How LSE and HSE Women Test Men Differently 83 

Awareness of Her Own Sexuality 84 

LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests 85 

The LSE Threshold Test 85 

Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 86 

Presenting Yourself as Free-Minded 87 

Testing her Level of Self-Esteem 88 

The Tendency towards Self-Destructiveness ... 89 

Practical Advice 90 

10 Screening: HSE vs. LSE Women 93 

Gender Differences with Screening 93 

Poor Screening: Two Classic Examples 95 

More Examples of Poor Screening 95 

What should I Screen for? 96 

How she treats you 97 

How to Screen Effectively 98 

Eliciting Values 99 

Compliance 100 

The LSE Threshold Test 100 

The Double Bind 101 

Practical Advice 102 

11 Stages of Manipulation 105 

Stages of Female Manipulation 107 

Testing the Male 107 

xii 



Seeking Communication 109 

Putting Him to Work 110 

Female Evolutionary Selfishness 110 

Female Self-Determination Ill 

Manipulation End-Game 112 

Practical Advice 113 

Testing 113 

Seeking Communication 114 

Being Put to Work 115 

Evolutionary Selfishness 115 

Self-Determination 116 

12 Root Causes of Conflict 117 

Root Causes of Conflict 117 

Improper Screening 118 

Female Integrity 118 

The Early Frame Announcement 119 

Subcommunicating the EFA 120 

Detecting a Woman's EFA 121 

Some Examples of the EFA 122 

Setting Proper Boundaries 124 

Practical Advice 125 

13 Female Manipulation 127 

Double Bind 127 

Description of the Double Bind 128 

An Example of a Double Bind in Action . 129 

Practical Advice: Breaking the Double Bind . . . 131 

AB Indecision 133 

Bait and Switch 135 

xiii 



Detecting the Bait and Switch 136 

Ambush 137 

Some Practical Help: Focus on the Process .... 139 

Jealousy 140 

Rich Descriptions 141 

Pouting and Whining 142 

Practical Advice: Taking Action 143 

14 Female Arousal and Sex Drive 145 

Biological Differences in Sexual Drive 145 

Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 146 

Low Drive Women 147 

High Drive Women 149 

Calibrating Sex Drive 150 

Self-Esteem Considerations 151 

The HSE/HD Woman 151 

The HSE/LD Woman 152 

The LSE/HD Woman 152 

The LSE/LD Woman 153 

Verbal Stimulation 153 

Incipient Bisexuality 154 

Practical Advice 155 

Develop Masculine Sexual Leadership 156 

15 Last Minute Resistance 159 

Biological and Sociological Purposes of LMR . . 160 

Two types of LMR 162 

Dealing with LMR 162 

Preempting LMR 163 

The Rapo Game 164 

xiv 



16 The Madonna/whore Complex 167 

What is the Madonna /whore Complex? 168 

Where does it come from? 169 

Do I have the Complex? 171 

How can a Man Avoid Being Harmed by this 

Phenomenon? 172 

Love a Woman for Who She Is 172 

17 Dealing with the Madonna/whore 

Complex 175 

Understand Yourself 176 

Have a Realistic View of the Woman 178 

The Female View of Sex and Politics 179 

Case Study: The Pastor 179 

Case Study: The Sports Celebrity 180 

Case Study: The Prince 181 

18 The Anti-Slut Defense 183 

ASD in Seduction 183 

What is a "Slut", anyway? 185 

ASD in Long-Term Relationships 185 

Practical Advice 186 

Demonstrate Discretion 188 

Reducing ASD in LTRs 189 

19 Male Qualities Attractive to Women 191 

Looks 191 

Alpha Atributes 192 

Dominance and Social Status 196 

Practical Advice 197 



XV 



Glossary of Terms 



About the Authors 



David Clare 

I am in my mid-40s. I was married for eight years, in what is 
now referred to as a co-dependent relationship, to a woman I 
deeply loved. My exasperation and frustration with her behav- 
ior resulted in my losing attraction for her. I was unable to lead 
her effectively, but my strength of commitment to the sanctity 
of our marriage transcended what I considered to be relatively 
trivial concerns of sexual and emotional fulfillment. She left. 
I still believe, in the long-term scheme of things, considering 
the capriciousness that life deals us even in the best case, that 
the security, financial stability and deep caring that I gave her 
would have been to her best benefit. Had she stayed, I still 
believe we would have been able to work it out. 

Now that I understand a lot more about how women work, I 
won't ever be in such a situation again. I now have the tools 
to emotionally and sexually satisfy women. More importantly, 
I have the skills to ensure I choose women that sexually and 
emotionally satisfy me. I feel as if I am in paradise, living in 
a large urban area with large numbers of attractive, successful 
women, and so few men with the skill to excite their imagina- 
tions! 

Furthermore, I now have skills for managing different kinds 
of relationships. Not all women are high-speed-rail bound for 
matrimony at all costs, a tremendously self-limiting belief in- 
grained in the so-called "men's movement." Women are in- 
finitely more complex than that, and always have been, as au- 
thors such as Casanova delighted in telling us hundreds of 
years ago. That I choose to be in one form of relationship over 
another is my choice. 

Part of the motivation for pouring my energy into this book 
comes from disillusionment with the standard self-help ma- 
terial available on bookshelves everywhere. I could not find 
anything at all that offered a view of masculinity, which didn't 
involve me ultimately submitting to a point of view that felt 
emasculating and deeply unnatural. Applying the information 



Joseph <> David Franco ^ 



in those books did not help me save my marriage, and more 
importantly, it didn't help me to be a better person. 

I felt I had nowhere to turn, that is, until I found a group of men 
on the internet, united by a common delight in women. My 
experience was not unique! Other men were dealing with the 
exact same issues I was dealing with. Other men felt what I felt. 
Other men were tired of being a sympathetic, generous man 
being automatically spurned even by unattractive women! Can 
you feel me here? Ridiculous isn't it? 

Most importantly, 1 learned through applying "seduction tech- 
niques" that everything to do with "picking up chicks" applies 
just as well, if not more so, to women in relationships. Picking 
up different women requires learning a few basic skills which 
can be applied repetitively: same schtick, different chick. In 
a relationship, you are picking up the same woman, over and 
over and over again. Now that, friend, requires some A++, 
rock-solid, locked-on, hard core skills. 

And that's what we're all about. 

Joseph W. South 

I am in my late 30's. I am a single white male, divorced. Ac- 
cording to all the self-help books on dating and relationships, I 
have a lot going for me: good fashion sense, decent looks and 
financial independence. I am unusually kind, loving and car- 
ing. However, as I learned from reading such books as No More 
Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover, my abundant "niceness" 
was mostly just a facade covering over the real personality of a 
fairly aggravated man. 

Until recently, women were a complete mystery to me. What's 
worse, I believed that I actually understood women, despite ex- 
periencing a lot of frustration and lonely nights. I had no prob- 
lem finding a girlfriend, which was probably due in part to 
some of my qualities that I've listed above. But having lasting, 
happy relationships, and having a woman truly adore me for 
who I am in a lasting way is another matter. 

Five years after first stumbling across a David DeAngelo prod- 



xviu 



uct on the internet, I now date several women both in my home- 
town and abroad. Every one of these relationships are superior 
to any I had before, even to those prior occasions when I felt 
like I had found "the one." 

I now realize 1 can generate attraction and have a relationship 
with a wide variety of women; however, my standards have 
risen and 1 am much more selective about who I will get inti- 
mate with. Ironically, as my standards have risen, so too have 
my options. Beautiful women no longer intimidate me and I 
see that physical beauty is, in fact, very common. Now, I can 
focus on getting the type of relationship that I want, and I am 
not merely idolizing women's bodies like I used to. 

I have devoted my life to reading, studying, meeting people 
and entrepreneurial ventures. My father was a successful, self- 
made businessman who was plagued with confusion about wo- 
men and their nature right until his death. He would often 
complain to me and my siblings about ill treatment from his 
wife, and 1 could never understand why my father would re- 
main with a woman whom he obviously did not like. I silently 
vowed to myself to resolve once and for all the questions of 
relationships, sexual attraction, and achieving respect from the 
women 1 encounter in my life. I deeply believe that these are 
things that every man wants, and I have the passion and de- 
termination to find that for myself and to help other men to do 
the same. 

I now enjoy happy, sexual and platonic relationships with sev- 
eral women, with each woman's knowledge and consent. 

Franco 

1 am a man in his middle 40s and what many might consider 
to be a "bad guy." I am a businessman and also a medical pro- 
fessional in a field where I am in daily contact with the darkest 
and most tragic aspects of human nature. 

I have been since childhood what you would call a "Natural," 
as in a natural playboy: a man who likes to have sex and re- 
lationships with a lot of women, knows how to achieve that 
and feels no guilt feeling about it because it is for him com- 



xix 



Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



pletely natural. A Natural is a guy who belongs to a mostly- 
misunderstood sexual minority, just like gays or lesbians. A 
Natural is a guy who was never under the influence of the 
Madonna/whore complex and who has been loving multiple 
women since he was young. 

Usually, a Natural is not aware of being such, and that was my 
Karma until 1995 when, at the end of my former marriage, I 
slowly became conscious, in a rather tragic way, of the shocking 
fact that, given certain circumstances, I could be emotionally 
dangerous to women in this society, 

I realized at a certain point that I was emotionally dangerous to 
women because as a "Natural" I was not able nor I was moti- 
vated in the slightest way to repress my male sexual instinct, as 
many men do. I have found in my life that a man like me can 
be highly arousing to women, and at the same time put them 
in emotional danger. 

Many men make an agreement to giving up their own mas- 
culinity and sexuality in exchange for sex and affection. These 
men accept being emasculated by a woman whom they feel has 
taken the role of the Madonna in their life. 1 never did that; I 
just continuously went for what I wanted. In my life there were 
no "Madonnas" and there were no "whores," only women. I 
was unable to consider all women to be whores as many other 
men do. I simply loved all the women I had dealings with, and 
I am proud of it. 

As a Natural I was not completely conscious of the fact that lov- 
ing women for exactly who they are can even be emotionally 
dangerous in our society. When I realized that loving women in 
this way can in fact be emotionally dangerous, I decided that I 
would start to help other men to love women for who they are, 
without putting the women in emotional danger. 

Too many men do not see women for who they are. So many 
men could make a better life for themselves if they would come 
to understand the real nature of the female psyche, learn how 
to love women for who they are, and even help to make wo- 
men into better people. I have been in a wonderful position to 
get a deep understanding of these things, because throughout 



XX 



my life I have loved with all my heart and dedication women, 
especially those women your mother and father warned you 
about. 



More information 

The authors provide a wealth of resources in order to help you 
to apply this material and continuously enhance the richness of 
your relationships with women, including one-on-one coach- 
ing, audio programs, and other articles and books designed to 
help with specific aspects of male-female relationships. You 
may find out more about the authors and the products and ser- 
vices that they offer by visiting the following web sites: 

Real Modern Man: http://realmodernman.com/ 

David Clare: http:/ / appliedromance.com/ 

Franco: http: / / franco-seduction.com / 

Joseph W. South: http://josephwentsouth.com/ 



xxi 



Introduction 



The first rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight 
Club. — Tyler Durden, from the movie "Fight Club" 

UR book isn't for everyone. Some men are deeply an- 
gry, bitter or cynical about women in general; we 
can't help you. You must first let those destructive 
emotions dissipate. Such emotions are frightening 
to women, such that they actually produce a physical, instinc- 
tual response within her. Even a physically small man becomes 
a big, scary guy throwing a big, scary fit when he allows his 
angry emotions to run amok. Women have a biologically hard- 
wired panic reaction to such behavior, and they will avoid men 
exhibiting signs of it. 

Men who are happy in their marriages have little need for our 
material, although we guarantee they will read it and find them- 
selves saying, "Hey, that's what I do too!" And we believe that 
even happy men will find nuggets of wisdom that allow them 
to be more than just happy. We're talking real wisdom, that 
will allow men to absolutely delight the women in their lives 
and teach men to take their relationships to the next level. 

This book is for men who love women and want to improve 
their relationships with them and achieve maximum well-being 
for both parties. 

The Modem, Western Woman 

Men and women in our modem society have become emo- 
tionally and psychologically distant from each other. In some 
countries — such as the United States and western Europe — 
the situation has worsened. Women today have far greater 
civil rights than men, yet continue to engage in political bat- 
tles against men whom they view as their common oppressor. 
This process creates resentment in men, who feel that they are 
no longer being appreciated as fathers and husbands. Many 
men react to this by engaging in infidelity with other women 




4k Joseph <> David P Franco ^ 



(or even men!) and/or withdrawing from their responsibilities 
as fathers and husbands. 

The modem, western woman is free to explore as wide of a 
range of sexual experience as she desires, with very little risk 
to her physical health and safety. However, women are still 
subject to the dictates of biology, which have evolved over mil- 
lions of years, and women still suffer from culturally-induced 
biases that hinder them from truly enjoying their sexuality. In 
this book, we will demonstrate vividly the ramifications of both 
biology and culture on the modem woman, and we will show 
you how to help her to overcome these biases, for the rich en- 
joyment of both of you. 



This Book is for You 

If women seem mysterious to you, it simply indicates your lack 
of experience or knowledge, nothing more. It's nothing to be 
ashamed of, but it is something to rectify. 

For men who find women a complete mystery, there is hope: 
much of female behavior can be predicted, as Franco is famous 
for saying, "with mathematical precision!" Think about it. The 
average college woman has dated many men, perhaps 6 or 12, 
or possibly (almost certainly) many more. She has a wealth of 
resources at her disposal for dealing with men, ranging from 
gossip with friends and coworkers, to shelves of books in the 
bookstore, to any of dozens of magazines such as Cosmopolitan; 
all of these dedicated to the art of maintaining attraction and 
connection with men. What do men enjoy that's comparable? 
Nothing! And in the realm of divorce, custody and domestic 
violence law, today's woman almost always enjoys far more 
rights than any man does. 

The majority of men today do not possess very many tools 
that work effectively when it comes to understanding and deal- 
ing with the opposite sex. Go ahead and take a visit to your 
local bookstore. Browse the books on relationships, and the 
books authored by women purporting to tell you "what wo- 



xxiv 



This Book is for You 



men want" and "how to treat women." Does this stuff actually 
work? Well, with divorce rates at an all-time high, with divi- 
sions between the sexes even more pronounced than ever, we 
would have to say "no, it does not work!". In our own personal 
.experience, the prevailing, mainstream dating and relationship ad- 
vice does not ivorkl However, once you unravel the mysteries 
of suhcommunication with our help, you will read these books 
in a whole different light. Very much like reading between the 
lines, you will begin to see that what women say isn't exactly 
what they mean, at least not in terms of male language. You 
must pay attention to how women say what they say — and 
equally importantly — to what they have left unsaid. As we 
will show, these same books can actually become a gold mine 
of information once a man understands how to use these re- 
sources properly. 

When relationships are handled properly, modem, western wo- 
men provide men with unparalleled opportunity for personal 
growth and enrichment. Women today have more money, more 
power, and more education than at any time in history. Many 
women today can completely financially support a man and a 
family. Women can train their minds and develop their bodies 
to help even the score physically with men, and therefore can be 
in less danger from physical assault than ever before in history. 

The basis of our book is the celebration of femininity and fe- 
male sexuality. We absolutely adore women! All three of us, 
in our everyday lives, are passionate lovers of women, both in- 
side and outside the bedroom. However, we do not worship 
women. We simply treat them as truly equal partners, and in- 
sist that they act as responsible adults in their interactions with 
us. We — along with the women with us — get what we need 
and want out of our relationships. As importantly, we have 
learned to choose women receptive to what we are able to bring 
to relationships. With most women, we step up to the leader- 
ship position that we naturally posess as men — which most 
women absolutely crave, whether they admit to that or not. 



XXV 



Joseph 0 David Franco 4 



Setting the Stage 

Have you ever met a man who says of his wife, "She's the 
boss!"? No doubt you have, and no doubt you've noticed that 
when a man says something Hke this, he means it, as if his wife 
figuratively carries his balls in her purse. Do you find this sort 
of thing to be vaguely (or extremely) alarming? We certainly 
do, for many, many reasons. 

Fundamentally, we find this type of situation alarming because, 
in our actual, real world experience with women, such men 
are invariably less than delighted with their marriages. At the 
same time these men feel powerless. They also suspect, often 
quite correctly, that their wives don't really respect them. Ask 
any one of these men, "Hey, how's sex with the wife?" and 
most likely you will get answers ranging from "Sex? What's 
that?" to a hostile "That's none of your fucking business." In our 
experience, we rarely meet the man who smiles, saying "She 
treats me well." 

You've probably experienced a similar pattern when it comes 
single men. Of course, there are single men that have happy 
and vibrant sex lives. But teenage boys and young men are of- 
ten taught through locker room antics that it's ok and even a 
lot of fun to brag about sexual conquests that are exaggerated, 
and that many times, never even happened. And then there are 
other men who begin a relationship and enjoy incredible sex at 
the beginning, only to find that over time, the sex diminishes 
as the woman's emotional demands increase. You may have 
even experienced the pain that comes when you love your girl- 
friend so much and would do anything to please her, and yet 
the harder you try, the more distant she gets. This can be ex- 
tremely frustrating for a man. 

We are here to tell you: It doesn't have to be this way! 

We will show you throughout the pages of this book how you 
can escape all manner of emotional traps and manipulation. 
We will teach you ways of changing yourself, thus allowing you 
to lead yourself into a happy future with an adoring woman. 
We give you practical advice every step of the way, with real 



xxvi 



Our Motivation 



i 



examples drawn from our personal experiences. 



Our Motivation 

So, why did we decide to write this book about women, any- 
way? We want to help our fellow men to understand, appre- 
ciate and love women for who and what they are. We want to 
destroy a myth: the myth that women cannot be understood. 
Women can be understood, as Franco likes to say "with mathe- 
matical precision," and women can be loved for who they are, 
with the greatest love. We want to share with you what we have 
found actually works with happy women in our lives, women 
who do indeed treat us well. 

When the three of us met each other for the first time and be- 
came friends, one thing was clear from the start: all of us love 
women for the wonderful human beings that they are. Each of 
us consider it most important to unconditionally love women for 
who women are, rather than who we would naively wish them to he. 



How to Read this Book 

Throughout this book, we repeatedly share our beliefs about 
women and female behavior. We are much less concerned with 
proving any irrefutable truth than we are with the efficacy of 
our beliefs. The framework we present is based on biologi- 
cal and evolutionary principles, but we don't insist on causal- 
ity. These principles simply provide a coherent structure upon 
which to hang our experience with women, and our observa- 
tions of women's behavior. 

Each chapter describes a key component in the panorama of 
practical female psychology, yet each chapter is inter-related. 
To get the most out of this book, you may find the need to read 
it more than once. We use many broad generalizations to iso- 
late and precisely describe various facets of female behavior. 



xxvii 



Ht Joseph 0 David Z> Franco ^ 



The reader must understand that applying any broad general- 
ization to a specific woman requires calibrating the principle to 
the women at hand. No one woman embodies a stereotype, yet 
all women share common traits in greater or lesser degree. 

We wish all of you a wonderful journey during your reading 
of this book. We sincerely hope that this book will be of help 
to many, many men the world over, as they strive for their life- 
long, natural desire to make the women that they love exceed- 
ingly happy. 



xxviii 



1 The Role of Evolution 



whatever is done from Jove always occurs beyond good 
and evil. — Beyond Good and Evil, Friedrich Niet- 
zsche 



ARWIN proposed that evolution proceeded by both 
natural selection and sexual selection. The tenets of 
natural selection have been exhaustively studied for 
more than a century, and we assume the reader has 
at least a passing acquaintance with this subject. In contrast, 
the formal study of evolution driven by sexual selection, espe- 
cially in humans, has been virtually ignored, possibly due to 
social prudery with respect to the subject of sex. Sex is a messy 
business after all. The result of such research could be person- 
ally unsettling and socially risky. 

Nevertheless, the problem of "sex" remains. 

VV/jy sex evolved is especially problematic.^ It turns out that at- 
tempting to explain mating behavior simply by means of sur- 
vival is too naive, resulting in theories showing that asexual 
reproduction is more advantageous. Clearly, such theories are 
in error! Thus Darwin's distinction between natural selection 
and sexual selection must be reconsidered. 

Our interest in the "why" of sex results from curiosity, whether 
or not our experience and observation of the courtship and 
mating behavior of a wide variety of women support the tenets 
of evolutionary psychology in general, and sexual selection in 
particular. 

Furthermore, we see no hard distinction between the biological 
and the psychological aspects of the human being, but we con- 
sider them both as expressions of a whole. If you, the reader, 
are mystified in the matter of female relationships, some of the 
material we present in this book may seem to you to be very 
far from reality. However, when you observe the principles in 
action, you will begin to understand that female behavior and 
female psychology are both perfectly understandable. 




'The "how" of sex, that swapping of genetic material, is well-understood. 



ilt Joseph 0 David Z> Franco 4 



This chapter will help you to understand some of the founda- 
tional psychological principles upon which male-female rela- 
tionships are played out on a more biological and behavioral 
level in real life. These principles help explain a wide range 
of female behavior we discuss through the book. We'll start 
with sexual selection, then discuss evolutionary psychology, 
and close with some important points about altruism and self- 
ishness as defined from an evolutionary perspective. 



Sexual Selection 

Selection refers to heritable traits that remain in — and have 
spread through — a population, because those traits served to 
increase the rate of reproduction of the organisms embodying 
those traits. Heritability refers to genetically-determined traits, 
which vary in their expression within a population. For exam- 
ple, we will refer to the female's manipulative skills, her degree 
of sexual desire, her mate-selecting skills, and so on. Variation 
refers to a state in which there exists a variety of genetically- 
determined traits within a population. 

Sexual Selection can be divided into two main categories: inter- 
sexual selection, representing choices made with the opposite 
sex, and /nfra-sexual selection, representing choices made with 
respect to competition with the same sex. 

Inter-sexual selection refers to the traits that one sex generally 
prefers in the opposite sex, such as leadership qualities, big 
muscles, impudence, aggressive behavior, and so on. (See Chap- 
ter 19, "Male Qualities Attractive to Women" for some practi- 
cal tips on how to cultivate some of these key attributes within 
yourself). For example, a woman of a lower social level can eas- 
ily identify survival with the skills for physical work at home, 
and she therefore may prefer a man who posesses good skills 
for physical labour. A woman of a higher social level, on the 
other hand, may identify survival more with leadership qual- 
ities and impudence, and therefore may prefer a man who is 
able to put himself in the position of being the leader of other 



2 



Evolutionary Psychology 



Intm-se\ua\ selection refers to competition occurring among 
the members of the same sex for mating access to the opposite 
sex. For example, it has been observed that a woman's sex- 
ual arousal can increase when she becomes aware that she is 
in the presence of a man who is sexually attractive to women 
in general. In other words, men who are successful with wo- 
men tend to naturally attract more women to them merely as a 
result of their being attractive to other women. What is hap- 
pening in this case is that the female evolutionary system has 
detected the man as being fitter for survival, and the female 
consequently reacts with increased sexual desire. 



Evolutionary Psychology 

Evolutionary psychology proposes that the human brain com- 
prises many functional mechanisms called "psychological adap- 
tations" or "evolved cognitive mechanisms," all evolving from 
natural or sexual selection. Some examples include: language 
acquisition modules, incest avoidance mechanisms, cheater de- 
tection mechanisms, intelligence and sex-specific mating pref- 
erences, foraging mechanisms, alliance-tracking mechanisms, 
agent detection mechanisms, and so on. We won't get into too 
much detail about each of those mechanisms, and will limit our 
discussion to: 

• female sexuality and female emotional life, and 

• female reproductive mechanisms from the point of view 
of sexual selection. 

In general, evolutionary psychology asserts that many univer- 
sal behaviors and aspects of society result from evolutionary 
adaptations. Such behaviors are studied to determine whether 
they are preserved in evolution as being useful to survival, or 
deleted for not being useful. For example, when we refer to 
females with high sexual drive or to females with low sexual 



3 



Jl> Joseph <} David 9 Franco 4 



drive, we are referring to sub-groups of women whose base- 
line sexual drive has evolved differently, depending on differ- 
ent survival needs and behaviors. 

Within the framework of evolutionary psychology, a woman 
with a high sex drive is more prone to get impregnated by dif- 
ferent men, which shifts her focus from the care of one child 
to the care of many children. Depending on her behavior with 
respect to social norms, such a woman may be labeled "promis- 
cuous" or worse, "slutty." A woman with a low sex drive is less 
prone to be impregnated by many different men. Her focus is 
more on the care of fewer children than on her being impreg- 
nated by many men. Again, depending on her behavior, such 
a woman may be labeled "cold," or "frigid." Both high sex 
drive and low sex drive females are useful to nature for differ- 
ent reasons. In the first case, wider genetic variety results. In 
the second case, greater genetic survivability results. 

Interestingly, these natural differences have been distorted by 
men, in an attempt to understand them and to cope with the 
fear caused by them. We believe that male cognitive distortion 
of these natural feminine traits is the reason for such beliefs 
within our modem population as the "Madonna /whore com- 
plex," which we discuss extensively later in the book, along 
with many other examples such as the so-called "last-minute 
resistance" and "anti-slut defense." 



Altruism and Selfishness 

Many men, especially men who have become emasculated by 
women, fail to understand the real evolutionary meaning of 
female altruism and /or selfishness, which truly depends on the 
circumstances. They fail to see it as a continuously changing 
process that occurs within the same woman, and instead they 
tend view it in a more static and conflictual way. We believe 
that under the influence of the Madonna /whore complex, men 
stereotypically categorize women into rigid categories of altru- 
istic or selfish. This is understandable, because some of the 



4 



t 

I 

Altruism and Selfishness 



mechanisms which are useful to the continuation of life and 
the fitness of the species are often very immoral and shocking 
when seen from the point of view of the individual. But this is 
the way it is. 

Usually, women are naturally altruistic towards their children, 
and to a lesser extent, close family members. But what about a 
woman's interactions with men that she has romantic or sexual 
relationships with? Should you be expecting mercy or altruism 
towards you from your female romantic partners? Perhaps, 
perhaps not. Our belief is that it's never appropriate for a man 
to expect altruism from a woman, only to appreciate a woman's 
altruism when she provides it. 

Men who become physically unfit in relationships learn very 
quickly that many woman have no compunction against kick- 
ing a man while he is down. As David says, she needs to feel 
that he is the same strong bastard she was initially attracted 
to, even when he is sick-in-bed with the flu. This is a purely 
selfish response from the woman for evaluating — on an emo- 
tional level — the man's continued fitness. 

Consider the predicament suffered by the physically large, men- 
acing Icelandic berserker Egil Skallagrimson. The onset of ill 
health (probably Paget's disease^) gradually rendered him deaf, 
blind and subject to migraines, whence, as the saga tells us, he 
was ridiculed by the women of his household, the same wo- 
men he protected and provided for in his younger, healthier 
days!^ 

Egil, after moving in with his son-in-law. Grim, at 
Mosfell, was walking outside one day when he stum- 
bled and fell. Some of the women who saw this 
laughed: 

"You're really finished, now, Egil," they said, "when 
you fall without being pushed." 

"The women didn't laugh so much when we were 
younger," said Grim. 

■^http:// www. viking. ucla.edu/Scientific_American/Egils-Bones.htm 
^The Sagns of Icelanders 



5 



A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4|k 



Ifs to Egil's credit he eventually expired of old age, rather than 
the treachery or mischief rampant in Iceland during the periods 
of the sagas. 

Among humans, altruism can be observed when comparing a 
woman from a more traditional, patriarchal country, to a wo- 
man from a more politically-correct, industrialized country. A 
woman of a traditional patriarchal country will be more moti- 
vated in terms of altruistic behavior towards her husband (that 
is, the family's Provider) because the role of family and patri- 
archy is still seen as much more important in those countries. 
In fact, supporting her man by sacrificing herself will increase 
the likelihood of spreading her own genes to her children. 

This altruistic effect is virtually lost in politically-correct west- 
ern countries, such that a woman's motivation for altruistic be- 
havior towards her husband (Provider) may be almost non- 
existent, or will be limited to a short period of time between 
getting pregnant to the early years of the infant's upbringing. 
Selfishness emerges when the woman can induce a man to pay 
for the children without impinging on her freedom, via the 
state-sanctioned mechanism of child support. This selfishness 
provides the woman with material support for children by one 
man, while allowing her to become impregnated by another 
man, with little or no material or social risk to herself. 

In short, evolutionarily-derived altruism and selfishness both 
have clear reproductive advantages, depending on the woman's 
material and social circumstances. A practical man will keep 
these notions in mind wlien arranging his affairs with the wo- 
man or women in his life. 



Practical Advice 

It's not mandatory to accept all of the tenets of evolutionary 
psychology in order to be successful with women. However, 
such a study will broaden your understanding of why females 
think and act the way that they do. Three books we have found 
very helpful are Matt Ridley's The Red Queen, Robin Baker's 



6 



Practical Advice 



Sperm Wars and Geoffrey Miller's The Mating Mind. Each of 
these books are written by an expert in their field; brief reviews 
of each follow, below. 

One of the defining books on the evolution of sexuality is The 
Red Queen by Ridley [1]. The author puts forth several theories 
as to why men feel compelled to ask a woman's hand in mar- 
riage and how we get our concepts of physical beauty, among 
many others. Ridley also presents a convincing array of statis- 
tics which seem to prove that a woman is more likely to be im- 
pregnated during an illicit affair than she is with her husband 
or long-term boyfriend. The Red Queen is fun read, and Rid- 
ley wrote it in an easily-accessible style that anyone new to the 
field of evolutionary psychology can readily grasp and enjoy. 
We therefore highly recommend The Red Queen to help round 
out your education. 

Baker's Sperm Wars [2] is another extremely interesting book 
examining human reproductive strategy. Baker makes a case 
based on evolutionary biology that human males and females 
exhibit a wide range of sexual behavior as an evolutionary re- 
sponse for widening the gene pool. His treatment is explicit 

— at times graphic — in it's description of mating strategies, 
and he pulls no punches with respect to controversial topics, or 
even criminal behavior on the part of either males or females. 
As troubling as many of the behaviors Baker documents are, 
we find that fitting such behaviors into a rational and naturally- 
evolved framework is extremely helpful for guiding our inter- 
actions with women (and men). 

Miller, an evolutionary psychologist at the London School of 
Economics and at UCLA, proposes in The Mating Mind [3] that 
a large portion of the human brain evolved into a Courtship 
Mind (the "mating mind"). This explains why many genetic 
traits such as talents for music, or mathematics, or mechanics 

— which have very poor value from the point of view of nat- 
ural selection — have evolved in our species. Miller maintains 
that both sexes have evolved many significant ways of display- 
ing fitness via expression of creative intelligence, such as story- 
telling, poetry, art, music, sport, dance, humour, kindness and 
leaderhip. That such traits not strictly connected with survival 



7 



4 Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



is problematic in other theories. 

As we wrote in the introduction, this book is not intended to 
be a scientific textbook. Our main goals are to entertain and 
inform, and hopefully inspire men to action in creating the re- 
lationships that they desire with women. The interpretations 
given to the scientific literature cited are purely subjective and 
constitute the authors' own experiences with a wide variety of 
women and their interpretations of the studies. The validity 
of our interpretations should be confirmed or negated by con- 
cretely testing them in the field of male-female relationships. 

Our experience, however, is our own. We're positive that if 
men test our theories within the realm of everyday experience 
with women, they will find them to be extremely practical. We 
encourage you to maintain an open mind, to read the books 
reviewed above, and to read more on this topic from the variety 
of sources found in the bibliography. 



8 




2 Female Neuropsychology 

Perhaps truth is a woman who has reasons for not let- 
ting us see her reasons? — The Gay Science, Friedrich 
Nietzsche. 

-^NEUROPSYCHOLOGY is the study of how the function 
and structure of the brain relates to specific psycho- 
logical processes. Part of neuropsychology involves 
studying how brain activity expresses itself through 
verbal, cognitive and physical indicators. For example, with 
regards to sexuality and emotional life, there have been recent 
studies on the effects of childhood abuse on the neuropsycho- 
logical and cognitive functions in women, and the effects of 
hormonal activity on sexual orientation.^ 

For centuries, women have been more advanced in knowledge 
of male sexual neuropsychology; women needed such skills for 
physical survival in a world dominated by large, aggressive 
men. Women are usually totally silent about their deep knowl- 
edge of the male psyche and sexuality. We believe this silence 
is a result of: 



1. The female need to manipulate the male into a Provider 
role for reasons of survival. 

2. The female need for social acceptance, or social status 
preservation when promiscuity is punished (this refers to 
the Madonna/whore Complex, which is extensively dis- 
cussed later in the book). 



Our particular interest in neuropsychology is on signs of fe- 
male sexual arousal which can be detected by having a normal 
conversation with a woman, without the need to physically es- 
calate the interaction towards a sexual act.^ Sexual escalation 

'We would like to see the subject of Female Neuropsychology taught to 
men at school! Many marriages would be saved and many couples would be 
happier. 

^Since this is not a book about sexology, we will not be discussing subjects 
such as the female orgasm, or difficulties with orgasm. 



4» Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4k 



is defined as the sequence of acts whiicli bring a couple closer 
to the act of lovemaking. Understanding how to detect the 
level of female arousal without escalating physically increases 
a man's social awareness, allowing the interaction to proceed 
covertly rather than overtly. Since there exists a complex of ver- 
bal and non-verbal signs which indicate that the female is be- 
coming sexually aroused, this is a skill: a woman's arousal is 
expressed through her body and her brain's cognitive activity 
in ways that can be detected by simple observation. 

This concept of detecting female arousal through observation 
has been taboo for many centuries, we believe partly due to 
the Madonna/whore Complex and partly because we are only 
now begirming to understand the connection between brain ac- 
tivity and verbal and non-verbal signals. Due to the effect on 
the scientific media of the Madonna/ whore Complex, a search 
of scientific literature on the topic of female sexual arousal finds 
studies about the "abnormalities" of female sexuality. There 
are very few articles on how a woman's sexual arousal can be 
detected in the context of normal, everyday social interactions. 



Language and Female Sexual Arousal 

Normal, healthy, adult women often become sexually aroused 
by words and communication. In neuropsychological terms, sex- 
ual arousal in women goes like this: words and communication 
and their effect on the woman's inner mental process creates 
a fantasy for her, and from this primary process follows the 
biological signs of sexual arousal, such as vaginal lubrication. 
Words and communication and their effect on the woman's in- 
ner mental process create pleasurable emotions, and from this 
primary process follows the biological signs of sexual arousal, 
for example an increase in her libido. 

The emotions which cause sexual pleasure within a woman can 
be both positive, as in joy, or negative, as in fear or anger. We 
postulate that a woman who is routinely sexually aroused by 
negative emotions is almost definitely a woman with psycho- 



10 



Female Need for Communication 



logical problems and a woman with lower self-esteem (LSE — 
explained in depth later in the book). We also postulate that to 
a certain extent all women are sexually aroused by strong emo- 
tions, and that strong emotions can also include those that we 
would consider as "negative emotions", even within a psycho- 
logically healthy woman. 



Female Need for Communication 

Though females may train themselves to act like men, in reality 
they have a very deep biological urge to be talkative. Certain 
studies indicate that females get a rush of pleasure by certain 
hormones when talking. Female hormones seem to act in such 
a way so as to induce in the female an extreme need for emo- 
tional expression and talking with her peers. 

It seems likely that men and women have difficulties in com- 
munication because the language they use and the needs they 
have with regards to their communication are often very dif- 
ferent. Science has not been able to demonstrate this for sure 
but several studies seem to indicate that what is intended as 
"communication" may be something totally different for men 
and for women. 

It is possible that already at the age of eighteen weeks, preg- 
nancy hormones define a totally different structure of the brain 
in regards to what is intended as communication. In other 
words, sexual hormones may effect the parts of the male and 
female brain dedicated to communication, such that their neu- 
ropsychological expression may be totally different depending 
on whether the person is a male or female. 



Mutual Gazing 

There is a need for the female of our species to seek mutual 
gazing, or deep and prolonged eye contact. In our extensive 



11 



Jit Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



field experience we have repeatedly noticed this to be true. 

When a female is deprived of mutual gazing she gets anxious 
and depressed. Conversely, when she is rewarded by mutual 
gazing she gets pleasure and is satisfied. You might have no- 
ticed that your wife or girlfriend will become increasingly ag- 
itated when your eyes are focussed intently for any length of 
time on a television sporting event or towards your computer 
screen. 

Our field experience also indicates that females have ambiva- 
lent feelings in regard to males who reward them by talking 
a lot and engaging in mutual gazing. On one hand, they feel 
happy and rewarded. On the other hand, in the long run, wo- 
men will react with a decrease in sexual attraction towards the 
male who seeks too much attention from women in this way. 

Our rationale for this is that sexual attraction is created by con- 
trast. Ultimately, females are attracted by masculine features. 
Therefore, men who reward females with a lot of feminine traits 
such as conversation and mutual gazing are at risk of having 
those females lose attraction for them in the long run. These 
men risk becoming too effeminate in the eyes of their women. 
Calibration is therefore crucial; you will need to listen and ob- 
serve and thereby determine the right amount of these things. 



Female Blueprint 

A Female Blueprint is a specific set of emotions which is indi- 
vidual to the particular woman and which elicits sexual arousal 
in her when it is targeted — either consciously or unconsciously 
— by the male. The Blueprint has an evolutionary purpose: 
it sets the conditions for specific evolutionary selection based 
on certain specific features, which are by nature much more 
specific than what would arouse most males. Males, as we all 
know, can be easily aroused by the sight of a naked, beautiful 
woman. But female arousal is not usually as simple as that. 

Here are some typical Female Blueprints: 



12 



Passivity and Receptiveness 



• A woman is sexually aroused by successful businessmen 
who cause her to daydream about flying worldwide for 
the purpose of building successful businesses. As you 
can see, this is very specific, and the woman will pre- 
dictably become sexually aroused by men who elicit this 
Blueprint from her. She may be totally incapable of sex- 
ual arousal with a guy who is of the "rock star" type and 
without good business sense. 

• A woman is sexually aroused by men who give her the 
feeling of being free and wild; for example, in the manner 
that a rock star or a member of a motorcycle gang might 
do. In this case, she will remain completely cold sexually 
when in the company of a businessman and will show 
biological signs of sexual arousal when in the presence of 
the rock star. 

• A woman is sexually aroused by the emotions created by 
going shopping and looking for red underwear for her- 
self, especially if this happens in the company of a man 
who is able to describe with words the features of these 
clothes. We'll have more to say about such language, 
which we call Rich Description. 

As you can see, female sexual arousal has much wider variabil- 
ity when compared with male sexuality. 

Passivity and Receptiveness 

Passivity and Receptiveness are essential states that the aver- 
age woman needs to get into in order to become aroused sex- 
ually. A truly feminine woman will find it difficult to become 
sexually arovised with a man unless he is able to make her com- 
fortable with being both passive and receptive to the man and his 
advances. If a woman indicates that she becomes aroused by 
acting tough, by fighting or by primarily visual means, simi- 
lar to a man, we can say that her masculine behavior has either 
been learned or is intrinsic to her nature for biological reasons. 



13 



^ Joseph <} David <^ Franco 4 



Body Language and Sexual Arousal 

It would be almost impossible to list and describe all of the po- 
tential signs of female sexual arousal. We provide a few key 
examples in order to give you an overview of the correlation 
between the psychology of a woman and the neuropsycholog- 
ical expression of her arousal. 

Soft Signs are expressions visible through body language and 
through cognitive brain activity that something is happening 
within the brain. What follows is a list of some Soft Signs in- 
dicating female sexual arousal. This list could be very lengthy, 
especially for an experienced seducer: 

1. Looking downward after having had eye contact with a 
male she is sexually attracted to is a clear sign of submis- 
sion among all primates. 

2. Giggling is often sign of submissiveness. 

3. Emotional or dramatic outbursts. In most cases, this is a 
clear sign of sexual arousal in a woman. 

4. Impaired concentration and an increase in the unrelated- 
ness of emotions within a sequence. 

5. An increase in lower body movements which attract male 
attention. 

6. Blushing. 

7. Scratching of her wrists and inner arms. 



Practical Advice 

All of our work in this bi>ok is based on the assumption that 
the human being is a cybei netic system wherein the mind and 
body are inseparable parts of the same system and affect each 
other. In other words, we believe that the mind and the body 



14 



Practical Advice 



of a person are closely coupled, rendering true distinctions dif- 
ficult to determine. 

You are now in a position to train yourself to observe the soft 
signs of arousal within your woman. You will find a clear cor- 
relation with what you do — and what you do not do — in the 
course of your relationship and the signs of her arousal. Learn 
to calibrate. Keep in mind that the main purpose of evolution 
is to screen for better genes and that everything that your wo- 
man does or doesn't do is in one way or another linked to that 
purpose. 

There are couple of very good guidebooks with respect to Soft 
Signs available in the mainstream literature. Leil Lowndes' Un- 
dercover Sex Signals [4] is a compendium of just such manner- 
isms as listed above, and many, many more. Ms. Lowndes 
is an outstanding author, perceptively noting that such signals 
should not be taken at face value. Rather, view each soft sign as 
a "letter". By learning to assemble these "letters", you become 
adept at reading her "words", which in turn are communicat- 
ing her intentions. 

Tracey Cox's Superflirt [5] could be considered an illustrated 
encyclopedia of body language. Some of the material is simi- 
lar in content to Undercover Sex Signals, but the presentation is 
complementary. We recommend that you get both books. 



15 



3 Female Logic Explained 

/ zvant wonderful and fascinating and marvelous things 
to happen to me and I don't want to do anything to make 
them happen. Nothing at all. — Lanya, from Dhalgren, 
by Samuel R. Delany 

OR ages, men have considered "Female Logic/' or the fe- 
male way of thinking, to be one of the greatest myster- 
ies in the universe. Psychoanalysts, philosophers and 
poets have spent countless amounts of time agonizing 
over this topic. 

Well, the good news is that female logic (also known as chick 
logic) can be explained to men in a perfectly understandable 
way. You can learn how female logic works just like you can 
learn the functions of a computer or the technical specifications 
of a car. 

First of all, based on what we considered in Chapter 1 with 
regards to Evolutionary Psychology, let's stipulate that every 
function of the human brain has an evolutionary purpose. The 
evolutionary purpose of female logic is to achieve two basic 
goals: 

1. To create ideal conditions for the procreation and birth of 
children, and ideal conditions to protect those children 
during their early years of development. 

2. To influence the men and the environment around her to 
give her and her children support and protection. This in- 
fluence commonly manifests as manipulation (more about 
manipulation in Chapter 13), which in this scenario may 
be seen as a positive force used by the woman instinctu- 
ally as a means to support life. 

A woman naturally achieves these goals by creating within her- 
self a sense of emotional congruence. When creating such emo- 
tions, the woman is especially concerned with "how she feels 
right now" as opposed to a male-logic concern of "how a corre- 
lates to b, or how a is the cause of b." In psychologically healthy 




A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



women, these will be emotions of pleasure and safety. In other 
women, drama, histrionics and hysteria serve a similar pur- 
pose. 

In the following discussion, the reader should keep in mind we 
are not making any value or moral judgments. Emotional rea- 
soning is very likely deeply embedded into people, if not all 
mammals. Human males have simply evolved a further char- 
acteristic of being more able to easily suppress emotional rea- 
soning.^ 



The Calculus of Emotion 

Female logic is based on a calculus of emotion, allowing a woman 
to understand her current emotional state as a causal result of 
a chain of external factors. That these factors may be physically il- 
logical or irrational is emotionally irrelevant. Men typically have a 
great deal of trouble following women's physically non-causal 
emotional reasoning, and don't understand that to the woman, 
accepting the emotion is much more important than determin- 
ing a logical or rational underlying cause. 

Female logic can be visualized as a sequence of emotional states 
along of the lines of the imaginary chain: 

...^b^c—>x—>y-^z^u—^a~-*b~^... 

where the elements are absolutely not required to be in what 
men would consider logical, rational or physically causal cor- 
relation between each other. Instead, these states are correlated 
in terms of how the emotion b was the cause within the woman 
of the emotion c, and of the emotion x and so on, without any 
other correlation between each of the other elements whatso- 
ever, and where there is no certainty about which element may 
or may not be the cause of the next one in the sequence. 

Note: we are making some very broad generalizations here! 

'Men who manipulate women often turn tables on women by employing 
this same sort of reasoning. The authors view this as an abrogation of mas- 
culinity: men should lead, not manipulate. 



18 



Biological and Psychological Factors 



Some women employ chick logic exclusively, other women not 
so much. But in our experience, most women will resort to 
emotional reasoning when under the influence of powerful, 
uncomfortable emotional states, or in uncomfortable social cir- 
cumstances. 

Some women's behavior is primarily driven by their emotions. 
In many cases, these women share their feelings with you in a 
balanced way, having developed very good control over their 
emotions. In other cases women can be prone to discharge their 
problems on you in a massive way. Neither one of these types 
of women may have a functioning sense of causality between 
her emotional states. Trying to apply male logic to women 
and their emotional states is therefore inappropriate and it only 
leads to frustration in the male attempting the analysis. 

It is important to note that female emotionality is of an in- 
ward nature. Franco believes this is strictly connected with 
pregnancy and motherhood. This may appear in some women 
as extreme self-centeredness. In reality this trait is a positive 
strength created by nature to achieve maximum well-being in 
a woman's body and in her psyche, in preparation for the cre- 
ation of a new life. It may sometimes seem to you that your 
woman is unable to feel empathy towards your needs as a man. 
For this reason it is crucial for a Modern Man to be totally non- 
needy in any relationship with a woman. 



Biological and Psychological Factors 

We believe sex drive and self-esteem both influence a woman's 
susceptibility to use emotional calculus. 

Women with a High Sex Drive, defined as "HD" in this book 
(details in Chapter 7), exhibit female logic to a more impres- 
sive extent. This is because female logic is not an isolated phe- 
nomenon, but it is strictly connected with the woman's sexual 
instinct. In contrast, women with a Lower Sex Drive, defined 
in this book as "LD", exhibit female logic to a lesser degree. 
The Modern Man can use seduction techniques to change LD 



19 



X Joseph <0> David 9 Franco ^ 



women into HD women, if hie so cliooses. When that happens, 
the formerly-LD woman starts to exhibit emotional thinking to 
a greater extent than before. 

LD women also use female logic, but it is different compared 
with the female logic displayed by HD women and it is also 
more subtle. 

Self-esteem is another factor which influences female logic to 
a great degree. Women with Low Self-Esteem (defined in this 
book as "LSE"), employ a more primitive, wilder kind of fe- 
male logic. Women with High Self-Esteem (defined in this book 
as "HSE") have a higher-level kind of female logic, which is de- 
tectable only by very experienced seducers. Most men will be 
able to notice female logic coming from an LSE woman, but 
they will rarely be able to detect female logic coming from an 
HSE woman. 



Emotional Awareness 

Most men would like to relax when they get into a committed 
relationship with a woman. In an attempt to relax, the man 
will start an attempt to establish control her behavior as soon as 
he gets in touch with her emotional side. This almost always 
leads to disappointment, because often a woman will dramati- 
cally escalate her use of female logic the more she is sexually at- 
tracted to her man. The more logic and control a man attempts 
to establish, the more the woman will escalate emotionally. For 
her, it's a matter of self-defense to preserve her sense of identity 
as a woman. 

When a man tries to have his woman's female logic repressed 
and transformed into male logic, he may actually be repress- 
ing his woman's sexual attraction towards him. It is vital to 
remember that the kind of emotional thinking within the wo- 
man — which we identify as female logic — may be strongly 
linked to her sexuality. 

Dealing with a woman and her female logic in the proper way 



20 



Practical Advice 



is not difficult, but you cannot relax in the way a man normally 
intends to relax. This is because if a man could naturally un- 
derstand a woman when she is thinking with her female logic, 
he would no longer be a real man, but rather quite an effemi- 
nate man. Instead, to make a woman happy and sexually ac- 
tive, a man must cultivate a constant state of awareness within 
himself: be aware of her emotional state, without allowing her 
emotional state to affect you. 

So the key to dealing with female logic is constant emotional 
awareness. In fact, you can bet that without being emotion- 
ally awareness your woman will surprise you, sometimes in 
very unpleasant ways, and on a regular basis. With emotional 
awareness, you will be able to anticipate her emotions, and 
lead her through a sequence of positive states. 



Practical Advice 

The best way to deal with female logic is to help your wo- 
man to actually enhance it, instead of trying to change her. This 
must happen in such a way that you never lose your masculine 
frame, because if you do that then you will become her "male 
girlfriend"; emotionally close for sure, but without the sexual 
tension that is at the very center of any healthy romantic rela- 
tionship. 

At its core, female logic is somewhat schizophrenic. Therefore, 
in order to be able to deal with it successfully, you have to po- 
sition yourself in a little bit of a schizophrenic manner; i.e. you 
must be able to talk chickspeak, without ever losing the sexually 
active and aggressive frame of the masculine male. 

The big problem with books such as John Gray's "Men are 
From Mars, Women are From Venus" [6] is that while they can 
help men to understand female logic to a certain degree, in the 
process they emasculate the man, stripping him of his mascu- 
line core. In order to maintain sexual attraction from a female, 
we need to understand female logic but at the same time re- 
main as real, masculine men. We do not effectively resolve the 



21 



ilt Joseph 0 David Z> Franco 4 



differences between male logic and female logic by becoming 
females! 

An important thing for the modern man to keep in mind is 
that the mechanism of female logic is especially activated by 
the presence of the male himself. The more a woman finds her- 
self in the presence of a masculine man, and especially if she 
is sexually attracted to that man, the more she will get into the 
emotional mental state described above. 



Flip the Script 

The rationalization by women of their emotional processes is 
what we like to call "Chick Logic" and it is a fundamental 
weapon in the female arsenal for managing their relationships 
with men. Chick logic leads to notions such as "If you don't 
talk about it, it never happened." When you hear a phrase 
like this from a woman, understand that what this means in 
practice is that she doesn't want to talk about something that 
"causes" her to feel bad. Never mind whether the whole in- 
cident was captured on video, that's completely irrelevant to 
her. As long as she never talks about it, she never has to feel 
those bad emotions.^ 

When a man gets angry with a woman and describes her as 
a "selfish bitch," what is happening is that he is relating to a 
woman who is presently focused, to an extreme extent, on how 
she feels right now. In fact, the more a woman can be referred to 
in the context of male logic as a "bitch", the stronger and more 
primitive her female sexual instinct is. 

Women exhibit female logic to different degrees. The degree to 
which a woman exhibits female logic is caused by biological, 
psychological and social factors. 



^ David remembers that he had a relationship once with a woman who 
came back from a small resort 90 miles south of Cancun and let the follow- 
ing comment slip; "What happens in the islands stays in the islands." At that 
time, he didn't think much of it. Now, it strikes him that she probably had sex 
while she was down there, and didn't want to feel guilty for "cheating." 



22 



Practical Advice 



Some In-Field Examples of Female Logic 

Franco has been married twice and has otherwise been in lov- 
ing relationships with many women. Once upon a time he 
picked up a woman. Let's call her Lady BadKisser. This girl 
was at that time looking for a committed relationship and Franco 
was enjoying being single. As usual. Franco attempted to ini- 
tiate sex with the woman. It is our very strong opinion that 
no man should even think about starting a serious relationship 
with a woman if she does not demonstrate from the outset that 
she enjoys being sexually engaged with the man. 

So, Lady BadKisser kissed Franco, but when he kissed her, he 
could sense that she was reacting with uneasiness to his kiss. 
This was a good indication to Franco that he should forget this 
particular woman and concentrate on the next one. So Franco 
naturally reduced his time with her. On a subsequent occasion 
the woman told Franco that the reason for her hesitancy was 
because Franco was not willing to have a serious relationship, 
which was quite true at that time. 

After that, they did not meet again for several years. In the 
meantime. Franco got married again, and while Franco was 
married, he met up with Lady BadKisser. They talked and they 
had quite a good time together, and wouldn't you know it? She 
tried to kiss Franco. After that, she started to call him and to 
send him text messages quite frequently. 

This woman was clearly an LD woman and Franco was quite 
interested in understanding how it was that she had this appar- 
ent sudden change from LD to HD. She was actually embar- 
rassing him, by being quite sexually aggressive towards him 
all the time while they were out together in public. 

Well, when finally they talked in depth about this. Franco found 
out the reason: 

Lady BadKisser: "Franco, you are a married man now, so I 
finally know that I can trust you." 

Unbelievable! 

In fact, this story makes perfect sense when viewed in the light 



23 



^ Joseph <0> David 9 Franco ^ 



of female logic. The woman did not trust Franco when he was 
single. She believed that Franco was only interested in a casual, 
sexual relationship with her. At that time, under the influence 
of her strong emotional state "X", she was unable to see that 
Franco may be capable of a committed relationship in the future. 
To do that she would have had to be capable of stepping out of 
her emotional state and thinking logically. 

When she came to know that Franco was now married, she 
came under the influence of another, different emotional state, 
let's call it State "Y", which for her means, "I can trust this guy, 
because he can be my husband". This new emotional state con- 
fused her logic even more because she started to feel that she 
should be Franco's wife and not some other woman. 

When we analyze this woman's contrasting emotional states 
"X" and "Y," we see that she is not capable of logically connect- 
ing the two states together. For her, the two states are equally 
real and equally valid, except that state "X" no longer applies, 
because it is now evident that Franco is husband material, which 
corresponds to her desires for a man, and not a bachelor, which 
is unattractive to her.^ 

Lead Her Emotions 

The authors can deliberately induce an emotional, feminine- 
logic state in women. We have seduced somewhat-masculine 
women, those being defined as women who have consciously 
trained themselves to suppress their female logic. Here are a 
few real-life examples: 

Woman: "Franco, I had believed that I was not a chicken like 
my mother is, but when I am with you I feel I am just like her." 
... or ... 

Woman (shouting): "I am used to being in control!" 
... or ... 

Woman: "Unbelievable!... I do not feel ashamed about sex at 
all with I am with you." 

■'Women can learn to logically connect with their emotional states. Appar- 
ently, this is as difficult for women as emotionally connecting to logical states 
is to a man. 



24 



Practical Advice 



And so on. 

The vast majority of men are totally unaware of how their own 
close proximity to their women is the actual cause of the wo- 
man going deeper and deeper into this natural emotional state. 
Once you acknowledge this fact, a lot of good things will start 
to happen for you. For one thing, you no longer need to argue 
or have fights with your woman! 

The majority of arguing that occurs among couples is in fact 
due to men attempting to apply male logic to women, and wo- 
men trying to apply their female logic to men, while they are 
interacting with each other. Therefore, if you want to increase 
the sexual attraction of a woman and communicate with her ef- 
fectively, stop asking her the following type of question when 
she is in an emotional state: "How the hell does X relate to Y? 
Or how does Y relate to Z?" 

For example, she may shift from an emotion called X to an emo- 
tion called Y during your conversation, without any apparent 
logical connection between the two points. You need to under- 
stand that the only logical connection between the two points 
is definitely something in her outer world, which has caused 
her to shift from the emotion X to the emotion Y. 

Here is another real-life example: 

Franco: "So tonight we are going to watcli a wonderful movie.. 
Yesterday when we spoke, we agreed to go at 5:00PM." 
Woman: "Where are you?" 

Franco: "At the office. So i will meet you at the railway station 
at 4:45 pm. They say this war movie is very good." 
Woman: "You are always working. You surely like to be away 
from home!" 

At this point, she is clearly feeling some strong emotions con- 
nected with Franco being at the office. Unfortunately, the ma- 
jority of men would react like this: 

Average Guy, in an angry or frustrated tone: "Hey look! I have 
my next client about to come in. So are we going to meet at 4:45 



25 



Ht Joseph 0 David <^ Franco 4|k 



or not?" 

This response would be a very logical thing to do, because the 
man surely remembers that in the morning they had agreed to 
go to watch that movie together. However, this would be a case 
of trying to apply male logic to the woman's emotional state. 
She will likely be upset by such a response and feel that her 
man doesn't understand her. Instead, the experienced seducer 
would drop the logical, male reaction and instead respond wi'th 
something like this: 

Franco: "Yes., to think if I would have to go and fight in a war... 

so many months away from home." 

Woman: "You enjoy killing, don't you?!?" 

Franco: "I sure do love the feeling of running towards the enemy 

and putting a bullet into his head." 

Here Franco shows that he does not care too much about her 
disappointment, but this causes no problem because Franco is 
in fact matching her emotional state in that moment. That, in 
fact, is what women want! Imagine that this discussion contin- 
ues as follows: 

Woman: "Alt men are the same; they only want money, power, 
and killing!" 

Franco: "Yes. Actually I think we should purify ourselves... how 
about we plan our next vacation for the monastery at Valamo?" 

And on and on he goes, teasing her about her emotions, and 
as a result she gets hornier and homier. Franco missed out on 
going to many movies in this way! 

Meta-emotions 

Culturally, the West has placed a premium on male control of 
emotions, which is nearly always performed by using rational 
logic. We believe that both men and women experience the 
same suite of emotions to a greater or lesser degree. A man can 
develop the ability to tap into emotions just as women do. 

Once a man is attuned to a woman's base emotions, he is able 
to tune into much deeper emotional states. For example, con- 
sider the following statement: "Sometimes, it feels good to feel 



26 



Practical Advice 



bad." Most men have absolutely no conception of what such 
an obviously contradictory statement means. 

And most women do. 

Furthermore, even men who understand the concepts of con- 
tradictory emotional states in an intellectual way, may remain 
completely unable to enjoy these emotions with women. In the 
worst case, a man will treat woman's capability to enjoy con- 
tradictory and conflicting emotions with contempt. 
One common way to gain an understanding of meta-emotions 
is to ask a women how she feels about how she feels. Suppose 
she is feeling good about something. Does she feel good about 
feeling good? Or does she feel bad about feeling good. 



27 



4 Female Basic Conflict 



Tell me, what you're thinking about 
When you got me waitng patiently 
Usually, I don't have to wait for nobody 
But there's something about you 
That really got me feeling weak 
— Tell Me, by P. Diddy (feat. Christina Aguilera) 

RULY understanding the psychology of women requires 
being aware of a fundamental conflict in the nature 
of women's relationships with men: women are more 
sexually attracted to men who are less inclined to pro- 
vide for them. That is, in their hearts chicks love to love had 
hoys, but in their heads they know that nice guys make much 
better husbands. 

This Female Basic Conflict is a schizophrenic duality between 
a woman's need for survival, on the one hand, and her need to 
express her own sexuality, on the other. This creates a psycho- 
logical condition whereby a woman's sexuality is necessarily 
ambivalent and conflicted, in order to be able express itself to 
the maximum extent. In this chapter we will help you to easily 
recognize this phenomenon in women and how to deal with it 
effectively. 

In a nutshell, the Female Basic Conflict is: 

• The need to manipulate a man into the role of her Provider. 

• Automatic contempt and a lowering of her sexual attrac- 
tion towards a man who lets her do so. 



The Lover-Provider Dichotomy 

Before we discuss the Female Basic Conflict in depth, we need 
to provide you with an explanation of certain terms. Through- 
out history, women have typically been condemned for any ex- 
pression of their natural sexuality. In addition, women have 




X Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4 



naturally a strong survival instinct, which is intrinsically tied 
in with pregnancy and child care. Because of these two factors, 
women have developed a strong tendency to divide men into 
one of two categories: Lover or Provider. 

The Lover 

The Lover is a man with whom a woman can freely express 
her sexuality, without having to be worried about that man at- 
tempting to exert control over her — either in a physical way or 
with respect to her material well-being — and without having 
to be worried about being morally judged by that man. 

In our modern society, a woman will typically consider a man a 
Lover, only if he is not in a position of having any responsibility 
for her or her children, and only if he does not live in the same 
territory as her (i.e., he does not share a house or apartment 
with her), nor exerts any physical or material power over her. 
At the same time, the Lover induces a strong sexual attraction 
within the woman. 

The Provider 

A Provider, on the other hand, can be defined as a man who has 
agreed to take responsibility for the woman and her children, 
both financially and emotionally. This usually is accompanied 
by the exerting of power over the woman. 

We will analyze the characteristics of men who are either Lovers 
or Providers throughout this book. At this time, suffice it to say 
that when a woman chooses a Lover, she is primarily basing 
this choice on an emotional basis, with respect to the raw sex- 
ual attraction she feels. An intelligent woman will usually only 
choose a man as a Provider after careful, rational analysis over 
a period of time. The conflict arises due to the fact that when 
a man positions himself in the Provider role, he will generally 
be perceived by the woman in such a way that her feelings to- 
wards him as a Lover are negated or at least diminished. This 
is due to the fact that, in many ways, the Lover personality is 
in conflict with the Provider personality. 



30 



Dissociation 



The Lover-Provider dichotomy creates a psychological dissoci- 
ation within the woman, which occurs mostly on the subcon- 
scious level. 

For the modern man, it is essential to be able to discern the 
expression of this conflict, by reading the neuropsychological 
responses of the woman's brain activity and through an under- 
standing of the role of evolution behind such behavior. 

To be able to deal successfully with a woman's emotional life, 
you need to focus on the process, much more than any specific 
words being spoken, during any interaction with a woman. 

You should also to be able to view the relationship with a wo- 
man as more of an ongoing process, rather than something static 
and stable. Men — who are normally very good at understand- 
ing processes — often make the big mistake of considering a 
relationship with a woman as something fixed, immovable, or 
permanent, especially once the couple has settled in to a more- 
or-less long-term type of relationship, or expressed words of 
commitment to each other. 

This erroneous, predominantly male viewpoint only results in 
disappointment for both the man and the woman. 



Dissociation 

The Lover-Provider dichotomy often presents itself psycholog- 
ically as an act of dissociation in women. This occurs so of- 
ten due to the oppression of female sexuality throughout his- 
tory. As a modern man you need to fully understand what 
is involved in the phenomenon known as dissociation. Dis- 
sociation is a state of acute mental decompensation in which 
certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and/or memories are 
compartmentalized because they are too overwhelming for the 
conscious mind to integrate. An example of dissociation is this: 

Woman: (to her girlfriend or lover) "He is a good 
husband but I can't help but laugh at him for his 
niceness. He does all that I demand." 



31 



Jl» Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



Unconsciously, what this woman is really saying is: I cannot 
feel sexual attraction for a man who is being a Provider to me 
because I know he does that because he cannot get women to 
be sexually submissive to him. So 1 need now a Lover who 
makes me feel like a woman again. 

Many women may act like this in a totally innocent manner, not 
even aware of all of the psychological forces at work, because 
in their marriages with Providers they have felt they are under 
the effect of an oppression which has been put upon women 
for centuries. 

Now as a man what you need to know is this: under the ef- 
fect of the Lover-Provider dichotomy a woman can find her- 
self in a totally dissociative state which, means that she can act 
out under the influence of strong emotions in seemingly un- 
predictable ways. In other words, you can expect just about 
anything. 



Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider 

As we discuss at length throughout this book, behaviors are 
both evolutionarily-determined as well as learned. The pro- 
cess of learning behaviors, however, is very slow. New hu- 
man behaviors which fit better with survival can be learned 
and behaviors which become obsolete may be unlearned, but 
this takes a lot of time; often this process can take several gen- 
erations. 

In Western countries in the 21st Century we find ourselves in 
precisely such a situation. Women no longer have much of a 
practical need to manipulate a man into serving as a Provider 
to them, and women therefore find that they are struggling to 
unlearn these manipulative behaviors. 

This is a very difficult process because on the one hand, such 
manipulative behavior can still be very fruitful to a woman in 
terms of survival in today's world, but on the other hand such 
behavior often brings internal and external conflict to the wo- 



32 



Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider 



man. 

As a modern man you need to learn to be able to read this con- 
flict in women on the fly as part of her ongoing, internal pro- 
cesses. You need to be able to objectively analyze this conflict 
on an ongoing basis as it occurs within the particular woman 
in front of you. 

If a man tries to put himself strictly in the Provider role with a 
modern woman, sooner or later he will elicit in her the follow- 
ing symptoms: 

• Boredom 

• A massive lowering of her sexual attraction towards him 

• In some cases, even outright contempt from her towards 
the man 

You need to realize that the Provider frame is a dangerous frame 
to find yourself in nowadays. It has always been dangerous, 
but before, women were acting less dissociative than now. In 
the Modern Age the degree of dissociation coming from the 
Lover-Provider dichotomy is at it's maximum. This is largely 
due to a culture which simultaneously grants women greater 
sexual freedom than ever before, while compelling men to pro- 
vide materially for families that they may no longer form a 
strong part of, i.e. in cases of child custody disputes, child sup- 
port payments, and alimony. 

To keep up a woman's sexual attraction you have to be a Lover 
to her first and foremost. You can be also a Provider to her, but 
only without taking away the Lover part of your personality. 
As you read and absorb the information contained in this book, 
you are developing the tools you need to achieve that goal. 

In today's modem society this can be quite a challenge. Young 
women are unfortunately often raised to view men as little bet- 
ter than sperm donors, fuck buddies or ATM machines. Young 
girls raised with an absence of fathers tend to view men in a 
love-hate fashion, and they tend to be quite mystified as to the 
psychological needs and desires of men, if they even care about 
that at all. 



33 



A Joseph 0 David Franco 4 



Consider the consequences on relationships with women sub- 
ject to the Female Basic Conflict. Under the influence of this 
conflict a modem woman can and will give you contradictory 
communication, and she will do so on a cojitinuous basis. It 
cannot be emphasized enough: a relationship with a woman 
should be viewed as a never-ending, ongoing process; not some- 
thing that can be resolved once and for all. 

Commitments, marriage, pronouncements of never-ending love 
made during romantic moments; none of these change the fact 
that a relationship with a woman is a never-ending process, 
and hopefully a happy process at that. 



Female Projection 

An important feature of female psychology is the projection of 
her emotions and needs into the environment. In other words, 
women tend to automatically place the responsibility for their 
emotions and needs on to their immediate environment. Peo- 
ple with psychological education know that this is actually a 
trait of Borderline Personality Disorder. Obviously, the vast 
majority of women are do not suffer from Borderline Person- 
ality Disorder, but it is interesting that this trait is apparently 
a normal part of psychologically healthy women in a reduced 
sense. 



Female Ambivalence 

Ambivalence is defined as state of having emotions of both 
positive and negative valence or of having thoughts or actions 
in contradiction with each other, when they are related to the 
same object, idea or person (for example, simultaneously feel- 
ing both love and hatred for someone or something). The term 
is also commonly used to refer to situations where 'mixed feel- 
ings' of a more general sort are experienced or where a person 
experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something. 



34 



Practical Advice 



A woman will often assume the right of delivering mixed mes- 
sages to you, without accepting any responsibility for doing so. 
In our modem society, this is in fact an extremely useful evolu- 
tionary trait for a woman to adopt, in terms of her survival. 

The evolutionary positive gain for the woman from her use of 
Ambivalence is that she keeps her options open, and in this 
way she can gain advantages from as many sources as possible. 
For example, a woman will often achieve material advantage 
with a Provider and sexual pleasure with a Lover and success- 
fully rule over both of them, if these men do not have the skills 
to deal with her manipulation. 

Men are logical creatures. When they build relationships with 
females they tend to act along structures based on a logical se- 
quence a-^b^c^d-^e^f-- - and so on. When you 
create a structure you are doing something yang i.e. masculine. 

The secret wish of every woman is: to find a man who is able 
to build a safe and strong masculine yang structure around her 
feminine yin. 

For more on Female Ambivalence, please see Chapter 12 under 
the section "A/B Indecision". 



Practical Advice 

One of the standards you must adopt as a man, in advance, is 
to decide what role you would prefer to fulfill, with any wo- 
man you encounter. For example, if you are not interested in 
becoming a Provider, you will want to avoid behaviors that 
will tend to demonstrate that you are slotting yourself into the 
Provider role or that the woman can count on you for Provider- 
like behavior. For example, if you want to be strictly a Lover to 
a woman, it would be unwise to make a big display of show- 
ering her with free dinners and gifts, particularly before you 
have had repeated sexual relations with her. 

Understand that women will unconsciously test, and test vig- 
orously, and they will then slot you into either the Lover or 



35 



X Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



Provider category. For example, a woman may demand that 
you pay for her dinner or movie ticket, while reciting some 
commonly-used line such as "a gentleman always pays." This 
will not be a problem for you if you have already decided — 
well in advance — the type of man you are and what a woman 
can expect from her time with you. 

If you are wavering on this point ~ if you say to yourself that 
you will have a policy of never paying for a woman but then 
buckle when confronted with a determined, sexually-hot fe- 
male — you will invariably lose this game. A woman may or 
may not really prefer a man who pays for her, but she will al- 
ways despise a man who is unsure of himself and his standards. 

The challenge to you as a man lies within your ability to toler- 
ate female ambivalence. If you can, you may succeed in becom- 
ing dominant over her, which can greatly increase the chances 
of her remaining sexually attracted to you and a generally happy 
relationship. 

Your goal as a Modem Man should be to build a Yang struc- 
ture for the relationship, while simultaneously being able to 
psychologically tolerate female ambivalence. In fact, the more 
feminine she is, the more she will tend to be and act ambiva- 
lent. 

Unfortunately, the abdicating personal responsibility by wo- 
men is widely promoted and condoned in western media cul- 
ture and modem society. Therefore, as a Modern Man you need 
to leam to deal with this factor in real time and on an ongoing 
basis with the women you interact with. One way to do this 
is to set strong borders with a woman. This does not mean to 
become controlling or domineering. Controlling and manipu- 
lative behavior will automatically kill her perception of you as 
a Lover. It does mean having strong principles and standards 
that you adhere to and do not waver on, regardless of a wo- 
man's tears or how sexually desirable she appears to you. 



36 



5 Female Subcommunication 



You should be stronger than me 

Don't you know you supposed to he the man? 

You always wanna talk it through - 1 don't care! 

Why'd you always put me in control? 

— Stronger Than Me by Amy Winehouse 



NE of the most important aspects to understand about 
female psychology is the use and existence of a type 
of language known as subcommunication. It is a se- 
cret language evolved by women over millennia in 
a male-dominated world. In this secret language women com- 
municate their sexuality freely but in a way that most men can- 
not hear or understand. Women have learned the hard way 
through millennia that men have a psychological need to cre- 
ate a type of schizophrenic distinction among women, slotting 
all women into a category of either "whores" or "Madonnas". 

Subcom_munication is based on communicating with indirec- 
tion, double meaning, ambiguity, emotionality and imprecision 
for the following purposes: 

• To preserve social harmony. 

• To avoid responsibility and establish plausible deniabil- 
ity 

• To signal intent, as in "Tell without telling, ask without 
asking." 

• To establish boundaries and frames of interactions. 

• To avoid commitment; maintain ambivalence; keep op- 
tions open. 

Furthermore, subcommunication imposes upon the recipient the 
responsibility of correctly interpreting the meaning. 

In this chapter, we will focus on subcommunication within the 
context of female sexuality. 




^ Joseph <> David <7 Franco 4i 



Basis for Subcommunication 

Men, throughout history, have traditionally wanted to own wo- 
men and women's bodies. In response, women had to invent a 
secret language that their oppressor could not understand, but 
that other women could easily understand. 

Women protect themselves using subcommunication when di- 
rect communication is dangerous. For example, women can 
be quite promiscuous, yet the consequences for being promis- 
cuous throughout history has often meant ostracism or even 
death for the woman, and humiliation for their families and 
the men that they are partnered with. No woman wants to be 
called a slut, which is exactly what happens even to modern, 
western women who are not sufficiently circumspect when dis- 
cussing matters of female sexuality outside of trusted circles of 
friends. 

As a result, while talking to each other and to men, women 
have learned to speak in this secret language. One of the pur- 
poses of this book is to disclose to men the secrets of Female 
Subcommunication, to be a translator of "womanese" to men. 
To be able to truly love a woman for who she is, a man must be 
able to read between the lines when it comes to her communi- 
cation.^ 

In contrast to women, men practice more of a direct style of 
communication. Men approach subjects of conversation in a 
manner which is more straight-to-the-point. Women, on the 
other hand, prefer to subcommunicate. 

Another reason for Female Subcommunication is the female 
preference for harmony of communication over absolute truth. 
The more feminine the woman, the more she will prefer har- 
mony to the objective truth. On the other hand, what is in- 
tended as the truth in the masculine world is something which 
is usually said succinctly, directly and in synthetic way. 



'Throughout this book, we will use the terms "womanese" and "subcom- 
munication" interchangeably to refer to the female style of indirect — and often 
secret — conversation. 



38 



Basis for Subcommunication 



Men gain social power by penetrating the space around them, 
through logic and mathematics and via physical strength and 
endurance. Women gain social power by communication, and 
will often try to avoid, at all costs, any appearance of social 
conflict. Female Subcommuniation is especially used in order 
to achieve social power through manipulation of their social 
counterparts, such that their social counterparts are persuaded 
to give women what they want. 

We can even observe biological reasons for the differences be- 
tween female and male styles of communication. As we've al- 
ready mentioned, the female brain seems to actually be struc- 
tured differently than the male brain, in significant ways, and 
in particular when it comes to the processing of language. It 
can be observed on the neuropsychological level that female 
language is much more descriptive and rich, whereas male lan- 
guage tends to be much shorter and precise. 

In a recent book called The Female Brain [7], Dr. Louann Brizen- 
dine claims that women actually devote more brain cells to 
talking than men do. Women actually get a chemical high from 
talking, and that would explain why they love to talk so much 
and why many men do not posess the same level of verbal com- 
munications skills that women do. While many of Brizendine's 
findings have been disputed and harshly criticized, we have no 
doubt that the average woman possesses a social intelligence 
that the average man cannot conceive of. With the knowledge 
we provide you with here, however, you will be able to un- 
derstand female communication on a whole new level, putting 
you in a category above and beyond the vast majority of men 
in the world. 

From the point of view of most women, male communication 
is extremely poor and boring. For most men, female language 
is incredibly imprecise, infuriatingly vague and, when exposed 
to it for extended periods of time, becomes extremely stressful 
for the man. The end result is that it is a rare man indeed who 
is actually able to read between the lines of female communi- 
cation. Typically, such a rare man will be a so-called "natural", 
or an experienced seducer. 



39 



H, Joseph 0 David 9 Franco ^ 



Because of these differences, most men and women feel a great 
deal of dissatisfaction when it comes to their communication 
with the opposite sex. While we can certainly improve in our 
communication with each other, we can never eradicate these 
differences completely because they are largely determined by 
the different brain structures of men and women. 

Most men go through life never even realizing that women 
subcommunicate. A lot of men are raised primarily by their 
mothers and they form a strong impression of women as either 
"Madonnas" or "whores," because of the strong social condi- 
tioning put into their heads by their mothers and society at 
large. There are also a group of strong alpha men who grow 
up with either a non-existent or very weak feminine side and 
for this reason they also end up with very little knowledge of 
women and the way women communicate. 

In the latter group, we find men of great strength and value, 
such as military men or very successful businessmen. Iron- 
ically, these men may simultaneously become very emascu- 
lated within their relationships with their wives. These guys 
often sense that something strange is going on but they can- 
not pinpoint what it is. Often, out of frustration, such men will 
make the mistake of either completely cutting off communica- 
tion with their partners, or perhaps even worse, taking every- 
thing their woman says at face value. 



Phenomenology of Female Suh communication 

One of the core features of female subcommunication is am- 
bivalence. One way to describe this is as "A/B Ambivalence", 
where the woman will leave open the possibility of either in- 
terpretation "A" or interpretation "B" with regards to her com- 
munication, without her taking any position either way. The 
woman may achieve this through open-ended statements, which 
leave the responsibility for interpreting the subject of commun- 
ication with the recipient, with little help in regard to it from 
the communicator. 



40 



Effect of Subcommunication on the Male Brain 



Evolutionarily, this approach to communication can be seen as 
good business for the woman, because she can protect herself 
via ambiguity while at the same time leaving the door open 
for a variety of different possible social interactions. The more 
effective a woman is at the art of subcommuniction the greater 
her social power. And as we've already mentioned, women 
achieve power in a distinctly social way. 

To see further the difference in communication styles between 
men and women, consider the way each gender tends to de- 
liver advice to friends of the same sex. For example, a mascu- 
line man will tend to give advice to his best friend regarding 
his alcohol problem, first by being silent for as long as possible, 
but then finally sitting down with his friend and saying: "Man, 
you are destroying your health, you gotta stop that drinking 
now!" without too much concern for empathy or understand- 
ing. 

A woman in the same situation is unlikely to take a direct po- 
sition about the drinking, but rather — taking an approach of 
subcommunication — she is more likely to show empathy and 
make an effort to understand her friend, in the hope that she 
will change. 

Of course, as we know, both approaches are very likely to fail 
miserably if the person has a severe drinking problem, but it 
is always good to try. The illustration is merely meant to high- 
light the different approaches to communication generally taken 
by men and women. ^ 



Effect of Subcommunication on the Male Brain 

Female subcommunication has another very important role from 
the point of view of the survival of the species. It happens to 
be highly hypnotic to the male brain! 

^The authors will use this in their seductions. They will temporarily give up 
the usage of male, logical language and will begin to subcommunicate mean- 
ings to women with open-ended statements. When this happens, women tend 
to feel: "Wow! A man who can really communicate!" 



41 



X Joseph <> David ^ Franco ^ 



What has been described as romantic love by poets is actually 
— on the biological level — a strategy of nature designed to 
achieve pregnancy. A hypnotic state is basically a state of ex- 
treme concentration, where a person becomes oblivious to his 
or her surroundings while lost in thought. This can be achieved 
specifically by ambivalent stimulus coming from the female, 
whose biological purpose is to bind the male to her via a state 
of focused attention on her. Hormonal changes connected with 
sexual attraction make this focused state an extremely power- 
ful motivator for the male. 

Therefore, awareness of a woman's ambivalent, subcommuni- 
cated style of language is key to a modern man being able to 
enjoy lasting and happy relationships. 

Being unaware of female subcommunication will tend to make 
a man weaker over time and will cause him many difficulties. 
When a man finds himself in this hypnotic state for extended 
periods of time, he is more likely to do almost anything to 
please his woman, even at the expense of his own welfare. The 
paradoxical result of this is that she will gradually lose her sex- 
ual and human interest in him. Eventually, she is likely to even 
feel contempt for him. 

Consider courting. When courting, a man who puts a woman's 
daily welfare above his own may find that the successful court- 
ship induces suspicion and jealousy in the woman. How is she 
to trust such a man, who could squander resources on a beguil- 
ing competitor, perhaps a younger woman! 

Many pathological male reactions that can be observed within 
couple relationships are in fact a desperate defense mechanism, 
employed by men who have no skills with women. These reac- 
tions are meant to avoid the hypnotic state of focused attention 
on the female. For example: 

• Violence used as an attempt to avoid the mental distress 
he suffers in connection with being faced with her sub- 
communication and ambivalence. 

• Overt contempt of the woman and of women in general, 
used for the same purpose as above. 



42 



Real-Life Experience 



• Avoiding communication and attempts to isolate himself 
emotionally. Again, used for the same purposes. 

Although a frustrated man may feel driven to employ such 
strategies as listed above, it should be fairly clear that those 
methods will prove to be ineffective in the long run. 

An experienced man is able to make the best of this situation 
by relating to the woman in a challenging way, by indicating 
to her that he is aware of her subcommunication and that he 
understands it. A man is only able to challenge a woman in 
this way if he is aware of the hypnotic effect of female language 
and is able to deal with it properly. In absence of this skill he 
will: 

• Either focus too much of his mental energy on her, and as 
a result become someone who is directed by her; Or 

• Separate himself emotionally from her by cutting off com- 
munication with her. 



Real-Life Experience 

Franco once picked up a girl on the train with this line: "My 
name is Bond, James Bond." They met up and she seemed to 
be attracted but Franco noticed some signs of discomfort in her 
when he drew physically closer to her. Her reactive statement 
was: "You should shave your beard better", while touching 
his face. At first Franco believed this was a test but it was not 
so. Later on he understood that it was actually a blueprint. A 
blueprint is a subcommunicated emotion through which the 
woman is describing something that she likes or dislikes with 
all of her heart. Franco came to the conclusion — by free as- 
sociation — shave the beard —> soft skin — > woman's skin 
Bingo! She likes women! 

After a few weeks they became friends and the woman re- 
vealed the truth to Franco: she was completely lesbian and ac- 
tually only would be with men in the role of a gold digger. She 



43 



4> Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



had been married four times and was always moving to a bet- 
ter apartment, paid for by men whom in reahty she did not 
enjoy at all. She introduced Franco to her lesbian lover, too! 
So, it was all about her subcommunicated messages, which as 
you can see, revealed a great deal about her inner personal- 
ity. Did any of her husbands understand this during their long 
marriages with her? 

It should be noted that the ability to derive such definitive con- 
clusions, as Franco did in the above example, is acquired by ap- 
plying the lessons we are teaching you, repeatedly over time. 
The good news is, the moment you start to apply these lessons 
in your everyday interactions with women, the quicker you 
will deepen your understanding of Female Subcommunication. 
In other words, only with experience will you likely be able to 
make such snap judgments with accuracy. The above example 
does not mean that women preferring smoothly-shaven men are 
bisexual or lesbian. Franco's epiphany came from understand- 
ing the subcommunication with this particular woman. 



She is Keeping her Options Open 

Given the importance of subcommunication, let's dig in and 
find out more. As you will see, using subcommunication is 
a wonderful way of keeping one's options open, establishing 
plausible deniability while signaling intent, establishing bound- 
aries, and for generally discussing any kind of topic without 
actually seeming to discuss it. While subcommunication infuri- 
ates men who haven't learned the language, make no mistake: 
women can and will exercise logic and direct speech, when it 
best suits their purpose! 

Suppose you are out on a date with a woman, and you suggest 
a quick, stop by your apartment to pick something up. Out of 
the blue she may say "OK, but we're not having sex." Most 
men would would be baffled by such a statement, especially 
if they had no previous intention of having sex anyway. How- 
ever, what the woman is subcommunicating is something com- 



44 



Be that Man 



pletely different than whether or not sex will actually occur. 

Here is what's really happening: First, she is testing your re- 
sponse. If you get flustered by such a statement, she most cer- 
tainly will not consider having sex with you. If your response 
is "Yeah, so, that was pretty random, who's talking about sex 
here?" the door for sexual engagement remains open. 

Second, she is establishing a frame of interaction where she is 
taking no responsibility for the outcome. If she ends up naked 
in your bed, well, that's not her fault because she said "no sex." 
Never mind that it "just happened." Third, the next day she 
can tell anyone who asks "I specifically told him "no sex" be- 
fore I went into his apartment." 



Be that Man 

Of course, anyone well-versed in the art of subcommunication 
understands all the nuances contained in such statements, but 
generally, these are not the people that will judge her behav- 
ior. We realize that many readers find this form of communica- 
tion absolutely infuriating. Men have railed against it through 
the ages, complaining about women's deviousness and deceit- 
fulness. What these men don't realize is that you can't have 
it both ways. You need to understand that for a woman to 
promote and maintain harmony within her environment, emo- 
tional states are more important to her than physical facts. 

In other words, a woman may very well lie, or at least shade 
the truth, in order to preserve positive emotional states or pre- 
vent negative emotional states. Here is the most important 
part: even when women "lie" with their mouths, their bod- 
ies or emotions may be telling the real truth. The rare man 
that can penetrate these words and handle the truth — as the 
woman feels it — is a man who is very well-loved by women, 
indeed. 

Women will never completely disclose their language to men, 
in part because women themselves dwell in this linguistic par- 



45 



Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4k 



adise mostly unconsciously. And they also do not disclose this 
language to us because they understand that a man truly versed 
in the art of subcommunication finds himself with great power 
over women. One key way for you to achieve this power is by 
cultivating the quality of discretion. 



Cultivate Discretion 

Discretion is the quality that we display as a signal to the wo- 
man that we are aware of the prevalence in society of the Ma- 
donna/ whore Complex, and that we have personally dealt with 
it. You will read a great deal more about the Madonna /whore 
Complex in Chapters 16 and 17, but for now, realize that the 
Complex presents a real danger for a woman in our world. At 
the very least, the woman can sense danger from it in her sub- 
conscious mind. How do you subcommunicate to a woman 
that she is safe being sexual with you? 

Men who are enjoying many sexual partners do not need to 
brag about their conquests as if they somehow "got lucky". 
Men who want to enjoy the company of many women must first 
learn to cultivate and display the quality of discretion. Such 
men are comfortable with women and their sexuality, and at 
the same time they know when to keep their mouths shut, they 
are not disturbed by female sexual expression and at the same 
time they know how to discreetly create the circumstances that 
will allow women the freedom to express themselves. 

While he loves and enjoys sex and has no embarrassment about 
his sexual desires as a healthy man, sex is not something so 
rare and unusual for him that he is compelled to reveal private 
details to a woman's friends, or even his own friends. 



46 



Subcommunication in the Workplace 



Subcomtniinication in the Workplace 

We believe that it is perfectly possible for men and women to 
be honest and direct with each other about their sexuality and 
emotional lives, but as long as subcommunication will be the 
female's preferred means of communication in this arena, we 
believe that men who live and work in our modern society 
should learn the art of subcommunication themselves. In so- 
cial environments such as the workplace, this is particularly 
important. 

Women can freely discuss dating and issues surrounding men 
in a mixed male/ female work place using subcommunication. 
All women know that the term "hooking up" has several pos- 
sible connotations, which may or may not mean sexual inter- 
course. Surprisingly, however, not that many men really un- 
derstand this. On the contrary, men haven't had to develop the 
language of subcommunication and indirection, so men do not 
have the universal "code" that women seem to have regarding 
these topics. 

The result on the modem, mixed workplace is often devas- 
tating. Women are free to talk and gossip, but men are not. 
The law in many jurisdictions states that language that makes 
a women merely feel uncomfortable in the workplace can con- 
stitute "sexual harassment", for which there are exceedingly 
stiff penalties. Basically, women today believe they have a le- 
gal right to feel good while they are at work. Strangely enough, 
they are right. 

Men discussing women at work are usually applying male logic 
to situations that they have little experience with. This is, of 
course, a natural and normal thing for a man to do. Women 
recognize that males pooling their knowledge about individ- 
ual women will very shortly develop a collective wit that will 
be applicable to all women. That is, these men will learn very 
quickly how to strip women of their power. For this reason, 
some women — although not all — may even object strongly to 
your acquisition of this knowledge. 



47 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



Talk Like a Man 

Men should always strive to cultivate the skills necessary to 
communicate in a manly way. Masculine subcommunication 
cannot be identical to feminine subcommunication, because that 
case the man will become too effeminate. The result of this will 
be that women will lose sexual attraction for him. 

One of the aims of this book is to help you to actively improve 
the great mismatch between men and women when it comes 
to the art of communication and social intelligence. We believe 
that a man like you can acquire many of the skills that the av- 
erage female now enjoys, without having to deny your own 
sexuality and masculine identity in order to do accomplish it. 

John Gray, in his landmark book Men are From Mars, Women are 
from Venus [6], did a great job explaining how men and women 
communicate differently and how a man can effectively con- 
verse with a woman in the female language. What John Gray's 
book left out, however, was the crucial factor that a man must 
retain his masculinity in the relationship, and he cannot do so 
if he is engaging in too much feminine conversation with his 
partner over a long period of time. It is therefore vital to note 
that to be happy in your relationships with women, and in or- 
der to make them happy, you need to learn how to talk in the 
female language, and also to withdraw from that type of con- 
versation at the appropriate time. 



Practical Advice 

You should seriously strive to cultivate a state of awareness 
when in the company of women, because female ambivalence 
and subcommunication are not things to be underestimated. In 
fact, if you allow yourself to relax too much and keep yourself 
in an unaware state, you will completely miss the meaning of 
female communication. Accept the fact that it is instinctual for 
women to express themselves in this indirect way. 



48 



Practical Advice 



To be able to deal with female subcommunication you need to 
shift from a mindset where you take everything she says at face 
value, to a mindset where you interpret what she says and put 
it through a subcommunication filter, as it were. Women do 
speak directly when it serves their purpose — some women 
more than others — and this must be accounted for as well. In 
fact, subcommunication is very effective when mixed with di- 
rect language. Also, remember that female subcommunication 
often has an underlying, sexual meaningl The more a woman 
subcommunicates in your presence, the more she may be sex- 
ually attracted to you. 

In "politically-correct" countries it is common for many wo- 
men — especially those not in touch with their femininity — 
to go through phases of dating a masculine man, followed by 
a nice, more effeminate man, to be followed by another mas- 
culine man, and so on. If you want to present a challenge to a 
modern woman, you have to learn how to keep yourself on the 
edge between masculine and feminine, but with an emphasis 
towards the masculine. 

Therefore, to increase sexual and emotional arousal within a 
woman you will need to learn to shift between two identities 
in an almost schizophrenic manner. At times you will want to 
talk to women in a very masculine way: directly, succinctly and 
logically. At other times, you will want to you talk to women 
in the same manner that a female friend might do. To be able to 
use subcommunication, you will need to continuously practice 
the art, because it is not the natural mode of conversation for a 
man. 

Why you need to alternate between two styles of conversation? 
Because when it comes to the modern woman, she will alter- 
nate between preferring one style or the other, depending on 
the circumstances. 

To make a woman happy — whether in the context of a com- 
mitted relationship or in a lighter and less-committed interac- 
tion — you need to learn how to talk wonianese while at the 
same time keeping your focus on your masculine attitude. If 
you leave out the art of speaking in womanese, you run the 



49 



X Joseph <> David Franco ^ 



risk of becoming a cold, distant and boring person in her eyes. 
If you become too much of an expert in speaking womanese, 
she will no longer distinguish you from a woman and she will 
certainly lose attraction for you, whether quickly or over time. 

The described alternation between male and female talk is ac- 
tually extremely seductive to women. In seduction, anything 
which causes polarity will also be sexually stimulating. One 
basic aspect of the female psyche is the need for both stimula- 
tion and polarity. When you meet that need in a woman you 
make her happy. One of the main characteristics of today's wo- 
man is boredom, mixed with a search for emotional stimulation. 
By being the man who is able to talk womanese while at the 
same time remaining a real, masculine man, you put yourself 
far above almost all other men in her eyes. In fact, she will 
feel completely challenged when a man — who may even be a 
stereotypical computer programmer — will start to communi- 
cate with her in womanese while still leading her like a man. 

An Example 

David once worked as a contractor in the same office as a sig- 
nificantly younger woman — we'll call her "W" — who was 
also a contractor to the same client. That is, neither he nor she 
were employees. Now W was short — perhaps 5'3" — and a 
bit thick — maybe 145 pounds — but with a definite sexual 
presence about her. She definitely worked what she had to her 
maximum advantage. 

Some light banter and deep eye contact established mutual at- 
traction early on. At one point, one of her supervisors — we'll 
call him "R" — entered the room in which they were working. 
The conversation turned abruptly from discussing "work" to 
this: 

W: "Hey, R... such a jerk" (then playfully, to me) "He called me 
fat the other day." 

R: "I did not!" 

D: (playfully to her) "You're so huge." 
W: "I'm not a pound over 300." 



50 



Practical Advice 



D: (playfully to her) "You're big as a barn. At least 400 pounds." 

Now what the hell does her weight have to do with anything? 
This conversation is a total non-sequitur to the man not well- 
versed in subcommunication. But to the man fluent in wom- 
anese, this conversation is loaded with meaning. Specifically, 
she was acknowledging her attraction to David. And more im- 
portantly, this woman was indirectly, with subcommunication, 
evaluating his comfort level with her weight; whether or not 
David would judge her personally or make her feel bad in any 
way. 

Note: W was not "subcommunicating" in a conscious way. 
She had simply learned through experience with men several 
lessons: 

• Most men are judgemental about a woman's looks. 

• Most men are more worried about what other men will 
think than they are about having a good time with a wo- 
man. 

• Most men will "cop and blow," treating her with con- 
tempt after they get what they want from her. 

Also through experience, W has learned how to swiftly and 
unconsciously evaluate men. It doesn't take much for a woman 
to figure out where a man stands with respect to her looks. 



51 



6 The Magic Pussy Syndrome 

The power of the p-n-s-s-y — Best of Both Worlds, by 
Jay-Z and R. Kelly 

MAGIC Pussy Syndrome (MPS) — a term coined by 
the authors — is the belief that because a woman 
has a pussy, she is entitled to special privileges at 
other people's expense. Such as: free drinks, free 
dinner, alimony, child support. The list goes on. In contrast, 
most guys we know pay for everything, and at retail prices. 

Not all women suffer from this all the time. Most women have 
a bit of it in them, at least some of the time. For example, David 
Clare recently met a woman who said she had been dating two 
guys at the same time except that she wouldn't allow them to David I busted her 
date other women. Now this was not an otherwise bad woman, ^'"^ '^'■'^ 
in fact, she was a Good Girl. But she believed that because she ^""-^'"''^ "''""^ 
was a woman, she had the right to behave this way, and that 
the men she dated did not. 

In this chapter we will help you to quickly recognize the pres- 
ence of MPS in the women that you encounter. We will explain 
the origins of this mental disease and provide you with powerful 
knowledge that will enable you to counteract it. 



Recognizing MPS 

As men we gain great power by understanding and acknowledg- 
ing MPS, but at the same time, demonstrating that we refuse 
to take it seriously. This has the effect of short-circuiting the 
woman's aloofness and superior attitude. When a man shows 
that he is above a woman's MPS, she instinctively recognizes 
that she is dealing with a rare and superior male. In a healthy 
woman, this will wonderfully transform her into the pursuer 
of the man. 

It can also be said that MPS serves as a screening mechanism 
for the woman. The majority of males will simply accept the 
MPS frame from her, while only the best males will recognize 



♦ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



the frame but not accept it. 

Your recognition of MPS can be a very effective metlnod to elim- 
inate women from your life who will prove to be a pain-in-the- 
ass, and you can accomplish this very early on in your interac- 
tions with them. 

For example, suppose you have met an interesting and attrac- 
tive woman. You arrange for a casual excursion, perhaps a visit 
to a new gallery opening, followed by a bite to eat afterwards. 
Really simple stuff. But she arrives late to the rendezvous (her 
excuse is irrelevant). Her next actions are critical: if she makes 
it up to you in some material way (like paying your ticket), you 
can safely let the lateness pass. If instead she follows her excuse 
with a request or a demand that you (or "we") do something 
that was not on the itinerary, and she expects you to pay for 
it, then you had better watch out! You should consider such 
behavior as a major red flag. If you don't check her behavior 
right then and there, she will worsen the behavior until she 
reaches your pain threshold. You will know you've reached 
that threshold by that shriveling feeling in your scrotum.^ 

If you let things get that far, what happens next will determine 
the entire course of any relationship you have with this wo- 
man. If you pitch a fit, you can now consider that she officially 
owns you. If she pitches a fit, and you supplicate in the hopes 
of calming her down, you are also officially owned. If you look 
deep into her eyes and tell her: "Hey, you know, it's been fun, 
but I gotta go" you may never hear from her again and wonder 
why.^ 

When you playfully tease a woman about her MPS, she will ei- 
ther withdraw from you, or she will transform herself into your 

Joseph I once dated a woman who had several boyfriends on the go at the 
same time. When she discovered that a former flame of mine had contacted me, 
she became infuriated. She felt it perfectly normal for her to maintain regular 
contact with past and present lovers, but completely unacceptable for me. She 
honestly believed this! 

^Franco Finland, where I have been living now for many years, is an ex- 
tremely feminist country. Most women are used to having the average guy 
totally figured out. These women will usually withdraw completely from the 
game when they meet a guy who keeps the frame "I, male, am the Prize", even 
if they are clearly attracted to such a man. 



54 



Recognizing MPS 



pursuer. Later in this chapter, we'll give some practical advice 
on how to properly handle a woman who displays clear signs 
of MPS. But for now, let's consider the motivations of the wo- 
men whose MPS will cause them to retreat from a strong man 
who refuses to supplicate to them. In this group, let's discuss 
two sub-groups, the Low Self-Esteem (LSE) Group and the Po- 
litical Group. 

The LSE Group will naturally withdraw from interacting with 
a strong man, because they start to feel strong feelings of Low 
Self Esteem once they notice that the man is not promptly react- 
ing as a supplicant to their MPS. Because these women are so 
accustomed to men supplicating, when they meet a man who 
simply refuses to do so, they take it as a personal insult. There 
is nothing you can do to correct such women, and unless you 
enjoy pain, it is best not to consider any serious relationship 
with them. 

Any relationship started by such LSE women is a dead end in 
both directions. They will react with frustration to a man who 
does not supplicate to their MPS because they take it as a per- 
sonal offense. On the other hand, they tend to become sexually 
frigid over time with men who do supplicate to their MPS, be- 
cause the feminine part of their personality cannot derive last- 
ing satisfaction out of such a dynamic. 

The Political Group may withdraw from strong men for purely 
political reasons, even if they are sexually attracted to the man in 
question. This type of woman is very common at university 
campuses and within highly urban areas in the western world. 
These women are very often politically liberal, and they will 
often openly reject conventional notions of physical beauty. 

Strangely enough, many women in these politically liberal en- 
vironments, especially highly-educated university women, usu- 
ally do not have much experience with masculine men at all. 
Many are prudes. And the men they are experienced with, 
are often a narrowly-defined group of men who self-identify 
as feminists. These male feminists also typically have little ex- 
perience with women, and the experiences that they do have 
are generally reinforcing of their feminist viewpoints. You can 



55 



4b Joseph <> David 9 Franco 4k 



often recognize the Political Group of MPS-sufferers by their 
perennial complaint: "There are no good men left!"'^ 



Origins of MPS 

Our hypothesis about the origin of the Magic Pussy Syndrome 
is that female sexual arousal is initated especially by words, 
whereas male sexual arousal is initiated by visual stimuation. 
This creates an obvious mismatch between male and female 
sexuality, such that attractive women easily become overloaded 
with approaches from males. And males usually initiate inter- 
actions with women in such a way that leaves no doubt that 
they are basing their attraction solely on visual factors, which 
is usually not sufficient to arouse a woman or to convince a 
woman that continuing the interaction will be worth her while. 
The result of this is that, over time, may women come to believe 
that they are entitled to special advantages in our society. With 
men approaching and supplicating to women all the time, and 
demanding nothing more from the woman than that she look 
good, it becomes rather easy for women to exploit natural male 
sexuality in this way. 

We believe that this mismatch between the male and female 
method of sexual approach may be created by nature with evo- 
lutionary purposes in mind. It is also possible to observe this 
type of mismatch in the animal species. 

Please keep in mind that our observations here do not con- 
stitute value judgements against women. Women who suffer 
from the Magic Pussy Syndrome are not bad women; it's just how 
they are. Instead, consider this information as a value judge- 
ment for your time. If you easily get tranced-out by women, es- 
pecially those wasting your time and money, learn how to deal 
with this now, before you find yourself deep into a relationship 
and thoroughly whipped. 



^ David: The 26-year old, very attractive beautician who cuts my hair 
laughs at these prigs. According to her, there are good men everywhere. 



56 



Pussy Trance 



Pussy Trance 

The corresponding effect on men who haven't come to grips 
with the Magic Pussy Syndrome can be referred to as the Pussy 
Trance. The Pussy Trance is a generalization of the term "pussy 
whipped;" the difference is that being under the spell of a Pussy 
Trance happens to men that aren't even in a sexual relationship 
with the woman. These guys treat all women as if their pussies 
are magic. On the other hand, being pussy whipped implies that 
the man is in a relationship, where the woman is figuratively 
carrying his balls around in her purse. 

Here are some indications that you may be in a Pussy Trance: 

• If you find yourself in the company of a woman, doing 
something you don't really want to do, and you aren't 
sure how you came to be doing it, you're tranced. 

• If you approach a woman you are interested in, and she 
ends up leading the discussion in directions that you don't 
want to go, you are tranced. 

• If at any time, you make excuses for an adult woman's 
bad behavior just because she is a woman, you are either 
tranced or in danger of being tranced. If this bad behav- 
ior is affecting you adversely and you are still making 
excuses for the woman, you are definitely pussy tranced. 

If you see yourself in any of the above situations, you are al- 
ready ahead of most guys, merely by the fact that you are now 
taking steps to understand what's going on. Perhaps you have 
been unproductively spending a lot of time and money dating, 
with no romance developing. Break your trance now! Start by 
putting a value on yourself, your time and your money. When 
you are with a woman who starts to push against these val- 
ues that you've set for yourself, give yourself a reality check. 
Ask yourself whether she is wasting your time and money, or 
whether the interaction or relationship is worthy of what you 
are putting into it.* 

■^David I once went to lunch with a latin woman from South America. We 



57 



j|b Joseph 0 David ^ Franco d|k 



Practical Advice 

You should recognize MPS as an integral psychological aspect 
of most women that needs to be taken into account when inter- 
acting with them or when seducing them. Biologically, /ema/es 
choose for sex. Therefore, let the woman feel as though she is has 
free reign to choose whether or not to have sex with you, with- 
out any pressure from you. If she feels the need for her ego to 
be stroked {i.e., she needs to feel as if her pussy is magic), it's no 
big deal. But never, ever allow a woman like this into a serious 
relationship with you, without first ensuring that everything 
else she brings to the table is complementary to or supportive 
of your non-sexual interests. 

In other words, let the woman choose for sex, but ensure that you, 
the man, are the one choosing her, the woman, for the relationship. 
And you must absolutely ensure that your choice is not based 
on the fact she has a pussy and she happens to be physically 
attractive. 

For you chivalrous fellows, be kind to elderly women, of course. 
An elderly woman who was raised with some manners will ap- 
preciate being treated like a lady. 

When dealing with women who insist on being treated like 
ladies, first make sure that they are acting like ladies. If they 
aren't acting like ladies, don't treat them as if they are, no mat- 
ter what they look like! If you do, you are definitely in a pussy 
trance, so stop it. 

From our experience, the man that effectively neutralizes MPS 
can have open sexual relationships with multiple women si- 
multaneously, without too much trouble. No woman in his 
harem will feel played when they have to make a conscious 
choice to engage on such a man's terms. Therefore, once you 
recognize MPS and deal with it properly, there no longer re- 



ended up discussing politics somehow. She ended up practically screaming 
about George W. Bush, Iraq, baby killers, and so on. 1 tried to reason with 
her. Bad move! I had been tranced out with our delightful tete-a-tete and she 
tooled me hard. It's funny now to remember that I was thinking at the time 
that I didn't want to "take advantage" of her. 



58 



Practical Advice 



mains any need to lie to women about your desires or inten- 
tions. 



59 



7 Female Archetypes 

Yup. She was a ho... fa' sho. — Andy, in "The 40 Year 
Old Virgin" 

N this chapter we classify women with broad strokes, pick- 
ing out highlights and stereotypes of each kind of wo- 
man, and explaining the ramifications of each personality 
trait within a relationship. We also believe, from personal 
experience, that these terms "Good Girl", "Adventuress" and 
"Materialista" will be universally understood by all women of 
sufficient femininity to be attracted to normal, masculine men. 

We categorize women into three simple classes, each with Sex 
Drive and Self-Esteem attributes. These labels were chosen for 
their common-sense utility. Here we offer distilled, common- 
sense advice on dealing with women based on our extensive, 
practical experience. 

Many people hold the strong opinion that the only socially ac- 
ceptable type of woman is the Good Girl, preferably with high 
self-esteem and a low sex drive. ^ Unfortunately, women pub- 
licly exhibiting any other behavior are judged rather harshly 
by our society. 

In this chapter, we are going to teach you the basics about these 
Female Archetypes, and in the next chapter, we are going to get 
into greater detail on how to wisely choose the right women for 
your relationships. 

It is important to note that we make no value judgment against any 
woman zvhatsoever, either positively or negatively. The terms The 
terms "Good Girl," "Adventuress" and "Materialista" are sim- 
ply useful labels, and all women will have elements of each 
type in greater or lesser degrees. 

Our perspective is — in most cases, but not all — intended to 
supplement rather than supplant other author's experiences. 
For example, Robert Greene in The Art of Seduction [8] lists six- 
teen types of seduction "victims". The descriptive traits he 
ascribes to each type of victim are excellent characteristics to 

'Bad behavin' women need good lovin' too! 



A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



bear in mind when you want to build rapport with someone. 
Our taxonomy deals on a more fundamental level, and allows 
for the calibration of attraction and connection. Our types and 
Greene's types can be viewed as orthogonal, and both his and 
ours can be used for great effect in seduction at any speed, and 
especially for relationship management, which we regard as 
simply long-term seduction. 



The Adventuress 

The Adventuress engages in sexual activity to gain emotional 
validation and public attention. For example, consider the she- 
nanigans of Miss Paris Hilton, before she was incarcerated for 
violating probation. This attractive young woman is appar- 
ently driven to appear in public, even at the risk of making a 
spectacle of herself. 

Other women of the Adventuress stripe in the popular view 
include Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie and Madonna. 



The Materialista 

The Materialista is a woman who actively trades sex or atten- 
tion and affection for material "stuff." We use the term Mate- 
rialista instead of "ho" or "golddigger" to indicate the general 
phenomenum of trading sex for stuff in general, versus trading 
sex directly for money, which is prostitution. Every woman has 
some Materialista in her. The behavior is natural, a result of 
evolutionary pressure. 

Personally, we can't think of a better example of a Materialista 
than the brilliant and unique Zsa Zsa Gabor. Married nine (!) 
times, to a series of important and wealthy men, culminating in 
her latest and longest running marriage to Frederic Prinz von 
Anhalt, a man recently described as an "aging German stud" in 
a late 2007 issue of Vanity Fair magazine. Interestingly enough. 



62 



The Good Girl 



Zsa Zsa's second husband, Conrad Hilton, was Paris Hilton's 
great-grandfather. 



The Good Girl 

The Good Girl is more dissociative between her sexual life and 
her presentation of herself to the outside world. In other words, 
she is more concerned about public appearances and not being 
viewed in a negative light with regards to her sexuality by her 
friends, family and society at large. In our experience. Good 
Girls are commonly interested in forming a close relationship 
with a man on the basis of love and mutual good feelings. As 
of the time of this writing, Jennifer Anniston — or at least her 
public persona that most people are familiar with — definitely 
qualifies as the USA's quintessential Good Girl. 

Just as we do not make value judgements about Adventuresses 
and Materialistas, neither do we make value judgements about 
Good Girls. In fact, the label "Good Girl" refers primarily to 
how society in general judges her outward behavior. We be- 
lieve that somewhere in the heart and mind of every Good Girl 
there is an Adventuress waiting to cut loose with the man of 
her dreams, and perhaps a Materialista who isn't adverse to 
at least the thought of "getting a good deal." And make no 
mistake. Good Girls can be just as ruthless pursuing their de- 
sires as any Adventuress or Materialista! The difference is in 
the underlying emotional motivations of each of these types of 
women. 



Sex Drive and Self Esteem 

The sex drive in humans is a powerful motivating force, in both 
men and women. Modem, western society downplays the fe- 
male sex drive, while it both derides and exaggerates male sex 
drive. In truth, both males and females exhibit a wide range 
of sexual drive, which will also vary during different periods 



63 



A Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4 



of an indivudual's life. The following terms "high drive" and 
"low drive" are not necessarily absolute, and in many cases 
should be qualified within the context of any existing relation- 
ship. One man's low-sex-drive woman may be another man's 
high-sex-drive woman. 

Self Esteem is also a crucial factor in determining both the qual- 
ity and tenor of adult relationships. Determining the woman's 
level of basic self esteem in conjunction with her level of sex 
drive — in advance of entering a romantic relationship — can 
save you a lot of time, money and heartache. 

High Sex Drive 

This category of woman is easily understood. It's important to 
realize that a woman's outward appearance, her morals, and 
her personality archetype has little direct bearing on whether 
or not she has a high sex drive, which we will denote by HD. 
Throughout this book, we will provide you with valuable in- 
formation about how to detect the level of a woman's sex drive 
and how to augment it through your own words and actions. 
For now, it is vital to recognize that female sexuality is some- 
thing beautiful and natural, and it should be appreciated and 
cherished, rather than feared or judged. 

Low Sex Drive 

Women with a lower sex drive (LD) will often place greater em- 
phasis on the raising of children rather than on the producing of 
children. It is easy to see why nature has made it necessary to 
have both HD and LD women. We have found from experi- 
ence, however, that LD women can sometimes be transformed 
into HD women, at least for a period of time. We will get into 
more detail in the following chapter, but for now consider that 
an LD woman who considers that she has her man all figured 
out will lose interest in him very fast. She will be more in- 
terested in a man who appears to be less preoccupied with sex 
and who is frequently away for long periods of time, especially 
with masculine-type missions and conquests. 



64 



Two Modern Archetypes 



High Self-Esteem 

Women with high self-esteem (HSE) place heavy importance 
on safety for both themselves and their future offspring. When 
we say "safety", we are of course referring to physical safety. 
But we are also talking about emotional and social safety. ^ For 
almost any woman, her reputation and her standing among 
her peers is very important. However the HSE woman will be 
much less willing to accept bad behavior from you as some- 
thing normal or tolerable. An HSE woman expects and de- 
mands the best for herself. 

Lozu Self-Esteem 

People with low self-esteem (LSE) will more frequently suf- 
fer from feelings of discouragement and a lack of self-worth. 
When they receive poor treatment, they are more likely to feel 
that it is justified and deserved. When they receive good treat- 
ment, they are more likely to discount such treatment as being 
undeserved and consider the donor of such treatment to be ei- 
ther misinformed or stupid. In the next chapter we will pro- 
vide you with some simple and elegant tests that will help you 
to detect the level of self-esteem in women. 



Two Modern Archetypes 

The following paragraphs describe two types of women com- 
mon in the urban west, especially in the cosmopolitan core of 
large cities. 

The Situational Ten 

The most attractive woman within a social circle or a subcul- 
ture dominated by males is a Situational Ten. She is the woman 
who most all of the men in the circle desire, and she knows it. 

^Social Safety is one of the most important considerations for a woman 
thinking about starting a sexual relationship with a man. 



65 



♦ Joseph 0 David '^P Franco ^ 



In some cases, such women may not be looked at twice in a 
nightclub or anywhere outside of her situational circumstance. 
But due to their intellect or athletic ability, or some other ca- 
pability to enjoy relatively-masculine endeavors, these women 
are able to achieve material success in male-dominated fields. 
These women are highly status conscious, in many cases choos- 
ing such fields with full knowledge they will have the the "pick 
of the litter" when it comes to men. Courting or seducing these 
women is hard because it is absolutely impossible to fake status 
in these fields; achievement is public knowledge. 

Any given nightclub, sporting event, or social activity will also 
have its Situational Ten. However, in these cases, the Situa- 
tional Ten is highly likely to be "hot" in the popular culture 
sense as well. 

The Eternally Single Woman 

Many modern, liberated woman, beneficiaries of the pioneer- 
ing work of early feminists, have reached material and physical 
security undreamed of by previous generations. Some of this 
progress has occurred due to gender-based affirmative action. 
Women of the current generation are encouraged to postpone 
marriage and children, to travel and see the world. These phys- 
ical and emotional explorations allow women to develop sex- 
ual and emotional sophistication previously unheard of. The 
result of this is that the modt rn woman suffers from rising ex- 
pectations even as she moves through repeated failures of suc- 
cessive relationships. We call such a woman the Eternally Sin- 
gle Woman (ESW). 

By the time a modern, urban, well-educated, well-read, well- 
traveled woman reaches her mid-30s, she has most likely ex- 
perienced a much wider variety of sexual experience than 90% 
of the males her age. This presents her with a problem: given 
that she is physically secure and financially self-sufficient, her 
need for a man revolves around satisfying only her sexual and 
emotional needs. Compounding this problem is that her expec- 
tations rise with each successive relationship, while her value 
for bearing children simultaneously declines. 



66 



Practical Advice 



The ESW is a creature of the modern, urban west. She typi- 
cally has a college education. She may consider herself well- 
traveled, having taken trips to exotic locations and stayed in 
luxurious hotels. She may consider herself well-read; a con- 
sumer of best-sellers. She may have a lucrative job, which she 
considers as her career. And yet she may be petrified at work 
when she is finally required to be responsible for the bottom 
line. 

The ESW most likely has a cloud of men willing — if not ea- 
ger — to invest their time with her, in exchange for very little 
return to themselves. She does not treat these men with re- 
spect, but when she needs something distasteful done, she can 
always find a man to perform the task. She is, unfortunately, 
not sexually attracted to these men. In the best case, she may 
feel sorry for these guys, but she will not have sex with them. 
Why should she, when they will do her work for free? 

As you may imagine, these women often lead very frustrat- 
ing lives. While on the one hand they enjoy material success 
and the adoration of men, on the other hand they find them- 
selves moving about freely in a world with so few "real" men. 
Wornen, just like men, are constantly being fed mixed mes- 
sages about what it means to be a "real" man or a "real" wo- 
man. There is an endless stream of men willing and able to 
buy them dinners, take them on vacations, or lend a sympa- 
thetic ear when times are rough, but hardly any men available 
to them that they find sexually appealing. Women long for an 
emotionally strong man to lead and protect them, and instead 
they find themselves surrounded by "male girlfriends"; guys 
that are sweet, kind and understanding, but who have the same 
sex(less!) appeal as any one of their girlfriends. 



Practical Advice 

Most men today are still raised with old-fashioned values based 
on chivalry. Many men haven't a clue just how much sexual ex- 
perience women have had. Their wives and girlfriends aren't 



67 



Jit Joseph <0> David Franco Jft 



going to tell them either, lest they get tarred with a label of 
"slut" or "whore." Your review of this chapter on common fe- 
male archetypes should give you a new perspective on women 
and expand your horizons as to what is possible in the realm 
of male-female relationships. Please pay particularly close at- 
tention to the next chapter, where we will delve more deeply 
into the Female Archetypes and how to choose wisely for your 
relationships. 



68 



8 Screening for the Archetypes 

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man 
in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. 
— the brilliant Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. 

N Chapter 7 on Female Archetypes, we touched briefly on < 
the distinction that can be made between an Adventuress, * 
a Materialista and a Good Girl. These distinctions are \ 
based on emotional responses and behavior, and not by 
things like a woman's physical looks or her manner of dress- * 
ing. Furthermore, these distinctions are most useful during in- 
teractions which have an element of high polarity. That is, the 
more feminine the woman's behavior, the easier it is for you to 
understand her motivations and observe how she reacts emo- 
tionally. Women with more masculine character traits tend to 
suppress their emotional expression, which reduces the effec- 
tiveness of these categories. 

The goal of this chapter is to delve further into the Archetypes, 
and to assist you in identifying particular types of women when 
you encounter them. Most men enter relationships with the 
opposite sex blindly, mistaking sexual chemistry for long-term 
compatibility. The purpose of screening is to help you to ra- 
tionally observe the principal types of women that exist in the 
world, so that you can make wise choices regarding your time, 
energy, and emotions, before you get sexually involved with any- 
one. 

Why is screening so important? Sexual intercourse produces a i 

flood of chemicals in the bloodstream which, by nature, make 

it much more difficult for most people to extract themselves 

from the relationship after the fact. On the positive side, as a 

practical man you want to spend your time, energy and money 

wisely in life. Spending part of your life on a woman who turns 

out to be totally incompatible with your goals and lifestyle is 

tantamount to stealing that time, from both yourself and from 

the women who are worthy of you. Therefore, screening is a 

vital tool in your arsenal as a happy, successful modern man. 

If we have any mantra, it's this: love the woman for who and 
what she really is, not for who you wish her to be, or for who 



Jk Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



society says she should be. This single piece of advice, coupled 
with the skills for recognizing types of women, will revolution- 
ize your skill in relationships with women. 



The Good Girl 

One Good Woman. What every man needs. In our model of 
the female archetypes, the Good Girl derives emotional satis- 
faction from being perceived as following socially-prescribed 
norms, especially those associated with sexual behavior. In 
short. Good Girls generally aren't promiscuous, and prefer to 
limit sexual involvement to more loving and committed rela- 
tionships. Even still, however, not all Good Girls are sviitable 
for long term, loving relationships. 

Remember that the archetype label "Good Girl" is not to be 
confused with making a moral judgment about a woman. A 
woman in a search for a committed, monogamous relationship 
with a man can be just as ruthless as any other woman in going 
after what she wants. If you are a man of high value, she may 
very well try to mold her personality to conform to what she 
believes you are looking for in a woman, in order to secure a 
relationship with you^ This can even include outright dishon- 
esty. Therefore it is inadvisable to consider a serious, long-term 
relationship with any woman until you have the wisdom that 
comes with experience and you are an expert at the screening 
process. 

The HSE Case 

A Good Girl with healthy self-esteem (HSE) makes appropriate 
long-term relationship material for most men, especially when 
sex drives are well-matched. This latter point is crucial; An HD 
woman paired with a low or much lower-drive man is liable to 
get very cranky and restless. A woman with a low or much- 
lower sex drive may well use sex to manipulate the man in 

'as in the bait-and-switch game, which we discuss in a following chapter 



70 



The Good Girl 



the relationship. A Good Girl who is not satisfied sexually, or 
conversely, one who feels sexually pressured, is likely to get 
feelings of depression and anxiety due to such a mismatch in 
sexual drives. 

Look for the following points when screening for a Good Girl 
with high self-esteem: 

• She tends to place value on all her relationships, whether 
with her family, friends, and mates. 

• She is in touch with her feminine sexuality and her sexual 
desire. She may love sex as much as any other woman, 
but she prefers it with a man whom she is in a committed 
relationship with. 

• She is able to accept you as a man who is also a sexual 
human being. 

• She respects the masculine world without trying to be a 
man herself or act like a man. 

• She is comfortable in a wide range of social situations. 

• She will not tolerate much abuse of any kind from any- 
one, whether friends, family or mates. 

The LSE Case 

A Good Girl with low self-esteem (LSE) may be as ruthless as 
any other kind of woman, and even more dangerous, as she 
cloaks her ambition under what is otherwise socially-acceptable 
behavior. With a woman having a high libido (HD), there will 
be lots drama. Low -libido women (LD) will often use sex within 
a relationship to manipulate her man, and quite often to his 
material disadvantage. 

Low-self esteem Good Girls are not that hard to recognize. This 
woman will be the one hissing at an edgy scene in a movie. 
She will be uncomfortable in a wide range of social situations, 
preferring to spend her time in social situations with very lit- 
tle risk. She will correct her man, in public, when her opinion 



71 



^ Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



of his actions violate what she perceives as socially acceptable. 
She will also tolerate fairly emotionally abusive situations as 
long as such are perceived by her to be more socially accept- 
able than the alternative. For example, consider how the di- 
vorce rate has risen to staggering levels once the stigma of di- 
vorce was removed through the legal expedient of "no-fault 
divorce."^ 



The Adventuress 

As mentioned in the previous chapter, these women are pri- 
marily motivated by both sexual gratification and male atten- 
tion. They are excellent candidates for women to have casual 
and /or short-term relationships with. 

However, men with sensitive hearts need to be particularly 
careful with this type of woman. It is a commonly-held myth 
in our society that men are universally able to have random 
sex with women without suffering any emotional attachment, 
and that all women require a deep emotional connection before 
being able to enjoy sex with a man. In the face of real-life expe- 
rience with Adventuresses, this myth unravels in a swift and 
shocking way for many men. 

Adventuresses typically get bored with monogamy very easily. 
Remember, they are motivated primarily by sexual excitement 
and male validation. Therefore, supplicating to such a woman, 
or trying to get her settled down into a monogamous relation- 
ship, or wishing for her to change her promiscuous ways, is 
a sure recipe for heartbreak. When a woman talks a lot about 
how much she values her freedom and not being tied down, 
pay very close attention! 

If you are ready for a casual, no-strings-attached relationship, 
however, these women can often be ideal. The proper way to 
interact with such a woman is always in a non-judgmental, non- 

^While the actual percentage is unclear, statistical studies repeatedly show 
that women initiate divorce much more often than men, ranging from 65 to 
91% of cases, depending on the source. 



72 



The Adventuress 



jealous fashion. 

You can recognize an Adventuress by observing her dating pat- 
terns. An Adventuress who is i young or inexperienced may 
have a trail of broken-hearted men behind her. She will gen- 
erally be more open to discussing sexual topics. Dating and 
courtship will cause her to get bored quickly, while proper phys- 
ical escalation will excite her. You will more readily discern the 
difference as you gain experience. 

It should be noted that Adventuresses can often have many 
Good Girl qualities, especially when it comes to their platonic 
relationships. Just be very careful that you do not confuse a 
woman's kindness and friendliness with sexual loyalty and de- 
votion. 

The HSE Case 

A woman who is an HSE Adventuress is a woman who loves 
pleasure for it's own sake. She is not bound by typical social 
conventions when it come to her sexuality. Therefore, an HSE 
Adventuress is a woman who thrives on male attention and/or 
sexual variety, but she is not doing so in a self-destructive way. 
A list of well-known HSE Adventuresses would include the 
likes of Madonna and Angelina Jolie, although both of these 
women have slowed down considerably in the last few years 
or so. 

The LSE Case 

The Adventuress is often typified by self-destructive behavior, 
therefore many Adventuress you will meet will be of the LSE 
variety. An LSE Adventuress may very well sabotage a per- 
fectly good relationship with you, by cheating for example, be- 
cause an LSE woman simply cannot accept that she deserves a 
stable, monogamous relationship with a good man. If you at- 
tempt to impose one on her she is likely to rebel. As already 
mentioned, an Adventuress also craves sexual variety and an 
LSE woman will jeopardize her health, her other relationships, 
and sometimes her physical and mental safety in order to sat- 
isfy her emotional or physical cravings. 



73 



jjb Joseph 0 David Franco ^ 



The Materialista 

Materialistas are primarily motivated by material wealth, by 
money, prestige and the power that such things bring. An in- 
experienced, tactless Materialista may easily get upset at the 
suggestion that you split the bill on dates, whereas a more so- 
phisticated Materialista may actually bait you by offering to 
pay on occasion, knowing that you will be compelled to pay 
later when it really counts.^ 

You will easily recognize such women by their conversation. Is 
she primarily interested in talking about money and the things 
money can buy? A favorite verbal technique of women is to 
present things to you in the third person, such as "My girl- 
friend is so lucky; her boyfriend just flew her to Vegas first class, 
and they are staying in the presidential suite and..." 

If you find that a woman's level of affection towards you rises 
and falls consistently with the amount of money you are spend- 
ing on her, then you can bet you have a Materialista on your 
hands. 

It is important to bear in mind that women with traits of a Ma- 
terialista are first and foremost human animals in as much need 
of love and affection as any Good Girl who is determined to 
preserve her chastity. But loving a Materialista as if she were 
a Good Girl is a recipe for disaster. If she's a Materialista, and 
you love her, love her on her terms as a Materialista, not on your 
terms as if she was a Good Girl. If you must have a Good Girl, 
go find one. 

We are confident in saying that virtually all women have a bit 
of Materialista in them. Throughout the ages, female survival 
depended on the skills of getting men into a position where 
they would provide in a material way for the women, and do 
so willingly. There is therefore no point in expressing anger 
or frustration when a woman demands that you pay for her 
drinks or food. Just realize that some women are more bent 
on extracting wealth from men than others. It is up to you as 

^ A Good Girl may also get upset, but for a different reason: the man picking 
up the tab is the socially-approved manner of courtship. 



74 



The Materialista 



a Modern Man to determine what your standards are, which 
women will enjoy a place in your life and on what terms. 

The key to handling a Materialista, or handling any women 
showing a bit of materialism in her behavior is to "pimp" her. 
That is, you must put the woman to work for you, by having 
her do little things for your benefit, at your convenience, at her 
expense. This might be cooking or cleaning for you, or run- 
ning errands to the market, or ordering items from the inter- 
net. Real-life prostitutes require a full-time, professional pimp, 
who handles the business side of her operations, and provides 
emotional support when necessary. The rest of us need only to 
recognize the symptoms of the Materialista when they emerge, 
and take immediate steps to deal with them. 

Again, a certain amount of Materialista behavior is natural and 
normal in any healthy woman, because any normal girl wants 
to get the best deal that she can. We choose to celebrate this 
fact and turn the woman's nature to our advantage. Even bet- 
ter, when in a committed relationship with such a woman, this 
behavior can be turned to mutual advantage, benefitting the 
relationship as a whole. 

The bottom line is, she needs to be working for you; not the other 
way around. You need to set and maintain a strong frame of 
you and her against the world rather than you and her against 
each other. This means you must be a man who knows how to 
lead a woman and cannot be intimidated — either by her or by 
other men.^ 



^Joseph: One night while out at a swanky place a female friend pointed out 
a well-dressed, much older man and said "He wants to buy me a drink Joseph! 
What should I do?" I said to tell him that you will gladly accept a drink, for 
yourself and your friend (me). This man bought us three drinks each before 
we all went our separate ways, with her and I heading back to my place. My 
friend gave the man companionship in exchange for the free drinks, and he left 
happy. She saved her more romantic affections for me. It worked well for me 
because of my non-judgmental, non jealous attitude, and my encouragement of 
the friendly exchange that took place. 



75 



Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



The HSE Case 

HSE Materialistas can be dangerous — to your wallet, your 
pride, and your emotions — and conversely they can be a lot 
of fun if you know what you are doing. In this case, you will 
need great inner strength. If you have any tendency to buy 
a woman's favor through gifts, a Materialista is not for you. 
However, if you are steadfast in your principles and refuse to 
pay for the affections of women, and if you are completely non- 
jealous and happy for her to get her material needs met else- 
where, such a woman can learn to appreciate a modem man 
very much. Materialistas need love too, and if she has a High 
Sex Drive (HD), she will find you very appealing indeed, if you 
embody the above-mentioned qualities. 

It needs to be mentioned that a Low Sex Drive (LD) Materialis- 
tas can be particularly dangerous for a man. These women under- 
stand the male sexual drive, yet they do not share the same pas- 
sion for sex. Since they are very calculating and always angling 
for money, they are able to fake sexual arousal fairly adeptly. 
They can also withdraw sexual affection quite easily, and they 
do! It is a trap designed to make the man spend more money 
in order to revive what he mistakenly experienced as passion 
coming from the woman. 



The LSE Case 

Even though Materialistas are primarily motivated by money, a 
woman who is also LSE will be ineffective. An LSE woman has 
trouble accepting anything of true value from anyone. An LSE 
Materialista will also be virtually impossible to satisfy, because 
not only does she require more and more material treatment, as 
all Materialistas do, but she also will get less and less satisfac- 
tion from such treatment because of her LSE. In addition, she 
will "price herself" very low. Streetwalkers are very much in 
this category, having nothing other than sex to offer any man 
besides her her pimp, to whom she offers money in exchange 
for emotional support. 



76 



Practical Advice 



Practical Advice 

Remember, these categories are generalized guidelines implying no 
value judgement on any woman. We believe these female responses 
are evolutionarily derived and that they can be overridden or 
otherwise suppressed by most healthy women. 

Also keep in mind that no woman is one hundred per cent 
Good Girl, Adventuress or Materialista. People are usually a 
combination of complex traits. But these stereotypes can prove 
to be an excellent guide for you when you are making your 
dating choices. 

Our goal with this book is to help you love women for who 
they truly are, and not for who you might wish for them to 
be. Once you can accept the fact that women often come with 
very different motivations when it comes to male-female rela- 
tionships, only then will you be in a position to confidently pick 
and choose which women will be allowed space in your life, 
and in what capacity. 

Are you looking for a series of exciting, short-term relation- 
ships with women? Then, as long as you are sure you can tol- 
erate a woman's wilder side, you'll want to focus your energy 
on Adventuresses. Do you want to be a Gigolo? Then, ideally, 
Materialistas who have at least some sense of loyalty and prin- 
ciple will be your targets. Are you ready to settle down and 
start a nuclear family with children? Then the Good Girl is the 
type of woman you will want to devote your time and energy 
to- 
Above all, use this information as data-gathering for mere facts. 
Do not impose moral judgments upon women or get upset that they 
behave the way that they do. This is merely nature at work and 
also part of the effects of our modern, western culture. If you 
find you are having difficulty accepting women as they fall un- 
der these various categories, please review the chapter on the 
Madonna /whore Complex very carefully. 

Next, we will drill down into the psychological dynamics of 
women with varying levels of self-esteem. We will discuss the 



77 



X Joseph <> David ^ Franco ^ 



different styles of interactions that you can expect with such 
women, and help you to recognize their archetypes before you 
commit yourself to a relationship. 



78 



9 Female Self Esteem 



Every day I fight a war against a mirror 

I can't take the person staring back at me 

I'm a hazard to myself 

don't let me get me 

I'm my own worst enemy 

— Hazard to Myself by Pink 

FEMALE self-esteem is a poorly understood subject for 
most men. To properly understand this part of our 
book it is important to get acquainted with a concept 
known as "basic trust." This concept was described 
first by Milton H. Erickson, and it means that every person has 
a more or less of a basic sense of trust, including the ability to 
depend on oneself as well as on others. Read this chapter care- 
fully, because this concept will have a tremendous impact on 
the quality and outcome of your relationships with women. It 
is crucial to detect — very early on — the level of basic trust 
of any woman that you meet, in order for you to decide which 
direction to take with her. 

In this book, we divide women into two groups in regards to 
their self-esteem: 

• HSE: women with high self-esteem 

• LSE: women with low self-esteem 

Being able to detect a woman's own notion of her self-esteem 
provides you with crucial information about how she feels about 
herself and how she views the world around her. 

As a rule of thumb, the HSE woman has a high degree of basic 
trust. She will have a basic internal certainty that she is good, 
worthy and fit as a woman, and she will have a healthy confi- 
dence in her ability to depend on both herself and other people. 

On the other hand, the LSE woman has a low degree of ba- 
sic trust. She may view herself as worthless, bad, and/or not 
useful to herself or anyone else. Unfortunately, many LSE. wo- 
men believe that they deserve to be abused by men, and may in 



Always treat a 
imnum congrutmihi 
leith her self-image. 



♦ Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 0t 



fact consciously or unconsciously goad men into abusive acts 
against them, which only serve to reinforce their self-image. 

It is important to note that our division between HSE and LSE 
describes end-member behavior along a spectrum. Most wo- 
men have both HSE and LSE characteristics, and can display 
either or both, depending on the context of interaction that they 
find themselves in. 



Basic Trust 

There is some determinism in this feature. Modern academic 
psychology has — at least in the media — overrated the po- 
tential that psycho-therapeutic techniques have to improve a 
person's self-esteem. What happens in reality is that if you de- 
tect LSE in a woman, she may have that feature for a long, long 
time, and in many cases, forever. 

It is important to make wise choices with your time and en- 
ergy While some people may label you as callous and uncar- 
ing for refusing to get into relationships with LSE women, it is 
the course of wisdom to realize that many unpleasant features 
Don't he Captain of such relationships will be rather permanent, in spite of your 
Save-A-Ho. best efforts to help such a woman or to show her understand- 

ing and compassion. 



The Early Frame Announcement 

Detecting a woman's self-esteem is strictly linked with a con- 
cept we have coined as the Early Frame Announcement (EPA). 
As a rule, a woman will say or do something early on in a rela- 
tionship, by which she will unwittingly reveal the degree of her 
self-esteem and also what she expects from her relationships 
with men. Therefore, it is important that you pay very close at- 
tention to what a woman does and says at the very beginning 
of any relationship. Never forget that detecting the level of her 



80 



Relationship with Sexuality 



self-esteem is crucial for you to know where to go and where 
not to go in your dealings with her. 

It is also very important to understand well the concept of frame 
when dealing with women, or any other type of human rela- 
tionship for that matter. A frame is a psychological environ- 
ment which defines interactions and contexts. For example: 

• "Doctors are good people who help others" is one frame 

• "Doctors are sadistic people who enjoy seeing blood" is a 
different frame. 

Maybe doctors are both good and sadistic, or perhaps they are 
neither The frames used when talking about such a topic are 
not to be confused with absolute truth on a matter; they only re- 
veal details about someone's subjective experience. Therefore, 
a frame is very often connected with one's subjective experi- 
ence. In fact, "basic trust" is also a frame which is highly sub- 
jective. People with high self-esteem might dwell on an idea 
that a terrorist may drop an atomic bomb on some town tomor- 
row or the next day. However, whether or not that happens in 
reality is another matter. 



Relationship with Sexuality 

If read correctly, the woman's EFA will determine the course 
of her behavior in your relationship together, with mathemat- 
ical precision. One of the most important features of an LSE 
woman is her inability to receive or appreciate good things. A 
woman with LSE may relate to her sexuality as something bad, 
dangerous, painful and/or sad. On the other hand, a woman 
with HSE will usually relate to her sexuality as something joy- 
ful, beautiful, interesting and /or positive. 

Take for example an EFA delivered via a statement such as, 
"I don't like to receive compliments." Such a comment from 
a woman, given early on in your interaction with her, should 
cause LSE alarm bells to start ringing in your head. It is very 



81 



Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



important that you never lose sight of the fact that women are 
extremely serious about their EFAs. What this woman is quite 
clearly subcommuniating — very early on — is: "I feel that I 
do not deserve good things from you or from anyone else." 

Such a lack of basic trust will have the tendency to escalate in 
a relationship. It may start with a frame of "I do not like com- 
pliments." Later on in the relationship a woman like this will 
typically make statements like, "I do not feel comfortable with 
you. I feel you may become violent" or, "I think you are a pig 
when you want sex" or, "you do not understand my depres- 
sion", and so on. 

An important feature of the LSE woman is to introduce the 
topic of sexuality early on in the relationship, while at the same 
time being dissociative in regards to it. "Dissociative" means 
that there is not a strong, conscious connection between her 
mind and her body. For example, she may say something on 
the very first meeting such as, "I like strong men who can make 
me scream," but then refuse to have sex afterwards. 

Another important, core feature of the LSE woman is a deep 
need for figuratively castrating men psychologically. In fact, their 
basic low level of self-esteem makes them see the world from a 
position of envy. On the other hand, an HSE woman views the 
world from a position of gratitude. 

Let us now take a brief look at some of the internal belief sys- 
tems of both HSE and LSE women. 



Internal Beliefs of the HSE woman 

• "I am good. I am worthy." 

• "I deserve all the good things that I can get." 

• "I am willing to give good things to other people and I 
know that I will still have enough for myself." 

• "Sexuality is a joyful thing." 

• "Men love me." 

• "I love men." 



82 



How LSE and HSE Women Test Men Differently 



Internal Beliefs of the LSE woman 

• "I am bad. I am worthless." 

• "I do not deserve good things from others." 

• "I feel I cannot give anything positive to anyone, not even 
to myself." 

• "Sex is dirty, nasty, destructive." 

• "Men hate me." 

• "I hate/ am afraid of men." 



How LSE and HSE Women Test Men Differently 



Every woman has a basic need to test the potential and strength 
of a man early on in an interaction, as well as throughout the du- 
ration of any relationship with him. This holds true for interac- 
tions which the woman intends as short-term, and even more 
so if she has a longer-term relationship or marriage in mind. 

As we've already discussed, you can detect whether a woman 
is LSE or HSE by her EPA. You can also detect whether she is 
LSE or HSE from the way she tests you, especially early on. By 
default, an HSE woman's tests are designed to test your self- 
worth. An LSE woman's tests are directed to test how destruc- 
tive you can be. A woman tests you based on her view of the 
world. And her view of the world is determined by the level of 
her basic trust. The authon have 

„ , , , . TT , , learned this lesson 

For example, when a woman says somethmg like. My last the hanl -amr if you 

boyfriend was beating me all the time," this is quite clearly an umnt to be tike to 
LSE type of test. On the other hand, if she says something like, 
"I just love guys who interrupt me when I talk", with a hint 
of sarcasm, after you've made the mistake of interrupting her, 
that would be an HSE test. 

Therefore, if the woman says, "My boyfriend was beating me 
all the time," she is testing you to see if either a) You are go- 
ing to take part in her misery and become her therapist (if you 



women, screen for 
women you can be 
nice to. 



83 



Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



choose this route, we guarantee that you will not be enjoying a 
sexual relationship with this woman.); or b) whether you are go- 
ing to beat her in the same way that her former boyfriend did, 
in which case, the sex could be really hot. 

From the LSE woman's point of view you have "value" for her 
only if you do one of the above two things. If you try to give 
her genuinely good things, she will simply not believe that this 
is possible. She will consider you to be either weak or a liar. 

On the other hand, an HSE woman, by calling you on inter- 
rupting her, is testing for whether you are dependent on her 
judgment of you for your own self esteem. If you freak out or 
get defensive, you are done. 

She is also testing you to see whether you are intelligent enough 
to understand that she values how she feels and what she says. 
You can keep interrupting her of course; but that's not really 
the issue at hand. The core purpose of her test is in fact to de- 
tect whether your level of self-esteem is at her level or above. 
In this way she can decide whether or not you are a man that 
she can feel safe with. 



Awareness of Her Own Sexuality 

A woman's awareness of her own sexuality is critically impor- 
tant. Imagine for a moment that a woman's sexual, instinctual 
world is like the motor of a car, and her awareness of that in- 
stinctual world is like the steering wheel. 

An LSE woman is usually in poor touch with her "motor", 
such that she may be under the influence of very strong sexual 
instincts and /or poor sexual instincts, but in either case, her 
awareness (driving skills) of those instincts will be quite poor. 
It is similar to a situation where a person is driving a more-or- 
less powerful Ferrari, but the driver doesn't have very much 
skill or experience with regards to driving that type of car. 

On the other hand, you can recognize an HSE woman because 
of her skillful touch on the 'steering wheel'. She knows where 



84 



LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests 



she is going and what she is doing, whether her "motor" (sex 
drive) is very powerful or not. 

The relationship of the LSE woman with her body is poor and 
for this reason she tends to be very dissociative. On the other 
hand, an HSE woman is not so dissociative. It should be noted, 
however, that dissociation is an element which is always present, 
to one degree or another, in all female sexuality. 



LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests 

You can also screen a woman for her LSE/HSE features by ob- 
serving what arouses her in the course of a seduction. We call 
these LSE/HSE Male-Female Tests. These are simple tests you 
can run on a woman to detect the level of her self-esteem, early 
on. 

The LSE Threshold Test 

We would never advocate doing this if it would not be for your 
safety. For the sake of your safety is very important that you 
know early on whether a woman is LSE or not. Please do not 
try this at home with your long-term partner! This is a test to 
be run early on in a relationship, to lest for a woman's level 
of self esteem, before you find yourself deep into a long-term 
relationship with her. 

When you meet a woman, as an early test, you can say or do 
something that is slightly-lowering to her self-esteem. For ex- 
ample, this could be giving her an order in a slightly harsher 
way than normal, or by making fun of her and then escalating 
such teasing. By doing this, you will find the level which we 
refer to as her Self-Esteem (SE) Threshold. 

The LSE Threshold is a reaction that a woman will present 
when you run this test on her. An HSE woman, for example, 
will react at a certain point with a statement like, "This is un- 
acceptable! You don't do this to me!" From this point, you can 
measure the degree of her self-esteem in a certain way. On the 



85 



4t Joseph <C> David ^ Franco 4 



other hand, if you escalate with harsher treatment on a woman 
with bad LSE, you will be able to go much further without her 
defending herself in an effective manner. Some LSE women 
will be able to tolerate very harsh treatment without present- 
ing the SE Threshold. 

A woman will stop you once you reach her threshold. If the 
woman is HSE and you like her, then it should be obvious that 
you'll want to end the test at this point. Simply acknowledge 
her objection and change the subject. 



Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 

"Eliciting Values" means to find out about the particular ab- 
stract beliefs that a woman has, which in turn produce the feel- 
ings that are important to her in a relationship. You cannot do 
this in a direct way, otherwise you will give her the impression 
that you are too much of a nice guy and hence lower her attrac- 
tion for you. For example, you would never, ever want to ask 
something direct like, "am I your type?"; rather, you have to 
elicit this information in an indirect way. 

Indirect simply means that you are finding out about her values 
without her noticing that you are doing so. This can be done 
by using active listening skills. Having active listening skills 
means that you put aside your own values for the moment, and 
you relax and listen carefully to what she says about her past 
relationships. If she stops or changes subject you can kindly 
redirect her with phrases such as: 

• "And?" 

• "Oh that sounds interesting! I can't believe it really hap- 
pened..." 

• "Amazing story! How did that happen?" 

You absolutely must elicit a woman's values in regards to one 
extremely-important thing, and that is, how she reacts to abuse. 



86 



Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 



Remember this: how a woman reacts to abuse is crucial in- 
formation that will help you to determine where she is on the 
LSE/HSE spectrum. Therefore, when you find out the history 
of her former relationships, what you especially need to look 
for is, 'has she been psychologically and /or physically abused, 
in a repetitive fashion, by her former male partners?' If she has 
been in that scenario very often, then you can be very sure that 
she is LSE. While there is absolutely no excuse for continuing to 
beat on another human being, adults also have the responsibil- 
ity to immediately and permanently remove themselves from 
unacceptable situations. 

Presenting Yourself as Free-Minded 

This is a technique to have her open up to you, so that she tells 
you what you really want to know. It is also a good test for 
HSE/LSE. 

There is a secret agreement amongst women; they talk in a 
completely free-minded way about everything amongst them- 
selves. This free-minded conversation that women have comes 
across as subcommimication when translated into the male lan- 
guage. Women keep this facet of their conversations with other 
women a secret from men, and they sometimes do this con- 
sciously and sometimes unconsciously. 

The key here is, when you first approach a woman, you should 
let her know in a subtle way that you are a free-minded indi- 
vidual. As an example, you could say something like: 

• "I can't believe how those guys made such a big deal 
about the mayor's affair. They are all adults after all." 

• "I think it is so stupid when people make such a fuss 
about sexual minorities!" 

• "I can understand that women who are frustrated in their 
marriage sometimes will end up seeking out a more adult, 
satisfying love." 

Sooner or later, sincere comments like this from you will in- 
variably cause any woman to open up. She will start to tell you 



87 



Joseph 0 David ^ Franco i|k 



things she would never imagine discussing with her husband 
or boyfriend, but only with her girlfriends. 

But be careful: don't do this from the frame of the nice guy, 
who is trying to make up for his own lack of attractive qualities 
by presenting himself as the overly-sympathetic listener who 
has nothing better to do than agree with everything that comes 
out of the woman's mouth. By doing that, you will ruin the 
sexual attraction. Your goal here is not to become another one 
of her girlfriends. Instead, be sure to put some tension and 
excitement into the conversation; disagree with her on occasion 
and tease her a bit at other times. 

Testing her Level of Self-Esteem 

Once a woman is comfortable with you and convinced that you 
are a free-minded person, she will start to open up to you about 
everything; what she likes, her sexuality, her former relation- 
ships and so on. Once you know what you want to know, you 
can then test her by becoming a little bit nastier and wilder in 
your free-mindedness. In other words, become progressively 
more crude. If she is LSE, she will giggle and become even 
more attracted to you. This is because the LSE woman has very 
chaotic and non-defined borders of the Ego, and they easily let 
strangers into their sphere of personal intimacy. 

On the other hand, an HSE woman will do something to try 
to stop you, because she will begin to feel some uneasiness. 
Caution: this does not mean that the HSE woman is not free- 
minded. Instead, this usually means that her self-esteem reacts 
to your attack on her core values by defending the borders of 
her intimacy. 

The less a woman defends an attack against her personal, in- 
timate boundaries, the more she is LSE. The more a woman 
defends against such an attack, the more she is HSE, with one 
important exception: the LSE LD women. 

The Low Self-Esteem (LSE), Low Sex-Drive (LD) woman may 
seem to be defending the borders of her intimacy while you are 
becoming more crude in your speech, but she is usually doing 
this out of a fear of sexual intimacy. Such a woman lacks the 



88 



Eliciting Values about her Former Relationships 



capacity to really enjoy sex, and this is not due to a healthy 
level of self-esteem on her part. Therefore, it is important to 
know about and recognize this sub-group of women. 

After you have performed this basic test of the woman's free- 
mindedness, you then must determine whether there are ele- 
ments of self-destructiveness in her. 

The Tendency towards Self-Destructiveness 

Once you gain experience with testing women for HSE/LSE, 
you will begin to notice that the HSE woman has a lot of men- 
tal space between the physical and the psychological part of her 
sexuality. In other words, she behaves like a person who is con- 
stantly testing your personality, and she will take the time to 
do so without rushing into any kind of sexual action with you. 
The HSE woman can do this because of her superior awareness 
of her own sexuality. 

On the other hand, an LSE woman will seem to be in a big rush 
— once you elicit her sexuality with your seductive skills — in 
either one of two directions. In one direction, she may be in a 
hurry to deny her own sexuality, by making comments like "I 
am not that kind of a woman!" This is a distinctive trait of the 
LSE LD woman. 

Alternatively, she may be in a relative hurry to grab your male 
sexual organ and to jump all over you. This is a distinctive 
trait of the LSE HD woman. The women of this sub-group may 
introduce sexual elements early on in your interaction, even 
before any overt approach coming from you. 

HSE women may also have sex with you quite quickly, but you 
will notice that before an HSE woman does so, she will take the 
time to more carefully test your personality. Not testing your 
personality prior to having sex is almost invariably a sign of 
LSE. 

Another important feature of the HSE woman is that she will 
always test you for safety. For a healthy women, she is con- 
cerned with three primary aspects of safety: physical, psycho- 
logical, and social safety. 



89 



A Joseph <} David ^ Franco 4 



This will not be an easy one to detect; women with LSE can 
also test you for safety, but they will do so from a completely 
different perspective than HSE women. LSE women will test 
you for safety from a position of fear. LSE women who have 
deep damage to their self-esteem will also test you for abuse. It 
is very sad to say, but some LSE women will consider a man 
as a high-value prospect if he demonstrates the capability for 
abusing them. 

On the other hand, when an HSE woman tests you for safety, 
what she is after is the feeling that she can safely be with you as 
an emotional and sexual human being. She is also concerned 
with her reputation in the community and among her friends 
and family. This is deeply programmed into a woman on the 
biological level. An HSE woman understands well about the 
chance for pregnancy and of the necessity of wisely choosing a 
suitable partner before she engages in the act of sex. 

When an HSE woman tests you for safety, she will often seem 
to be acting in quite a selfish manner from your perspective as a 
man and that is certainly the case. However, the HSE woman's 
selfishness will not have destructive elements within it. Rather, 
there will be always be an aspect of looking out for her own 
emotional, physical and social well being. 



Practical Advice 

Why, therefore, should you always test a woman for her level of 
self-esteem? Because amongst all of the discernible traits of her 
personality, her self-esteem is one factor that will definitively 
influence the course of your interaction with her. This holds 
true whether the interaction be will be short-term, long-term 
or even result in a marriage. 

The issue of a woman's self-esteem is extremely important. If 
you are looking for a healthy, long-term relationship, failing to 
recognize a woman's level of self-esteem may mean years of 
problems for you, severe emotional pain, and even economic 
losses. The chances that a woman with LSE can change into 



90 



Practical Advice 



an HSE woman, without years of therapy and a strong motiva- 
tion on her part for change, are extremely, extremely low. Fur- 
thermore, the journey would be full of dangers for your own 
well being as a man. It is extremely important for you to learn 
to screen LSE women out of your life, and by doing so, make 
room in your life for HSE women. 



91 



10 Screening: HSE vs. LSE Women 

What I need 

Is a pretty woman next to me 

To share the dreams that I believe 

Maybe we could start a family 

Someone who truly understands, how to treat a man 

This is what I need — / Need A Girl (Part II), by P. 

Diddy & Ginuwine 

VERYONE screens. Men and women always screen for a 
potential partner and for a relationship, and they do so 
consciously and unconsciously. On the conscious level, 
we seek to find the features in our potential partners 
that we rationally believe will suit us the best. On the uncon- 
scious level, we are motivated by the magnificent strength of 
our biological and evolutionary drives. 



Gender Differences with Screening 

With regards to unconscious screening, nature has created an 
interesting mismatch between men and women. Men are espe- 
cially driven by visual features when screening. It's important 
that you become fully conscious of that fact in order to be able 
to screen well. 

Women, on the other hand, are particularly motivated by things 
such as a man's masculine dominance, social status and per- 
sonality. 

It's easy to observe the manner in which women screen. Just 
look at any internet dating site. Women typically present a long 
shopping list of the qualities they think they want in a man. 
Men do this too, but most men will admit — if asked privately 
— that what they are really hoping for is a woman that they 
find physically attractive. 

Because of these differences in the screening process, men are 
usually completely unaware of how they present themselves to 
women. 




Jl^ Joseph -0- David 9 Franco ^ 



As a man, the two rnost important things that you should un- 
derstand about screening are that 

1. Women are always screening you. 

2. The way you present yourself will be the determining fac- 
tor with regards to the women available to you for sexual 
relationships. 

Tied in with your more visual nature as a man, you'll notice 
that when it comes to sexual partners, you appreciate quantity. 
In reality, there are probably hundreds of y^^omen within walk- 
ing distance of you right now who you would find sufficiently 
attractive. If you're like most men, if the woman is physically 
attractive, available and not completely crazy, then you would 
be inclined to start some sort of a relationship with her. 

Women, on the other hand, tend to be more concerned with the 
quality of mates they choose. This is not to say that women are 
on average any less promiscuous than men are; it is just that 
the criteria we naturally use when selecting a mate is funda- 
mentally different from our female counterparts. 

The problem that many men face is that they will often fail 
to screen for the personality of their potential partners. This 
is what women mean when they say "men think with their 
dicks." Women are very well aware of how primitive or in- 
stinctual men can be when they screen for women. 

If the quality of your relationship is important to you, then you 
will want to avoid most situations with women who display 
too low self esteem (LSE). As we described in detail in the last 
chapter, only women with healthy self-esteem (HSE) are truly 
able to enjoy healthy relationships with other people. 

It is important to discuss some of the pitfalls you will encounter 
with the screening, and how to recognize women with LSE. Af- 
ter you've mastered this skill, you'll be free to spend your time 
and energy on the multitude of HSE women that surround you. 
For motivation, let's examine some examples of poor screening. 



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Poor Screening: Two Classic Examples 



Poor Screening: Two Classic Examples 

One classic situation we see over and over again is the suc- 
cessful nice guy with a high sex drive who is only able to at- 
tract Materialistas by virtue of his material wealth, or Good 
Girls who view him as a potential provider and a fixer-upper 
"project." You can often spot such a man by his preposter- 
ous lack of fashion sense (as if his mother still dressed him), 
poor posture, passive-aggressive attitude with respect to wo- 
men and relationships and generally deferential attitude to- 
wards the woman. His relationship with both the Good Girl 
and the Materialista is likely to be notable for its lack of hot 
sex, and by a substantial amount of drama. This situation oc- 
curs because he has been screening for women only based on 
his sexual drive with the Madonna stereotype present in his 
mind. (See Chapters 16 and 17 on the Madonna /whore Com- 
plex for more information on this point). 

Another classic situation is the reformed player who would like 
to settle down but can't seem to find any Good Girls. Even the 
way he walks attracts Adventuress-type chicks and screens out 
the Good Girls, without him even being aware that it is hap- 
pening. The reason for this is because the man lacks the skills 
necessary to detect aspects of a woman's personality which 
might actually qualify her as a good prospect for a more com- 
mitted relationship. 

In both these cases, these men are simply not screening women 
appropriately for what they really want, and they are suffer- 
ing because of it. As are the women with whom they become 
involved. 



More Examples of Poor Screening 

All of these examples are based wholly on real situations. 

Mom leaves Dad and the kids and runs off with the East Bay 
Rats motorcycle gang. Dad obviously didn't screen very well. 



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Jit Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4t 



He was far too attracted to the good sex she was giving to him 
and forgot to consider her personality as a factor. And given 
that he had in fact scored an Adventuress, he didn't take ad- 
vantage of this fact (wild sex, threesomes, etc.) while the taking 
was good. 

Wife leaves husband, takes the kids, the house, the car, every- 
thing. This wife either has some Materialista in her, or she is 
seriously LSE, or perhaps both. Either way, husband didn't 
screen well enough. He was letting his Madonna /whore Com- 
plex and his visual sexuality affect his judgement and he did 
not see the important factors in her personality. Sir Paul McCart- 
ney is a recent example of this. No matter what kind of woman 
Heather Mills really is, McCarhiey certainly didn't screen for 
the type of woman he wanted. 

Dad works hard to provide for his family, and when he comes 
home he wants some peace and quiet and happy, smiling faces 
surrounding him. Instead, his wife is constantly complaining 
about how awful things supposedly are. The man is baffled; as 
far as he can tell, they have a decent life and a healthy family. 
They should be reasonably happy, but instead, the wife is only 
able to focus on and magnify every little negative detail. While 
his wife may well be a Good Girl, she may also have low self- 
esteem and a relatively high, unfulfilled sex drive. This man 
did not screen for a calm, peaceful woman. 



What should I Screen for? 

Many men wonder about the type of woman they should screen 
for. This is the most important question, which most men will 
NOT answer truthfully. The most truthful answer is "What 
kind of woman am I capable of finding?" followed closely 
"What's available?" Most men don't have enough experience 
to even realize that asking such questions is critical, or feel guilt 
and shame for wanting to have the best relationships possible. 

The reason that so many men do not ask "What am I capable 
of?" or "What is available?" is because most men do not have 



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What should I Screen for? 



enough skills to meet a lot of women and seduce them. Instead 
of developing the skills, they settle for whatever they can get 
with their current skill set, or for what society and their peers 
deem acceptable. They reside in a world of sexual scarcity, mak- 
ing themselves much too easily available to women, whereas 
women operate from a position of sexual abundance. In other 
words, women tend to make themselves scarce so that men feel 
that they have to supplicate in order to get something from a 
woman. 

The most important quality in a woman is how she treats you. If 
you cannot handle contentious, contrary women with a high 
sex drive, you had best screen them out. Women who have 
a high sex drive and have high self esteem will still give you 
lots of drama, to be sure, but it will be of a different nature. 
The HSE woman is giving you drama primarily as a means of 
continuously testing your strength as a man. The LSE woman, 
on the other hand, gives drama in a self-destructive and even 
vindictive and malicious fashion. 

Most men, especially when younger, screen on looks alone. 
This is nearly always a mistake. As the old saw goes, "kissin' 
don't last like cookin'." 

Hozv she treats you 

HSE women are able to love themselves and they do not en- 
gage in self-destructive behavior. She also demonstrates that 
she is capable of treating you and the other people in her life as 
well as she treats herself. 

All women — both HSE and LSE — have a natural tendency 
to seek power over their men. However, an HSE woman will 
target your heart. This means that after having tested you for 
Alpha qualities, the HSE woman will try to gain rapport with 
you and achieve some kind of ownership over your mind and 
your feelings. On the other hand, the LSE woman will mainly 
use self-destructive drama in her quest to achieve power over 
you. 

An HSE woman will demonstrate the skill to respect the bor- 
ders of your ego. When an HSE woman tries to change you 



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4t Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



— as all women will do to one degree or another — she will 
do so in a respecthil way, from a frame of love and a sense of 
connection with you. She will often say things like, "I feel that 
we mean a lot to each other. I would love you to open up to me 
more". With an HSE woman, you will get the feeling that she 
wants to own your heart and mind, but in a non-violent way. 

Conversely, an LSE woman will often invade the borders of 
your ego with severe drama or violence. In some cases, she 
will even be unaware that you have such borders. 

An HSE woman's primary concern will be to gain rapport with 
you, while her own feelings will be of secondary concern. An 
LSE woman, on the other hand, will be continuously talking 
or complaining about how you make her feel, with little or no 
concern about gaining rapport with you. 

We are aware that with this criteria we are screening out a lot 
of women in the western world today, but we do not care; we 
are more concerned with the safety and well-being of ourselves 
and you, the reader. 

Now that you are clearly able to recognize women for their pri- 
mary attributes, you are in a position to look beyond physical 
beauty and focus on true compatibility with your goals and de- 
sires. The great news is that once you develop these skills you 
will automatically become more attractive to women in gen- 
eral. Women find men who know what they want in life to be 
highly attractive. However, LSE women will now typically dis- 
qualify themselves from a relationship with you, because they 
start to recognize that they do not deserve a relationship with 
a man of your calibre. 



How to Screen Effectively 

The most important weapon in a man's arsenal of screening 
techniques is being able to control the frame of interaction, right 
from the beginning of the relationship. This is done most eas- 
ily by "sweeping a woman off of her feet". A man that has 



98 



How to Screen Effectively 



the skills to meet, attract and lay a woman within a few hours 
smashes her Magic Pussy Syndrome and will have a window 
within which the choice of pursuing a relationship with the wo- 
man is at his convenience and on his terms, not hers. 

This is 180 degrees opposite the cultural norm, where women 
choose not only for sex, but also for the relationship. We believe 
that in modern, western culture, this unilateral female power is 
deadly to successful, long-term relationships. 

When we say that you should control the frame, that doesn't 
mean we want you to be a controlling, domineering jerk. It 
means we want you to know what you want and to be deter- 
mined to not accept anything less than that. 

In the long run, when a man does not know what he wants in 
a relationship, the woman will feel compelled to fill the leader- 
ship vacuum. If a feminine woman is forced to take on the role 
of leader within a relationship, she will inevitably lose attrac- 
tion and respect for the man, sooner or later. 

Eliciting Values 

Understanding a woman's value structure is critical for evalu- 
ating the potential for a successful relationship. Eliciting values 
(EV) is a very useful tool that we can borrow from the field of 
neurolinguistic programming (NLP). The idea behind EV is to 
find out what is important to a woman, and what she desires 
in life and in her relationships. 

The correct way to elicit a woman's values is to get her to talk 
about herself and her past relationships freely. This cannot be 
done if you are interrogating her in an interview style; rather it 
should flow through normal conversation. It will be helpful to 
put a woman at ease by revealing little tidbits about yourself 
at the same time, or at a minimum, displaying empathy and 
understanding for the things she is telling you. 

It is also important to be completely non-judgmental when a 
woman is revealing details about her personality. If you reveal 
your standards and moral principles too quickly, it is a surefire 
way to have the woman either clam up completely, or to try 



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Jl» Joseph <0> David ^ Franco 4 



to start painting an inaccurate picture of herself based on what 
she thinks you want to hear. 

With experience, you will be able to quickly determine the wo- 
man's level of self-esteem by what she reveals about her past 
and current relationships. You will want to ask yourself con- 
tinuously, is this a woman who sees the good in people un- 
der most circumstances (HSE)? Or is she someone who is con- 
stantly seeking to criticize and tear others down(LSE)? Is this 
a woman who tolerates and perpetuates physical, emotional, 
or verbal abuse (LSE)? Or is she someone who avoids abusive 
people and situations (HSE)? 

Compliance 

Once you are able to control the frame, you will quickly dis- 
cover that LSE women are incapable of following you as the 
leader of the relationship, no matter how self-assured and in 
control of yourself you are. On the other hand, HSE women 
will find it much easier to admire and respect a man who dis- 
plays such leadership qualities. 

The way to distinguish between LSE and HSE women on this 
point is by mastering a technique called compliance. If you ask 
an HSE woman to do something for you, she may test you to 
see if you are confident enough to really be asking for the thing 
that you are asking from her. And an HSE woman will likely 
reject any request to do something that she considers demean- 
ing or degrading to herself. 

An LSE woman, on the other hand, will sometimes get an- 
gry and hostile towards normal, reasonable requests and she 
will often comply with degrading or abusive demands. If you 
do not wish to abuse a woman, you can simply ask about her 
past relationships, or put hypothetical propositions to her, and 
watch carefully how she responds. 

The LSE Threshold Test 

We spoke about the LSE Threshold Test in the last chapter but 
it bears revisiting. Why? Because screening women on their 



100 



How to Screen Effectively 



self-esteem is so important! 

Start off by playfully joking with a woman, then move towards 
making mildly insulting comments, and go as far as you rea- 
sonably can. The point at which she objects to what you are 
saying indicates her threshold. 

If you find that you are able to say things to a woman that make 
you uncomfortable by saying them, and the woman is respond- 
ing either neutrally or by becoming sexually aroused, then you 
can be sure that the woman is more LSE than what your stan- 
dards for a relationship will dictate. 

Please note that under no circumstances do we advocate any 
kind of abuse in the context of a romantic relationship. The 
LSE Threshold Test is, however, an elegant mechanism for you 
to determine a woman's level of self-esteem when you first be- 
gin interacting with her. The test does not necessarily need to 
be run for very long or more than once. From there, you can de- 
cide whether you want to continue interacting in a normal way 
with the woman, or not. Furthermore, this test can be com- 
pletely playful and non-judgemental, while at the same time 
subcommunicating your standards. 

The Double Bind 

One very effective means that you can employ to detect LSE 
women is observing the degree to which they demonstrate some- 
thing called the double bind. 

The essence of a double bind is the presentation of two con- 
flicting demands, neither of which can be ignored, and which 
leave the victim torn between two options. The "options" are 
presented to the victim in such a way that whichever demand 
they try to meet, they find that the other demand cannot be met. 

"I must do it (or say it) but 1 can't do it (or say it)" is a typical vic- 
tim's description of the double-bind experience. For example, 
imagine trying to respond to a hostile woman, who is shouting 
at you, "I know that you don't love me!" 

Psychologists have described the double bind as a pathologi- 
cal phenomenon. However, within the context of romantic re- 



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4k Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



lationships, it can also occur in situations whicti could be de- 
scribed as normal and to be expected. 

The positive purpose of the double bind in human sexuality 
is to act directly upon the limbic system of the brain, so as 
to create a situation of confusion, which is meant to lower a 
lover's defense mechanisms, with the purpose of increasing the 
chances of sexual intercourse. Therefore, in spite of the painful 
nature of double binds, they can actually be a sign that your 
woman is becoming sexually aroused! 

Well-adjusted people with healthy self-esteem will be able to 
get into situations involving the double bind, and back out 
again by employing normal, psychologically-healthy defense 
mechanisms. If a woman's use of double binds are rare and 
short-lived, then this is a good indication that she has high self- 
esteem. 

On the other hand, if a woman is persistently and massively 
using double binds against you, and this is not connected with 
her becoming sexually aroused, then this is a clear-cut indica- 
tion that the woman is LSE. This is because the behavior in- 
dicates that she is unable to verbalize the emotions connected 
with her sexuality in a mature, adult way. 



Practical Advice 

Much of proper screening results from having an appropriate 
self-image, and demonstrating your self-image in a way the 
effectively communicates to women what your standards are. 
The following advice will help you to naturally screen desir- 
able women into your life, reducing the amount of effort to 
screen undesirable women out. 

Being congruent, also known as "acting normal", is very at- 
tractive to women. When your internal self-image matches 
how women perceive you, that is called being congruent, and 
as a result, your attractiveness to the opposite sex increases. 
Sexual selection can then proceed. Women that aren't attracted 



102 



Practical Advice 



to you will simply not appear in your life. Contrast this with 
the problem of breaking up with women you became involved 
with attempting to be someone you weren't. 

Owning your own frame with sincerity is also crucial. If you 
really know and understand what it is that you want, you will 
find a large selection of women with the desire to bond with 
you, on your terms. Women in general just want to know what 
your terms are, whether you accept them as they are, and how 
likely you are to change your mind. 

Having a man who knows what he wants is very comforting 
to women, while a man who doesn't know what he wants is a 
sexual turnoff and can even be frightening, especially to HSE 
women. Again, women without an appreciation for what you 
stand for simply won't be around. 

The man who doesn't know what he wants, who cannot ex- 
press his desire to women, puts women in a position of being 
responsible for the emotional content of the relationship. This 
will only be attractive to LSE women. And not only will un- 
necessary drama ensue, but a woman cannot feel at ease with 
a man who is so unsure of himself. 

Having very high social value such that women clamor to be 
in your presence, is also something you want to cultivate care- 
fully. A-List actors fall into this category. Freaky chicks (Ad- 
venturesses), who are primarily driven by external validation 
will certainly be attracted here. But HSE women across the 
spectrum of the archetypes are certainly attracted to men who 
have high social value. In this case, you must manage all of 
your relationships very carefully. What we do is manage our 
time, and don't allow women with romantic intentions, or any- 
one else, to waste our time. 

Having a lot of money allows a man to select among a wide 
range of women with Materialista characteristics. The more 
the money, the higher quality the Materialista. Having a lot 
of money is also attractive to Adventuresses and Good Girls, 
but for different reasons. Any woman will be attracted to a 
man who displays the qualities of leadership, ambition, and 
self-reliance. HSE women will want to share the good life with 



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Jit Joseph <C> David ^ Franco 4 



you, whereas LSE women, with their tendency towards self- 
destructiveness, will sooner or later start to exhibit signs that 
they are poised to damage your material interests. 



104 



11 Stages of Manipulation 

When it comes to marriage, one man is as good as the 
next. And even the least accomodating is less trouble 
than a mother. — Marquise de Merteuil in "Les Li- 
aisons Dangereuses/' by Choderlos De Laclos. 

E believe that manipulation is an instinctual behav- 
ior deeply rooted within female biology. Manipu- 
lation is also a learned behavior, due to one's need 
for survival. From a biological point of view there 
is not too much of a difference between biologically-rooted and 
learned behavior. In fact, from the point of view of both mod- 
em neurobiology and evolutionary psychology, behaviors re- 
peated and learned over time become deeply rooted in the neu- 
rological patterns within the brain, to the point where the be- 
havior becomes largely unconscious. As individuals are prone 
to choose behaviors which support survival, manipulation has 
certainly been selected as a desirable survival skill. 

Manipulation can be defined as the attempt to influence an- 
other person's mind to achieve a certain outcome. Manipula- 
tion is very often seen as a negative thing. We, however, are not 
judgmental about manipulation, and actually consider it a pos- 
itive feature, which has been designed to keep life continuing 
on this planet. 

In order to best manage relationships with women, the Modern 
Man should understand that there are various stages of manip- 
ulation that a woman will go through during the course of a 
relationship with a man. 

On the biological level, the female of our species is programmed 
to: 

1 . Elicit a strong sexual attraction in one or more strong males. 

2. Feel a strong sexual attraction for such males. 

3. Become impregnated by her choice of male. 

4. Have a male to provide materially for both her and her 
infant child. 




4t Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



5. Afterwards, she will subconsciously tend to operate in 
such a way so as to have her sexual attraction for that 
male decrease. 

6. Wash, rinse, repeat: she will tend to have more sexual 
intercourse and more children with other strong males. 

We call this process betaization, where the strong, alpha male 
is rendered beta — which means "secondary" or "subservient" 
— within the relationship, over a period of time. Quite often, 
this process occurs gradually and almost imperceptibly to both 
parties. 

Manipulation is widely used by women to achieve: 

• Safety and comfort for her and her children, with their 
survival being the primary purpose. 

• To thereby influence the man's mind in such a way that 
he will feel compelled to protect her and her children, 
especially before pregnancy, during the pregnancy and 
throughout the children's early developmental years. 

Female manipulation can be either creative or destructive, de- 
pending on the desired outcome. From the point of view of 
the man, female manipulation can be considered "good" when 
it supports life and the man's interests and "bad" when it de- 
stroys life and/or damages the man's interests. 

Succinctly, the more manipulation is used by a woman, the 
more it becomes natural and unconscious to her. It is like learn- 
ing to play a musical instrument: at first it is difficult and one 
needs to pay conscious attention to each note being played. 
Then, as mastery is gradually achieved, manipulation becomes 
more and more unconscious. 

Behaviors are slow to develop and also slow to be unlearned. 
In the modem woman of the industrialized countries, the way 
instincts are expressed has changed slightly with time, due to 
less-demanding survival conditions. However, the influence of 
the female's primal instincts on her behavior remains evident. 



106 



Stages of Female Manipulation 



It is important for you to learn to recognize manipulation. In 
fact — as we discussed in Chapter 4 "Female Basic Conflict" 
— for a woman's sexuality to be satisfied, it is important that 
her manipulation attempts against her man not be too effective. 
You must learn to observe female behavior and give the right 
responses, with the goal of making her happy on the emotional 
level, as opposed to responding to manipulation attempts on a 
logical level. 

Learning to respond appropriately requires knowing the vari- 
ous stages of female manipulation. 



Stages of Female Manipulation 

A woman's attempt to own you mentally will follow certain 
incremental stages, which predictably occur with mathematical 
precision. We will now discuss each of the following stages in 
detail: 

• Testing the Male 

• Seeking Communication 

• Putting him to Work 

• Evolutionary Selfishness 

• Self-Determination 

Depending on the woman's self-esteem, there are big differ- 
ences in the way these stages will play themselves out. If a 
woman has high self-esteem (HSE), she will test you and ma- 
nipulate you in a totally different way than a woman who has 
low self-esteem (LSE). 

Testing the Male 

"Let me be a little bitch to him." A woman knows on the in- 
stinctual level — and also on the rational level — that a man 



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Jl» Joseph 0 David Franco i|k 



can impregnate a large number of women without too many 
consequences. In our modem age of mandatory child support, 
this is not always true in practical terms, but biologically it re- 
mains the case that the female has a much higher risk and bur- 
den when it comes to pregnancy than the man does. 

A woman also knows that a weak male will not be able to pro- 
tect her or her children in any way. Imagine as a man how 
your thoughts about survival would be different if every time 
you made love to a woman you faced the possibility of carry- 
ing a baby in your belly for the next nine months, followed by 
the primary responsibility of taking care of the baby for many 
years to come. Imagine how you would feel if you knew that 
your partner could leave you at any time and impregnate other 
women and/or leave for war or for hunting. Get the picture? 
You would become much more selective in your choices of who 
to mate with. 

From this biological reality stems the deep need that a woman 
has to test the male for his physical and leadership qualities. In 
our modern society, the need to test for physical qualities and 
financial stability has become less important than the need for 
qualities such as leadership, intellectual capacity, and strength 
of personality; but that would be quickly reversed in the case 
of war. 

One thing is for sure: a woman in this stage will test the male 
for his skill of being a hunter. This will happen whether you 
are skilled in hunting animals in the grassy field or company 
shares in the business field; you can be sure that at the first 
stage of manipulation a woman will test you. 

A woman will always test a male who she is sexually attracted 
to. For a psychologically healthy woman, survival and sexual 
desire must always harmonize with each other. A woman who 
tests men only for survival benefits — such as a man's ability to 
provide — is denying her sexuality. A woman who tests men 
only for their sexual appeal, is either planning to live her life 
without men, or is being self-destructive. 



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Stages of Female Manipulation 



Seeking Communication 
"Open up to me, please." 

Once a woman has tested the male, and is relatively sure that 
he is strong enough to serve her purposes, her concern begins 
to revolve around making the man serve her exclusively. Many 
men who are relatively strong and pass the tests of the first 
stage, fail to understand the meaning of this second stage. This 
stage is extremely difficult for the average man to detect. It is 
instinctually and often unconsciously masked by the woman 
as a purely innocent attempt to "communicate" with the male. 

It is a feature of the feminine psyche to appreciate commun- 
ication above all else, but from an evolutionary point of view 
what the female of our species is really doing at this stage is us- 
ing language to befuddle her partner, which will hopefully cause 
him to serve her and her purposes. 

This stage is extremely important to the success or failure of 
couple relationships. Couple therapy fails so frequently be- 
cause it tends to disregard the real, evolutionary meaning of 
this stage. A very common pitfall for couples is when the wo- 
man starts to feel that the man is displaying an inability or un- 
willingness to "communicate properly" with the woman. Mod- 
em couples therapy almost invariably places the blame for this 
supposed lack of communication squarely on the man's shoul- 
ders. 

In the first stage, the woman has screened out the weaker males; 
the man was specifically chosen by the woman for a relation- 
ship. In this second stage, the woman acts as if she is seeking 
deeper communication with the man. A strong man will start 
to sense that an attempt is being made to weaken him, and he 
will then usually react with certain predictable behavior pat- 
terns. He may get angry or he may withdraw. Arguments that 
seem to the man to be based on nothing logical at all will often 
occur at this stage. 



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Jk Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



Putting Him to Work 

"Honey, please take out the trash and wash the cat, and please 
hurry!" When and if a man opens himself emotionally up to a 
woman — in the sense of what we discussed in the preceding 
subsection — from that point onwards the woman effectively 
owns the frame of the relationship. Now, the active destruction 
of attraction can begin in earnest, as she starts her attempts to 
take over aspects of the man's life which directly affect his ma- 
terial interests. For example, purchase decisions can now be 
made "jointly" which, in the cool light of rational analysis, re- 
ally are the result of the woman's manipulation attempts and 
the man's desire to maintain some semblance of peace in the 
household. 

Female Evolutionary Selfishness 

"I am never satisfied no matter what you do or how hard you 
try." This stage begins once the woman has succeeded in hav- 
ing her formerly-strong male open up to her emotionally. In 
this stage, any communication with her male partner is only 
for the purpose of deriving something useful for her and her 
children. At this stage she will exhibit a total disregard for the 
man's psychological and material interests. The man will be 
put under the power of a strong and constant psychological 
double bind, along the lines of: 

"If you don't open up to me I am not satisfied. You don't com- 
municate with me." 

simultaneous with 

"As soon as you open up to me I will use the information you 
provide in a totally selfish way for my own needs." 

Either way, the end result for the male is usually guilt, shame, 
or confusion, finally giving way to resentment and anger. As- 
suming he takes her seriously — and most men do — he will 
get caught into an ongoing psychological mechanism, which 
will make him weaker and weaker, with terribly-negative re- 
sults for her sexual attraction towards him. At this stage, he is 
no longer the strong male she admired at the beginning. 



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Stages of Female Manipulation 



I 



Female Self-Determination 

"I am full grown, independent woman now." Of course, the 
female in the relationship never was a "little girl." In the self- 
determination stage, however, another double bind — even 
more powerful than the preceding — will be thrown at the 
male. Once he starts to seek out the emotional communication 
that she had been asking for all along, she will begin to express 
sentiments such as she is feeling oppressed, or that the man is 
boring, or that he is too nice, or that he doesn't understand her, 
and so on. Again, the usual effect of such feminine expressions 
on the man is bewilderment, shame and guilt. 

If at this point the man decides that he does not care at all 
about what she says or does, she will assert that "he is not a 
loving husband /boyfriend" or "I cannot live with him because 
he does not understand me," or "I do not feel anything for him 
anymore," or "sex without communication is a turn off"; once 
again inducing some very negative feelings within the man. 

In the Self-Determination Stage, the female expresses her re- 
sentment and dissatisfaction with the relationship. This hap- 
pens virtually without exception in the case of male partners 
who have become progressively psychologically weaker with 
time. 

Men who are able to pass through these stages without a corre- 
sponding decrease in their women's sexual attraction towards 
them are exceptionally-strong men. These men avoid becom- 
ing psychologically weaker through the process. We believe 
that such men are more the exception than the norm. It is much 
better for nature to first create attraction between a male and a 
female and soon after have it decrease. That helps to ensure 
both a safe upbringing of the offspring as well as more sexual 
interactions with other sexual partners, which in turn results in 
more offspring and a wider spreading of genetic materials. 

This is not much different from what happens with many ani- 
mal species, including species where the female kills the male 
after copulation. In the case of humans, this "killing" happens 
on the psychological level. The killing of human males by their 



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A Joseph <C> David ^ Franco 4 



female partners is largely symbolic, but we must also take into 
account those men who take this process so seriously that they 
start to destroy their health through the abuse of alcohol or 
drugs, or start to abuse their partners, or even murder their 
partners or commit suicide. 

In other words, permanently-monogamous sexual relationships 
are not necessarily natural. They are partly a modern, social 
construct. Or, put another way, they are a social construct, the 
evolutionary purpose of which lasts for as long as Nature con- 
siders it useful. 



Manipulation End-Game 

In traditional, male-dominated societies, if the female cannot 
leave the relationship when her attraction evaporates through 
the process discussed above, the end result is often clinical de- 
pression and/ or cheating. Clinical depression occurs when her 
sexual attraction for her mate decreases or dies out completely, 
and she is prevented from having sex with other males by so- 
cial restraint. The woman in this case has to face a practically 
impossible conflict between her emotions, which demand sex- 
ual satisfaction, and her societally-restrained behavior, which 
prohibits sexual satisfaction. 

In modem, politically-correct societies, a common end result 
of the manipulation process is the woman ending the relation- 
ship, or acting in such a way that the man has no other choice 
but to end the relationship. Infidelity is very likely to happen 
in either case, 

Psychological counseling and family therapy usually fail to help 
couples in this situation because they start from the shaky as- 
sumption that exclusive committed relationships are always 
"healthy" and that having sex with different partners is "sick." 
They also fail miserably in detecting the slow and dangerous 
psychological process whereby the mind of the male is con- 
fronted with schizophrenic double messages from the female, 
which would be considered to fit the clinical definition of Bor- 



112 



Practical Advice 



derline Personalit}/ Disorder by most experienced clinicians on 
the planet. 

Usually what happens in therapy and psychological counsel- 
ing in the western world is that the male is made to be the 
scapegoat of a process which has been actively maintained by 
the female. There are some professionals who understand this 
process better than most, but they often do not have the courage 
to speak out about it. On a meta-level, what is happening with 
this social process is simply another evolutionary mechanism, 
one which allows for more pregnancies and for the upbringing 
of children in the most viable way possible. 

There is certainly a strong cultural influence at work here and 
it behooves men to understand these forces and to work hard 
to make themselves strong men who do not succumb easily to 
female manipulation. Above all, a man with children should 
start from the premise that he is an equally important and vital 
link to a child's psychological well being. There are countless 
studies which show that statistically, children do better in ev- 
ery social and psychological respect when they enjoy the equal 
influences of a healthy male and a healthy female parent. 



Practical Advice 

Although the onset, intensity and order of occurrence of each of 
these stages in the betaization process may vary from woman 
to woman, in our experience this process has occurred in every 
long-term relationship we are familiar with: ours, our friends, 
and our families, and in countless case studies that we have 
researched. In fact, this process is exactly the means by which 
women turn short-term relationships into long-term relation- 
ships. However, female manipulation is not difficult to counter 
once a man understands the process. Let's revisit each stage in 
turn. 

Testing never ends. Women test unconsciously. Testing is the 
woman's primary method for determining congruency and for 



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♦ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



discerning a man's authenticity; his ability to be genuine. Test- 
ing ceases to be an issue of any significant consequence when 
the man is fully congruent — both internally and externally 
The woman will still always test, but once a man has it together, 
he will pass the woman's tests without much effort or even re- 
alizing he is being tested. 

Since testing is so closely related to the mechanisms controlling 
sexual attraction, it is important to remember that testing never 
ends. Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within any 
romantic relationship is very important. One way we, the au- 
thors, maintain attraction with our mates is through regular, 
social interaction with other attractive females. For more infor- 
mation on why maintaining friendships with the opposite sex 
is important to your relationship, please see Chapter 19, "Male 
Qualities Attractive to Women." 



Seeking Communication is really her signal that she is suf- 
fering from emotional ambiguity. Most men view a woman's 
pronouncement of "I don't feel we are communicating" as a 
logical statement addressing the exchanging of facts — or a 
lack of such activity — between two people. It is not. It is 
an emotional statement involving her confusion and emotional 
disconnection from the relationship. 

When the woman puts the blame on the man, this is normal, for 
two reasons. For one, women habitually blame their own emo- 
tional distress on external factors, thus absolving themselves 
from responsibility. When a man happens to be the most con- 
venient "blame receptacle", then he gets the blame. The sec- 
ond reason she does this is that she is actually making a re- 
quest for masculine leadership. She wants her man to step up 
and deal with her out-of-control emotional state with mascu- 
line strength, and without fear. 

The only important word in any such statement coming from a 
woman is "feel." It's so important that in many cases it doesn't 
matter what she feels, as long as it's any emotion stronger than 
indifference. Anything with passion will do, as long as it's fol- 
lowed up, in all cases, with the appropriate level of physical 



114 



Practical Advice 



commitment. And always make sure that intense displays of 
passion are followed by intense displays of affection. Let's be 
blunt: keep her well-sexed. 

Being Put to Work can be stopped simply by saying "no." Do 
it sometimes. Just say no! If your woman has become habitu- 
ated to your instant obedience, then refusing a request is going 
to stop her in her tracks. She will literally not know what to do. 
Lots of drama could ensue, so be prepared. 

Another way to handle her constant requests is in a spirit of 
teasing and fun. You can gently make fun of her being "bossy," 
and so forth. 

Yet another effective way to handle a woman's attempts to put 
you to work is to negotiate with her. For example, if she de- 
mands that you take the kids shopping for clothes, you can 
kindly request that she prepare a special meal while you are 
gone. While tit for tat may seem thoroughly unromantic, by 
the time a man is in this situation, we believe the romance is far 
gone anyway. There is nothing to lose, and your self-respect to 
regain. 

Best yet, be proactive and act like a leader: women want to feel use- 
ful and contribute to something meaningful. Spend some time to 
give your female counterpart meaningful work, ensuring that 
you are the one who determines the direction of the family. You 
will find that agreeing on specific tasks becomes much easier. 
When you appreciate a good woman for her specific contri- 
bution, she will be delighted in her relationship, and feel she 
made an excellent selection in a man. 

Evolutionary Selfishness is understandable when we consi- 
der that the female's primary concern is always for her own 
well-being and that of her children. It is difficult — if not im- 
possible — for most women to feel altruistic or merciful to- 
wards a grown man. Your role as the man is to be her pro- 
tector, or to get out of her way. However, as a strong protector 
you have great value in the eyes of a healthy woman. So the 
key here is to assert your value and put a price tag on your 



115 



4t Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



leadership of her and the family. This means simply that you 
lead the relationship and continually give her tasks within the 
context of the relationship. 

Putting a price to your leadership also means having your own 
moral standards, whereby it's subcommunicated from the be- 
ginning and throughout the relationship that you, as a man, 
expect certain behaviors and certain types of treatment from 
the female, if she is to retain your interest in being her leader 
and protector. As we discussed in the chapters on Screening 
and Female Self-Esteem, certain women, obviously, will never 
be able to submit to male leadership, no matter how strong you 
are. 

Self-Determination This stage is a very strong signal from 
the woman that — in her mind — the relationship has ended, or 
is about to end. She is effectively telling you that she no longer 
views the two of you as a unit. As difficult as it may seem, at 
this stage you may need to be prepared to let her go. Your best 
chance to salvage the relationship may be to start right back 
at the beginning; let her know that you are equally prepared 
to leave the relationship if you are not getting the respect and 
admiration that you want and deserve. 

You never want to be in a position where you are chasing or 
begging a woman. Not only is that a pathetic position for a 
man to find himself in, but any shred of sexual attraction that 
had remained in the woman will be completely destroyed by 
such actions. 

In reality, a man can survive just about anything, including the 
ending of a cherished relationship. Therefore, consider this 
stage as the ultimate test of how much of a man you really 
are. If you fail this test, the game is over with this particular 
woman. 



116 



12 Root Causes of Conflict 



You are the lovers rock 
The rock that I cling to 
You're the one 

The one I swim to in a storm. 
Like a lover's rock. — Lover's Rock, by Sade 

OST of us have been in a relationship where, at one 
point or another, we felt like we were engaged in a 
battle for power with our female counterpart. Cer- 
tainly, we've all heard about such scenarios. In 
some cases the conflict can spiral into something downright 
nasty, such as verbal or physical abuse, resentment, guilt and 
shame, and finally, breakup or divorce. 

It is important to note that some friction within a relationship is 
natural and can create a lot of good sexual tension, but only if 
it is handled properly. 

In this chapter we will explain some root causes of relation- 
ship power struggles. We'll also teach you some techniques for 
managing the relationship to your mutual benefit, while help- 
ing your partner to have a lot of fun and good feelings in the 
process. The authors love women very much, and this chapter 
is about creating a positive outcome for everyone. 



Root Causes of Conflict 

In our view, there are three root causes of conflict in a relation- 
ship: 

1. Improper Screening 

2. Mishandling of Early Frame Announcements 

3. Failure to Establish Boundaries 

Failure to properly handle the above-three items is a death sen- 
tence for long-term relationships. The first two items always 




A Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



need to be dealt with before a serious long-term relationship is 
undertaken. Setting proper boundaries is an ongoing process, 
and the man that doesn't learn to set and insist on appropriate 
boundaries is running a serious risk as well. Let's now examine 
each of these root causes of conflict in more detail. 



Improper Screening 

Millions and millions of people marry the wrong person. With- 
out a strong social fabric that binds marriages together for the 
life of the partners, while also allowing the husband and wife 
some respite from each other, life-long marriage is quickly be- 
coming a relic from an incomprehensible age. Lacking a culture 
that provides a rational mechanism for choosing a mate, how 
does a man choose a suitable wife for a prosperous and peace- 
ful life? He does so by first learning to screen women for the 
traits he finds desirable. And, just as importantly, he must form 
an understanding of the price he will pay for getting involved 
with a woman with such traits. 

For example, do you want a really hot woman? One who is 
hot now, and will be hot when she is 40? Well, do you have 
the libido to keep up with her? Or the emotional maturity to 
manage her libido for her? Can you mentally and emotionally 
handle the thought of her being constantly hit on by other men, 
every time she leaves the house? If not, then you may find 
yourself much happier with a woman a little less "hot." 

Female Integrity 

To many men, the very notion of female integrity is an oxy- 
moron of the highest caliber. Right up there with "military 
intelligence." However, we believe it's unproductive to hold 
women to the same standard of integrity as men, especially, 
in the modern world where women are not held accountable 
by society in the same way men are. A better way to come to 
grips with female integrity is to "trust the woman to act as a 
woman." 



118 



The Early Frame Announcement 



For example, consider the female view of honesty and promises. 
Have you ever heard the aphorism "A woman is only as good 
as her word?" 

Didn't think so. 

There is a double standard here. Do we need to mention that 
women will break promises with impunity, yet call a man out 
for doing the same? When a woman makes a promise, it's be- 
cause something made her feel a certain way. The reason for 
the double-standard is that when a woman makes a promise, 
this is what she actually believes to be true at the moment, 
based on her emotions. Later, when she feels differently, the 
promise is no longer valid. A promise from a man has a dif- 
ferent meaning. Rational, or masculine integrity, standing by 
one's word, is a predominantly-male concept. In addition, in 
the desire to right many oppressions against women, women 
generally have far lesser consequences to lying under the law; 
thus, lying becomes a habit. 

Summarizing, we trust a woman to act with her integrity as a 
woman, not with our notions of integrity as men. 



The Early Frame Announcement 

The Early Frame Announcement (EFA) is a verbal or some- 
times non-verbal frame that a woman establishes in her first 
interaction with a man she is attracted to. Using the EFA, the 
woman subcommunicates exactly how she will place certain 
needs of her own as absolute preconditions for the relationship 
itself to exist. Sometimes this is done consciously, sometimes 
unconsciously. You can consider a woman's EFA to be a fairly 
rigid and inflexible statement of what she demands from the 
relatioiiship. 

Failure to detect the EFA can cost a man a lot of energy and 
possibly a lot material possessions. Therefore, understanding 
the concept of the EFA and being able to act accordingly are 
important skills for you to have. It's crucial that you can deter- 



119 



j|b Joseph <0> David ^ Franco ^ 



mine quickly — right at the beginning of an interaction with a 
new woman — whether it is wise to invest yourself into a new 
romantic relationship, or not. 

When properly applied, an understanding of the EFA can spare 
you from a lot of trouble and heartache. It's important to al- 
ways remember that, as a rule, most women will be totally 
inflexible with regards to their EFA, no matter how long the 
relationship may last. 

A mistake that men often make is that they fail to take the EFA 
seriously. The most important quality in a woman is the way she 
treats you as a man. The EFA is usually a clear and unambiguous 
signal from the woman about the way she will treat you and 
why. So pay attention to it carefully. 

Subcommunicating the EFA 

It is important to understand that relationships are very im- 
portant to women and that women have a compelling need to 
frame their relationships according to their emotional needs, 
which they reveal to us during the EFA. The EFA can also help 
us to determine what type of girl we are dealing with, as in 
Good Girl, Materialista or Adventuress, whether she is HSE or 
LSE, and in some cases, whether she is LD or HD. 

Women will establish these EFAs from the beginning in a very 
sweet and subcommunicative way. They may not be direct. 
Few women are willing to expose themselves as Materialistas 
by bluntly stating "diamonds = sex," or as Adventuresses by 
flatly saying something like, "I party with the fastest crowd I 
can find." Consider the EFA like a "my way or the highway" 
frame, delivered in a sweet-and-silent, feminine way. 

Accepting an EFA from a woman is a tacit admission that she 
has chosen you for a relationship. In extreme cases, she may 
demand not only very specific terms and behaviors from you, 
but she will predicate sexual availability on her EFA. In our 
experience, this is unworkable in this age of no-fault divorce. 
Even if not married, this makes it easier for her to break up on 
a pretext once whatever attraction there was dissipates, ratio- 
nalizing with "The marriage wouldn't have worked anyway." 



120 



The Early Frame Announcement 



J 



It cannot be emphasized too much that the EFA is something 
that all men should learn to listen for very carefully. In express- 
ing her EFA, the woman is giving to the man a clear but sub- 
communicated message of her most important needs within 
the context of a relationship. It is vital to note that a woman will 
always put the needs that she expresses with her EFA above the 
man's needs. These EFA-expressed needs of hers are even more 
important to her than the man himself! 

Detecting a Woman's EFA 

Have you ever been on a first date with a woman and she starts 
prattling on about apparently random aspects of her personal- 
ity or lifestyle? For example, she may say something like: "I 
am generous to a fault", and yet expect you to pick up the tab. 
Such incongruity preys heavily on the mind of most men, who 
don't understand that the women has just started dictating the 
terms of power in any forthcoming relationship, she has made 
an Early Frame Announcement (EFA). 

The man that allows a woman to establish the entire frame of 
the relationship in such a manner, will most likely find that 
his needs come far, far behind the "needs of the relationship," 
which means, her needs. Worse, he will wonder "What the hell 
is happening?" as he feels in his guts that his masculine power 
is evaporating. Ever notice how when a woman says "We", 
your testicles seem to shrink? 

Think for a moment about her statement, "generous to a fault." 
To whom is her generosity extended and why? How could any- 
one's genuinely-offered generosity be faulted? In this particu- 
lar case, what she is subcommunicating here is "I, the woman, 
am going to do nice things, like arranging flowers for you, the 
man." Notice what happens if the man remarks that flowers 
aren't really his cup of tea. Because the woman established this 
martyr-like frame early on, she now has a mechanism for dis- 
placing all the responsibility for her bad feelings onto the man: 
"He doesn't appreciate anything I do." And she will use this 
like a whip to subjugate the male. We call this behavior "be- 
taization," a process we believe is evolutionarily driven, inex- 



121 



Joseph 0 David <^ Franco ^ 



orable, and largely unconscious. 

The ramifications of unconditionally accepting a woman's EFA 
are many and varied, but all lead to the same end: the subju- 
gated male. This is ultimately an unhappy result for the vast 
majority of men and women in relationships. (We don't speak 
for — or judge — those happy couples in fully role-reversed 
relationship where the woman dominates a submissive man.) 
From the current example, a woman who is "generous to a 
fault" will shower her man with unwanted gifts and attention, 
while using guilt and shame to manipulate his behavior. 

Some Examples of the EFA 

"My former boyfriend was aggressive and he abused me." 

Translation: "I will be horny for you and appreciate you only if 
you will abuse me in the relationship." 

Now, many will object to the translation shown above and say 
that we are being misogynistic, or worse. Perhaps the woman 
is stating that she unwittingly became involved with an abu- 
sive man and no longer wishes to have relationships with such 
a man. 

Consider, please, the well-known psychological tenet that in- 
dicates we are attracted to certain types of people for a reason. 
People tend to repeat the same types of relationships over and 
over again in their lives. A woman may consciovisly feel she 
needs to stay away from abusive men and she may even know 
that these types of relationships are not good for her. But the 
fact remains that she accepted — and on some level enjoyed — 
a sexual relationship with a man of this nature. 

We suggest that there is no way a woman would enter and re- 
main in a sexual relationship with a man whom she does not 
feel a strong sexual attraction for, especially when there are as- 
pects of that relationship which are clearly unpleasant. Sexual 
attraction is the core of a sexual relationship, and with her EFA, 
the woman is clearly telling you what type of men she gets 
sexual with, or, what personality she will eventually subcons- 
ciously try to extract from the men she gets sexual with. 



122 



The Early Frame Announcemer\t 



In the translation shown above, many men have reported that 
this is precisely what happens when they find themselves in a 
relationship with a woman who has previously been in several 
abusive relationships. There will come a time when she will 
seem to be trying very hard to provoke a violent reaction from 
him. She may not be doing this consciously, but now you un- 
derstand why this happens. The important point is that it is far 
easier to know and deal with this at the outset of a relationship, 
once the EFA has been delivered, than it will be later once you 
have already enjoyed sexual relations with her for a time. 

"I like men who know what they want and take charge." 
Translation: "1 will relax and put all the responsibility for my 
life upon you, as soon as we start our relationship." 

This kind of woman can be delightful to be around. Just be 
aware that she may also be extremely passive-aggressive, and 
perhaps depressive as well. 

"I love jewels... they make me so happy!" 
Translation: "In our relationship, I will demand material pos- 
sessions from you in exchange for love and sex." 

The classic Materialista. You've been warned. 

"I often like to go dancing late at night. I don't understand peo- 
ple who like to sit on the couch and watch television." 

Translation: "1 want to have fun in any relationship and be out 
late at night, either with you, or without you. You can expect 
that I will frequently come home drunk from the club." 

Warning: if you don't know how to handle a woman like this, 
you're asking for trouble! 

"I just love to spend my time with my girlfriends after work. It is 
so refreshing to chat with them." 

Translation: "I only want to have fun while I am with you. 
Don't even think to stop me from doing that when we are in 
a relationship together." 

"I need my space in a relationship." 

Translation: "I am the most important person in this relation- 
ship and you will have to practically beg me to get any affection 
or sex." 



123 



4» Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



Be wary of attempting any sort of long-term relationship with 
a woman stating this EFA. An acquaintance of David's has been 
trying to date one of these "socially responsible" women, some- 
one who has volunteered for service in a primitive nation half- 
way a around the world. Of course, she needed her space. His 
acquaintance finally wised up after several months and went 
out and scored some one-night stands at a local hotspot. He 
rightly figured he was being used as her backup boyfriend, 
in case she wasn't able to find someone of a more socially- 
conscious stripe during her service. Her later response went 
something like: "Well, I didn't think you actually would date 
other women!" That was a gross insult to his masculinity, and 
clearly shows her actual opinion of him: lovable loser, boy- 
friend of last resort, etc. 

On the other hand, women stating this frame can make excel- 
lent partners for friends with benefits (FB) relationships. Which, 
in fact may be what they are actually looking for in the first 
place. Such women may possibly be married, or have a "real" 
boyfriend elsewhere. Who knows? Who cares? Enjoy this kind 
of woman for who she is and do not trouble yourself with in- 
vesting too much of your time and energy into her. When she 
wants more from the relationship, be assured, she will let you 
know. 



Setting Proper Boundaries 

It is vitally important that you know what you want out of your 
life and what you expect from your relationships with women. 
You should not allow any feeling of neediness or desperation 
for a relationship to interfere with recognizing a woman's EFA 
and making it clear — at least to yourself — that your bound- 
aries will not be violated. 

It's important to realize that every human being is unique, and 
what is perfectly acceptable female behavior to one man may 
be unacceptable to another man. The point of learning to rec- 
ognize a woman's EFA is not to judge her or think badly of 



124 



Practical Advice 



her, but to make good judgments for your own time and en- 
ergy. Therefore, one of the keys to maintaining power in your 
relationships is knowing what you want from women. 

Given that there are literally billions of women on our planet, 
and probably millions within driving distance of where you 
live, there is simply no reason to accept bad behavior from the 
women you choose to invest your time and energy — and per- 
haps money — into relationships with. 

It's important that a woman understands from the outset that 
you are a man who knows what his core values are in life and 
cannot be swayed from them. We are not talking about being 
intransigent or having an inability to negotiate or compromise 
in general, however, there should be certain principles in your 
life that you rarely violate, if ever. Let's say, for example, that 
you've decided not to do drugs. It would be completely inap- 
propriate for you to violate this principle in an effort to appease 
your wife or girlfriend, in the vain hope of placating her. 

To same extent, if you've made certain hobbies or friendships 
to be important parts of your life, you should never start to re- 
treat from these things if your woman starts to give you grief 
about them. You might think that — when your woman is com- 
plaining about your friend Bobby — that she really wants you 
to curtail or eliminate your friendship with him, but more than 
likely, she is subconsciously testing your inner resolve, to determine 
whether you are a man who can be swayed by a woman's emo- 
tional manipulation, or not. This is counterintuitive but crucial! 
Making the wrong choices when it comes to your boundaries 
and your woman's attempts to push back on them can result in 
a loss of sexual attraction and increased demands from her. 



Practical Advice 

The easiest way to preempt a women's EFA is by simply being 
her Prince right from the start. Sweep her right off her feet. 
If she has chosen you for sexual engagement — and choos- 
ing for sexual engagement is the woman's prerogative — then 



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A Joseph <0> David ^ Franco 4 



you should take her there so fast that she is powerless to re- 
sist. Make her weak in the knees. Let her feel herself toppling 
into you. Give her an out-of-body experience, a seduction she 
can brag about to her friends: "I had no choice, I couldn't help 
This is heavily field it." If you don't have such seduction skills, acquire them. It's 
tested advice. much less expensive to spend a couple of years and few thou- 

sand dollars developing seduction skills than it is to be married 
for years in an unsatisfying marriage, especially if the marriage 
eventually fails. ^ If you plan on being married one day, or are 
already married, or still married, as the case may be, learning 
real seduction skills will pay off. Just because Dear Wife is mar- 
ried doesn't mean she doesn't want to be seduced. Think of 
it the other way around: just because you're married doesn't 
mean you don't want a blow job. 

Lacking a memorable seduction to kick start a relationship, the 
most important thing for establishing harmonious relationships 
with women is to use the EFA proactively. Set boundaries for 
both her and the relationship directly, whenever appropriate. 
Screen her behavior for general compliance. Louis and Cope- 
land [9] refer to the entire suite of these activities as "managing 
[her] relationship expectations." The more intimate the rela- 
tionship, the more the woman needs to earn her role in that 
relationship in order to be 'happy. No one values anything they 
get for free. When you price-tag your time and energy in this 
way, you are actually giving the woman a gift that most men 
are incapable of giving. 



'Franco seduces his wife on a regular basis. David Clare seduces his girl- 
friend at least several times a month. Mr. South, well, Mr South is just one of 
those kinds of guys. 



126 



13 Female Manipulation 



The man is the head of the household, and the woman is 
the neck ~ Rev. Jerry Falwell 

OMEN MANIPULATE. This is Sure as the sun rising 
in the east. Manipulation occurs because of infe- 
rior physical strength and centuries of male dom- 
ination; it's women's source of power and they 
are generally very good at it. It helps them to feel like they are 
on more of an equal footing with men. Manipulation is largely 
subconscious; women saw their mothers doing it, too. 

As noted previously, we do not make a judgement call about 
the moral content of manipulation, other than to say that ma- 
nipulation is good when it furthers a relationship in a positive 
way, and bad when it is destructive to either partner in the re- 
lationship, or to the children within the structure of a family. 

In this chapter, we describe many forms of manipulation em- 
ployed by females, including manipulation that we have not 
seen described elsewhere. Along with our descriptions, we 
provide examples and suggestions for countering manipula- 
tion as it occurs. 




Double Bind 



The emotional Double Bind is one of the primary means used 
by females to manipulate males. It's a powerful psychological 
mechanism by which the female of our species commonly binds 
the mind of the male so as to have him invest his energy into 
her, with the ultimate purpose of procreation and the safe up- 
bringing of her children. The primary effect of the Double Bind 
on a man's mind is to have him puzzled. A man will naturally 
try to solve any puzzle that is presented to him, and particu- 
larly if it involves a female that he is sexually attracted to. By 
so doing, he invests more and more of his psychological energy 
into the particular female. Another way to describe the effect 
of the Double Bind on the male mind is to induce "paralysis of 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



analysis". In cruder terms, you can also think of the colloquial- 
ism, "damned if you do, damned if you don't," when it comes 
to the Double Bind. 

Think, for example, of the following words, dreaded by men 
everywhere: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The correct, 
logical answer is probably yes, it does make her look fat; oth- 
erwise, she wouldn't be asking. If it does make her look fat, 
stating the fact insults her, but declaring that it doesn't make 
her look fat exposes you as a liar. Now you're in trouble; you're 
damned either way. No worries, we'll revisit this situation later 
in the chapter.^ 

Description of the Double Bind 

The Double Bind concept was first introduced to the scientific 
world by Gregory Bateson (9 May 1904 - 4 July 1980). Bateson 
was a British anthropologist, social scientist, linguist, and cy- 
berneticist whose work intersected that of many other fields, 
including psychiatry. Bateson described the Double Bind as 
a communication paradox, first observed in families with a 
schizophrenic member. A true Double Bind requires several 
conditions to be met: 

1. The victim of the Double Bind receives contradictory in- 
junctions, or emotional messages on different levels of 
communication (for example, love is expressed by words, 
while hate or detachment is expressed by nonverbal be- 
havior; or a child is encouraged to speak freely, but criti- 
cised or silenced whenever he or she actually does so). 

2. No meta-communication is made possible; for example, 
it is not permissible to ask which of the two messages 
is valid or to describe the communication as making no 
sense. 

3. The victim cannot leave the communication field. 

'Joseph: A cocky thing that I sometimes like to say in this situation is, "no 
honey, the dress doesn't make you look fat, your/af makes you look fat!" All 
the while, I will escalate the physical component of the interaction. This is a 
high-risk, high-gain move. 



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Double Bind 



4. Failing to fulfill the contradictory injunctions is punished, 
for example by the withdrawal of love. 

An Example of a Double Bind in Action 

A woman will often say — in a dramatic and emotional man- 
ner — something along the lines of, "you don't understand my 
feelings!" 

If the male qualifies himself to her and tries to understand why 
she would say such a thing, then she will invariably keep on 
repeating the frame: "You don't understand my feelings". She 
will do so in many different ways, so that the man will feel 
compelled to put more and more of his mental energy into her. 

On the other hand, if the male does not qualify himself to her, 
she may repeat, over and over, something like: "You see, I told 
you, you do not understand my feelings!" 

As Bateson describes, what will happen in such a case will be 
as follows: 

1. Contradictory injunctions. No matter what the man says 
within the woman's frame of "understanding emotions," 
he loses. In fact, his attempt to even engage her on the 
topic in a logical manner demonstrates to the her he lacks 
fundamental emotional skills. 

2. No meta-communication possible. Meta-communication 
is the psychological skill of analyzing and discussing dif- 
ferent models of communication used between individ- 
uals. This skill is usually taken for granted among psy- 
chologically healthy adults, but as the woman shuts this 
possibility off from the male, he will face her Double Bind 
without any chance of discussing its content with her. 

3. The victim (feels he) cannot leave the communication field. 
This is because the Double Bind causes the victim to in- 
vest ever-increasing amounts of psychological energy into 
the person delivering the Double Bind. 

When the Double Bind is used within the context of a ro- 
mantic relationship, it assumes important biological and 



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♦ Joseph <0> David ^ Franco in 



physical aspects. Human males are strongly driven to- 
wards the female by both visual sexual attraction and the 
need for affection. Therefore, when a woman uses a Dou- 
ble Bind, the man is not usually motivated to withdraw; 
instead, he often becomes motivated to invest even more 
energy into the relationship. 

4. Failing to fulfill the contradictory injunctions is punished, 
for example by the withdrawal of love. This is counter- 
intuitive. 

Once a woman has caused a man to invest his psycho- 
logical energy into her by means of the Double Bind, he 
is now in a very vulnerable position. She can now easily 
make the man do whatever she wants, and she can pun- 
ish non-compliance with the withdrawal of her affection 
and sex. 

In the long run, allowing Double Binds to proliferate within a 
relationship is enormously destructive. Failure to understand 
and properly handle double bind manipulation can have an 
extremely-destructive effect on male self-esteem. Repeated use 
of the Double Bind by the female becomes a lose/lose situa- 
tion for both parties: he loses his self-esteem, while she loses 
respect for him. Over time, a woman can become completely 
demotivated to be altruistic to the man in any way, because by 
dominating the man's mind, he progressively loses any evolu- 
tionary value he may have had in her eyes. 

What follows are more examples of Double Binds: 

"I need a man who is comfortable tallying with me, who is able 
to express his feelings" 

together with 

"Men who talk too much are wussies." 

"I don't like really muscular men, they are usually too egotisti- 
cal" 

together with 

"A man without big muscles is surely a wussy." 



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Double Bind 



I 



"I want a man who knows how to lead me and make me feel 
secure" 

together with 

"I want a man who respects my freedom and does not try to 
boss me around." 

"I go only go out with a certain type of man..." 
together with 

"unless I'm in love, then all bets are off." 

By delivering such contradictory messages, a woman intends 
to have the man invest his energy into arguing with her about 
the content of what she said and then, following the pattern 
of the Double Bind, she will try to induce guilt and anxiety in 
the man. Note that each of the messages above simply reflect 
the woman's feelings at the particular time she was talking. 
Keeping that in mind goes a long way towards being able to 
handle the logical contradictions inherent in Double Binds.-^ 

Practical Advice: Breaking the Double Bind 

There is a very effective way to negate the effect of the Double 
Bind. It is not nice, fair or democratic, but it is the only method 
that works consistently, 

The rule is that you must recognize that every Double Bind 
has some specific content. Then, you must refuse to buy into 
frame set by the content. For example, as in the examples listed 
above, the content could "listening/not listening to the wo- 
man" or "having/not having muscles". You must, therefore, re- 
ject the content itself. For example: 

Woman: "You never share your emotions with me!" 
Franco: "Yeah. So scratch my back please!" 

Notice that the above conversation sounds exactly like an inter- 
action which might occur between two schizophrenics. Here, 

^Remember: the vast majority of women manipulate unconsciously, and 
without malice. Be the man that can look past the double bind, seeing it as an 
expression of some underlying emotion the woman may not be comfortable 
discussing, or may not even be aware of. 



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^ Joseph 0 David Z> Franco 4 



Franco simply does not buy into the frame of the Double Bind. 
At this point, women will divide themselves into one of three 
groups: 

1. Some women will react to the man's adept handling of 
the Double Bind with increased sexual desire. 

2. Women who are for one reason or another imconsciotisly 
suppressing their sexual receptiveness, and especially if 
they are intensely seeking a Provider, will simply cut their 
interaction with the man at this point. 

3. Women who are consciously trying to suppress their sex- 
ual attraction — perhaps because of political ideology or 
because they are seeking to extract money from the man 
— will either change their attitude and become friends 
with the man, or cut off their interaction with the man. 

As a man, this is exactly what you want! You want sexually 
receptive females to stick around, and you want the sexually 
non-receptive females to either disappear or simply become 
your platonic friend. 

Breaking a Double Bind requires taking the frame of interaction 
back from the woman, and then emotionally leading her away 
from the arena of conflict. 

Another effective way to do this is to not get upset but to accept 
her emotionally-driven assertion, then use male logic in an im- 
pudent way. If this produces a sharp emotional reaction in the 
woman, then escalate sexually, if logistically possible and if you 
so desire. Actually, it is highly impudent to escalate sexually at 
a seemingly inappropriate time, and that can often work very 
well. Once the woman's mind turns to sex, the Double Bind 
becomes irrelevant. Continuing with our opening example: 

Woman: Does this dress make me look fat? 

David Clare: Yeah, a big fat butt, that's what I like, gonna get 

me some big fat butt (pets her butt). ^ 

^Note well: this works for David Clare because he likes his woman's butt 
just the way it is, something she can feel in his words and touch. 



132 



AB Indecision 



AB Indecision 

AB Indecision is one way a woman will test a man on his lead- 
ership skills. She can also use this as a signal to him that she 
is "officially" turning over control to him, provided he is man 
enough to take it. This situation comes up when a woman feels 
insecure about a man's ability to lead. Here is what it sounds 
like: 

Wife: Let's go out to eat. 

Man: Sure, where would you like to go? 

Wife: Oh, I don't know. 

Man: (A) How about seafood? 

Wife: No... too many calories... (whine whine) 

Man: (B) Ok, we'll go to a salad bar. 

Wife: (Indecision) Ooohhh.,, I just went there a few days ago 
and some "thing" happened that made me feel bad (she blames 
the environment for her emotions). 

Man: (Starting to lose patience... wife won't tell him what she 
wants.) Well just tell me what you want! 
Wife: Well fine! If you're going to act like that, I don't want to go 
out anymore. 

If you recognize yourself here, you know that drama will now 
ensue, for no discernible reason. Bad feelings will develop, old 
wounds will be reopened, and in the worst case, incidents like 
this can trigger the resumption of huge conflicts. 

Let's try this agam. 

Wife: Let's go out to eat. 

Man: Sure, where would you like to go? 

Wife: Oh, I don't know. 

Man: (A) How about seafood? 

Wife: No too many calories. 

Man: (B) Ok, we'll go to a salad bar. 

Wife: (Indecision) Ooohhh... I just went there a few days ago 
and some thing happened that made me feel bad. 
Man: Well, I'm hungry, and I'm going to get some pizza. You're 
welcome to join me, or not, but I am leaving now (grabs coat). 



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^ Joseph 0 David P Franco ^ 



Now, it is absolutely critical for this man to go get some pizza. 
She will probably — at the last minute — grab her coat and go 
with you. If she doesn't, do not bluff! Leave her at home to sulk. 
Bring her back a piece of pizza. If she apologizes, you are on the 
right track. If she spurns it, simply throw it away and ignore 
her. She will probably ask later where it is; tell her you threw it 
in the garbage, and go to get it for her out of the garbage. It's 
absolutely critical to hold your frame completely. No matter 
what she says about the pizza (too fattening, too greasy, she 
ate it for lunch, whatever), just go. She can sit and watch you 
eat. If she suddenly gets hungry, make her get her own food, or 
make her work for a bite of yours. In other words, price-tag it. 
For example, if she does something nice, she gets a mushroom, 
or a pepperoni. At this point, you have the frame, and she is 
yours to do with what you will. 

Does that still sound like too much work? Good, because it is. 
Let's try a third time: 

Wife: Let's go out to eat. 

IVIan: I like the way you think. Grab your coat and keys, you're 
driving. 

Wife: Where are we going? 

Man: (Spins her around) We'll know when we get there! 

The man in example one failed miserably is because he made 
some critical mistakes. First of all, he expected the woman 
to take the lead in decision-making, something that most wo- 
men are loathe to do. Secondly, he tried address her emotions 
with logic. The woman was trying to communicate "Let's have 
fun!" and/or "I'm hungry!," with the expectation that the man 
would provide her with this, while the man was busy arguing 
over her emotional state. 

In the second example, the man still failed to provide her with 
the good emotions she was seeking, but at least he avoided 
arguing logically with her regarding her emotions. 

As you can see, the basic structure of AB Indecision is when 
two or more "choices" — both equally agreeable to the man — 



134 



Bait and Switch 



are disqualified by the woman on emotional rather than logical 
grounds. Once a man learns that statements such as "Let's go 
out to eat." really mean "I'm bored, entertain me!", then these 
kinds of situations can actually be quite enjoyable, because they 
provide opportunities to play. Once you have mastered this, 
when a woman says "Let's go out to eat!" you will hear "Let's 
play!" 



Bait and Switch 

The Bait and Switch probably costs more men more grief than 
any other technique in women's arsenals. Succinctly, the Bait 
and Switch is just what it sounds like: offer something of value, 
then switch the valuable thing to a worthless thing once the 
hook is set. Women are very cognizant about this tactic; it has 
even been written up in Cosmopolitan magazine as a sure-fire 
way to get a guy interested in a relationship. So how does it 
work? 

It's pretty simple. Did you ever know a guy that stated mourn- 
fully "My wife used to be so into Trucks/Camping/Beer Bong- 
ing before we got married. Now, she gives me a huge ration 
of shit whenever I want to do it, and I don't care if she comes 
along anymore." Bait and Switch, gentlemen. Bait and Switch. 
Wifey baited with some fun activity, set the hook (pussy), then 
removed it once she got what she wanted (marriage, or a com- 
mitted, long-term relationship). 

This works so well because so many guys have this fantasy of 
women as "dudes with tits." That is, they want they male- 
oriented companionship, but with a woman whom they can 
have sex with when they get horny, instead of jerking off. We 
suspect that this fantasy runs very strong in men lacking nor- 
mal socialization, and possibly among many otherwise-normal 
men as well. Natural ladies men know better than this, under- 
standing that women are best enjoyed for their unique, wom- 
anly charms, and not to provide emotional validation equiva- 



135 



Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



lent to male bonding.^ 

It is important to note that the Bait and Switch is also a female 
test to detect weaker males, or weaker-male behavior. We have 
observed an increase in sexual desire in many females when 
the male is not effected by the mental power of the Bait and 
Switch. Therefore it is very good business for a man to learn to 
deal properly with this female mechanism. 

Detecting the Bait and Switch 

How do you know when the Bait and Switch game is afoot? 
When a woman shows apparently-sincere interest in something 
you do for fun, something you do that occupies your time away 
from her. Are you a surfer and she has never surfed in her 
life, but now, she has a sudden, overwhelming passion to surf? 
Watch out, buddy, because this is exactly how a Bait and Switch 
is set up. If you must, take her out on a special trip once in 
a while, make sure to show her lots of affection, and bone her 
silly afterwards. But take her only once in a while. Interest- 
ingly, a recent issue of Surfer Magazine had an article on this 
very topic: How to take a surf trip with your girlfriend. Their 
advice: pretty much same as ours.'' 

Breaking the game is easy once you can recognize it: simply 
treat any excursion as a normal date and plan accordingly. Make 
sure that is just uncomfortable enough for her that she won't 
want to do it again, but that the discomfort is from her lack 
of experience, from being out of shape, or from anything at all 
other than some way to blame you. And no matter how shitty 

■•Joseph: In industrial Canada, female competition for good Providers is 
fierce. The men do a lot of physical labor but make very good money doing it. 
It is not a coincidence that a majority of young women here are extremely-avid 
hockey fans. 

^David Clare once dated a woman who had a wild, kinky side to her. He 
fell in love with her! Well, it turns out that part of her kink was the chase itself. 
Once she "caught him," the sex dried up, literally, and she started pressur- 
ing him about "the relationship." He figured out that, since the great sex was 
steadily diminishing as the level of commitment increased, he would promptly 
break up with her. He explained that he had already been through the Bait and 
Switch with his ex-wife. Her response: "That bitch! Your bitch ex-wife ruined 
you!" 



136 



Ambush 



it is, with crappy weather, filthy conditions, or whatever it is 
that bothers her, make sure that you absolutely revel in those 
conditions! You love being hot, cold, dirty, tired, thirsty, hun- 
gry or whatever, right? Have a great time! This will allow her 
to respect you, and to politely limit her future involvment. You 
can reinforce this by making sure to invite her out again once 
in a while, when the conditions are equally shitty. 

An even better way to break the game is simply smile and nod: 
"Sure baby, I would love to take you climbing," but never ac- 
tually do it. Or, drag it out and make her really, really work for 
the privilege. Once your inner game is locked on, you won't 
want the woman around for these activities anyway. It won't 
be validating to have her there; it will simply be a pain in the 
ass. 



Ambush 

A man works hard to provide for his family, maybe in a job he 
dislikes. The hardworking man then commutes home. Maybe 
the train is packed full of people, or the traffic is snarled. The 
hardworking man opens his door wanting nothing more than 
a few moments of peace and quiet. But he knows there is a top- 
level predator in his home — a female of the species homo sapi- 
ens — lurking in ambush, near the door. She has been "wait- 
ing all day" for the hardworking man's return. She is full of 
unspent emotion and lists of things for him to do. Her emo- 
tion must be dissipated immediately. The man must be put to 
work immediately. The hard working man's stress level rises 
another notch. He knows what is to transpire: As soon as his 
shoe crosses the threshold, she will launch herself at him with 
a litany of complaints and incessant chatter about meaningless 
aspects of her uneventful day. 

It happens every day. He feels powerless. 

This is unacceptable. A man's home should be his castle. A 
place of peace and refuge. But, what to do? 



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Jit Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



A woman's emotionality is compelling. A woman — and espe- 
cially a modern woman — often feels that she has the absolute 
right to express her emotions freely, regardless of the opinions 
or reactions of those around her. This is especially trvie with 
regards to her romantic partner. 

Especially with women with a high sex drive (HD), the ap- 
proach of "Please let me rest when I come home from work" is 
not likely to be too effective by itself. This very-understandable 
male demand will usually face resistance from the woman. A 
woman understands — subconsciously, in her deeper, biologi- 
cal level of instinct — that if she does not comply with his de- 
mand, he will be forced to either: 

1. Get angry with her. This will betaize him, though not as 
badly as can be expected under some alternatives. She 
will use his anger to to try to make him feel guilty about 
"treating her badly". In worst-case scenarios, she may 
use his reactions to try to demonstrate that he is mentally 
abusive or that he cannot control himself. 

2. Start to qualify to her about her demands. This move is 
totally betaizing. In this case, in order to achieve peace at 
home, he will have to pay a heavy price to her, such as do 
favours for her, and comply with her demands for atten- 
tion. In this scenario, men who often completely Alpha 
at work end up in a completely Beta position at home. 

3. Abandon his territory to go "hunting". This man will 
usually end up doing business all the time, or will spend 
a lot of time in the apartments of the other women he has 
hunted.^ 

4. Become a tyrant. As a man, you may very well feel that 
it is not fair or right for a man to not be able to relax in 
your own territory — your home — after you've done all 
you can for your family and your woman. Many men go 

^Franco: I remember a man whom I coached who had slept at his place of 
business for ten years! His wife had the habit of giving him constant emotional 
outbursts while he was driving his car, with every single change in direction. 
At home, this man could not move a thing without having to face drama. 



138 



Ambush 



through a difficult moral struggle on this point once they 
realize that being polite and considerate is not having any 
effect against the Ambush. 

It is important to understand that this female behavior seems to 
have deep biological roots based on primary survival instincts. 
For many years now, the dynamics of family therapy and coun- 
seling has made men feel guilty for supposedly not grasping 
the female need for communication. In fact it is true that a 
man should understand a female's need for communication, 
but that does not mean he should comply with manipulation 
or forfeit peace and quiet on his territory. Our policy has been 
to show understanding of the female need for communication, 
but on}}/ when the process of the communication does not in- 
dicate an attempt at manipulation or an ambush against our 
peace in the home. 

The male biological brain structure is such that relaxation and 
silence during the times between battles and hunting are vital 
needs. When a woman tries to keep a man from doing that, she 
is in effect manipulating him when he is at his weakest point. 

Some Practical Help: Focus on the Process 

Men suffering from the Ambush are in a difficult position. Any 
attempts to negotiate the issue of your need for tranquility in 
the home may encounter resistance from her. Democratic-style 
discussion usually does not work. Instead, tell her your need 
for silence and relaxation on your territory and establish simple 
guidelines rules within your household with regards to that. 
Verbal appreciation and physical escalation (if you have energy 
for that) may help reduce the drama, especially if you as a man 
are able to very rapidly dissipate her emotional tension. 

If such efforts prove fruitless, find for yourself a couple of hours 
of relaxation with your friends in bars or restaurants before you 
finally go home. Franco does this with good success, finding 
that once he has relaxed from the work day it is much easier 
to emtionally engage at home. Another great method for mini- 
mizing the impact of the Ambush — if you can afford it — is to 



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Joseph <> David ^ Franco ^ 



have more than one apartment or at least a private room that 
is totally separate from the rest of the home. Your studio or li- 
brary should become a place dedicated to relaxation and peace 
of mind. 

It is vitally important that you focus on the process of your ver- 
bal interactions with women, much more so than the content. 
If you are unaware of the process — which can happen when 
you get caught up in the specific words that a woman is saying 
— you can quickly become betaized. 



Jealousy 

New studies about jealousy seem to indicate that it is a strong, 
primitive instinct, which is meant to increase competition for 
sex between individuals. In other words, it is preserved in evo- 
lution because it has the positive purpose of increasing preg- 
nancies. It is similar to what is achieved by the sensations of 
thirst or hunger in that it is designed to preserve human life. 

The emotion of jealousy can therefore be viewed in a positive 
light, since it is meant to motivate people towards procreation. 
It is, in fact, crucial that you frame the emotion of jealousy as 
something natural and even positive. A man who is unable 
to put jealousy in proper context puts his emotional safety, his 
mental health and possibly even his assets at great risk. 

Jealousy is widely used by females — whether consciously or 
not — as a means to control her male love interest. This is con- 
nected with her drive to maximize the profit she can gain by 
having a man fall into the role of Provider with her. 

One especially common case you'll notice is that women will 
tend to create for you mental images of competition with other 
men. For example, a woman will often describe interactions 
with other men in vague ways, such that you start to really 
wonder whether she has any sexual involvement with these 
men, but you are unable to logically conclude it either way. 
She will usually do this in a subtle, even unconscious manner. 



140 



Rich Descriptions 



In this way, she is acting upon your strong instinctual drive to 
procreate. Women will tend to do this at all stages of a relation- 
ship. 

It should therefore obvious why — if you are not able to prop- 
erly handle your jealousy instinct — a woman you find attrac- 
tive will easily be able to manipulate you into doing what she 
wants, such as marry her or support her financially, whether or 
not doing so coincides with your own best interests. 

An important point to note here is that we are talking about 
mental images. These images do not necessarily mean that wo- 
men will cheat on you. They simply indicate that you have 
been actually hypnotized by the woman's use of language, such 
that you find yourself in an altered mental state. You may very 
well start to feel that in order to be able to procreate with the 
particular woman you will have to please her, so as to avoid 
her being impregnated by other men. 

Realize that it is the instinct of preserving life in you which can 
put you at the mercy of the woman! The positive drive towards 
the preservation of life is acting upon you. Allow yourself to 
feel the emotion of jealousy, but do not let the hypnotic effect 
of the woman's words affect your better judgement! 



Rich Descriptions 

Words can have a hypnotic effect on the brain. This has been 
demonstrated by science by measuring the effects of auditory 
stimulation on brain activity, magnetic resonance and positron 
emission tomography. 

Our experience in dealing with women matches that of many 
professional hypnotists: the richer you describe an experience 
to another person, the more you will have that person actually 
live and feel that experience for themselves. 

A Rich Description is a distinctive trait of femininity. Men, — 
especially very masculine men — communicate primarily by 
exchanging data. They tend not to use redundant. Rich De- 



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A Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



scriptions. Men can enjoy spending hours exchanging facts but 
they will not usually enjoy richly describing them. 

For example, a man who wants to talk about his experience at 
the gym with another male friend will typically express it like 
this: 

"I was at the gym. I had a hell of a workout tonight!" 

On the other hand, a woman talking about her experience at 
the gym might describe it more like this: 

"Yesterday I was feeling so tired and depressed. Then I no- 
ticed my gym bag, the red one my aunt Mary gave me as a gift, 
and I started to remember how good I used to feel when 1 was 
exercising regularly. I started to feel like I wanted to get mov- 
ing again! I used to be so much happier before when 1 was in 
shape! It was such a miserable, cold winter day yesterday, so I 
felt like I had better go to the gym." 

The purpose of the female's use of Rich Descriptions in nature 
is linked to her need to manipulate her environment for the 
purpose of survival. By using Rich Descriptions in her conver- 
sations with the members of her social circle — and especially 
the males — she achieves the hypnotic effect of having those 
close to her desire to support her in her aims. 

It is very important for you to recognize the hypnotic effect that 
female Rich Descriptions can have on the brain and to be ready 
to manage these effects within yourself. Again, your mental 
health and your assets can be put at risk if you do not! 



Pouting and Whining 

Pouting and whining are somewhat softer forms of manipu- 
lation seen in mammals. For example, dogs and cats clearly 
whine, and a pretty good case could be made that they engage 
in pouting as well. Both pouting and whining indicate a fim- 
damental secession of authority, but they also represent of test 
of resolve. Whining comes from a place of weakness. Capitu- 
lating to whining comes from a weaker place yet. So don't do 



142 



Practical Advice: Taking Action 



it. 

Both pouting and whining are easily dealt with by teasing, as 
well as appreciation. It is important that you do both at the 
same time. On the one hand, the woman has turned over her 
personal authority to you, which should be appreciated. On 
the other hand, the point under consideration is probably in 
nobody's best interest, no matter how good it might feel to her 
to express her point in this way. 

If the rest of the relationship is in order, then handling pouting 
can be as easy as this: 

Her: "Whine whine pout pout" (The actual words are irrelevant, 
because lier lower lip is stuck out) 

You: "You are sooo cute when you pout!" (pinch her lower lip) 



Practical Advice: Taking Action 

One of the best ways a man can take action when being manip- 
ulated is using his birthright, which is his natural male logic. 
Women aren't stupid; they can use logic as well as men. David 
Clare knows many female engineers and scientists, most of 
whom are quite good at logic. However, they usually don't 
choose to use logic in relationships, because emotions work so 
much better for getting them what they want. When they use 
logic, they run a risk of losing the battle with their male coun- 
terpart. 

In any case, if the man's logic is good, and doesn't hurt the 
woman's material interest (it may confound her desire, greed, 
or whatever), then a normal, healthy woman will recognize it 
for what it is and, we believe, respect the man for using it. This 
will be the case even if she gets upset in the process, so long as 
the man retains his composure. 

So many times we have heard women say, "I want a man who 
is smarter than I am." We believe this — m part — means his 
ability to use logic in the sense we describe. 

The key to using male logic requires two preconditions, both 



143 



Jit Joseph 0 David "7 Franco 4 



equally important: 

1. Only apply logic to situations with a clear train of casu- 
ality, such as physical situations where B is clearly the 
result of A. For example, not paying bills results in calls 
from the collection agency, no matter what her "feelings" 
might be about bills, collection agencies, or whatever. 

2. You as a man must be completely unengaged in the out- 
come. You must not care at all what she thinks or says 
about the situation. If she displays an emotional outburst 
to deflect her feelings or absolve herself from blame, you 
must absolutely retain your composure. In these situa- 
tions, her opinion simply does not matter. Let her dissi- 
pate her emotion first, then you can engage her rationally. 

This may sound unduly harsh. But there is big difference be- 
tween really caring for a woman, and appeasing unacceptable 
behavior. The result is that you as a man will be able to provide 
necessary emotional strength to her, as she deals with emotions 
ranging from anger and embarrassment, to shame and disap- 
pointment. 



144 



14 Female Arousal and Sex Drive 



Love to think that you couldn't love another 
I can't help it... you're my kind of man 
— Bathwater, by No Doubt 

E purposely put this chapter after the other chap- 
ters on screening, for several important reasons. 
First of all, sex is absolutely the core of any ro- 
mantic relationship. In fact, we would go so far as 
to say that without a good sex life, you simply no longer have a 
romantic relationship, or at best, it is in a comatose state. Lack 
of sex that is satisfying to both partners in a relationship, how- 
ever, is actually a symptom of deeper problems within a rela- 
tionship. Later in the book, we will discuss important aspects 
of the male personality, which you can work on and improve, 
and in some cases even salvage a relationship that has gone 
sour. But it is certainly better to understand the type of woman 
you are dealing with before you become romantically involved. 



Biological Differences in Sexual Drive 

Before going any further, we 
emphasize that the material in 
this chapter generalizes and ste- 
reotypes women into what we 
consider extremely useful end - 
member categories on a spec- 
trum of sexual drive ranging 
SEX DRIVE from Low-drive (LD) to High- 

drive (HD). In reality, very few 
women occupy the end member positions in this spectrum. We 
assume that sexual drive is normally distributed (as shown in 
the figure) and that most women have tendencies towards LD 
or HD. We have also observed that the same woman may be 
either LD or HD depending on circumstances such as environ- 
ment, her age or time of life, potential partners, relationship 
status, and stage of relationship. Some women will always be 





Jit Joseph <> David 9 Franco ^ 



well to one side or the other in this spectrum. Calibrate to the 
woman in front of you. 

Just as the woman's sex drive is variable, so too the man's. 
The vast majority of men and women are more "medium sex 
drive," differing more in a relative sense than an absolute sense. 
In a relationship, more than likely the importance of HD/LD 
depends on where the man and woman are with respect to 
each other. For example, both the woman and the man may 
have lower than normal sex drives compared to the popula- 
tion at large. But one or the other will invariably have a sex 
drive higher than the other, and that's where the jviice is. As 
you read through this chapter, keep this point in mind, under- 
standing that most likely, whether the woman is HD or LD has 
as much to do with your sex drive as with hers. And as much 
to do with your ability to arouse her romantic urges. 

When evaluating female sexuality, men often forget that the 
woman is the one to get pregnant and carry children. Men are 
prone to project their own sexuality on the woman, feeling that 
a woman would feel and behave like a man in that regard. In so 
doing, men tend to forget that the main biological purpose of 
human sexuality — unromantic as it may seem — is pregnancy. 

Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 

In this book, we divide women into two rough groups: 

1. HD women. Women with a relatively stronger sexual 
drive. 

2. LD women. Women with a relatively weaker sexual drive. 

HD women are evolutionarily and biologically programmed 
to get pregnant more easily. They are programmed to make 
more children but at the same time to be inferior mothers. LD 
women are programmed to be better mothers and yet less pro- 
lific in the matter of pregnancy. Our theory has absolutely no 
moral implications; it is simply a strategy of Nature to spread 
its investments into different directions, as it usually does in 
the evolutionary area. 



146 



Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 



Women who are HD tend to get aroused sexually by verbal 
stimulation and male dominance very fast, and at a very high 
degree. On the other hand, women who are LD need a much 
longer time and greater verbal stimulation to achieve the same 
degree of horniness. This is purposeful from Nature. The faster 
way in which HD women get aroused by verbal stimulation — 
and their tendency towards dramatic emotions — means that 
those women are more prone to get pregnant. On the other 
hand, LD women may need a huge amount of verbal stimu- 
lation and a much longer time to achieve the same degree of 
horniness. This makes LD women less dramatic and more ded- 
icated to childcare. 

One could say that HD women are more deliverers and LD wo- 
men are more care givers. This is one of the biological reasons 
that the M/w Complex (Chapter 16) was invented in the first 
place: a male projection of the fear of HD women, and of the 
illusory sense of safety given to them by LD women. 

Loiv Drive Women 

Many LD women are very much under the influence of what 
we like to call the frame of "the knight coming from afar." 
They are in a continuous state of preparing their hearts for their 
prince, whom they imagine as traveling great and difficult dis- 
tances to come conquer the group and lead everyone within 
it. The worst mistake you can do with this kind of woman is 
to put yourself in the role a man who she has figured out com- 
pletely. Instead, if you frame yourself as someone rare, exclusive 
and difficult to reach, and you maintain that frame at all times, 
then you can slowly influence a woman into more of an HD 
frame. How you do that in practical terms? 

Our method is simply that you reduce the time you are with 
her. Think: short, quality time. Give vague answers to her 
questions. Keep longer breaks between interactions with her. 
When she asks about what you do, you can use these James 
Bond-style cocky but funny frames. For example: 

• 'T was on a mission" 



147 



♦ Joseph <C> David Franco 4 



• "I had someone to take care of.." 

• "I was flying to X" 

• "I was flying from Y" 

Note that this James Bond frame is not simply saying these words. 
The words themselves convey only 7% percent of the mean- 
ing. Your tonality and body language must convey those James 
Bond attributes: Excitement! Adventure! Danger! Sex! 

In other words, you want to keep yourself in a frame where 
you are seen by the LD woman as: 

• Mysterious. 

• Always coming and going to and from places where she 
cannot reach you. 

• Ambiguous and vague. 

• Generally unavailable. 

Unlike Franco and Joseph, David has a penchant for relatively 
LD women. David creates these kinds of interactions naturally 
by keeping a certain amount of his activity relatively close to 
the vest. Prematurely revealing intent before action may result 
in two situations conducive to reducing attraction. The first 
is that demonstration counts, talking doesn't. The second is 
that most men will collapse in the face of female disapproval 
of their behavior. Keep your failures to yourself until the pain 
has passed. Keeping the mystery alive allows you to surprise 
her with success, instead of disappointing her with big talk and 
subsequent failure. 

Contrary to this frame would be deeply sharing all of your 
ongoing activity, allowing her to feel both success and failure. 
There is great power here, under the condition that you are not 
supplicating for her approval of your activities, and that fail- 
ure results only a powerful, shared emotional experience, not 
a complete masculine frame collapse. In other words, feel free 



148 



Low Drive vs. High Drive Women 



to share anger, disappointment and pain, but take full respon- 
sibility, without ever whining. Given most women's adroit ca- 
pability for offloading responsibility, she will surely find a way 
to shift the blame from you to someone or something else. Let 
her. 

Remember, once you are in a relationship with a woman, she 
wants to be attracted to you. Let these qualities emerge from 
within you; do not use them as manipulative techniques to 
compensate for emotional weakness, neediness or approval- 
seeking. If you do, your outward appearance will eventually 
collapse into your weak, hollow core, and your soon-to-be ex- 
girlfriend will complain that you weren't genuine. 

High Drive Women 

Two critical aspects of the HD woman must be understood. 
The first is that HD women crave being seduced and feeling 
masculine power just as much as LD women. The second is 
that drive and seducibility are not necessarily correlated. Some 
woman are easier to seduce than others, irrespective of their 
sex drive. 

Due to the Madonna/whore complex, the The HD woman's 
strong sexual drive has long been a taboo in our culture. The 
figure of the HD woman has always been identified with the 
figure of the whore. This kind of woman has inspired fear in 
men; fear of them not being able to satisfy her sexually and 
emotionally, and fear of the extreme appeal she exerts on mas- 
culine men. 

The psychological profile of this woman is usually totally dif- 
ferent from the LD woman. She is more prone to exhibit drama 
during conflict situations and throughout her relationships with 
men. What we refer to as "drama" is actually a means by 
which the cortical part of the brain tries to keep control over 
limbic system, during episodes of powerful hormonal effects 
of arousal. 

In other words, an HD woman will also face strong internal, 
moral pressure from her superego — or strong outer pressure 
from society — in regards to controlling her arousal. When 



149 



4b Joseph <0> David ^ Franco ^ 



this pressure becomes strong enough, the woman will exhibit 
drama. Psychologists used to refer to this phenomenon as hys- 
teria. The modern term for hysteria is dissociative behavior. 

It's very interesting to note how nature is working here: weaker 
men will tend to react to the HD woman's drama by arguing or 
withdrawing out of fear or fatigue. However, the stronger the 
man is, the less he will fear the woman's dissociative behavior 
and the more likely he is to successfully deliver to her some 
"medicine" that is likely to calm her down: great sex! 

In our opinion, the natural purpose of the HD woman's disso- 
ciative behavior or drama is to short-cirtuit male logic so that 
the male becomes sexually aggressive and more prone to cause 
a pregnancy. In fact, female drama is almost unbearable to the 
male brain and a man will tend do almost anything to get a 
release from that. 

From our point of view, it follows that many home violence 
cases can be traced back to encounters between an LSE HD 
woman and an aggressive, LSE Alpha male who is unable to 
control his aggressive tendencies when faced with feminine 
drama. 

Calibrating Sex Drive 

Here is an interesting observation we've made through experi- 
ence: you can calibrate the woman's drive to your own drive 
over time. If you want things hotter, run more attraction ma- 
terial when you see her. And then, make sure you can sex her 
good everytime you see her, and do not take the sex for granted. 

On the other hand. If you want to lower her sex drive, involve 
her more often in logical conversation, which will put her cere- 
bral cortex to work, thereby overridmg the emotional brain's 
impetus towards sexual engagement. This is guaranteed to 
work for all women, except the few who are actually aroused 
by intellectual conversation!^ 

If you are an HD male, it makes sense that if you decide to have 

^Women's extraordinarily wide range of sexuai blueprints again demon- 
strates nature's stratgey of widening tlie genetic pool. 



150 



Self-Esteem Considerations 



a particular woman as your primary (or only) sexual partner, 
that she should also be HD. 

If you are more of an LD man, you will also want to choose 
a partner that is compatible with you in that regard, unless 
you are completely comfortable with the idea of her getting 
her needs met elsewhere on occasion. This doesn't necessar- 
ily mean structuring a sexually open relationship, but it does 
mean taking the lead to help her effectively channel her emo- 
tional energy for your mutual benefit. 

By learning how to calibrate to each woman, you will have a 
better idea wether you and your partner are sexually compat- 
ible. Before we get into details on how to screen a woman for 
either HD or LD, we need to understand some key differences 
between the way men and women think and function sexually. 

Self-Esteem Considerations 

When we consider sex drive alongside the factor of self esteem, 
we derive additional, different categories of women. Bear in 
mind that each of these qualities exist on a continuum, and 
what we are presenting here are archetypes. Calibrate accord- 
ingly to the woman or woman in your life. 

The HSE/HD Woman 

This type of woman is the dream of every man but not many 
men can actually deal with her. She has a very strong sexual 
drive backed up by a very good self-esteem. She is like a Fer- 
rari with a strong motor and an experienced driver driving it. 
This type of woman will test her man — from the very begin- 
ning — for leadership qualities. She will be able to remain a 
good companion to him for as long as is the alpha in the rela- 
tionship. One of the most distinctive traits of the HSE woman 
is the relative absence of self-destructiveness from her person- 
ality. However, her high level of energy means that she is not 
suitable for every man. She can be the ideal woman for men 



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X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



who are exceptionally strong in both mind and body. 

The HSE/LD Woman 

This is also a very good woman, but certainly not suited as the 
sole woman for a man who is very HD. This woman's sexuality 
is meant by nature to be sublimated as much as possible, in or- 
der to ensure the care of herself and her children. This is a good 
woman for a man who is very much into his business and who 
does not have too much time for romance. But the man should 
hope that she never meets a man who is able to act on her emo- 
tionality. In fact, this type of woman is also programmed to 
change herself into HD when she meets a man who presents a 
real mental challenge to her. 

The HSE/LD woman could, under certain circumstances, feel 
very strong sexual attraction for a man who is strictly not in 
the position of her Provider but in the position of her Lover 
Very often, this would be a man who does not live with her on 
her home territory. A man should always remember that the 
biological purpose of this woman is not so much the man, but 
rather the child. 

The LSE/HD Woman 

You do not want to be this woman's husband or boyfriend, but 
you can be her Lover so long as you do not share keys to a 
home with her. This is the kind of woman who often has been 
verbally or physically abused by several former boyfriends or 
husbands. With a mere superficial observation she may seem 
to be the victim, but what happens in real life is that she will 
tend to test men for the most primitive and low-level Alpha 
qualities: skills for violence and abuse. Her extremely strong 
sexual drive is paired with a total lack of control over her emo- 
tionality and actions. This is obviously a dangerous woman. 
Among this group you can find a lot of man-haters, but more 
often in this group there are a lot of psychologically-disturbed 
women with a lot of self-destructive tendencies. Here, a strong 
sexual drive is linked to a feeling of being worthless as human 
being. 



152 



Verbal Stimulation 



The LSE/LD Woman 

You should not be her husband or boyfriend and neither should 
you be her Lover. This woman is usually continuously' de- 
pressed. In this group you will find a lot of man-haters and 
women with Borderline Personality Disorder. What can be ex- 
tremely dangerous about this type of woman is that she may 
seem to be, at first glance, a totally normal, shy woman who 
is kind and affectionate. In reality, behind that facade there is 
a woman who is used to owning men through the use of suf- 
fering and sexual deprivation. Slowly but surely, she brings 
any man who is with her into total submission, to his material 
detriment. 



Verbal Stimulation 

Many women are highly dependent on verbal stimulation to 
be able to enjoy their sexuality fully. As experienced players 
we have known for years that one of the main roads to having 
a woman sexually aroused is through the use of rich, verbal 
descriptions. Brizendine [7] states: 

"Connecting through talking activates the pleasure 
centers in a girl's brain. We're not talking about a 
small amount of pleasure. This is huge. It's a major 
dopamine and oxytocin rush, which is the biggest, 
fattest neurological reward you can get outside of 
an orgasm." 

In our experience, female arousal, and the pleasure connected 
with talking that Brizendine writes about, are actually not sep- 
arated from each other. Bluntly put, effectively delivering rich, 
descriptive speech makes women horny. 

But there is much more! A woman is dependent upon the ac- 
tions and the attitude of her man with respect to how aroused 
she is able to become. That is, a woman is in some ways just 
like as it is written in the Bible; a part of the man's body. This 



153 



fit Joseph ■C> David ^ Franco ^ 



is because in order for her to be sexually receptive, she first has 
to find within a man a combination of several attributes. Based 
on our experience, a combination of male sexual dominance, 
and the skill of verbally stimulating emotions within a woman, 
will cause a very large number of women to become irresistibly 
sexually attracted. 

Nature, however, has been cruel. It is not natural for most men 
to be so verbally descriptive. If a man is too verbally descrip- 
tive with a woman on an ongoing basis, this will eventually 
lead to the emasculation of this man, or the perception that he 
is a homosexual. In fact, such a man will tend to become more 
and more submissive as he agrees to verbally and emotionally 
open himself up to the woman. 

When a man becomes more and more effeminate by opening 
himself up emotionally to a woman, female attraction towards 
that man will invariably plummet. This is because the relation- 
ship is lacking the other important quality that a woman needs 
for sexual arousal: male dominance. ^ 

When a man allows himself to open up to a woman for too long 
of a time, he is in effect being slowly transformed into a wo- 
man, from her point of view. At the very beginning, opening 
up in this way will create a huge increase in her sexual attrac- 
tion, but eventually, if the man gives up his masculine domi- 
nance in the process, it will cause her to her lose her attraction 
for him. 

Incipient Bisexmlity 

There is evidence that a man is able to arouse a woman via 
verbal stimulation due an incipient bisexuality in the female 
arousal process. Apparently, women can be aroused in two 
distinct ways: 

1. Heterosexually, via male sexual dominance. This hap- 
pens when men do what is natural to them: act dominant. 

^Decker Cunov, founder of the Authentic Man Program, has developed a 
coaching program teaching men to become emotionally open, while remaining 
fully masculine. 



154 



Practical Advice 



i. 



2. Bisexually or homosexually, via verbal stimulation. This 
is inherently a lesbian-type of arousal because the use of 
verbal, rich descriptions when arousing a female is not 
natural most to men. 

According to Chivers et al. [10], female arousal is stimulated by 
both men and women: 

"In contrast to men, both heterosexual and lesbian 
women tend to become sexually aroused by both 
male and female erotica, and, thus, have a bisex- 
ual arousal pattern.... These findings likely repre- 
sent a fundamental difference between men's and 
women's brains and have important implications 
for understanding how sexual orientation develop- 
ment differs between men and women." — J. Michael 
Bailey, professor and chair of psychology at North- 
western and senior researcher of the study "A Sex 
Difference in the Specificity of Sexual Arousal." 



Practical Advice 

It is vitally important to determine whether a woman is LD 
or HD before deciding whether to enter into a long-term rela- 
tionship with her, because her behavior and the dynamics of 
a relationship with her will totally different, depending on her 
sex drive. We already gave you some guidelines by which to 
screen for a woman's sex drive in Chapters 9 and 10. 

Now, based on your deeper understanding of how and why 
women become sexually aroused, you have the tools to look 
deeper. When the topics of sex and sexuality come up in your 
conversation with a woman — and you have properly screened 
her as either HSE or LSE — then her reactions to such topics can 
also help to identify the level of her sex drive. 

One huge mistake that men typically make in this area is not 
recognizing the nature of a woman's tests. If a man is unsure of 
himself and his sexuality, a woman may in fact feign disinterest 



155 



4t Joseph 0 David 9 Franco 4 



in sex, or act as if she is tired or busy, in order to test the man's 
self-confidence and also to test the man's sex drive. The worst 
thing you can do is act needy; that is, act as if sex is some sort of 
a gift that the woman bestows upon you in exchange for acting 
like a so-called "nice guy," as described in Glover's No More Mr. 
Nice Guy [11]). Needy behavior is often fatal to relationships. 

It must also be noted that if you understand all of the con- 
cepts of this book and apply them rigorously, your partner's 
sex drive should be higher during the time she is in a relation- 
ship with you than it would be otherwise. When you are sex- 
ually attracted to someone it is natural that your desire for sex 
would increase, either somewhat or a lot. 

Instead of viewing sex as a woman's gift to you, be a leader: 
someone who bestows sexual pleasure upon the woman and 
takes it for himself. If you know within yourself that you can 
bring a particular woman to orgasm, and you have identified 
the nature of her testing (HSE or LSE), then you can easily com- 
pare the level of her sex drive to yours. 

Develop Masculine Sexual Leadership 

One of the keys to great sexuality in a man is being able to mas- 
ter two seemingly-contradictory states of mind within yourself. 
For one, you need to be fully conscious of the signals the wo- 
man's body and mind are giving off, in order to calibrate your 
movements and pace. On the other hand, acting like a sub- 
servient wussy, who is only concerned with the woman's plea- 
sure and ignorant of his own body, is a sexual tumoff to most 
women. Therefore, what you need in the bedroom, as any- 
where else in life, are the qualities of a leader. A leader in this 
context is someone who is aware of his own body and his own 
pleasure — and he will take what he wants when he wants it — 
but at the same time he is sensitive to the needs of his partner, 
who also has a need to be pleased. 

Once you have the experience and understanding to really, re- 
ally please any woman both mentally and sexually, it will be 
much easier to gauge how much of a sex drive any particular 
woman has. You'll be able to quickly ascertain how often a spe- 



156 



Practical Advice 



cific woman wants to come back for more in relation to how 
often you want sex. Even better, you will be able to quickly 
screen for a woman with whom you are most sexually compat- 
ible with before committing to a long-term relationship. 



157 



15 Last Minute Resistance 

Stop right there! 

I gotta know right now 

Before we go any further 

Do you love me? 

Will you Jove me forever? 

Do you need me? 

— Paradise by the Dashboard Light, by Meatloaf 



AVE you ever been with a woman and having a great 
time as things progressed to physical play? Maybe 
things got started with a dance to a favorite song, 
and then, slowly but surely, your bodies became 
closer and closer as your arousal increased. You could feel her 
arousal increasing too, as her kisses became more passionate 
and she began to pull your body closer to hers. At some point, 
one of you made a decision to get yourselves into more private 
surroundings, and the kisses and the touching continued to es- 
calate. You and your woman were connecting on every level, 
and you became certain within yourself that the connection the 
two of you were experiencing could not be more perfect. And 
then, suddenly, she pulled back and said, "Stop!" 

If you are like most men, at one time or another you have ex- 
perienced something similar to the scenario we just described. 
And, like most men, you were probably left scratching your 
head wondering "what went wrong?." Actually, nothing went 
wrong, the woman is responding appropriately. This pheno- 
menon is known as Last-Minute Resistance (LMR) and virtu- 
ally every man has experienced it. LMR can be defined as fe- 
male resistance to sexual intercourse, after the female has al- 
ready agreed to spend time in an isolated venue with a man. 

Intelligent men who have agonized over this phenomenon have 
come up with technology that allows one to effectively deal 
with LMR, while at the same time allowing the woman to main- 
tain her self-respect. Later in the chapter, we will provide you 
with the specific tactics that every man would love to have with 
respect to LMR. But first, let's make a detailed examination of 
the evolutionary underpinnings of LMR. 




♦ Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



LMR has been described by women as a horrible, fearful emo- 
tion that envelopes them at a particular threshold. The thresh- 
old varies among women. One woman may draw the line at 
removing her jeans, another at removing her panties. The same 
woman may have a different threshold depending on the man, 
or the environment of the encounter, or both. A few women 
have very little LMR. 

One of the reasons that LMR can be so frustrating for the man 
involved is that this reaction often occurs right at the point of 
no return of the sexual encounter; the point where a woman 
realizes that if she goes one step further, she is going to end up 
having sex with the man she is with. To put it simply, this fear 
comes down to a fundamental question that the woman feels 
iiiside: "should I — or should I not — have sex with this man 
(yet)?" Every single woman on the planet will feel this emotion 
at one time or another in her life, and to varying degrees. 

LMR is difficult for men to understand, because men do not ex- 
perience this in the same way. Men do have an corresponding 
fear, one that is experienced at the very begimiing of the sexual 
encounter, and that is the fear of the approach. Since women 
do not normally approach men, they often find it difhcult to 
understand this male fear, in the same way men find it hard to 
understand LMR. 

LMR is a mechanism that is hardwired into the biology of vir- 
tually every woman on the planet, no matter what her level 
of sexual experience or her cultural background. In biological 
terms, LMR serves two purposes in benefit of the woman. 



Biological and Sociological Purposes of LMR 

If a woman becomes impregnated by a man and the man does 
not stick around to protect her and her child, this can be a real 
danger for the woman. This is a basic, instinctual fear inside 
almost every woman alive. The fear persists in spite of the fact 
that today's society allows women the freedom to choose one 
man for pregnancy, another man to support her, and other men 



160 



Biological and Sociological Purposes of LMR 



for fun on the side. Today, health care for most women is far su- 
perior to the days when pregnancy meant death for 50 per cent 
or more of childbearing women. In those days, being aban- 
doned by her mate could mean ostracism, poverty and even 
death for a woman. Today, the state will give a woman full 
custody of her children, order that child support be paid, and 
remove most of the harsh consequences of pregnancy, but these 
are recent societal developments which do not alter a woman's 
biological makeup. 

LMR is also an instinctual reaction from females induced when 
she finds herself in a state of isolation. We believe this reaction 
fulfills two roles: it is designed to maximize her evolutionary 
value, and to preserve her physical safety. In our culture, a wo- 
man's being isolated with a male has a sexual meaning. A lot of 
cultural norms and institutions have been put in place with the 
sole purpose of prohibiting females from being in a state of iso- 
lation with a man to whom she is not married. Physical safety 
considerations come from both the biological risk of childbirth, 
which is dangerous for women, and getting caught in a "com- 
promising" situation has far more lethal ramifications on the 
African savannah where humans first evolved. 

Usually, a man who is directing his efforts towards having sex 
with a woman will attempt to get the woman into a state of 
isolation in order to achieve his goal. Men in particular hold 
the viewpoint that if a female agrees to isolation with a male, 
she is desiring to have intercourse with him. However, that is 
not necessarily the case. 

Basically, when a female has agreed to be m an isolated venue 
with a man, she has decided (at least subconsciously) that the 
male in question is superior in terms of genetic fitness, in com- 
parison to all the other males in her proximity. At a minimum, 
she would like for others observing the interaction to believe 
that she feels this way about the man. Since LMR means frus- 
tration for the man and puts him in a position of wanting some- 
thing from the female, exhibiting LMR gives her some power 
over him. In this way, she can maximize her potential control 
over him. 



161 



Joseph 0 David 9 Franco A 



It is therefore important to detect the underlying meaning of the 
LMR being displayed. 



Two types of LMR 

If a woman has LMR out of an inability to be sexually recep- 
tive to a man, or because of difficulties in accepting any man as 
sexual human being, then what we have is LSE LMR, which is 
a pathological form of LMR. 

If a woman has LMR for a biological and evolutionary need 
to test her male's psychological strength and control over his 
instincts — in other words, to test for his lack of neediness — 
then we have HSE LMR. 

HSE LMR is a trademark of a female who is a very strong in- 
dividual in terms of her rational control over her biological in- 
stincts. Such a woman wants to be sure to choose only strong 
males as her sexual partner. A "strong male" in this context is 
one who does not need her, either sexually or psychologically 
These are of course general descriptions; most women will have 
a mixture of both HSE and LSE. When you properly screen a 
woman for her self esteem, then you will be able to avoid the 
pain and frustration that comes from dealing with a woman 
with LSE LMR. You can rest assured that a woman who would 
exhibit LSE LMR with you at the beginning of your relation- 
ship will consistently do so, as long as your relationship with 
her lasts. She will do so because has indicated from the out- 
set that this type of behavior is either acceptable or tolerable to 
him. 



Dealing with LMR 

It should now be obvious to you, the reader, that you will want 
to avoid women who exhibit LSE LMR. A relationship with a 
woman like that will constantly put you in the position of a 



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Preempting LMR 



I 

i 



man who is made to feel like his natural male desires are some- 
how wrong or immoral, and at a minimum, a burden to the 
woman he is with. In reality, for a sexual relationship to func- 
tion in a healthy way, you should view sex as your gift to her. 
The gift a woman gives you is her love, not her sex. 

That being said, there remains the issue of legitimate, HSE LMR, 
where a woman is merely testing you for strength because of 
her own high self-esteem. As we mentioned in the last para- 
graph, the way to pass that test is to demonstrate that you do 
not need her, either sexually or psychologically. Demonstrating 
this positions you as a man of strength. 

Let's say for example that you are about to reach the point of no 
return, and your woman abruptly says "we should stop." The 
correct procedure here is not to get upset or angry, or to sulk 
or complain. Rather, you will want to demonstrate that you 
understand this phenomenon, which implies that you've seen 
it before, and that you are not at all troubled by it. Remember, 
sex is a gift from you to her. If you decide that you no longer 
feel like cuddling with her, then you can get up and make a 
sandwich, go for a walk, or check your email. Remember, it is 
absohitely vital that the woman not feel that she has been able to 
upset you by this course of events. 



Preempting LMR 

If you are dealing with a sexually healthy, HSE woman, re- 
member that her LMR reaction is a test for her to judge your 
strength and your dependence on her. Before mating, a wo- 
man needs to feel like she is with a man who is strong and able 
to take care of her and her child in a case of pregnancy. If a 
man demonstrates that he is dependent on her for either sex 
or psychological support, she instinctively knows that he is not 
the man with the best genes for her. And the best way to judge 
a man's strength is to observe him under pressure. These tests 
are merely part of the female biological instinct. 

Women also have an instinctual fear of being abandoned by a 



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A Joseph 0 David Z> Franco 4 



man who, while he may be very attractive to her in terms of 
his strength, may not be willing to stick around long enough to 
ensure the safety of her and her child. 

When couples fall in love, there is a chemical process that oc- 
curs the brain known as pair bonding. The biological purpose 
of pair bonding is to ensure that a couple stays together long 
enough in order to ensure the survival of both the mother and 
the child. 

One way to preempt the naturally occurring LMR in a healthy, 
HSE woman is to encourage pair bonding throughout the court- 
ship process. Assure her with words such as: "I feel that you 
and I have a really special connection," or "Even though we 
are here amongst all of our friends and loved ones, my mind 
is on you all the time." These words are effective, with the fol- 
lowing caveats. Such statements should never be made in an 
approval-seeking way, and should only be done in the context 
of building comfort with a woman who is obviously already 
attracted to you. And it should go without sai/ing timt that if you 
do not feel pair bonded with her, don't manipulate her emotions by 
telling her you do. 



The Rapo Game 

Every once in a while, a woman will come along and give you 
all the right signals, all the way up until it's time to lift her skirt. 
Then, she not only balks at your advances, but becomes indig- 
nant about the entire notion of sexual intimacy. In other words, 
she tricks you. The best description of this phenomenon is Eric 
Berne's "Rapo Game" [12]. If you meet a woman like this, your 
absolute best bet is to project both strength and absolute dis- 
interest. Showing any weakness, such as when apologizing 
or supplicating may induce a further attack, with possible ad- 
verse legal consequences. Disinterest means exactly that: you 
never want to make an overture of any sort towards this type of 
a woman. And best to never be isolated with her either. 

For whatever reason, you may be required to interact with such 



164 



The Rapo Game 



a woman in a social context, and you may be in a position 
where you must always respond to her in a pleasant and po- 
lite manner. Such women know that they hold all the cards, 
and that society will completely back them and any allegations 
they make. The game for these women is the obtaining male 
attention, but in an very sick way. If you can avoid giving such 
women your attention, you will go a long way towards defus- 
ing future problems for yourself. 



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16 The Madonna/whore Complex 

And the angel said unto her, 

"Fear not, Man/: for thou hast found favour with God." 
— Luke 1 :30, jnincs Bible 

THE Madonna / whore Complex is a widespread pheno- 
menon of modem life. We can properly call it a meme, 
or a mind virus, that affects the majority of people to- 
day, both men and women. The presence of this meme 
directly contributes to sexual frustration in both men and wo- 
men, with men relegated to consuming pornography, and wo- 
men consuming romance novels, both in astonishing quanti- 
ties. Both the pornography and romance novel industries are 
worth billions of dollars every single year. 

In spite of that, most men will not openly 
admit to being regular consumers of pornog- 
raphy Most women will blush and deny 
if asked about their propensity towards ro- 
mance novels. Sexual satisfaction for many, 
if not most people, comes via secret fan- 
tasy worlds. Men and women both spend 
lots of time fantasizing about other people 
having hot sex and living out exciting romantic lives. 

Nowadays, women even try to match male behavior by going 
to watch male strippers and being more proactive about sug- 
gesting sex . When that type of female assertiveness is not an 
expression of free will, it actually derives itself from the com- 
plex, too. 

We believe that one of the primary causes of this secret sexual 
life, and the inability of many people to create real, exciting and 
passionate relationships with other human beings that they can 
touch, feel and interact with, is the Madoima/whore Complex. 

One of the most deleterious effects of the Madonna/whore com- 
plex in our society is that there is a psychologiGal tendency to 
deny or ignore the existance of female sexual arousal. Because 
of this, many people do not realize that female sexual desire is 
a phenomenon that can be detected — not only by studying the 
female orgasm — but also by studying the female's: 




A Joseph ■C> David ^ Franco ^ 



1., Verbal Expression (female language and its relationship 
to the level of her arousal.) 

2. Behavior (the relationship between a female's manifested 
behavior and her level of arousal.) 

3. Facial Expression and Body Language (the non-verbal ex- 
pression of female arousal.) 

In the mind of the average guy, there is a total black hole in this 
area. Many men tend to view women as merely a "walking 
vagina." Some men have some knowledge about the female or- 
gasm and yet absolutely no knowledge of how a woman's sex- 
ual desire affects her behavior and her verbal and non-verbal 
expression. And too many men, sad to say, have absolutely no 
knowledge about the female orgasm and how it relates to her 
personality. 



What is the Madonna/whore Complex? 

There does not appear to be a single, universally-accepted defi- 
nition of the Madonna /whore Complex. According to one def- 
inition we like/, the Madonna/whore Complex refers to a phe- 
nomenon where men view their mates as sacred love objects, 
too pure to be sullied with the ugliness of sexual interaction, 
like a Madonna. 

Women who engage in raw and passionate sex, such as the wo- 
men of pornography, are considered "whores" or even worse. 
These women are secretly admired from afar, through the pages 
of a magazine or on the television screen, but they are never 
loved openly and directly. 

Freud wrote that the Complex arises in a man as a result of 
very close bonding with his mother, which the man never truly 
outgrows. The man seeks out a wife to replace the lost bond- 
ing with his mother, and because having sex with his mother 

'http:/ /en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna-whore_complex 



168 



Where does it come from? 



would be incest, he becomes subconsciously repelled from his 
wife in a sexual way. 

An alternative explanation comes from Primal Theory, which 
posits that the complex results from a cold and distant mother; 
a mother who has not met the male child's need for affectionate 
intimacy. Either way, such a man may seek out and marry a 
supposedly "pure" woman to love, treasure, and protect. But 
in his mind, this is not a woman with whom one would have 
dirty, nasty sex. 

The existence of the complex is not disputed. It is in fact very 
real, and most everyone has an intuitive understanding of what 
it means for them personally. 

A dissociation between "sex" and "love" is omnipresent in our 
culture, even in our English language. For example, a man un- 
der the effect of the Complex may define the sexual activity a 
woman has with other men as "sex", and the sexual activity she 
has with him as "love". A woman, on the other hand, can de- 
fine making love with her husband as "dirty sex", but when she 
falls in love in a romantic way with a lover in an extra-marital 
affair she may define it as "making love with my lover". 

This conflict is spread throughout our culture. Both men and 
women alike love the idea of raw, passionate sex. Yet, most 
men walk through life being afraid of women and treating them 
like Madonnas. The modern man often has a secret, vicari- 
ous relationship with the whores of pornography, and a timid, 
asexual relationship with all other women, including his inti- 
mate partners. 



Where does it come from? 

Men have learned since childhood that the Mother is a sacred 
creature, and our culture and the powerful messages it con- 
veys through television and other media teaches that women 
are to be viewed as either good or bad, depending largely on 
their ability to surpress their sexuality and display mother-like 



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X Joseph <> David ^ Franco <|k 



qualities of compassion and nurturing. 

The woman who has a strong sexuaUty and a free life, is, in the 
minds of many men, the Whore. The woman who gives birth to 
them, takes care of them and is close to them in their moments 
of despair is the Madonna. 

When a man suffers from the Complex and 
finds himself in a relationship, confusion 
often arises as to which category he should 
place his girlfriend or wife. Many men 
fantasize about a woman tiiat is wild in 
bed, but if they picture their wives like 
that then they start to feel jealousy. If their 
woman is active in bed and seems to enjoy 
sex "too much", the man may even start to 
feel a certain dislike towards her, feeling that she is too "slutty" 
to be a "good" wife. 

Many men suffer because they automatically place their girl- 
friends or wives into the Madorma category, but they still se- 
cretly long for sex with a whore. In this case the woman may 
suffer from a great deal of sexual frustration, and she may adopt 
her man's view that too much enjojmient of sex by a woman is 
shameful. In this case she will gradually lose her ability to be 
sexually iminhibited with her man and begin to avoid sex with 
him. The men will then often complain that their "good" girl- 
friend no longer wants to make love, and they will be aston- 
ished when she decides to seek out another sexual partner, one 
who understands her needs as a woman. 

But what, exactly, causes this Complex? Is it possible to enjoy a 
rich and deep relationship with a woman who is a freak in the 
sack? For the average guy, it's hard to know which category to 
place the woman in front of him. To be totally frank, most wo- 
men are aware of this conflict within men and will sometimes 
intentionally play this dual card of being either a Madonna or a 
whore. It is to the woman's advantage to have you invest men- 
tal energy into her in this way. Before we give you the solution 
to this dilemma, we'll provide some further detail about why 
women act the way that they do- 




170 



Do I have the Complex? 



Many of us were taught by our mothers especially that sex is 
something to be hidden, kept secret and often that it is some- 
thing shameful. We are especially fed the cultural message that 
it's ok for boys to brag in the locker room about sexual exploits, 
many of which never even happened or are exaggerated. A 
young woman who is the subject of such tales can often face 
the ridicule and scorn of her peers. In ancient times and still to- 
day in more traditional countries, a woman can be put to death 
on the suspicion of committing illicit sexual acts. Although at- 
titudes have relaxed quite a bit in the past few decades, women 
who are promiscuous are generally not viewed in the same fa- 
vorable light that promiscuous men are. 

To put it another way, both girls and boys are taught from a 
very young age that good girls are not free to enjoy sex in the 
same way that boys are. Girls who enjoy sex too much or who 
are too open and direct with their sexuality are called horrible 
names and punished within their social group, or worse, cast 
out completely. 



Do I have the Complex? 

If you possess a belief that good girls do not enjoy sex in the 
same way that "bad" girls do, you have the Complex. If you 
are afraid to be sexually agressive with your wife or girlfriend, 
and yet masturbate regularly to pornography, then you proba- 
bly also have this complex. If you find yourself repeating and 
laughing at common jokes such as "all men are pigs," or "he 
can't help it, he's a guy," then that would be another indication. 
If you regularly engage in wussy, tip-toe-on-eggshells type be- 
havior around women that you are sexually attracted to, then 
you definitely need to work on this issue. 

Understand that to truly be liberated from the Complex, your 
internal attitudes and views about women and female sexual- 
ity will need a radical makeover. 



171 



4 Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



How can a Man Avoid Being Harmed by this 
Phenomenon? 

What is really astonishing about the existence of the Complex is 
the fact that women enjoy sex as much and often more than men 
do. One only needs to take a look at a typical romance novel, 
or some female-authored erotica like Nancy Friday's My Secret 
Garden, to realize that women have wonderfully explicit sexual 
imaginations and desires. 

As a mature adult male, you should recognize that it is a beau- 
tiful and healthy thing for a woman to have a strong and wild 
sex drive. The sex drive of a woman says little about her char- 
acter or her personality, other than her appetite for sex. In 
Chapter 7 on Female Archetypes we dealt in depth with the 
personality types of women. As you should well understand 
by now, many good women have an extremely high sex drive, 
and there are also dangerous women to be avoided that do not 
possess a high sex drive. It is good for a man to appreciate the 
indisputable truth that sex for a woman is a beautiful, natural 
expression of her femininity and that it should be encouraged 
and praised, never condemned or feared. 



Love a Woman for Who She Is 

"Unconditional love" is when you love a woman for who and 
what she is and not for who you think she should be. When 
a man is forced by circumstances to give a woman conditional 
love he feels bad inside. Unfortunately, men do not talk about 
this sort of thing with each other. Men will rarely admit it, but 
when they really love a woman they do it with every breath, 
and with every cell of their body and mind. This is one of the 
lesser-known reasons that men are always trying to hide their 
feelings in favor of their mission. They persistently try to keep 
themselves "tough" and shut off from the emotional world. Men 
also have many other reasons for suppressing emotions, but 
love for a woman is the most sensitive reason. 



172 



Love a Woman for Who She Is 



When is a man forced to give conditional love to a woman? He 
becomes obliged to do so when he is put in a situation where 
he has to choose between his honor, his self respect, and his 
vital interests on the one hand — and giving his love to the 
woman on the other hand. The experience of being forced to 
stop giving love to his woman and to the members of his inti- 
mate group is the one of the most deleterious and dangerous 
experiences a man can face in his life. 

For a man, having to withdraw his love is especially painful, 
because to maintain his manhood he has to take the responsi- 
bility of repressing the love he naturally feels within himself, 
if circumstances oblige him to do so. A masculine man is in 
fact totally dominated by the instinct of being the protector of 
women and children. The experience of loving them and pro- 
tecting them is — by instinct — extremely important to him. 

As men of honor, we personally do not consider "real men" 
those who try to escape their natural role as the Alpha of their 
group. 

If one wanted to efficiently and completely destroy a man emo- 
tionally, then one would merely need to demonstrate to him in 
a clear way that he is useless as a protector to the members of 
his group; to other men, to his women and to his children. 

Men are tough: they have been trained throughout history to 
do what must be done. A man's mission is his honor. If a real 
man is put to choose between his honor, his mission and the 
woman he loves he will choose his honor and his mission. And 
his woman — if she is a real woman — will love him for that. 

If a real man is put to choose between his honor and love he 
will choose honor. He will suffer, but he will do so. If a man 
gives up his honor and his mission for his woman, then his 
woman may pretend to love him but her love for him will be 
already dead in her heart. 

As Franco often says, being a man can be a lonely business. 

Next, we'll show how your knowledge of the Complex actually 
puts you at a distinct advantage over the vast majority of men 
when it comes to dealing with women. 



173 



17 Dealing with the Madonna/whore 
Complex 

I'm just a bad girl, that's why we get along 

Won't make excuses for anything I'm doing wrong 

I'll pull the trigger in a flash 

Watch out honey, step back 

(Oooh) What's the use in playing it safe? 

(Oooh) Wouldn't you rather misbehave? 

— Dirty Laundry, by BitterSweet 

Y recognizing the true nature of women as passionate 
sexual creatures, and by eliminating from your mind 
the completely /fl/se choice that says a woman must ei- 
ther be a whore or a Madonna, you put yourself at a 
huge advantage over most men today. Because so few men re- 
ally understand the Madonna/whore complex, you will soon 
discover that there is a whole world of women that are frus- 
trated and lonely and looking for sexual adventures. 

In order for her to truly express herself sexually, a woman needs 
to feel that the man she chooses to be with will not expose her 
to ridicule. She must be confident that he will not embarrass 
her in public or in front of her friends and family. Even more 
fearful for a woman is the prospect of being considered trash 
by the very man that she has chosen to give herself to sexually. 

One of the crucial keys to having a lot of women feeling sexu- 
ally comfortable with you as a man is to eliminate any traces of 
the Complex in your mind and attitude. What are some of the 
ways that you can let a woman know that you've completely 
eliminated the Complex from your life? 

There are several things a man must do to relax the boundaries 
that society and he himself may be imposing on his sexual life. 
First, understand the traditional female response to the Com- 
plex, which is known as the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD). In the 
next chapter, we go into detail with regards to ASD and pro- 
vide you with the tools you need to overcome it. 

The next thing you need to do in relation to the Complex is to 
thoroughly examine your own belief system. Be honest with 




Jit Joseph 0 David Franco 4 



yourself and see whether you have any presence of the Com- 
plex within you. Then make a sincere and determined effort to 
get a deep understanding of how it has been affecting you and 
your views towards women. 

Finally, subcommunicate to your lover or mate that wild sexual 
adventure is normal and healthy, even though you understand 
that it's still important in our society to be very discreet about 
such beliefs and behavior. Let's examine each of these points 
in more detail. 



Understand Yourself 

All of us have some aspect of the Complex. From the perspec- 
tive of Evolutionary Psychology, the Complex may also serve 
to distinguish in both men and women such roles as the Lover 
versus the Provider. If you are currently in a loving relation- 
ship with a woman, consider the case where she reveals that 
she has always had a powerful fantasy of being penetrated by 
two men at once. How would you feel about this? Suppose 
you are deeply in love with this women. Does this revelation 
change your feelings for her? VVould you be willing to allow 
her to explore this fantasy, or would you feel betrayed by her 
admission? Here is the social reality: most women have out- 
rageous fantasies, while most men are completely, totally, and 
irrevocably unable to emotionally handle such rampant female 
sexuality. 

But let's say that, unlike most men, you wish to freely enjoy 
women in both aspects. Madonna and whore. In that case, you 
will need to rewire both yourself and your relationship in the 
following ways: 

• First, make sure you are completely comfortable with the 
Madonna side of your relationship. This could take some 
work if you are currently in a rocky relationship, and 
you will need the baseline of trust and comfort. There 
are times when a woman wants to be motherly and feel 



176 



Understand Yourself 



like a lady. This does not mean that you will forfeit your 
leadership role in the relationship. However, there are 
times when a woman can properly enjoy taking care of 
her man and expressing tenderness and affection towards 
him. More on this point is covered in Chapter 19, "Male 
Qualities Attractive to Women". 

• Become comfortable with your own sexual needs and de- 
sires. If you are uncomfortable with your very real desire 
to do X, Y or Z with some "slut" it is 100% certain your 
woman will feel uncomfortable with the idea as well. This 
may take some profound personal reevaluation. 

• Understand your personal boundaries. Write them out if 
necessary. Be detailed and very specific. Imagine situa- 
tions that "couldn't possibly happen." 

• Start subcommunicating that you are comfortable with 
sexually expressive women. That "sluttinesss" is a sexu- 
ally attractive quality. This is easy when it's true. 

• Lose your ego. It is very likely that your woman fan- 
tasizes about other men once in a while. Possibly even 
when you are sexually engaged. That is, while you are 
pretending she is Pamela Andersen, she may be pretend- 
ing you are Jude Law (or whomever). It's normal. Deal 
with it. Play with it even, if you're man enough. 

• Establish a deep, intimate, loving connection with her 
such that your interactions with her are appreciative. That 
is, you are not giving with the expectation of being repaid 
by her, but rather, you are giving to her out of apprecia- 
tion. Once you are able to truly appreciate a woman as an 
intensely sexual being, she will feel much more comfort- 
able deeply opening herself up to you. And you will feel 
comfortable with the responsibility that such trust entails. 

• Make sure that your normal sexual relations with the wo- 
man are otherwise outstanding. Make sure she is thor- 
oughly and properly well-sexed. 



177 



4 Joseph <> David Franco ^ 



• At this point, sexual experimentation is almost a given. 
She will want to be sexually experimental with you! 



If at any point during this process, your woman feels any judge- 
ment about her sexuality from you, or feels any social pressure 
from friends or family, it's game over. At least temporarily. For 
this reason, the quality of discretion is also very important. For 
more information on how to vise discretion in your dealings 
with women, please see Chapter 5 on female subcommunica- 
tion and Chapter 18 on the Anti-Slut Defense. 



Have a Realistic View of the Woman 

The best way to avoid the deleterious influence of the Complex 
is to have enough real-life experience with women. Young men 
should avoid committed relationships with women if they do 
not first have more casual relationships with women, especially 
if they come from a cultural background where the Complexis 
very much present, such as North America. If you believe in 
marriage and want to marry that one special woman you meet 
while you are still young, then it is absolutely crucial that you 
pay attention to female psychology and that you dedicate your- 
self to the understanding of the female psyche and a woman's 
emotional life. 

If you get into a relationship with a woman, without first hav- 
ing a realistic view of what it actually means to be a woman — 
including all of the psychological and cultural forces at work 
that we've discussed here — then be assured that you are go- 
ing to face a lot of trouble and disappointment. A realistic 
view of women starts with the acceptance that they are sex- 
ual human beings with healthy sexual desires. The cultural 
influences that we've been bombarded with since childhood 
regarding Madonnas and whores does not reflect reality. The 
Madonna/ whore complex is in fact an extiemely sick, dissocia- 
tive distortion of reality. 



178 



The Female View of Sex and Politics 



The Female View of Sex and Politics 

Another factor which makes this even more complicated is the 
fact that the Complex has very much to do with gender poli- 
tics and the balance of power between men and women. One 
woman under the effect of the Complex can create for herself a 
life where her sexuality has been totally taken out of the equa- 
tion when it comes to her relationships with men. A different 
woman may be able to remove the "Madonna" part from her 
life completely and effectively use her sexuality as a means to 
achieve social power. 

For example, the woman who sacrifices herself and her rela- 
tionships in favor of her secular career is actually under the ef- 
fect of the Complex. The woman who deliberately suppresses 
all of her natural needs for emotional connection and love, and 
who uses sex as a means to achieve power over men, is also 
under the effect of the Complex, but for different reasons. 



Case Study: The Pastor 

One recent case in the US news involves Ted Haggard, a promi- 
nent pastor of a large Evangelical denomination. For whatever 
reason, conjugal relations with his wife did not provide enough 
sexual fulfillment for him, leading our unfortunate pastor into 
the realm of hot, gay, tweaker sex. This cost him his job of 
course, once he got busted. Although many facts of the case 
are not at all clear, it is self-evident that Mr Haggard was not 
sexually satisfied within the constraints of his marriage. 

Individual psychology is very complex and in the case in ques- 
tion, issues connected with both the inner psychological world 
as well as issues connected with interpersonal relationships are 
likely to be involved. Although we cannot say for certain, Mr. 
Haggard is congruent with the Madonna/whore Complex. We 
can also see evidence of the Complex in society's reaction to 
this case. The magnitude of the public reaction demonstrates 



179 



Joseph <0> David Franco 4 



just how deeply this Complex is ingrained in our society. 

One of the aims of this book is to educate men, so that they can 
have a more relaxed and realistic view of female sexuality. We 
believe that many of these types of problems could be avoided, 
if men and women could learn to meet each other's sexual 
needs without having to psychologically dissociate from each 
other, and without this compulsion to divide women into two 
pieces in a schizophrenic way. While homosexuality is very- 
well accepted in many civilized countries, a single honorable 
man's entire life's work may be permanently damaged by his 
psychological dissociation of sexuality. It is obvious that this 
dissociation of sexuality that is caused by the Complex is very 
harmful and is the cause of such a huge collective reaction of 
denial. In this case there is evidence of a psychotic group reac- 
tion coming from within the pastor's religious social network. 



Case Study: The Sports Celebrity 



In another case, O.J. Simpson, a famous sports celebrity, had 
been accused of the murder of his own wife and her lover. Ev- 
idence about his terrible jealousy towards her and his abusive 
behavior have been widely reported in the media. The exis- 
tence of the Madonna /whore Complex is in this case evident. 
It seems that Mr. Simpson was regularly cheating on his wife, 
while at the same time jealously accusing her of the very same 
act. He apparently could not accept the fact that she is a whole 
woman, and that the jealousy within him reflects a denial of his 
woman's sexual desire. Mr. Simpson was acquitted of all the 
criminal charges against him, but he did in fact come danger- 
ously close to the electric chair. Mr. Simpson's reaction toward 
his wife can be considered to be a focused psychotic reaction, in 
that it is manifested specifically towards one situation and one 
person. At the root of such a psychotic reaction is once again 
the Madonna /whore Complex. 



180 



Case Study: The Prince 



Case Study: The Prince 

In another country. Prince Charles of Wales and his relation- 
ship to a very wild, adventurous woman named Lady Diana 
Spencer was regularly reported on in the media. The wife of 
the Prince, Ms. Spencer, now deceased, was what we would 
define as an LSE Adventuress type of woman. She had suf- 
fered from bulimia and from personal identity problems and 
from depression. In spite of these LSE traits, Ms. Spencer was 
a great woman, dedicated to children and to many charitable 
works. 

As far as we can surmise. Prince Charles too is a great man 
who is devoted to his country. However, he faced a recurring 
problem with his former wife. We can make an educated guess 
that he was probably too much of a "Nice Guy" for a woman 
like Lady Diana. A Nice Guy is someone who is not able to 
recognize an Adventuress for who she is: a woman who has 
possibly suffered from neglect in her childhood, who is often 
in constant need of attention, and usually craves a high degree 
of external stimulation in one form or another. The Nice Guy 
will quite often and quite easily commit the terrible mistake of 
trying to "fix her" or "improve her." 

For a woman of the Adventuress type, attention and validation 
are of paramount concern in her life, and her sexuality is often 
deeply connected with those needs. It is important to note how 
Diana's sexuality seemed to flourish as soon as she found an- 
other man who is what we would call a "tough guy" or a "bad 
boy." It was widely reported that she appeared quite happy for 
the first time in many years. Still, she continued to live a self- 
destructive life. The story ends with her tragic death in a car 
accident in Paris, a death whose circumstances are still unclear. 

What if Prince Charles would have been able to deal with Ms. 
Spencer more effectively? Would she still be alive? It is pos- 
sible that a whole web of psychotic reactions had been caused 
as a result of the Prince's inability to acknowledge or properly 
handle the free-mindedness of his wife, triggering a long and 
complex chain of events which eventually led to her death. 



181 



18 The Anti-Slut Defense 



What kind of a girl would do 

the things you're askin' me to without wedding rings? 
Is it what you must do to prove you're a man? 
What kind of a girl do you think I am? 
— What Kind of a Girl, by Loretta Lynn 

FTEN a woman will want to have sex with a man, 
sometimes very urgently, but she will impose logi- 
cal reasons, excuses, and other obstacles in order to 
hinder sex from happening. Especially when a wo- 
man is in the presence of her peers or family will she tend to 
avoid any appearance of promiscuity or of being too readily 
available for sex. Her corresponding behavior in such situa- 
tions is referred to as the "Anti-Slut Defense" (ASD). 

An experienced man can deflect ASD so as to extract from his 
woman the best of her sexuality. On the other hand, learning 
to detect ASD is also important in order for you to be able to 
determine which woman or women to spend your time and 
energy on. You should be aware that there is a socially-induced 
ASD, which is present in every woman, and also a pathologi- 
cal ASD, which is a sign of a woman who will never be able 
to fully enjoy her sexuality, even within the boundaries of a 
socially-acceptable relationship such as marriage. A woman 
who exhibits strong ASD at all times no matter what the cir- 
cumstances can surely be considered LSE. 

This chapter includes some of the most important material in 
this book. Your ability to defuse ASD is one of the most pow- 
erful weapons you will have for being in a position to sexually 
satisfy women. 



ASD in Seduction 

Seducing is the act of first creating attraction within a woman, 
and soon thereafter a willingness to have sex with you. In most 
cases, you can view the presence of at least some of the signs 




4t Joseph 0 David C Franco ^ 



of ASD as a positive thing. Generally speaking, ASD is a sign 
that you are succeeding in making a woman homy. With your 
help, a psychologically healthy woman will eventually be able 
to overcome her ASD and enjoy sex with you. 

ASD can be detected by observing a complex of verbal and 
non-verbal, behavioral responses within the woman. Detect- 
ing ASD is not always easy; in fact, the woman will not usually 
communicate it directly but, rather, she will subcommunicate 
it. 

During the seduction process, you will need to perform an in- 
dependent interpretation of the woman's subcommunication 
without actually talking or arguing with her about it. Quite of- 
ten, the presence of ASD is completely unconscious to the wo- 
man. Even in cases where a woman recognizes certain symp- 
toms of ASD within herself, she will rarely discuss this openly 
with you. 

ASD can be noticed when a woman shows signs of general un- 
easiness in conjunction with an increase in her arousal. This is 
different than when a woman is testing you. Usually, a wo- 
man tests a man so that she can determine whether or not he is 
worthy of having sex with her. With ASD, on the other hand, 
she is already craving sexual relations with you, but she is feel- 
ing a sense of inner conflict about her arousal. She may won- 
der whether she is a slut or a bad woman for being so aroused 
so quickly in your presence. As was already mentioned, these 
feelings maybe (somewhat) unconscious and be manifested by 
a general feeling of discomfort. 

Keep in mind that ASD can be very specific: some women may 
feel like sluts if they have sex with you on the beach and yet be 
perfectly at ease having sex with you in hotels. Other women 
may feel that they are sluts if they have sex with you in a hotel 
and be perfectly at ease on the beach. 

A woman's ASD will often be totally illogical and unrelated 
to the context and situation. For example Franco remembers 
one of his lovers, a married woman, who felt she was perfectly 
okay making love with him at her professional studio, and yet 
she would feel like a slut when presented with the opportunity 



184 



ASP in Long-Term Relationships 



for a rendezvous at a hotel. 

Usually, a woman's feelings of ASD will be projected onto the 
man in question, meaning that she will tend to feel that it is en- 
tirely your fault if she begins to feel badly about feeling slutty. 

What is a "Slut", anyway? 

When we think in terms of evolutionary advantage, people will 
tend to label women as "sluts" when they seem to be ignoring 
certain rules for fair competition among women. Women are 
always after the highest-value males, and a slut is a wornan 
who is accused of selling her reproductive rights to men at too- 
low of a price. Women are very competitive in nature and will 
sometimes enforce the rules of competition through selective 
labeling of their competitors. 

The term "slut" also comes from a perspective of negative moral 
judgement on the part men with the Madonna/whore com- 
plex. These men are in fact scared of competition with other 
men, and so they label women whom they consider to be "easy" 
as sluts. A man speaking in such a derogatory fashion about a 
woman is in fact demonstrating fear of the woman's sexuality 
and an inability to handle it in a mature fashion.^ 



ASD in Long-Term Relationships 

ASD is also rampant in long-term relationships! In fact, it's 
almost certainly more present in long-term relationships with 
Provider-type men than it is in short term or ephemeral rela- 
tionships with Lovers. 

Think about it from the woman's point of view. She may en- 
joy a surprisingly wide variety of sexual activity, but her need 
for personal security and security for her children preclude 
such activities, when her man is not comfortable with sexually- 

'"Slut" is a label also applied by men to women who refuse to grant sex- 
ual access to such men, while publicly granting access to other males. In this 
situation, the epithet comes from envy. 



185 



X Joseph <> David ^ Franco 4 



engaged women. Suppose he sees on TV or a movie a scene 
depicting a sexually active woman and exclaims "What a slut 
she is!" using a tone laden with condemnation or contempt. 
His judgement on that woman sends powerful messages to the 
woman he is with, such as: 

• He is not comfortable with female sexuality 

• He may be supplicating to obtain his woman's approval, 
saying what he believes she wants to hear 

• He does not have very much sexual experience with wo- 
men. Men with a lot of sexual experience with women 
know that women as a group enjoy an extremely wide 
variety of sexual activity. 

• 

Women will test for your views on "sluttiness" within a rela- 
tionship, by making remarks like "Oh that woman is such a 
slut!" If you are a man who enjoys the company of women, 
step up and say so: "I know! That's what 1 like about her so 
much!" This test is commonly employed early on in a relation- 
ship. The woman will use bad-behaving celebrities — or other 
women she doesn't know personally making similar news — 
as examples for such comments. 

One thing is for sure: if you don't believe a woman is capable of 
acting in some particular sexual manner, you can be absolutely 
sure she won't act in this way, with you. If such an activity is 
something she craves, some integral part of her love map, she 
may find it elsewhere. If you don't take steps to lead her where 
you want to go, you will never find out one way or another 
whether she is willing to follow you there. Don't sell her short! 



Practical Advice 

In our society, it may not be possible to eliminate the pheno- 
menon of ASD entirely, but we can certainly mitigate the inci- 
dence and severity of it with the women we choose to interact 



186 



Practical Advice 



with. One important way that we can do this is by mastering 
something known as Discretion. 

Discretion is the quahty that we display as a signal to the wo- 
man that we are aware of the prevalence in society of the Ma- 
donna/whore complex, and that we have personally dealt with 
it. We realize that the complex presents a real danger for wo- 
men in our world; at the very least, she senses danger from it 
in her subconscious mind. How do you subcommunicate to a 
woman that she is safe being sexual with you? 

Consider when you are in a group of people, and some of the 
men begin making distasteful comments about a certain wo- 
man's sexuality. Are you eager to make fun at the woman's 
expense? Or consider if you have an opportunity for a secret 
rendezvous with an attractive woman. Are you the type of per- 
son to openly discuss the possibilities with your friends, as if 
you were a child about to travel to Disney World for the first 
time? Or would you likely brag about your conquest after the 
fact to anyone who will listen? Doing any of these things will 
position you as a man that is not discreet and who cannot be 
trusted with any decent woman's honor. You will automati- 
cally and unfailingly raise the ASD of the women around you. 
This is something, however, that women will rarely, if ever, talk 
about. Women simply avoid men who are not discreet. 

Men who are enjoying many sexual partners do not need to 
brag about their conquests as if they somehow "got lucky." 
Men who want to enjoy the company of many women must 
first learn to cultivate and display the quality of discretion. You 
are a man that is comfortable with women and their sexual- 
ity, and at the same time you know when to keep your mouth 
shut. You are not disturbed by female sexual expression and 
at the same time you know how to discreetly create the cir- 
cumstances that will allow the woman the freedom to express 
herself. While you love and enjoy sex and have no embarrass- 
ment about your sexual desires as a healthy man, sex is not 
something so rare and unusual for you that you are compelled 
to reveal private details to the woman's friends, or even your 
own friends. 



187 



Jit Joseph O David 9 Franco 4 



You will find that even women who have a liberated view of 
sexuality will in fact avoid men who do not display discretion. 
While many people today will not judge a woman for being 
promiscuous, other people will still judge her quite harshly. 
Naturally, she will feel comfortable with non-judgmental peo- 
ple and will want to avoid people with a deeply-ingrained Ma- 
donna/whore complex. 

Demonstrate Discretion 

It's not enough to subcommunicate discretion. You must demon- 
strate discretion as well. Men who are showoffs, braggarts and 
boasters, who must have the last word, who crave being the 
"most in the know," who are addicted to playing "one-up," 
these men will find demonstrating discretion much more dif- 
ficult. 

Here's how it works: Discussing real sexuality is more or less 
taboo in nearly all segments of society. When sexuality is dis- 
cussed, uncomfortable topics often arise quickly, increasing the 
social and sexual tension. This tension is invariably reduced 
with ridicule. Which is exactly what triggers ASD. 

Suppose you and your woman get up to some naughty stuff, 
stuff that drives her crazy, but she would be mortified if people 
found out. Now you are both surprised to find that the topic 
comes up in public discussion, in one of two ways: 

1. As innuendo. This is easy: let it pass. If other people 
in the conversation don't know otherwise, just let them 
think you're a bit "dull" in such matters and not so quick 
on the uptake about the sex thing. Your woman will in- 
stantly understand and appreciate your actions here. 

2. Directly. A little bit tougher: go with the crowd here, 
and subcommunicate to your woman that you're play- 
ing along to maintain discretion. Tell her later, in private, 
that while you may find such people agreeable to social- 
ize with at times, their unenlightened, judgemental or ig- 
norant attitude about women's sexuality is boring to you. 



188 



Practical Advice 



More simply put: just keeping your mouth shut will go a lot 
further than most men. 

Reducing ASD in LTRs 

Men in long-term relationships wanting to engage their women 
in deeper, more passionate sexuality need to start with them- 
selves. In particular, as a man, you must ask yourself these 
questions: 

• What really is acceptable and unacceptable female sexual 
behavior for me? (Dig deep, gentlemen.) 

• How am I — as a man leading my relationship — pre- 
pared to take concrete action? 

Most men have a vague notion of their feelings about the first 
point, and none at all about the second. In fact, most men aren't 
really aware they have any choice in the matter of the second 
point. 

Once the above work has been started (it's a process; don't 
think you will ever finish it), taking a relationship to the next 
level generally follows one of two patterns: 

1. The man attempts to logically persuade the woman. 

2. The woman attempts to emotionally persuade the man. 

You can see both patterns in nearly every issue of Playboy's 
"Advisor" column. 

The first point never works. Not ever. The second is much 
more liable to work, except that not too many women are go- 
ing to lead their relationship in a "sluttier" direction. More so 
today than ever before — to be sure — but this is still the ex- 
ception rather than the rule. Not so surprisingly, for the second 
point, women tell of frustration in attempting to engage their 
men with activity beyond the men's comfort zones. 

So, how to proceed? 

The answer is simple! 



189 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco ^ 



Simply seduce your woman. That's all there is to it. Remem- 
ber, it's impossible to seduce someone who is unwilling to be 
seduced. Let her be the "willing victim of circumstance;" let 
this be your gift to her. 

Every time you desire a level of sexual engagement that is be- 
yond either the social norm or her present comfort level, lead 
her there with confidence. Everything about seduction still ap- 
plies in a long term relationship just as much as in a same night 
lay from a nightclub. You will have to build her attraction to 
you high enough to compel her to desire the risk. You must 
build comfort and rapport at this newer, deeper and riskier 
level of sexual engagement. You must be willing to handle 
ASD as it arises. And most importantly, you must be able to 
handle Last Minute Resistance from your woman exactly as if 
you just met her 3 hours before in a cafe. In a very real sense, 
you are meeting a new zvomanl Certainly, you are meeting an as- 
pect of her personality that is previously unknown to you. She 
must always feel the emotional security that comes from being 
with a man who truly loves women. 



190 



19 Male Qualities Attractive to Women 



A pretty man came to me 

Never seen eyes so blue 

I could not run away 

It seemed we'd seen each other in a dream 

It seemed like he knew me 

— Magic Man, by Heart 



1"OVV you know all about how the female mind works! 
In fact, you know things about feminine psychol- 
ogy that very, very few men will ever know. Expe- 
rienced ladies men may know a lot of these things 
subconsciously, but never before has the true nuts and bolts of 
the female brain been laid out for you in such a way as we have 
done in this book. 

Now, it's time to take a look at ourselves as men. It's one thing to 
understand what motivates women and what gets them sexu- 
ally aroused. It's quite another matter to actually be a man who 
is sexually appealing to women. So let's take a good, long look 
in the mirror and find where we can improve ourselves as men 
who love women deeply. 



Looks 



Do you think that women care a lot about a man's looks? Before 
we answer that question, here's another: have you ever seen a 
woman being drawn to a particular man and found yourself 
scratching your head in amazement? You look at the guy, and 
you think to yourself, "That guy is as ugly as home-made sin, 
what in the world does she see in him?."^ While many good 
looking men have beautiful women in their lives, many do not. 

Good looks can, in fact, hinder your success with women. A 

'Joseph: I recall many such experiences while growing up. I would say to 
myself, "it can't be his looks, he's very ugly! At least by the standards I've seen 
on television. What is going on here?" It took me years to understand what 
was reallxf going on. 



X Joseph 0 David ^ Franco 4 



very good looking, handsome, or dapper man is expected to be 
an expert with women. Such a man lacking expert qualities suf- 
fers under the label of "creepy." This is due to a phenomenon 
called congruence. A man who looks like he is good with wo- 
men should be good with women. This is a situation that wors- 
ens with age. Really good-looking, younger guys can get away 
with quite a bit, especially with older women who find such 
naive incongruence to be cute or charming. Furthermore, with- 
out very careful calibration, women who cannot match you in 
looks may well refuse your advances, feeling that all a good- 
looking guy would want with her is easy sex. Thus, whether 
you look like a male model or not, you need game to consis- 
tently get what you want! 

What one woman finds attractive is often another woman's 
definition of dog food. It's that subjecive. We have also discov- 
ered that when it comes to looks, men put priority on different 
facets than women do. Of course, women prefer tall men with 
muscular bodies, right? However, if a man possesses certain 
other attributes besides just good looks, what we will call Al- 
pha Attributes, he will actually be rated as better looking by the 
women in the study. Conversely men who appear ^ good look- 
ing in photographs, will later be ranked several points lower 
on the looks scale if they are deficient in the Alpha Attributes. 



Alpha Atributes 

Before we discuss some of the Alpha Attributes that you will 
want to cultivate in yourself, let's posit for now that good looks 
are a somewhat of a help in your success with women. If you 
are naturally good looking, you might have a certain advan- 
tage at the outset, and we won't deny that. However, as you 
will soon discover, there are other qualities that you must have 
which are far more important. 

In Chapter 4 (Female Basic Conflict), we examined in detail 
how, instinctually, women have two primary needs when it 

^Women will tell you these men "look good on paper." 



192 



Alpha Atributes 



comes to selecting a mate. First, they need a man with fierce, 
strong genes to mate with. This is where sexual attraction comes 
into play. Women also need emotional and financial support 
during times of pregnancy and childbirth and through the in- 
fancy of the child. True, modern society has conferred many 
benefits onto women such that they usually no longer need 
a specific man to fulfill the role of "provider." Whether con- 
sciously or unconsciously, however, women will typically view 
a man as either a potential Lover, or a potential Provider, or 
some combination of these two types. It is crucial to under- 
stand this distinction, which all women make with the men in 
their lives. 

What then, about material wealth? Well, whether you are a 
Lover or a Provider, having wealth will certainly help you with 
your goals in life. But again, like good looks, it is not even a 
primary criteria for attracting a woman sexually. (Recall from 
Chapter 7 — Female Archetypes — that a Materialista is a wo- 
man who is not motivated by sexual attraction but by money 
or material possessions). 

It is true that we are constantly bombarded with media im- 
ages telling us that a man on one knee who has just spent three 
month's worth of his salary to buy a stone for a woman is what 
makes him sexually attractive. And we know that both men 
and women love to receive gifts. But demonstrating that you 
put your woman on a pedestal, or displaying your capability 
as a potential Provider, is not at all the same thing as cooking 
up sexual attraction within a woman. As you will soon dis- 
cover, sexual attraction does not get sparked within a woman 
based on the size of your bank account or even by your genuine 
displays of love towards her. 

A man's ability to generate and grow wealth does in fact signal 
the presence of other, more important qualities within the man, 
such as leadership, intelligence, survivability and so forth. 

What is an "Alpha" male? According to dictionary.com. Al- 
pha Male simply refers to a man who is the dominant member 
within a group of males. Women are irresistibly drawn to the 
Alpha Male. It's instinctual: a woman cannot help but feel deep 



193 



Joseph <> David ^ Franco ^ 



sexual attraction when she is in the presence of an Alpha Male. 
Her instincts signal to her that he is a leader of men, he is a 
survivor. He is so strong that competition from other males — 
which is a reality in life — does not phase him at all, in fact, he 
thrives on it. Her evolutionary instincts signal unmistakably 
that this is a man she would like to mate with. In plain English, 
we say "he makes her horny." 

Naturally, then, we will want to cultivate the traits of an Al- 
pha Male. More than just putting on an act, we must become 
the Alpha Male. We've already explained in great detail how 
a woman will test you to see whether you are putting on an 
act or if you are the real deal. To become an Alpha Male can 
sometimes take years of practice and study, but great improve- 
ments can be made starting today, as soon as you set this book 
down on your coffee table. What, then, are some of the key 
characteristics of the Alpha Male? 

Impudence is the most tell-tale trait of the Alpha Male: that 
ability to raise a finger, saluting the absurdity of life, and face 
the consequences with a smile or smirk. Another way in which 
we demonstrate impudence is by displaying our ability to take 
a woman sexually. Everyone knows that heterosexual men like 
to have sex with beautiful women, but due to society's con- 
straints and that mental illness that we've referred to earlier as 
the Madonna/ whore Complex, men hold back."* Such men act 
overly polite and gentlemanly, so as not to offend the woman's 
supposed delicate sensibilities. The impudent man, on the other 
hand, takes what he wants. An impudent man is not intimidated 
by beauty and is not afraid to create the circumstances to entice 
a beautiful woman into willing submission. 

Sexual Confidence Another reason why being a sexually con- 
fident male is attractive to women is because it demonstrates 
that you have sexual competence. Women don't want to just 
have sex; they can get plain old sex anywhere and any time. 
What women do want, what women intensely crave, is great 
sex. We are confident about the things we know we are good 
at. Therefore, when we display sexual confidence, we are send- 

^"Taking" a beautiful woman is not an endorsement for forced sex any more 
than capitalism is an endorsement for bank robbery. 



194 



Alpha Atributes 



ing a powerful message to the woman: we know what we are 
doing and we know how to blow her mind! That's instantly 
attractive to a woman. 

Voice Quality. We defer to popular authority on this one: "US 
researchers got 149 men and women to rate the attractiveness 
of a series of recorded voices. They found the most appealing 
voices belonged to people who had sex at an earlier age, had 
more sexual partners and were more prone to infidelity." We 
refuse to speculate whether voice quality is cause or effect! 

Leader of Men, Protector of Women. When you demonstrate 
that you understand the potential danger a woman faces if she 
acts out sexually, and that you are a man that can shield her 
from those consequences, then you are naturally going to be 
attractive to her. Most women are not impressed by a man who 
finds himself in bar fights or other unnecessary physical alter- 
cations. But she will want to know she is safe with you and that 
you're not afraid to act in cases where it's absolutely necessary. 
It's really important to recognize that rushing to a woman's de- 
fense is rarely necessary. A man who doesn't understand this 
subtle point is going to create the opposite effect in women to 
what he intends. 

Mission and Honor. Take away from a man his mission and 
his honor, take away from him the feeling that he is useful 
to his women and his children, and you kill him emotionally. 
Men understand instinctively that without respect, there is no 
chance for love. As a man, you'll want to be steadfast in your 
mission in life, whatever you might choose for that to be. And 
you'll want to be sure that your principles and your mission in 
life is without compromise, especially in cases where a woman 
might try to divert you from them. A woman really doesn't 
want a man to give up his mission or compromise his honor 
for her, but she is interested to know if a man will easily be led 
to do so. 

Decisiveness has many aspects, the most notable of which is 
the ability to make an appropriate decision when under men- 
tal, emotional or physical stress. This could be called "Decisive 

^http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3665246.stm 



195 



Jit Joseph 0 David <y Franco 4 



Leadership" and has a very important place in relationships. 



Dominance and Social Status 

Male Sexual Dominance is a complex of behavioral responses 
from a man meant to lead the woman and her emotions into 
sex. Male Sexual Dominance is actually an important precondi- 
tion for a woman to become sexually aroused. The "Cocky and 
Funny" attitude, popularized by David DeAngelo, is a pattern 
of behavior that constitutes sexual dominance over the female, 
without the need for physical dominance. This style of behavior 
does indeed elicit sexual arousal in females. By withdrawing 
rapport from the female, and by displaying a cocky but funny 
or playful attitude, the male is behaving in a sexually dominant 
way and is thereby able to arouse the female sexually. 

Just as visual stimulus is a great factor in increasing a man's 
sexual desire, a man's social status has a tremendous impact on 
female sexual desire. This means that a certain characteristic in 
the male elicits a certain neurobiological response in the recip- 
ient. 

Of course, the fact that women will respond preferentially to 
men displaying the traits indicative of high mate value does 
not imply that women consciously appraise men through the 
sharp eye of material pragmatism in every case. 

When a woman experiences feelings of sexual attraction, she is 
not, at a conscious level, plotting a reproductive strategy de- 
signed to maximize the representation of her genes in future 
generations. Rather, she is probably simply experiencing sex- 
ual desire for the man in question. This desire may or may 
not enhance her reproductive success in the milieu where it is 
experienced. 



196 



Practical Advice 



Practical Advice 

When you start to apply the counsel in this book and adopt the 
traits of the alpha male, you will find that competition among 
women for your time and company can in fact become quite 
fierce. As men who have made such a transformation, we can 
tell you first hand that you will experience astonishment at the 
reactions you begin to receive from women, along with a deep 
sense of satisfaction. 

Warning! women will test you, and test you hard. As we have 
discussed, females have a biological imperative to select only 
the best males to have sexual relationships with. Therefore, 
quite simply, women will test you in order to determine whether 
you truly possess those Alpha traits or are just a fake, only pre- 
tending to be an Alpha Male. A woman becomes consciously 
aware that she is in the presence of an attractive male, but at 
the same time her instincts drive her to make certain choices. 
Therefore, these tests will be both conscious and subconscious 
from the woman's perspective. 

The important thing is to recognize these tests when they come, 
and to not take them personally in a negative way. The testing 
is "personal," in the sense that they are directed at you, but the 
good news is that it generally means that the woman likes you 
and has at least some attraction for you. Why? Because if she 
were not attracted to you, she wouldn't bother spending any 
time with you at all! 

Men that are orbiters will generally say that their relationships 
with these women are generally good and that they cannot un- 
derstand why she is not attracted sexually when they "do ev- 
erything for her." What such a man has missed is that the wo- 
man has already tested him and found him lacking as a sexual 
being. He is now in the role of male girlfriend, or benefactor, 
and as long as he maintains that role, she has no reason to argue 
with him or test him as a sexual male. She will, of course, still 
test him from time to time to ensure that the dinners, drinks 
and emotional comfort are always available to her. 

Since testing is so closely related to the mechanisms controlling 



197 



Jit Joseph 0 David Z> Franco 4 



sexual attraction, it is important to remember that testing never 
ends. Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within the 
relationship is important. Some of the ways in which the au- 
thors of this book maintain attraction with our mates are: 

• Regular, social interaction with men who are attractive to 
women. Uncalibrated and unattractive men induce the 
risk of socially awkward situations and won't help you 
to mature into a more attractive man. 

• Clear demonstration of physical leadership in our daily 
lives. We are each living our lives in a manner congruent 
with our beliefs, with gusto and without apology. 

• Regular, social interaction with other attractive females. 
Women are social creatures, and will derive emotional 
satisfaction from being with a man capable of being with 
a variety of women. 

Normal, social interactions with attractive women are critical 
for several reasons. Within the hothouse of a relationship, in- 
teractions between men and women can assume bizarre and 
ultimately unhealthy forms without socially calibrating expe- 
riences with normal, healthy women outside the relationship. 
Direct, personal feedback from women allows us to calibrate 
our behavior within the relationship. When we are passing tests 
thrown by women outside the relationship, we have a baseline 
for our own behavior inside the relationship. For those of you 
who enjoy jealous women (we do not), this could inspire a cer- 
tain amount of jealously, which also increases attraction, so cal- 
ibrate accordingly. 

Men, note well: encourage your woman to maintain normal, 
regular social interaction with males of her acquaintance. If 
you are the man of her dreams, her Prince, you have nothing 
to fear. 



198 



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[4] Leil Lowndes. Undercover Sex Signals. Kensington Publish- 
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[5] Tracey Cox. SuperFlirt. DK Publishing, Inc, 375 Hudson 
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[6] John Gray. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. 
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203 



A Glossary of Terms 

Subcommunication: The underlying or implied meaning be- 
hind direct communication. Women's favored method of com- 
munication with each other and with members of the opposite 
sex. 

Betaization: The process by which a man loses his leadership 
position to the female in the relationship. This can happen sud- 
denly or imperceptibly over time. Women are unconsciously 
driven towards this process; they will inexorably lose sexual 
attraction for the man who allows this process to continue vm- 
abated. 

LTR: A long-term relationship with an expectation of monogamy 
between the man and the woman. 

MLTR: Multiple long-term relationships. Similar to LTR, ex- 
cept without monogamy; there is the possibility or reality of 
other, simultaneous relationships for either the man or the wo- 
man or both of them. 

EFA: The Early Frame Announcement. A woman's subcom- 
municated declaration, very early on in the relationship, of her 
inflexible terms for the relationship. 

Female Logic: Women have a unique method of communicat- 
ing emotions that is often baffling to men. Neurological stud- 
ies and especially our own field experience have demonstrated 
that men and women use different parts of the brain to reach 
conclusions on important matters, and that our primary goals 
when it comes to dating and mating can often be in conflict. 

Magic Pussy Syndrome (MPS): The belief that because a wo- 
man possesses a pussy, she is entitled to special privileges at 
other people's expense. This is an endemic cultural phenome- 
non in modern, western society. 

Good Girl: A woman whose primary motivation when it comes 
to relationships with men is the relationship itself. 

Adventuress: A woman who is primarily concerned with male 
attention and validation, and her own selfish pleasure. 

Materialista: A woman who is primarily concerned with the 



A Joseph <^ David ^ Franco ^ 



Bibliography 



material benefits she can derive from her relationships with 
men. 

HD: High Sex Drive. A woman with a higher-than-average sex 
drive. 

LD: Low Sex Drive. A woman with a lower-than-average sex 
drive. 

HSE: High Self Esteem. A woman with a high level of Basic 
Trust. 

LSE: Low Self Esteem. A woman with a low level of Basic 
Trust. 

Basic Trust: An degree of inner sureness that a person has that 
their inner and external worlds will be safe and happy places 
for them, as opposed to places of turmoil and unmanageable 
conflict. 

AB Indecision: The presentation of two or more choices — 
both equally agreeable to the man — which are then disquali- 
fied by the woman on emotional rather than logical grounds. 



206